Steven Hyde's Television Fantasies – Chapter 2 – Gilligan's Island

DISCLAIMER:  I own nothing related to either That '70's Show or Gilligan's Island. Too bad cause I'd be rich!

AN:  Another chapter in the continuing saga of Hyde's television fantasies.  Feel free to read, review, critique, and offer ideas.  Thanks!

Another yawnfest day comes to a close and finds Steven Hyde fast asleep on his cot in the Forman's basement. 

DREAM SEQUENCE:

Jackie Ann was wandering aimlessly along the shore, looking wistfully out to sea, and thinking that she would most likely die a virgin if they never got off this damn island.  It had been two years already and she was starting to get really lonely. Donna Ginger had Professor Eric, Red and Kitty Howell had each other, Gilligan Kelso and Skipper Fez—well, neither one of them was tempting enough for her.  Jackie Ann suddenly noticed something lying on the beach several yards ahead of her. No, make that someone lying on the beach. 

"Oh, my gosh!" she shrieked as she ran awkwardly through the sand.  She stopped a few feet away and looked with amazement at the figure lying face-up on the sand.  It was a man!  And a really gorgeous man at that.  He had curly brownish-blond hair, a scruffy-looking beard, and gold hoop earrings in both ears.  Her gaze wandered downward to see that he was dressed in a thin, white, and very wet and clingy, shirt.  He also wore fawn colored breeches, again very wet and clingy.  Black, knee high boots completed the look.  "Oh, my goodness, he looks like a pirate!" she exclaimed, then dropped to her knees to cradle his head in her lap.

Captain Steven Hyde moaned and gradually regained consciousness.  He looked up to see a beautiful, dark-haired woman kneeling over him.  She was gently brushing his wet hair back from his forehead and saying softly to herself, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you". 

"Arggh, Wench, you're a beautiful sight," he said as he struggled to sit up.

"Oh, thank goodness you're okay.  Here, let me help you."  Jackie Ann began to pull him to his feet but he was much too heavy for her.  He swayed briefly before falling into her arms and knocking them both back on the sand.  Hyde found himself lying on top of the comely young woman. He could feel the heat of her body through his wet clothes.  I be either dreaming or addled,  he thought to himself.  If only me head didn't hurt so badly, I'd….

Suddenly, a shout rang out and Hyde saw a goofy-looking guy wearing a sailor hat come running out of the jungle.

"Oh, hey Mister, hey Mister, are you okay?  Oh, my gosh, let me help", said the scrawny fellow.

Hyde slowly got to his feet with the aid of his companions.  His petite brunette rescuer stood next to him, brushing the sand from her clothes and blushing mightily.

"Where the hell do I be?" Hyde said with a groan as a feeling of vertigo swept over him.

"You're on an uncharted desert isle," said the klutzy sailor who was attempting to help him walk further ashore.  "My name is Gilligan Kelso.  My friends and I have been stranded here for two years.  Do you have a ship?  Where did you come from?"  Gilligan continued to question Hyde relentlessly as they made their way into the interior of the island.  After a short distance they reached a well-maintained camp with several grass huts surrounding a campfire area. 

Before he could get his bearings, Hyde noticed several other people coming out of the huts.  It was a strange, yet oddly familiar, group of people that now surrounded him.

An odd fellow wearing a captain's cap stepped forward and said, "Hey, Little Buddy, who have you got here?" 

The entire group looked at Hyde with eager interest.  "I be Captain Steven Hyde of the good ship Buelah.  Who the blazes are you people?"

The guy with the cap reached over to shake his hand vigorously.  "Well, Buddy, my name is Skipper Fez.  Glad to meet you."

A slender fellow with a funny haircut stepped forward and introduced himself as Professor Eric Forman.  Ahh, he looks to be a right smart young fella, Hyde thought.  Best to keep me eye on that one.

Hyde was taken aback when a tall, voluptous redhead wearing a gold lame gown daintily shook his hand.  "My name is Donna Ginger Louise but I'm sure you recognize me from my films."  Damn, these women do dress mighty strange, he thought, while eyeing her bountiful cleavage.  Then he noticed how the scrawny professor guy possessively stepped up beside her.  Blast, Hyde thought, the bonny baggage is taken! 

From behind them peeked the black-haired wench who had found him.  "Hi, my name is Jackie Ann," she said while trying not to look at his hard, manly chest which was nicely displayed by his open shirt. Hyde caught himself staring at her because of her skimpy cut-off short-shorts and halter top.  Shiver me timbers, boyo, that's a fine lookin' lass.  Even sassier lookin' than yon redhead.

The gang of castaways began bombarding him with questions until he finally held up his hands and asked if he could please have a bit of grog to slake his thirst.

Jackie Ann immediately rushed into the nearest hut and brought him back a coconut shell filled with a delicious coconut/pineappley brew  After he finished, he told them as much as he could remember.

"Well, mates, tis like this.  I was carryin' some cargo, uh hemp, aye let's call it hemp, and suddenly me ship was overtaken by Her Majesty's vessels.   The scurvy naves boarded me ship, seized the cargo, and threw me overboard.  When I came to on yer beach, this lovely lassie was cradlin' me head.  I thought I must've died and gone to heaven," Captain Hyde said with a raised eyebrow and smirky grin.  Jackie Ann blushed again and twirled one of her puppy-dog tails around her finger.  I'd like to take you to heaven, you salty dog, she thought to herself.

