Disclaimer – I don't own the following: Evangelion, MKR, Gundam Wing or any Gundam at all for that matter (it goes to the previous chapter, I simply forgot I think^^), lawn gnome or Pokemon.
Ohayo, minna-san^_^. Everything in this chapter SHOULD have been in the former, but I've simply overrated my abilities. So here you go finally. And Radire - thanks for the idea^_^. Oh and watch it – OOC!
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"Shinji?"
"Yes?"
"I'm bored."
"Gulp... I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away..."
"What's with him?"
"Perhaps he still remembers what happened the last time you were bored."
"Is this jealousy in your voice?" Asuka said sardonically.
"No. Why would I want you to kiss me?"
"I didn't mean that, you perverted bitch!!!" exclaimed Asuka with a red face.
"I knew that. It's what people call 'sarcasm'." Rei answered stoically.
"Why... I ought to...!" then suddenly Asuka remembered something. "Hey! That Felio fellow gave Baka-boy here a present that granted wishes! How about if we test it?"
"I believe his name was Ferio..."
"Who cares?" said Asuka. Then she went to Shinji. "OK Baka give me the..."
"I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away..."
"Hopeless..."
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"OK Gaghiel, this is what we'll do." Ascott, the Cephiro prodigy of Summoners, was now standing on a floating peace of rock in a center of a sandy desert and talking to herself. At least it looked that way. "You will now hear the voices of those evil, no-good sempai-into-kawaii statue-shifters..."
Something under the sand sweat dropped.
"And the next time you'll here it you shall destroy the source of it. Buahahaha (if you had ever watched "Dexter's Laboratory" imagine Mendark's laugh in a feminine version^_^ - author)!!!" another underground sweat drop.
"OK now pay atention!"
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"OK me first me first!!!" grinned the redhead. "I wish that this Zagato feller would commit suicide and I could go home to my fiancé Kaji!"
"I thought he was your guardian?" Shinji was obviously disorientated. Or he just wasn't happy enough with his life.
"It's your turn, BAKA!!!" said the German girl, glaring daggers at him. The boy was glad that she had forgotten her giant axe, because he believed that his magical barrier could hold on under her sword attack. "Make it a good one."
"I... I-I... I wish that we could go through all of this alive... and possibly in one piece."
"You call that a wish?! O my God, what are you, stupid?! Come on let's go!!!"
"But... Ayanami still hadn't got a wish!"
"Who cares?! What could she possibly wish for?!" Asuka ran ahead, towing Shinji behind. He barely managed to give the wishing thing to the other girl.
Rei glared blankly at the pink device.
"What could I possibly wish for?" she finally spoke softly.
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"I wish that this Zagato feller would commit suicide and I could go home to my fiancé Kaji!"
"I... I-I... I wish that we could go through all of this alive... and possibly in one piece."
"Those are their wishes?" Ferio was slightly disappointed. He got another pink thingy and was hearing to the words said on the other side, while walking through the desert. "I thought they were more original. I wonder what Rei wished for?"
He hadn't got time to find out. Suddenly the sand moved under him, and when he looked back saw enormous jaws erupt from the sand. He was inside the giant mouth before he could even think of running away.
"No Gaghiel!" he heard a thin girly voice scolding the beast from outside the mouth. "This wasn't one of them! Spit that out!"
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"So where to now, furball?" asked the redhead, glaring annoyingly at their weird guide. Suddenly a VERY big sword had fallen from the sky and plunged itself in the ground half a centimeter from her foot. She did the last thing expected: fainted.
Fortunately for her, and probably unfortunately for him, Shinji caught her before she hit the ground.
"Not bad," said Rei to the sky. "But you have to work on your aim."
Suddenly something fell on her and she unconsciously caught in her arms. Ferio also unconsciously threw his arms around her neck.
"Well hello there!" he exclaimed. Then Rei let go. "Ouch."
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"So you say that there is an ambush waiting for us? Thanks! Now we will be prepared and surely will win. Right Asuka?" Shinji finally noticed that the redhead wasn't with them.
"Asuka?"
"There she is." Ferio pointed to a dark sphere of negative energy that has gathered in the forest. "I think she is in a foul mood. We better stay away or we could get hurt."
