A/N: Well, here's another one, hope you like it, pls review! ;)
Chapter Three
The next morning, Harry woke up rather grumpily. He had another dream about Voldemort torturing his unfaithful Death Eaters again. Clutching his flaming scar, he went down to the Great Hall with Ron for breakfast.
"Are you sure you're OK?" asked Ron for the millionth time. He was watching Harry anxiously.
"Yeah, I am." Harry grunted. The truth was the scar was hurting so bad that he could not see properly, but he was not about to worry his friends.
They met Hermione at the Gryffindor table and ate without saying too much. Then they went for their first lesson which was, to their disgust, Potions.
The three arrived early at the dungeons and sat quietly, dreading for the Slytherins and the Potions Master's arrivals. Just as Harry was about to fall asleep- he did not had much these days- Snape entered with his fellow Slytherins, followed by the other Gryffindors.
"Granger, Potter and Weasley eager to start their Potions lesson? I'd never thought I'll live to see that day." Snape sneered as he saw Harry and the other two. The other Slytherins snickered and Hermione rolled her eyes. Harry could have warned her not to; he was too experienced with Snape's sharp eyes.
"Granger! You think I am saying nonsense, do you?" Snape snarled as the other students took their place. Harry saw Ron glaring at Snape.
Hermione jumped and looked back at Snape. "No, sir."
"Ten points from Gryffindor- you should know better than lying, Miss Know- It-All."
And so the class begun with Snape taking points from Gryffindor whenever he could manage, mocking Neville's works whenever he got the chance and sneering at Harry whenever he caught his eyes. How can a horrible person like this be loyal to our side? Thought Harry as Snape took twenty points from Gryffindor because Ron coughed loudly as he walked past. Why does Dumbledore trust a man like him? Is he really on our side?
These thoughts swarmed in Harry's mind even when he was in Transfiguration with McGonagall. He was thinking as hard as ever when a stern voice suddenly rang, "Potter, what kind of usual characteristics does an Animagi usually has?"
Harry blinked several times as Hermione hissed the answers beside him. "I don't know, Professor." He said blankly.
By the end of the first day, Harry was a bit moody. The homework was already piling up in the first day and Harry was dreading tomorrow, which was a Thursday and he would be having Occlumency with Snape. Ever since his trip in the Pensive, he had never faced Snape alone again- what he planned to do with Harry was unimaginable.
"Hermione, please can I borrow your essay on Charms?" Ron pleaded for the third time.
They were in the common room trying to finish their mountains of homework. Harry was tackling a report for McGonagall while Ron and Hermione were bickering at each other about the Charms essay.
"No, Ron." Hermione raised her eyebrows in a very McGonagallish way." You know perfectly how to do it- just think and be patient."
Ron groaned and threw his Charms book on the floor. "George and Fred were right to leave this place- it's a nightmare."
Harry sighed and sat back on his chair. He would have a rest first, he thought tiredly. Looking around his fellow Gryffindor who were all either working with their heads buried in books or groaning at the homework, he smiled at himself, concluding that he would never think about leaving Hogwarts, not even if Snape cursed him or he was banned from Quidditch. This was his home, his real home, where he could find happiness only in here. Grinning, he sat up straight to finish his report when his eyes traveled to the fireplace. An ice was dropped into his stomach as he remembered his last year when Sirius had risked everything to visit him in the fire. All happiness drained out of him, he forced himself to concentrate on the work to be done as Ron and Hermione snapped at each other.
* * *
Severus sat behind his desk, scribbling frantically on a piece of parchment. He was finishing his report on Voldemort's latest moves for Dumbledore. Though he was tired, exhausted and annoyed, he wanted to get this over with. Defeating Voldemort was the only ambition for him and he would not have lived that long, as least sanely, if he did not keep himself towards the target. It was the only thing he could hang on, the only reason he saw to live. After all, he thought dully, no one would miss him or feel sympathy even if he suddenly disappeared or died. The Gryffindor students will probably celebrate till midnight and Potter may dance in the Slytherin Tower.
