Pairing: HP/LM

Rating: R

Warning: Slash, angst, M/M, Mpreg

Disclaimer: All characters from Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers. I'm just an obsessed maniac who is also an insomniac thanks to the voices in her head. The Thistleton Hotel really exists and I have never been in there. I am not making any money out of this and use the Hotel name purely because it was in the right local and I liked how it looked from the outside. Trust me, if you try to sue me, it won't get you any money cos I'm dirt broke already!

Archived: ask please

Feedback: Desperately needed…

A/N: Hi, I'm trying a new format and am posting this in html so if the formatting is messed up, I'm sorry!! I'll fix it as best as I can! Firstly, I wantto wish everyone out there Happy Chinese New Year to all those who celebrate. Gong Xi Fa Chai!! Ang Pau Na Lai jk. Hope you all like this new chapter. I decided since everyone wants me to post longer chapters I'm giving you both Lucius and Harry today. Dhaina, sure, I'll be honored to have you archive my fic on your site. Just send me the link! Saavik, no Snape yet but coming soon, I promise. Black Rose, I'm glad you like it. Hah! I've corrupted someone!!! I"m soo bad!! * Evil grin* Forever Young, patience, patience. The kiss would probably be in the next few chapters. Depending on Harry and Lucius. The Mpreg, well, that happens after two years so, it'll be a bit longer before we get there. Hang in there. Oh yeah! I am so totally honored to say, I got my first flame!! Now I really feel like a fanfic writer! Seriously though, am I putting up enough warnings here? Let me know if you think it's not enough! Hope you all like this chapter. If Harry and Lucius cooperates, then I'll try to churn out the next one by sunday, providing my Beta's Linda and Lillian who are doing a great job can finish it by then. Take care all! those who want to send me ang pau's, I'll send you my address!

Thistleton Hotel, Bayswater, London, Flashback, Lucius' POV

Sitting on the bed, the door locked, my head in my hands, I ponder on the last few hours. After leaving Dumbledore's office, the rest was all a blur to me. I know I sent an owl to Narcissa informing her I have a lead on my latest project and will be staying in London for a few weeks to follow it up. Of course, even in my daze I carefully coded the message to convey enough information for her to pass on to her lover and keep me out of his wrath, hopefully. After that, I apparated with Waz to Hyde Park and then walked around the vicinity, looking for an out of the way hotel that wasn't below me.

When the Potter boy changed back into his animagus form, it was bittersweet. For one minute, I was rejoicing the fact that I had my precious Waz back, and then the next moment, reality set in. When Dumbledore addressed the panther as Harry, informing the jungle cat that his close friends and his godfather would be informed of his 'discovery' and of his new status as hidden. I felt betrayed. The first person I really opened up to was wrenched from me unexpectedly. I think I would've felt better if he had died. At least I could have mourned. This way, this way I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to react. This doesn't bode well for the next three weeks we are going to spend in each other's company. If only the blasted boy would stay a boy.

I hate myself. I hate my life. I was a fool to have given in to my blasted heart. Why did I ever let myself think I could have a friend? Malfoys DON'T HAVE FRIENDS!!! As if I haven't learned that particular lesson time and time again. We are above everybody, we use and sometimes are used, but we never have friends, much lest kindred spirits! Hah! Bloody fool I was. I let a pair of soulful eyes and helplessness beguile me into forgetting a life's worth of lessons and throwing caution into the winds. Well, never ever again.

Why then am I wasting my time here? Oh, yes, because The-Terminally-Cheerful-And-Insane-Headmaster commands it. I spend my life learning never to allow myself to be used and what do I do? I'm caught in between the two most manipulative power figures of the century. Must be the by-product of manifesting Crabbe and Goyle genes. the lengths Malfoys over the ages had gone to in order to preserve their precious 'pureblood' I'm just going to get this over with. There is no Waz, Potter is an irritating brat that has to be put up with and I'll remember that. I'll do what I have to do, train the little monster and then return to my wonderful household where my wife is fucking the bloody Dark Lord. I wonder why I don't just kill myself right now.

Sigh, now that I have all of that sorted out, I guess it's time to start teaching the brat. Oh……… wait……… this promises to be entertaining, I can curse the miserable boy as much as I like in the name of training! Yes!! Revenge!! Well, no time like the present!

Living room of the suite, Harry's POV

Great, just great. Get yourself together Potter! Why are you letting Malfoy affect you like this. The only reason you remained with him was because you thought he was a threat and you could collect information. No other reasons. You didn't run away in the Alley because you couldn't, not because you didn't want to. You are not to be concerned over the fact that Malfoy looked betrayed. Ron would cheer you on. As if I could ever tell him about this but he would celebrate for a year that I had hurt Malfoy. I'm insane, that's why I've been checking him out. It was purely animal instinct to want to comfort my master when hurt. Wait a minute, master?? Uh uh, no bloody way, no bloody fucking way! I did not just call Malfoy my master! No, Vernon just gave me one to many kicks to the head. Right? Right?

Right, then why the hell did I feel so hurt when Malfoy looked at me angrily? Why in all the seven hells did I want to defend myself when he thought I had betrayed him? Why on earth would I even want to comfort him?? The look on his face when I had to transform back into Waz, Gods……… My name is not Waz! My name is Shadow!! My animagus name is SHADOW!!! Damn it! I'm reduced with arguing with myself over a bloody alter ego name! Bugger it all! Why the sodding hell do I feel so bereft knowing he is in the other room because he finds my company distasteful? ARGH!!!!!! It hurt so much walking from the park when I felt him reach down absently and almost pet me then withdraw suddenly with a look of revulsion on his face.

OK, that's it! That's the last straw! I, HARRY POTTER DO NOT GIVE A BLOODY RATS ARSE AS TO HOW LUCIUS 'BLOODY-RIGHT-HAND-MAN-OF-VOLDEMORT' MALFOY FEELS!!!!!

But then again, he isn't the right hand man of Voldemort. Far from it. He's a spy for the order and apparently was responsible for getting Snape back into the fold. He's being cuckolded by his wife who's sleeping with the bloody man whose boots he has to lick. He had been kind and gentle all the time he had me. Heck, when before I knew who he was, I had never felt safer nor happier in my entire life. He, without knowing who I was, showed me more compassion and tenderness then anyone I've ever known. And, apparently, from all accounts of what I've heard from him over the past week, he is just as friendless, and is stuck in the same futile situation as I am.

Oh, screw it. I'm going to go easy on him. I just know it. I'm going to debase myself and befriend the fucking git. Argh!! I hate my Gryffindor tendencies!! Snape is right, no feelings, ice-cold wall locking everyone out. That's the way to go. But, of course, things like that don't work for Harry bloody Potter do they now? No, that would make things too easy and easy just isn't written in the stars for me. Why the hell do I have to be Mr. Nice Guy all the time?

Sigh, oh well, time to go talk to the bastard. Might as well make the time we have to spend together at least slightly less tense. I mean, we need to be alert here, there's no way we can fully concentrate with all this crap between us. Well, time to beard Mal, no, Lucius I'm going to do this the proper way even if it kills me, which it most probably will knowing my luck! in his den.