"Now that's what I call bad mood." said Shinji in awe. "She even made trees loose their leaves!"
"Where did Rei go by the way? I haven't seen her since she threw me away. I'm heartbroken." said Ferio standing in a dramatic pose.
"Rei? I don't know, she was just... oh fuck..."
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"Are you crying?"
"Screw you, Wonder Girl!!! Sohryu Asuka Langley never cries!" yelled the German girl.
"I thought YOU were Asuka Langley?"
"Don't try to be dumber then you are, Ice Queen. I AM Asuka Langley!"
"Then why are you crying?"
"I'M NOT CRYING!!!" exclaimed Asuka, trying to slap Rei. The other girl caught her wristle. "Ouch! That hurts, you bitch! Let go of me!"
"It would seem you have problems." said the blue haired girl in her ever stoic voice. "I shall free you from them."
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"OK looks like we took the wrong way." Shinji stated. "This is the other side of the forest."
"Yes," Ferio agreed. "The desert side."
"Oh shit!"
"ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!!!"
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KLANG!!!
The swords of both girls clashed again. And again. And again. And a one more time. And...
"I've had it!!!" yelled Asuka. "What's wrong with you Wonder Girl?! Just because I played a joke...
"Your joke almost incinerated me." Rei answered calmly. "You must face the consequences."
"HYAAA!!!" with that Asuka cut of Rei's left arm, which the other girl used to protect her head. "No I will not!"
Suddenly the wound swelled and big flesh bubbles appeared. When they disappeared Rei had her arm back.
"Yes you will."
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KAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOMMM!!!
Ferio was watching stoically as Shinji emerged from them remnants of the monstrosity. The major part of it was now flying high or covering the desert. He also was covered in it.
"You're a genius Shinji!" he said, wiping the stuff out of his face. "I wouldn't think of that.
"Yeah... hehehe... thanks."
It really was pretty simple. Shinji was swallowed by the monster and then he activated his magical Wind powers. The pressure had blown the monster away.
"No time for this right now," stated Shinji. "We have to find the girls before something bad happens."
"Yeah, or something bad could happen to my little water goddess."
"You actually have a crush on Rei?" Shinji was quite shocked.
"Yes. I found out that we are very much the same." answered the taller boy. "You and Asuka however are like magnets - attracting opposites."
"What are you saying?" Shinji blushed. "She treats me like crap. How could she..."
"KYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"
They both turned to the direction of the scream but saw only a red blur. Then something almost choked Shinji to death. It was... Asuka, who was wildly clinging to his back with her hands on his neck. And the weirdest part was that she was trembling.
"See Shinji-kun? You can't get her off of you!" Ferio exclaimed cheerfully.
"Buzz off, milky!" she yelled. "And you Baka don't get any stupid ideas. Just do something to the monster."
"What monster?"
"That one!"
They stared into the forest. And...
"It's just Ayanami, Asuka-chan."
"I know that! She's the monster! Kill her! Annihilate her! Skin her alive! And if you call me Asuka-chan again I will rip your heart out and eat it on your very eyes."
"Right. Try to calm down a little."
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"Now listen, Israfel. Because two of our friends were slaughtered by those evil Magic Knights, you must go and avenge them. Got that?"
The beast with yin-yang-like head growled something that could be translated as 'why the fuck do I have to do this? Can't you move your little crappy ass?'. Of course Ascott was oblivious to that.
"Good. We have to ambush them good this time, so I will disguise you as a cute little animal OK?" no response. "Great! Let's go!"
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"Aaah! What a beautiful morning! Don't you think, Rei?"
"..."
"Yeah I love you too." Ferio was already on his way to Shinji's room. Once he was inside he couldn't help but laugh.
"It's not funny!"
"Yeah I bet. Let me guess - she went for a walk and forgot to untie you?"
"Bingo. Now could you do this?"
"Sure thing."
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Asuka was on clearing full of beautiful flowers. She was just walking and making a bouquet. You don't believe in this? You're right, I don't believe it either. She was cutting them down by her sword and swearing hard. And she even had a reason for it. That Baka and his albino friend wouldn't believe a word she was saying. They thought she was flipping her wig or something. She needed to cool of before she killed somebody.