Putting a conclusion on the report, he sat back in his chair and looked around. The office was old and battered, stating its ancient age. On top of the cupboard which held his precious Potions, stood his Pensive. He stared at it for a moment and before he could stop himself, a single tear rolled down his pale cheek. He was so lonely, too lonely for years, as he remembered his childhood stored in the Pensive. He did not and would not admit it but he longed for love, longed for care through all those years. Humiliation and insults were what he got in return, and he had given up a long time ago to seek any close relationship within mankind. Everyday he walked through his life hollowly, not understanding what he was doing but just completing it. He never complained- he considered this as a part of life, for men had said, life is not fair. But it did not mean that he was not hurt- after all those years and all those incidents he had been through, he was hurt thoroughly and forgot what was it like to be happy and feel warm. He often broke down and cried alone, when he could not stand it anymore. He hated crying, it was a sign of cowardice, but how could he helped it? He did not know how to express his feelings and every time he looked in the Pensive, only pathetic memories swirled in front of him. He let another tear prickle down and suddenly stood up. Severus you coward! You cannot cry! You will not cry! You will survive, you will continue on your suffering life with no cowardice! A sharp voice scolded himself inside his head. He shook himself mentally and dried his face with his sleeve. He was about to take the report out to Dumbledore when someone knocked the door.
"Who's it?" he snarled in his usual cold self.
A familiar voice ranged behind the other side of the door.
"Severus, forgive me to disturb you, but do you mind me coming in?" It was Dumbledore.
Trust that old man to approach when he was breaking up, Severus thought grimly. He opened the door and looked into the face of the wise old wizard. Dumbledore entered and looked around. "Please do sit, Headmaster." Severus offered a chair in front of his desk.
He sat down opposite to Dumbledore. "May I help you, sir?"
Dumbledore did not answer at once. He looked as his clear blue eyes twinkled. Severus was too familiar to those X-Ray-like eyes.
"My boy, there is nothing you can help me, though I would like to ask you the same question." Dumbledore focused on Severus solemn face. His expression was serious and full with sympathy. For the first time, Severus felt a little but warmer than before. A bit. Severus was a private person and was keen on keeping everything towards himself, but he was always a little more opened to Dumbledore. Perhaps it was because he knew Dumbledore really cared, the only person who really cared, but not like his fellow Death-Eaters, who wore a look of concern when facing him but laughed behind his back. Trying to tear his mind away from the disgusting Death Eaters, he looked down to his desk. The report was still lying on the desk.
"I'm waiting, Severus." The old man brought him back to reality with his gentle tone.
Severus looked up at him and stammered, "I." What would he tell Dumbledore? That he was lonely? That he was tired and wanted out? That he, the cold and hollow Potions Master, would simply love to cry in his arms, cry until the end of the world and not worrying about anything else?
"I am fine, Headmaster, thanks for asking." He concluded, not meeting Dumbledore's eyes. How he knew the Headmaster would see right through him, but he did not care. He was not going to admit the thoughts in his mind.
Dumbledore smiled gently- he always did- and asked without any attempt of pushing the subject in his tone, "Is there anything you would like to tell me? Anything at all, Severus boy."
Severus forced back the threatening tears in his eyes- don't you dare cry again, Severus you disgrace! -and replied firmly as if he was trying to convince himself, "No, sir, there isn't."
Dumbledore nodded and stood up. "Very well, Severus. Just remember- whenever you come across the path you are confused or troubled with- simply find the man you trust and I believe he will help you with all his everything."
Severus too, nodded and knew Dumbledore was referring to himself. He stood up and handed the report to Dumbledore.
"Jolly heavens, Severus, I see the Death Eaters are going to be pretty busy these days." Dumbedore commented as he flipped through the pages. "Very well, Severus, thank you for the hard work." Dumbledore smiled slightly at Severus who was looking at him. Dumbledore wished him a goodnight and started to make his exit out of the chamber when Severus blurted out, "Headmaster?"
Dumbledore turned and looked back at him.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling more than ever, "You are mostly welcome, my boy. I have faith in you."
With that, he stepped out, carrying Severus's sorrows with him as he left.
* * *
"Round them up, everyone! C'mon, it's not so hard!" Hagrid shouted to the bewildered class.
It was the next morning and Harry was in his first lesson, Care of Magical Creatures. Hagrid was had set some Chandlers out on the ground and ordered the class to round them up.
"Ouch! That stupid dog face!" Ron groaned as one of the Chandlers sank sharp teeth in his fingers.
Harry looked around and swallowed. The Chandlers were big dog-like animals with flaming orange fur and red streaks. The eyes were brown and amber but the thing Harry could not miss was their sharp, pointed teeth. According to Hagrid, these "fluffy" animals were used to hunt and guard. In Harry's and Ron's opinions, though, kicking them in the shins was the best thing to do- they had already received scratches, cuts and bites from the "fluffy" animals.
