Chapter 6 - Take My Hand

".but I won't have you hating me in a few months or even years, because you gave all of your life up to be with me. Sooner or later you will realize that it was a mistake and that I am not really worth it, because you have grown tired of hiding. And then you won't be able to go back, because you will have run away with the enemy, you will yourself be one of them."

This wasn't at all happening as he had planned it. Irritated he ruffled his hair. He was doing the right thing and she was dissuading him, he couldn't help but smirk as little. That was definitely his girl.

"I can't go back to anything, since I left. How could I stay with the people who took you away from me, because I was stupid enough to think they honestly were my friends? As for my family, I have none left, apart from you."

She looked up at him sadly and he nearly felt guilty for even thinking about leaving her, when she so obviously needed him. He felt torn, his heart told him to never let her go whereas his mind was arguing that he had to do what was best for her, which against all reason seemed to be staying with her. His feelings were all contradicting themselves and he felt helpless and vulnerable.

This was one of a few very rare moments in his life where he couldn't weigh the pros and cons and then decide what plan of action to follow. This was just like when he had met her and had thrown all principles overboard to be with her, when he had allowed himself to get attached emotionally, when he had signed a deal with the CIA to be able to be with her, when he had decided to go back to see her for one more time.

Logic had always failed him when it had come down to her, and it had always led to better things in the end, so what exactly told him that he should leave he wondered. His mind; and what had that been good for until now, for nothing that had made him happy as far as he could see.

"You left."

"Yes, and so can you!"

She was begging now, and he thought that he had never seen her begging for anything until today. He could just give in now, let her decide and take the responsibility for what they had done later on, when she would come to her senses.

But of course she didn't make it that easy for him, telling him that he had to decide and that she just wished he could forget and start anew and that he should trust her to be able to cope. She was asking much and he saw that she knew it, seeing the insecurity written all over her face. She didn't really seem to know how far she could push her pleas or how far she could push him. He guessed he looked quite unstable for his usual standards, and he could feel her doubtful, nervous, even a bit scared look.

It felt so difficult to really open up to someone again after two years of ignoring and denying. He do wanted to trust her again, wanted to start a new life with her, wanted to forget, but he was at loss as to how to do any of these things. He had learned being human, acting human from her, but he had been far from the end of the lessons, when he had left. He knew how to love unconditionally, but not how to forgive, forget and move on without a condition.

"Show me how." he asked silently.

"Take my hand." she replied softly and so he did.

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The End.

I love Emily for encouraging me to make more out of this than a one chapter piece. So I decided to dedicate 'Rise and Fall' to you.