5. Kitty and the Stroller

Tad needed a new stroller. There was no question about it. But Kitty Pryde didn't know how to get it to Toad without anybody at the mansion finding out.

But first, she needed to find a way to hide a baby stroller where no one would find it, not even during room checks. The rooms were searched every so often, mostly for drugs or other contraband. (The most interesting thing turned up so far had been a Maxim under Kurt's mattress. He'd gotten a lecture about objectifying women.)

How was she going to get away with this? Even if she was able to hide it (she ended up putting it in the closet when Rogue was in the bathroom), how could she get it out without anyone seeing?

She worried about it for a week, moving it between the closet and under her bed so no one would find it. Lance hadn't been in school, so she couldn't talk to him. Should she take the direct approach?

And then one day, luck smiled upon her.

She woke up late Saturday morning, and everyone had already left for whatever it was they had planned to do that day. Leaving her all alone.

YES!

Quickly she dialed the number for the Brotherhood house, hoping Mystique wouldn't answer it. If she did, Kitty would disguise her voice or something.

She was in luck once again—sort of.

"You have reached Bayville High's hottest guy! Leave your name, phone number, and what time you want me to pick you up for our date at the sound of the beep. Beeeeeeep!"

"Quit fooling around, Pietro!" Kitty scolded him.

"Oh! Kitty! Hold on, I'll get—" There was a thunk as he put down the phone.

She waited, expecting Lance to pick up, but then she heard Todd's voice. "H'lo?"

"Hi. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No, Tad was nice enough to do that. If he doesn't get his bottle by seven AM sharp, he starts making noise."

"I hope you fed him."

"Oh yeah. He wakes us up a couple times a night, but when you feed him he goes right back to sleep."

"That's good."

"You got the . . .?"

"Yeah, I can bring it over to you—"

"No! I mean, don't come over here! Uh, hold on." There was a long pause, and Kitty wondered if maybe he'd fallen asleep. Then he came back. "We'll meet you at the park in . . . an hour?"

"Okay."

When she got to the park, she saw Lance sitting on a bench, Tad in his lap.

"Bah gee goo!"

"Hi, Tad!" She picked him up and held him, but didn't spin him around this time. (Once barfed on, twice shy.) "Hey, Lance."

"Hey, Kitty."

Tad giggled and played with her hair, trying to put it in his mouth. "Gah bee doo."

"No, no, Tad! Aunt Kitty's hair isn't a chew toy!" She tried to pull it away from him, and he looked like he was about to cry.

"Here." Lance stuck a binky in Tad's mouth. "Did you bring the stroller?"

"Yeah." It was still in the box. Lance helped her open it, and then they struggled to get it (the stroller, not the box) unfolded. It was an umbrella type with big red wheels and a red fabric seat.

"Put him in," Kitty suggested.

Lance buckled Tad into the stroller and wheeled him around the fountain, listening to Tad squeal with delight. "Is this fun, Taddy?"

Tad waved his hands in the air and clapped them enthusiastically. "Gah bah dah doo!"

"You like that, don't you?" Lance bent down to Tad's level . . .

And then the worst possible thing that could have happened to Lance, did—Tad barfed all over him the second he picked him up.

"Oh, yuck!"

Kitty winced and turned away. "Ooh, poor Tad!"

"What about poor me?" Lance groaned. "I'm a mess!"

"Do you have, like, another shirt you can change into?"

"No, I didn't think of it. He doesn't usually barf all over people."

"Maybe he's sick."

Lance took a look at Tad, from a safe distance. "He doesn't look that sick. Maybe I went too fast with him."

"I'm gonna go see if I can find a place that sells shirts," Kitty said. "You think he'll be okay?"

"Oh, sure," Lance said. Tad was pulling on Lance's shoelace now, but thankfully he wasn't putting it in his mouth. "Uh, Toad and Fred should be back any minute. They went to get something to eat."

"Oh, okay." Kitty looked around, but none of the stalls around the park seemed to have any T-shirts. Balloons, snacks, phone cards, and other souvenir-type stuff (who'd want a souvenir of boring old Bayville?), but no shirts.

Then she spotted a storefront across the street with "USA" shirts featured in the window, and she crossed over to check it out.

Oh, yeah, they had shirts. Shirts in all sizes—even little baby-sized ones. Tad could probably use a change of clothes himself. She picked a really cute one, and a plain black one for Lance, and even got some cute scrunchies for herself.

When she came out, Lance was holding Tad on his lap, face-out in case there were any more accidents.

"Look what I got you!" she said, holding up the baby shirt.

"Uh, Kitty . . ." Lance said. "That's pink."

"So?"

"You can't put Tad in a pink shirt!"

"Why not? See, it's got little froggies on it—"

Lance glared at her. "Tad is a boy! Boys don't wear pink!"

"Sure they do! C'mon, Tad, let's see if it fits." Kitty pulled off his old shirt and started to put the new one on . . .