Draco Malfoy's patience was clearly off the hook. He stood aside and crossed his arms, not doing anything but wearing a bored expression on the pale, drawling face. Hagrid spotted him and hesitated for a moment but walked towards Malfoy.
"Malfoy, I don't want ter see you doin' nothin'. Go on, grab one of the Chandlers." He growled.
Not very far away, Harry stopped trying to struggle an extra large Chandler back into the wooden crate. Knowing perfectly that Malfoy would not obey Hagrid, he edged more towards them and listened in case he needed to help the gamekeeper.
"And why should I do that?" Malfoy raised his eyebrows in a very Snapelish way.
Hagrid's expression darkened; Harry could tell he was trying to handle it.
"You come ter Hogwarts ter learn, young man, and it is my responsibility to make sure of that. And while yer at here, you have every need to follow a professor's instructions."
All right, Hagrid! Harry cheered silently. It was not like Hagrid to act calm when dealing with Malfoy in lessons. Harry caught Ron's eye and knew he had been listening, too. They grinned at each other.
Malfoy sneered at Hagrid and replied coldly, not even looking at the teacher, "I take instructions from professors who are at least human, myself."
Ron exploded at that point and lunged at Malfoy. Harry tried to pull Ron back but Ron was already punching Malfoy hard on the face. Hagrid was trying to pull the pair apart and the whole class was staring at them, Hermione screaming for stop.
Just as Harry was about to explode himself, a familiar voice rang from behind. Too familiar to Harry, so he recognized Snape even before turning.
"Weasley! Get off right now!" Harry turned to see Snape shouting and closing on them. His eyes were glittering dangerously and his hair was flying beside him as he walked. Harry tried to come up of a reason not to strangle Snape right on the spot- of all teachers, why was it Snape?
Ron and Malfoy froze, both on the floor, Malfoy wand-raised with Ron on top of him, his arm gesturing a punch. Hagrid's face was pale and he pulled Ron to his feet before he could say anything.
Snape reached them as Malfoy stood up, glaring at Ron who was snarling at him, too.
"Explain, please." Snape said shortly, looking straight at Hagrid. Hagrid looked like a wrecked nerve and he managed to reply, rather calmly too, to Harry and Hermione's surprise, "Malfoy here just disturbed my lesson and Ron lost his nerve. It isn't his entire fault, Professor, Malfoy was insulting."
Snape snorted as he doubt everything and turned to Ron and Malfoy. "Fifty points from Gryffindor and detention, Weasley. Mr Malfoy- more careful next time." With that, he walked back towards the castle, smirking to himself.
* * *
"I am going to kill Malfoy for real next time!" Ron shouted as the three finished dinner and walked back to the Gryffindor Tower. It was evening that night but they still could not forget Snape's unfair and Malfoy's smirk matching his teacher's after he heard Snape's judgment.
Hermione sighed and replied as they entered the Tower, "Piglissum. You know, Ron, you must control your temper these days. You're always falling for Malfoy's desires to get you in trouble and that is exactly what Snape and Malfoy wants!"
"Humph." Ron grunted. "I'm heading for the stupid detention; wait in the common room guys." With that he grunted once more and walked away.
Hermione turned to Harry. "Well?"
"I have Occlumency." Harry rolled his eyes.
"Good luck, then." Hermione called as she disappeared inside the common room.
Harry sighed and took as much time as he could all the way to Snape' office. Facing Snape alone was the last thing he wanted to do.
He turned around the corner and bumped into a person.
"Oh!" the object dropped her books in surprise.
Harry looked up, muttering a sorry. Then his heart gave a leapt- he had bumped into Cho.
Cho looked at him with surprise too, and then blushed.
"Er- sorry." Harry said awkwardly. Then he bent to help her gather the books. Handing the stack back into her hands, Cho smiled and said, "It's okay- where are you going?"
"To er, Snape's office. I need to find him for- for something." Why was he so nervous? He did not feel the way for her like he did before anymore, so why, just why he could not even get the words out right?
"Oh, I see."
They stood there, staring at each other for a moment. Then Harry said awkwardly, "I got the, um, letter you sent me. Thanks."
Cho nodded and there was an even more awkward pause.
"Well-" Cho started.
"So-" Harry began.
They looked at each other for a moment then grinned. "See you around, Harry. " Cho smiled at him.
