Chapter Two- My List of Enemies
Disclaimer: I don't own or claim to own the Harry Potter characters or any of J.K. Rowling's work. However I do claim this piece of Fan Fiction, "The Misadventures of Gilderoy Lockhart," as my own ideas and work.
~*~
Back at my table, filing my nails again, I listen to the snotty first- years talking, maybe about someone they know but don't like.
"The stuck-up git, we don't need his help! Who does he think he is, anyway?" Potter asks.
"He acts like he's Head Boy! A snobby, rude head boy!" Lily shrieks.
"Even though I hate to agree with Gryffindors on any point, Evans is right."Snape drawls.
"If he hadn't interrupted us, we'd have had enough time," The Ravenclaw whines. "Oh, I'd like to knock the living daylights out of him-"
"Listen," Potter says. "We need to get this done. We can worry about the git tomorrow. I'm sure-"he pauses for a second, deep in thought,"That we can come up with something to make his ego deflate at least a tad."
I don't like the way his eyes glint mischievously. Seriously, pranks have no style at all. If he wants to get revenge on someone, he should do it the fashionable, sensible, practical way. The Lockhart way.
I need to offer him some more help.
~*~
I don't think my offer went over well.
I'm currently in my dormitory, curling my lovely blond hair, and drawing up a list of my enemies.
Potter, James, I add first to the list.
Snape, Severus comes in second.
Evans, Lily is third.
Davids, Julia, the studious freak of a Ravenclaw, is next.
Then comes Black, Sirius, the boy who glared at me at the Sorting, and who also dumped ink on my hair and cut chunks of it off last week. He is the worst enemy of all; to Gilderoy Lockhart, even touching the hair is considered a mortal sin.
Professor Dumbledore was able to fix it, and Black got two days of detention cooking with the House-Elves. But it's not a good enough punishment for the hyperactive freak he is.
I scratch his name off the bottom of the list and add it to the top.
I then add Lupin, Remus, because he hangs around with the Hyperactive Freak, whom I shall no longer call by his proper name.
There. My list is complete. Now on to bigger and better plots.
~*~
This is what happened when I went to the first years a third time to offer my help. I had decided that, even though they were my enemies, I could still offer my assistance.
I approached them while they were hanging around the Potions dungeons, talking once again about their project. Their conversation went like this:
"Potter, you know very well that I am less than thrilled that we have been paired together, but if you would at least act mature for ten minutes while we research in the library we can get this over with and I'll never have to look at your slimy face again!" Evans shrieked.
"Why is everyone so against me?" Potter yelled back.
"I agree with Evans on this one, as much as I hate to say it, but the Mudblood is correct."(This statement earned Snape a whack over the head from Potter.)
"Excuse me,"I said, beaming at the first years, earning me a glare from the Ravenclaw ( I think she likes me) "But it sounds as if you're having some troubles amongst yourselves. Maybe you could take me up on my offer for a Gilderoy-Lockhart's Inter-House Counseling Session in Hogsmeade this weekend-"
"NO!" All four of them shouted.
"Well, excuuuuse me," I said. "I also noticed, when I overheard your delightful conversation in the library the other day, that you seem to be having trouble with some outside party also. Seems you think he's a tad big- headed. With my offer, I can help you get back at him, which you obviously so want to do."
"We were talking about you!"Potter shouted. Evans clamped a hand over his mouth, a smile dancing on her lips. I didn't like that at all.
"What Potter was saying, "she responded coolly, "Was that you probably don't know the person we're having troubles with, and we would be glad to accept your offer to help us put him back in his place."
The entire group stared at her with wide eyes and astonished expressions.
"Splendid!" I cried. "I'm glad to say I've finally met a Gryffindor with an ounce of common sense! I'll meet you in the Great Hall after lunch to help work out the plans, no?"
The first years stared at me in shock, all except Evans, who had a smug smile on her face.
"Yes, let's,"she replies. "Come on now, Potter, Snape, Julia. We have work to do,"she calls, beckoning to her friends. "I'll explain later,"she hissed into a bewildered Julia's ear.
But I didn't really notice the sly smiles appearing on the first- year's faces. I was too busy wondering what kind of spells I could teach them for getting revenge on their enemy, whoever he may be.
Maybe it's Black, Sirius.
No, I think, he's friends with them. The same with Lupin, Remus.
Maybe it's the Headmaster! Oh, goody! I'd love to put a good hex on him for giving me a week's detention after finding me cutting class so that I could practice my smiling charm in the bathroom.
Whoever it is, I think to myself, once Gilderoy Lockhart is through with them, they'll never be the same again.