"Pika!"
She swung around and saw an adorable chubby yellow rodent. It got brown stripes on it's back and red cheeks.
"Oooh! What a kawaii thing! Come here little fellow! Let your mama Asuka cuddle you!"
"Chu!" said the thing as it happily skipped it's way to her side. 'Close enough' she thought.
"HYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the dumb little mouse-like creature was cut in half. However, both of the halves shifted to giant beasts with round little heads.
"A trap!" yelped the redhead. Then the look of surprise was almost instantly replaced by a VERY evil grin. "WUNDERBAR!!!"
The rest is history.
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The last event had put Ascott in an attack of fury and Asuka in fairly good mood for the rest of the week. She was again her old self, bitchy and self-confident as ever. Only from now on she kept a distance from Rei.
They were still following Pen Pen on his bouncing way to the golems. They've got used to his constant 'waaarking', only Asuka always complained that he was hiding during the battles (as if he could help them win ^_~ - author). Finally he had leaded them to the foot of a volcano.
"Don't tell me that we have to go inside?" said Shinji when he looked up to the top.
"Frankly speaking I've anticipated that something like this would happen." said Asuka sarcastically. "Now it's SO cliché!"
Mean while Pen Pen had summoned some kind of a flying vehicle. It looked like a large fridge with little angle wings. They've got inside and sited themselves on the shelves. And it took of to the top of the fire mountain.
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"OK Sandalphon, you are my last resort. If you fail I will have my butt kicked by the Bit 'Z' and won't be able to avenge sempai. So put your heart to it, OK?"
"GROWL!!!"
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"Hey! Did you see that?! She vanished on my very eyes!"
"I think her Golem is summoning her." explained Rei.
"So it's her Golem? That would explain the volcano. She's a fire caster after all." realized the boy Knight.
"It maybe." Ferio agreed. "But enough of that for now. We have company I'm afraid."
Shinji also had seen the pink beast with green stripes (WHAT!?! DO you have a evidence that this isn't Sandalphon's true color^_^? - author) emerge from them the lava torrent.
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"A lion?"
"I am Apostle (it's a name ^_^ - author), a divine machine of Cephiro. Show me the strength of your spirit, and we shall share power."
""Why do you have such big ears?"
"So I can hear you better."
"Why do you have two pairs of eyes?"
"So I can see you better."
"Why do you have such big teeth?"
"Top split your throat if you don't get to the point!!!"
"Oh."
She suddenly heard something from behind the door. It sounded like a fight.
"What was that?"
"Probably your friends getting killed by some vile beast."
"WHAT!?! I've got to save them!"
"No you can't risk your life. You must save this World from destruction, not fall in a meaningless battle."
"But... but Shin... Baka... and..." suddenly Asuka remembered something. She now had a sly grin on her face. "HONO NO YA!!!"
Her spell had destroyed the gate that was between her and the rest. 'I've seen that film before' she thought to herself.
'It's just some stupid test. I'll show them!'
She fired another attack on the fridge-like ship that was standing near the monster. It exploded and the cold air had freezed the beast's skin which fell apart. It roared in pain and charged on her. But was stopped by some thing. A giant robot (OK, imagine simply unit-02 without binders and with a sword and fiery wings - author). The robot caught the beast by it's tail and head and crushed his spine (go see 'End of Evangelion': Asuka did the same thing to one of the series Eva ^_^ - author). The fight was over.
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"I know it's stupid." the robot agreed. "But it's the standard procedure. Most of the Knights aren't very intelligent so the test suits them just fine."
"Whatever. Now can we kill the bastard and go home?"
"I'm sorry, but you have find mine two colleagues. We could probably defeat him ourselves but as I said already...
"Standard procedure."
"Right. I'll be seeing ya!" and the robot Apostle disappeared.
"Ja ne."
"Great job Asuka." cheered Shinji.
"How are we going to get down without the vehicle?" asked them Rei.
"Oh shit."
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That's all for now. Review please ^_^. BTW -if there will be a next chapter, it will contain the end of Ascott's case! Se ya!