"Yeah, you too." Harry watched her as she disappeared around the corner.
Then, feeling that something had finally gone right, Harry approached Snape's chamber and knocked the door.
* * *
Severus scowled angrily at the door. Potter was late for his first lesson and he had been waiting for him. Lateness is a sign of disrespect, he thought haughtily, cooking up a way to cicritize his hated student. Then he sat back on his chair, pausing for a moment. Why do I always have to make Potter angry? He wondered for just a second. Then he came up with an answer. Because that is my destiny, my natural job, he answered himself, chuckling. Before he could think more, though, someone knocked the door and Potter made his entrance.
"You're late, Potter. And shut that door." Severus put on his best sneer.
Potter shut the door harder than he would have but Severus let it pass.
"Sit."
"So, Potter, do you by any luck recall what Occlumency is which I doubt?" Severus smirked. He loved to cicritize Potter whenever he could; like he said, it was his natural.
Potter looked up at him with a hint of hatred in his eyes- Severus was familiar to that expression; it was the expression wore by his fellow Death Eaters and his old schoolmates whenever they spoke to him.
"Yes."
"Yes, sir." added Potter as Severus raised his eyebrows. He could tell Potter was boiling, and he was enjoying every moment of it.
Severus sat back on his chair and asked casually, "Then you still recall the purpose of you achieving Occlumency?"
"Yes, sir."
"Very well, then. I believe you will work hard on it this time- you do not want another friend of yours suffering from your laziness and hero act, do you?" said Severus softly. He knew Potter would understand he was talking about Black- Severus was not exactly glad that he was dead, but he was not sympathy, either.
Potter glared straight into his eyes as Severus grinned horribly. It was one of Severus favourite things to do- incensing Potter and amusing himself.
"Well, let's get started. Up, Potter."
Potter stood up face to face with Severus.
"On three- one, two, three- Legilimens!"
Severus watched as the boy who lived struggle and suddenly in a flash, he started to break in his memories.Potter talking to a snake at a zoo.Potter being trapped inside a bathroom by a fat boy and his gang.Potter's hair being cut out wholly by a fussing women.
"Up, Potter!" Severus shouted at the boy lying on the floor. He was suppressing a laugh desperately- that balding head of Potter's was hysterical.
Potter stood up, his face burning and panted, "Did you- you saw everything, sir?" Severus could not help it. He let his lips curl to a Voldemort-like smile and nodded.
"Now try again! You must work more hard, Potter!"
"Legilimens!"
Once more, he saw Potter being chased by a laughing gang.Potter sitting on a roof suddenly.then the scene changed completely. There was Potter, running towards an ancient arch hanging a veil, stretching out his arms as he ran. A man was falling backwards to the archway.he vanished as Potter screamed.
"SIRIUS!" Potter's bellow brought Severus back to his office suddenly. He looked sharply to the boy, panting hard on the floor.
"What do you think you are doing, Potter?" Severus shouted in fury. That idiot boy, that fool.
Potter turned away from him. He saw him raising his sleeve and wiping his face, but he could not tell whether he was crying.
Severus had no patient for this. "Up, Potter, and do not shout again! Try harder!"
"I am trying hard!" Potter suddenly turned and half-shouted. Severus was a little startled to see his face gleaming with tears. Then he recovered.
"I will not be spoken to like that!" he spat angrily. "Do you think shouting and screaming in memories will bring your godfather back? Do you think unleashing your memories and weakness to your enemy will make your godfather rebirth? Do you-"
"You don't know what it's like, sir!" Potter stood up and practically yelled at him. "You don't know what it's like to lose the person you love! You have no idea how hard it is, SIR!"
Severus was stunned for a moment. Shaking with anger, his voice became no more than a whisper, "And why would I not know?"
"Because you have no love! Because all you want is- is-"Potter stopped uncertainly.
"Is what?"
"You don't even like teaching! You are hollow and you have no warmth inside! You don't even know what love is! So shut up about Sirius, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE!"
The last word echoed through Severus ears. He could not take it- he would not take it- he wanted to kill Potter right on the spot-
"Get out, get OUT!" Severus bellowed as he pushed Potter out of his way. He flung open the door and threw Potter out of his office. Then, slamming the door, he dropped on the floor leaning against the door, covering his face with his hands as tears flooded them both.
Little did he know that the person who had just broken him was leaning against the same door as him, doing and feeling exactly the same.