Disclaimer: I don't own or claim to own the Harry Potter characters or any of J.K. Rowling's work. However I do claim this piece of Fan Fiction, "The Misadventures of Gilderoy Lockhart," as my own ideas and work.
~*~
Back at my table, filing my nails again, I listen to the snotty first- years talking, maybe about someone they know but don't like.
"The stuck-up git, we don't need his help! Who does he think he is, anyway?" Potter asks.
"He acts like he's Head Boy! A snobby, rude head boy!" Lily shrieks.
"Even though I hate to agree with Gryffindors on any point, Evans is right."Snape drawls.
"If he hadn't interrupted us, we'd have had enough time," The Ravenclaw whines. "Oh, I'd like to knock the living daylights out of him-"
"Listen," Potter says. "We need to get this done. We can worry about the git tomorrow. I'm sure-"he pauses for a second, deep in thought,"That we can come up with something to make his ego deflate at least a tad."
I don't like the way his eyes glint mischievously. Seriously, pranks have no style at all. If he wants to get revenge on someone, he should do it the fashionable, sensible, practical way. The Lockhart way.
I need to offer him some more help.
~*~
I don't think my offer went over well.
I'm currently in my dormitory, curling my lovely blond hair, and drawing up a list of my enemies.
Potter, James, I add first to the list.
Snape, Severus comes in second.
Evans, Lily is third.
Davids, Julia, the studious freak of a Ravenclaw, is next.
Then comes Black, Sirius, the boy who glared at me at the Sorting, and who also dumped ink on my hair and cut chunks of it off last week. He is the worst enemy of all; to Gilderoy Lockhart, even touching the hair is considered a mortal sin.
Professor Dumbledore was able to fix it, and Black got two days of detention cooking with the House-Elves. But it's not a good enough punishment for the hyperactive freak he is.
I scratch his name off the bottom of the list and add it to the top.
I then add Lupin, Remus, because he hangs around with the Hyperactive Freak, whom I shall no longer call by his proper name.
There. My list is complete. Now on to bigger and better plots.
~*~
This is what happened when I went to the first years a third time to offer my help. I had decided that, even though they were my enemies, I could still offer my assistance.
I approached them while they were hanging around the Potions dungeons, talking once again about their project. Their conversation went like this:
"Potter, you know very well that I am less than thrilled that we have been paired together, but if you would at least act mature for ten minutes while we research in the library we can get this over with and I'll never have to look at your slimy face again!" Evans shrieked.
"Why is everyone so against me?" Potter yelled back.
"I agree with Evans on this one, as much as I hate to say it, but the Mudblood is correct."(This statement earned Snape a whack over the head from Potter.)
"Excuse me,"I said, beaming at the first years, earning me a glare from the Ravenclaw ( I think she likes me) "But it sounds as if you're having some troubles amongst yourselves. Maybe you could take me up on my offer for a Gilderoy-Lockhart's Inter-House Counseling Session in Hogsmeade this weekend-"
"NO!" All four of them shouted.
"Well, excuuuuse me," I said. "I also noticed, when I overheard your delightful conversation in the library the other day, that you seem to be having trouble with some outside party also. Seems you think he's a tad big- headed. With my offer, I can help you get back at him, which you obviously so want to do."
"We were talking about you!"Potter shouted. Evans clamped a hand over his mouth, a smile dancing on her lips. I didn't like that at all.
"What Potter was saying, "she responded coolly, "Was that you probably don't know the person we're having troubles with, and we would be glad to accept your offer to help us put him back in his place."
The entire group stared at her with wide eyes and astonished expressions.
"Splendid!" I cried. "I'm glad to say I've finally met a Gryffindor with an ounce of common sense! I'll meet you in the Great Hall after lunch to help work out the plans, no?"
The first years stared at me in shock, all except Evans, who had a smug smile on her face.
"Yes, let's,"she replies. "Come on now, Potter, Snape, Julia. We have work to do,"she calls, beckoning to her friends. "I'll explain later,"she hissed into a bewildered Julia's ear.
But I didn't really notice the sly smiles appearing on the first- year's faces. I was too busy wondering what kind of spells I could teach them for getting revenge on their enemy, whoever he may be.
Maybe it's Black, Sirius.
No, I think, he's friends with them. The same with Lupin, Remus.
Maybe it's the Headmaster! Oh, goody! I'd love to put a good hex on him for giving me a week's detention after finding me cutting class so that I could practice my smiling charm in the bathroom.
Whoever it is, I think to myself, once Gilderoy Lockhart is through with them, they'll never be the same again.