"Okay, everyone, I think we need to let Captain Hyde get out of those wet clothes and get some sleep," Professor Eric said. 

With that, Gilligan Kelso and Skipper Fez helped the captain make his way to the storage hut.  Jackie Ann stood outside the doorway and took his wet clothes from him while trying hard not to peek.  "I'll have these washed and dried for you by the time you wake up, Captain!"

Hyde lay back on his cot and covered himself with a flimsy cotton sheet.  Ahh, he thought to himself, twould be grand to have that little black-haired wench lyin' beside me.   Those tiny pantaloons would be off faster than she could say yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!  With that pleasing thought, Cap'n Hyde drifted off to sleep.

Professor Eric and the others gathered around the fire to eat their evening meal of bananas, pineapple, and Jackie's special coconut soup.

"Okay, Professor, darling.  Please explain to us what an 18th century pirate is doing on our island.  Do you think they're making a movie somewhere around here?"  Donna Ginger asked with a sad sigh.  "I always wanted to be in a swashbuckler, you know."

"Yeah, Professor, what would a buckleswasher be doing here?" Gilligan Kelso asked while trying to sneak a peek down Jackie Ann's halter top.

"I can't account for it," the Professor said, "unless….that hurricane last week!  Perhaps it upset the space-time continuum and caused a wrinkle in time.  That must be it, Gilligan!  Our "pirate" must have jumped through time to get here.  If I could figure out how it happened, maybe I could find a way to move us back through time to just before we sailed on the Minnow.  Quick, Gilligan, get my coconut radio so we can see if another hurricane is headed this way!"

The castaways worked on different theories and ideas until they were all exhausted and headed off to bed.  All except Jackie Ann, that is.

I'll just peek in on our guest and make sure he's comfortable. He might be cold or need a drink or something.  Yeah, I'd like to give him something, she thought to herself.  Bad Jackie Ann!  Stop thinking about taking advantage of a poor, shipwrecked, extremely hot, and extremely naked sailor!  Jackie Ann tried to shake these thoughts from her head as she slipped quietly into the storage hut.  She set her coconut candle down on a nearby box and sat on the edge of the cot, looking at the gorgeous sailor who had landed right in her lap, so to speak.  The thin cotton sheet was pushed down to his waist and one of his bare legs was pushed out from under it.

Unbeknownst to Jackie Ann, Captain Hyde had awakened when he heard footsteps nearing his hut.  Through slitted eyes, he was able to see a small, but definitely feminine, shape move toward his bed.  He closed his eyes and feigned sleep.  When she sat on the cot next to him, he could smell the scent of coconuts and pineapple.  He felt a small, soft hand gently brush the curls back behind his ear and lightly finger his gold hoop earring.  With a sudden movement, Hyde had seized her wrist and rolled her onto the cot.  She was lying partially under him and breathing heavily and somewhat fearfully from the surprise of his move.

"Oh, my goodness.  Please don't hurt me.  I meant no harm to you, sir!" Jackie Ann said pleadingly.

Captain Hyde held her wrists pinned above her head with one arm and pinned her lower body by throwing his leg over her thighs.

"Well, Lassie, what have we here?  Do you be thinkin' to rob me of me fine golden earrings?" he said with a grin.  "Or perhaps ye had somethin' else in mind.  Although, I've no means to be payin' ye, except with me undyin' gratitude."

"Paying me?  What are you talking about?  And get off me right now!"  Jackie Ann said with an angry huff.

"Ahh, don't struggle, lass.  You've no need to play the coy maiden with me.  Tis obvious from your state of undress what yer callin' be.  I've always had a soft spot for the soiled doves, so there be no need to pretend to be the innocent,"  Hyde said while looking at her pert, saucy bosoms as they heaved with indignation.  Gad, she's a fine, feisty one, she is, he thought to himself.  She'll give me a good ride and then a soft, warm place to lay me head afterward.  I'd pay a full sack of dubloons for her, if I still had me treasure!

"Get off me, you arrogant son of a bitch.  I'm not a damn hooker," Jackie Ann said while using her hips to try to push him off her.  She suddenly froze when she felt something very hard and very big pushing against her thigh.  Oh, my gosh, either that's a really big blunderbuss or he's awfully glad to see me!

"Hooker?  I'll not be wantin' to fish with ye, darlin', but I do plan on goin' for a dive" he said before lowering his head and smothering her gasp of outrage with his lips.  As he slowly and gently kissed her, he felt her struggles subside until she was kissing him back hungrily.  As he released her wrists and felt her arms slide around his neck, he pulled at the bow which secured her halter top around her neck.  His hand slid gently down her waist until he reached the odd pantaloons she wore.  Hyde was unsure of how to remove this strange garment when Jackie Ann reached down, undid the buttons, and began to push them down her thighs.  He helped her with rather more force than was necessary but his patience was nearing the breaking point.  As he lay poised above her, she looked up at him with eager eyes and swollen, lucious lips, and said,

"HYDE!  WAKE UP!"

Hyde awoke with a start to hear Forman banging on his door and yelling at him.  "Come on, man,  it's time for the Price is Right!  You better get up and dressed before Fez and Jackie get here."

Hyde fell back on his cot with a groan.  Too late, he thought, I'm already up.

THE END.