Chapter Three
The next morning, Harry woke up rather grumpily. He had another dream about Voldemort torturing his unfaithful Death Eaters again. Clutching his flaming scar, he went down to the Great Hall with Ron for breakfast.
"Are you sure you're OK?" asked Ron for the millionth time. He was watching Harry anxiously.
"Yeah, I am." Harry grunted. The truth was the scar was hurting so bad that he could not see properly, but he was not about to worry his friends.
They met Hermione at the Gryffindor table and ate without saying too much. Then they went for their first lesson which was, to their disgust, Potions.
The three arrived early at the dungeons and sat quietly, dreading for the Slytherins and the Potions Master's arrivals. Just as Harry was about to fall asleep- he did not had much these days- Snape entered with his fellow Slytherins, followed by the other Gryffindors.
"Granger, Potter and Weasley eager to start their Potions lesson? I'd never thought I'll live to see that day." Snape sneered as he saw Harry and the other two. The other Slytherins snickered and Hermione rolled her eyes. Harry could have warned her not to; he was too experienced with Snape's sharp eyes.
"Granger! You think I am saying nonsense, do you?" Snape snarled as the other students took their place. Harry saw Ron glaring at Snape.
Hermione jumped and looked back at Snape. "No, sir."
"Ten points from Gryffindor- you should know better than lying, Miss Know- It-All."
And so the class begun with Snape taking points from Gryffindor whenever he could manage, mocking Neville's works whenever he got the chance and sneering at Harry whenever he caught his eyes. How can a horrible person like this be loyal to our side? Thought Harry as Snape took twenty points from Gryffindor because Ron coughed loudly as he walked past. Why does Dumbledore trust a man like him? Is he really on our side?
These thoughts swarmed in Harry's mind even when he was in Transfiguration with McGonagall. He was thinking as hard as ever when a stern voice suddenly rang, "Potter, what kind of usual characteristics does an Animagi usually has?"
Harry blinked several times as Hermione hissed the answers beside him. "I don't know, Professor." He said blankly.
By the end of the first day, Harry was a bit moody. The homework was already piling up in the first day and Harry was dreading tomorrow, which was a Thursday and he would be having Occlumency with Snape. Ever since his trip in the Pensive, he had never faced Snape alone again- what he planned to do with Harry was unimaginable.
"Hermione, please can I borrow your essay on Charms?" Ron pleaded for the third time.
They were in the common room trying to finish their mountains of homework. Harry was tackling a report for McGonagall while Ron and Hermione were bickering at each other about the Charms essay.
"No, Ron." Hermione raised her eyebrows in a very McGonagallish way." You know perfectly how to do it- just think and be patient."
Ron groaned and threw his Charms book on the floor. "George and Fred were right to leave this place- it's a nightmare."
Harry sighed and sat back on his chair. He would have a rest first, he thought tiredly. Looking around his fellow Gryffindor who were all either working with their heads buried in books or groaning at the homework, he smiled at himself, concluding that he would never think about leaving Hogwarts, not even if Snape cursed him or he was banned from Quidditch. This was his home, his real home, where he could find happiness only in here. Grinning, he sat up straight to finish his report when his eyes traveled to the fireplace. An ice was dropped into his stomach as he remembered his last year when Sirius had risked everything to visit him in the fire. All happiness drained out of him, he forced himself to concentrate on the work to be done as Ron and Hermione snapped at each other.
* * *
Severus sat behind his desk, scribbling frantically on a piece of parchment. He was finishing his report on Voldemort's latest moves for Dumbledore. Though he was tired, exhausted and annoyed, he wanted to get this over with. Defeating Voldemort was the only ambition for him and he would not have lived that long, as least sanely, if he did not keep himself towards the target. It was the only thing he could hang on, the only reason he saw to live. After all, he thought dully, no one would miss him or feel sympathy even if he suddenly disappeared or died. The Gryffindor students will probably celebrate till midnight and Potter may dance in the Slytherin Tower.
Putting a conclusion on the report, he sat back in his chair and looked around. The office was old and battered, stating its ancient age. On top of the cupboard which held his precious Potions, stood his Pensive. He stared at it for a moment and before he could stop himself, a single tear rolled down his pale cheek. He was so lonely, too lonely for years, as he remembered his childhood stored in the Pensive. He did not and would not admit it but he longed for love, longed for care through all those years. Humiliation and insults were what he got in return, and he had given up a long time ago to seek any close relationship within mankind. Everyday he walked through his life hollowly, not understanding what he was doing but just completing it. He never complained- he considered this as a part of life, for men had said, life is not fair. But it did not mean that he was not hurt- after all those years and all those incidents he had been through, he was hurt thoroughly and forgot what was it like to be happy and feel warm. He often broke down and cried alone, when he could not stand it anymore. He hated crying, it was a sign of cowardice, but how could he helped it? He did not know how to express his feelings and every time he looked in the Pensive, only pathetic memories swirled in front of him. He let another tear prickle down and suddenly stood up. Severus you coward! You cannot cry! You will not cry! You will survive, you will continue on your suffering life with no cowardice! A sharp voice scolded himself inside his head. He shook himself mentally and dried his face with his sleeve. He was about to take the report out to Dumbledore when someone knocked the door.
"Who's it?" he snarled in his usual cold self.
A familiar voice ranged behind the other side of the door.
"Severus, forgive me to disturb you, but do you mind me coming in?" It was Dumbledore.
Trust that old man to approach when he was breaking up, Severus thought grimly. He opened the door and looked into the face of the wise old wizard. Dumbledore entered and looked around. "Please do sit, Headmaster." Severus offered a chair in front of his desk.
He sat down opposite to Dumbledore. "May I help you, sir?"
Dumbledore did not answer at once. He looked as his clear blue eyes twinkled. Severus was too familiar to those X-Ray-like eyes.
"My boy, there is nothing you can help me, though I would like to ask you the same question." Dumbledore focused on Severus solemn face. His expression was serious and full with sympathy. For the first time, Severus felt a little but warmer than before. A bit. Severus was a private person and was keen on keeping everything towards himself, but he was always a little more opened to Dumbledore. Perhaps it was because he knew Dumbledore really cared, the only person who really cared, but not like his fellow Death-Eaters, who wore a look of concern when facing him but laughed behind his back. Trying to tear his mind away from the disgusting Death Eaters, he looked down to his desk. The report was still lying on the desk.
"I'm waiting, Severus." The old man brought him back to reality with his gentle tone.
Severus looked up at him and stammered, "I." What would he tell Dumbledore? That he was lonely? That he was tired and wanted out? That he, the cold and hollow Potions Master, would simply love to cry in his arms, cry until the end of the world and not worrying about anything else?
"I am fine, Headmaster, thanks for asking." He concluded, not meeting Dumbledore's eyes. How he knew the Headmaster would see right through him, but he did not care. He was not going to admit the thoughts in his mind.
Dumbledore smiled gently- he always did- and asked without any attempt of pushing the subject in his tone, "Is there anything you would like to tell me? Anything at all, Severus boy."
Severus forced back the threatening tears in his eyes- don't you dare cry again, Severus you disgrace! -and replied firmly as if he was trying to convince himself, "No, sir, there isn't."
Dumbledore nodded and stood up. "Very well, Severus. Just remember- whenever you come across the path you are confused or troubled with- simply find the man you trust and I believe he will help you with all his everything."
Severus too, nodded and knew Dumbledore was referring to himself. He stood up and handed the report to Dumbledore.
"Jolly heavens, Severus, I see the Death Eaters are going to be pretty busy these days." Dumbedore commented as he flipped through the pages. "Very well, Severus, thank you for the hard work." Dumbledore smiled slightly at Severus who was looking at him. Dumbledore wished him a goodnight and started to make his exit out of the chamber when Severus blurted out, "Headmaster?"
Dumbledore turned and looked back at him.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling more than ever, "You are mostly welcome, my boy. I have faith in you."
With that, he stepped out, carrying Severus's sorrows with him as he left.
* * *
"Round them up, everyone! C'mon, it's not so hard!" Hagrid shouted to the bewildered class.
It was the next morning and Harry was in his first lesson, Care of Magical Creatures. Hagrid was had set some Chandlers out on the ground and ordered the class to round them up.
"Ouch! That stupid dog face!" Ron groaned as one of the Chandlers sank sharp teeth in his fingers.
Harry looked around and swallowed. The Chandlers were big dog-like animals with flaming orange fur and red streaks. The eyes were brown and amber but the thing Harry could not miss was their sharp, pointed teeth. According to Hagrid, these "fluffy" animals were used to hunt and guard. In Harry's and Ron's opinions, though, kicking them in the shins was the best thing to do- they had already received scratches, cuts and bites from the "fluffy" animals.
Draco Malfoy's patience was clearly off the hook. He stood aside and crossed his arms, not doing anything but wearing a bored expression on the pale, drawling face. Hagrid spotted him and hesitated for a moment but walked towards Malfoy.
"Malfoy, I don't want ter see you doin' nothin'. Go on, grab one of the Chandlers." He growled.
Not very far away, Harry stopped trying to struggle an extra large Chandler back into the wooden crate. Knowing perfectly that Malfoy would not obey Hagrid, he edged more towards them and listened in case he needed to help the gamekeeper.
"And why should I do that?" Malfoy raised his eyebrows in a very Snapelish way.
Hagrid's expression darkened; Harry could tell he was trying to handle it.
"You come ter Hogwarts ter learn, young man, and it is my responsibility to make sure of that. And while yer at here, you have every need to follow a professor's instructions."
All right, Hagrid! Harry cheered silently. It was not like Hagrid to act calm when dealing with Malfoy in lessons. Harry caught Ron's eye and knew he had been listening, too. They grinned at each other.
Malfoy sneered at Hagrid and replied coldly, not even looking at the teacher, "I take instructions from professors who are at least human, myself."
Ron exploded at that point and lunged at Malfoy. Harry tried to pull Ron back but Ron was already punching Malfoy hard on the face. Hagrid was trying to pull the pair apart and the whole class was staring at them, Hermione screaming for stop.
Just as Harry was about to explode himself, a familiar voice rang from behind. Too familiar to Harry, so he recognized Snape even before turning.
"Weasley! Get off right now!" Harry turned to see Snape shouting and closing on them. His eyes were glittering dangerously and his hair was flying beside him as he walked. Harry tried to come up of a reason not to strangle Snape right on the spot- of all teachers, why was it Snape?
Ron and Malfoy froze, both on the floor, Malfoy wand-raised with Ron on top of him, his arm gesturing a punch. Hagrid's face was pale and he pulled Ron to his feet before he could say anything.
Snape reached them as Malfoy stood up, glaring at Ron who was snarling at him, too.
"Explain, please." Snape said shortly, looking straight at Hagrid. Hagrid looked like a wrecked nerve and he managed to reply, rather calmly too, to Harry and Hermione's surprise, "Malfoy here just disturbed my lesson and Ron lost his nerve. It isn't his entire fault, Professor, Malfoy was insulting."
Snape snorted as he doubt everything and turned to Ron and Malfoy. "Fifty points from Gryffindor and detention, Weasley. Mr Malfoy- more careful next time." With that, he walked back towards the castle, smirking to himself.
* * *
"I am going to kill Malfoy for real next time!" Ron shouted as the three finished dinner and walked back to the Gryffindor Tower. It was evening that night but they still could not forget Snape's unfair and Malfoy's smirk matching his teacher's after he heard Snape's judgment.
Hermione sighed and replied as they entered the Tower, "Piglissum. You know, Ron, you must control your temper these days. You're always falling for Malfoy's desires to get you in trouble and that is exactly what Snape and Malfoy wants!"
"Humph." Ron grunted. "I'm heading for the stupid detention; wait in the common room guys." With that he grunted once more and walked away.
Hermione turned to Harry. "Well?"
"I have Occlumency." Harry rolled his eyes.
"Good luck, then." Hermione called as she disappeared inside the common room.
Harry sighed and took as much time as he could all the way to Snape' office. Facing Snape alone was the last thing he wanted to do.
He turned around the corner and bumped into a person.
"Oh!" the object dropped her books in surprise.
Harry looked up, muttering a sorry. Then his heart gave a leapt- he had bumped into Cho.
Cho looked at him with surprise too, and then blushed.
"Er- sorry." Harry said awkwardly. Then he bent to help her gather the books. Handing the stack back into her hands, Cho smiled and said, "It's okay- where are you going?"
"To er, Snape's office. I need to find him for- for something." Why was he so nervous? He did not feel the way for her like he did before anymore, so why, just why he could not even get the words out right?
"Oh, I see."
They stood there, staring at each other for a moment. Then Harry said awkwardly, "I got the, um, letter you sent me. Thanks."
Cho nodded and there was an even more awkward pause.
"Well-" Cho started.
"So-" Harry began.
They looked at each other for a moment then grinned. "See you around, Harry. " Cho smiled at him.
"Yeah, you too." Harry watched her as she disappeared around the corner.
Then, feeling that something had finally gone right, Harry approached Snape's chamber and knocked the door.
* * *
Severus scowled angrily at the door. Potter was late for his first lesson and he had been waiting for him. Lateness is a sign of disrespect, he thought haughtily, cooking up a way to cicritize his hated student. Then he sat back on his chair, pausing for a moment. Why do I always have to make Potter angry? He wondered for just a second. Then he came up with an answer. Because that is my destiny, my natural job, he answered himself, chuckling. Before he could think more, though, someone knocked the door and Potter made his entrance.
"You're late, Potter. And shut that door." Severus put on his best sneer.
Potter shut the door harder than he would have but Severus let it pass.
"Sit."
"So, Potter, do you by any luck recall what Occlumency is which I doubt?" Severus smirked. He loved to cicritize Potter whenever he could; like he said, it was his natural.
Potter looked up at him with a hint of hatred in his eyes- Severus was familiar to that expression; it was the expression wore by his fellow Death Eaters and his old schoolmates whenever they spoke to him.
"Yes."
"Yes, sir." added Potter as Severus raised his eyebrows. He could tell Potter was boiling, and he was enjoying every moment of it.
Severus sat back on his chair and asked casually, "Then you still recall the purpose of you achieving Occlumency?"
"Yes, sir."
"Very well, then. I believe you will work hard on it this time- you do not want another friend of yours suffering from your laziness and hero act, do you?" said Severus softly. He knew Potter would understand he was talking about Black- Severus was not exactly glad that he was dead, but he was not sympathy, either.
Potter glared straight into his eyes as Severus grinned horribly. It was one of Severus favourite things to do- incensing Potter and amusing himself.
"Well, let's get started. Up, Potter."
Potter stood up face to face with Severus.
"On three- one, two, three- Legilimens!"
Severus watched as the boy who lived struggle and suddenly in a flash, he started to break in his memories.Potter talking to a snake at a zoo.Potter being trapped inside a bathroom by a fat boy and his gang.Potter's hair being cut out wholly by a fussing women.
"Up, Potter!" Severus shouted at the boy lying on the floor. He was suppressing a laugh desperately- that balding head of Potter's was hysterical.
Potter stood up, his face burning and panted, "Did you- you saw everything, sir?" Severus could not help it. He let his lips curl to a Voldemort-like smile and nodded.
"Now try again! You must work more hard, Potter!"
"Legilimens!"
Once more, he saw Potter being chased by a laughing gang.Potter sitting on a roof suddenly.then the scene changed completely. There was Potter, running towards an ancient arch hanging a veil, stretching out his arms as he ran. A man was falling backwards to the archway.he vanished as Potter screamed.
"SIRIUS!" Potter's bellow brought Severus back to his office suddenly. He looked sharply to the boy, panting hard on the floor.
"What do you think you are doing, Potter?" Severus shouted in fury. That idiot boy, that fool.
Potter turned away from him. He saw him raising his sleeve and wiping his face, but he could not tell whether he was crying.
Severus had no patient for this. "Up, Potter, and do not shout again! Try harder!"
"I am trying hard!" Potter suddenly turned and half-shouted. Severus was a little startled to see his face gleaming with tears. Then he recovered.
"I will not be spoken to like that!" he spat angrily. "Do you think shouting and screaming in memories will bring your godfather back? Do you think unleashing your memories and weakness to your enemy will make your godfather rebirth? Do you-"
"You don't know what it's like, sir!" Potter stood up and practically yelled at him. "You don't know what it's like to lose the person you love! You have no idea how hard it is, SIR!"
Severus was stunned for a moment. Shaking with anger, his voice became no more than a whisper, "And why would I not know?"
"Because you have no love! Because all you want is- is-"Potter stopped uncertainly.
"Is what?"
"You don't even like teaching! You are hollow and you have no warmth inside! You don't even know what love is! So shut up about Sirius, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE!"
The last word echoed through Severus ears. He could not take it- he would not take it- he wanted to kill Potter right on the spot-
"Get out, get OUT!" Severus bellowed as he pushed Potter out of his way. He flung open the door and threw Potter out of his office. Then, slamming the door, he dropped on the floor leaning against the door, covering his face with his hands as tears flooded them both.
Little did he know that the person who had just broken him was leaning against the same door as him, doing and feeling exactly the same.