Toad and Blob came around the corner and saw them.

"Look what I got!" Kitty said, showing off Tad in his new shirt. Lance had gone to discreetly change his splattered clothes behind the fountain.

Todd saw the shirt and went ballistic. "Get that thing off him!" he screeched. Heads turned all over the park.

"What? It's so adorable! Look what it says here: 'Have a hoppy day!' Get it?"

"It's PINK! Tad don't wear pink, yo!"

Kitty made an exasperated sound. "One pink shirt isn't gonna, like, totally change his life! It's just a shirt!"

"Bah gah!" Tad said, as if for emphasis.

Todd grabbed the bottom of the shirt and yanked it upward. It got stuck somewhere around Tad's underarms and would not move. He pulled harder, and Tad began screaming.

"You're hurting him!" Kitty took the baby from him and pulled the shirt back down. "By the way, there's the stroller."

Todd looked it over. "'S nice. How much do I owe you? I think we got some money left over—"

"Don't worry about it."

Lance came back, after changing and rinsing out the stained shirt. "Oh, you're back."

"Wanna snow cone?" Fred held out the dripping remains of a blue frozen treat.

"Thanks, I'll pass."

"What happened to you?" Todd asked, looking at the damp shirt in Lance's hand.

"Tad happened. He barfed all over me."

"He did?" Todd took his baby brother back and looked him over. Tad didn't look sick . . . but it was hard to tell with a little baby. He wasn't fussy or anything. Maybe he'd just been bounced around a little too much.

"Let's take him home," Todd said. "Thanks for the stroller. I'll pay you back somehow."

"I said don't worry about it. Consider it, like, my late baby gift to Tad." Kitty smiled and waved bye-bye to Tad.

"I'll call you!" Lance yelled after her as she disappeared into the crowd.

Todd put the baby into the stroller and buckled him in. "How's this thing roll?"

"Like a dream. Get this—all the wheels move in the same direction!"

"Ah, the high-end model." He tried it out. It did push easier, but anything was better than that old piece of junk they had.

When they made it home, Tad was starting to fuss a bit. It was almost noon, so he was probably hungry. Todd tried to give him a bottle, but Tad didn't want it. Strange. He didn't need to be changed, either. Maybe he was just tired.

"Where have you been?" Mystique demanded.

"Took Tad for a walk in the park." He put Tad in his crib, patted his back for a while, and the baby went right to sleep. "He had fun in his new stroller—"

"Till he threw up on me," Lance said. "He wrecked my shoelaces, too."

"New stroller?" Mystique asked.

"Long story."

"I have time."

"Uh . . ." Toad and Lance looked at each other. "We sort of borrowed it from someone."

"Stole it, you mean."

"No! She let us have it!"

"She? Don't tell me you actually have a girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? No! I mean . . . she's just a friend. Someone from school. You don't know her."

Mystique stared at him, not sure whether or not to believe him.

Tad slept until about six-thirty, and the first thing he did was barf on his new pink frog shirt.

"Poor little Taddy," Todd said. "I think he needs to go to the doctor."

"You're calm," Pietro said. "How come you're not rushing around yelling 'Call 911! Call 911!' ?"

Todd glared at him. "I'm not a total moron, you know."

Pietro was about to say something nasty when Tad threw up on him.

"Eeewwww! Tad! No!"

"He can't help it! He's just a little baby! And he's sick!"

"He was aiming for me!"

"No he wasn't! Were you, Taddy?"

"Oh, would you stop arguing?" Mystique demanded. "I'm going to the store. Get him changed, and I'll see if I can find something for his tummy."

After she left, Todd took his baby brother into his room and changed him into his jammies. Then he rocked Tad to sleep, which didn't take long at all. He'd take Tad over to see the doctor in the morning.

In his crib, Tad slept soundly. He clutched his favorite toy, Ribbit. He loved the stuffed frog more than anything else in the world, except of course for Todd. Ribbit made him feel all safe and happy.

The next day, Kitty came by to see how Tad was.

"He's fine," Todd said. "The doctor said he just had a bad reaction to the new formula, so we switched him back to the old one, and he's better now."

"That's good," Kitty said. "Hi, Taddy!"

"Gee gah!" Tad reached out for her.

"You look like you need huggle-wuggles," Kitty said.

"Huggle-wuggles?"

"Yeah. Come here, Tad." She picked him up and snuggled him close. Tad gurgled with delight and tugged on her ponytail. "Gee bee dah goo!"

"Ow! Careful, Tad! You'll pull my hair out!"

Tad squeezed Kitty's nose lightly, and then began chewing on her necklace.

"No, Tad!" She worked it out of his mouth. "That's not for eating. Where's his binky?"

"Here." Fred gave it to her, and she put it in Tad's mouth.

Tad looked happy. He loved his binky almost as much as Ribbit. Aunt Kitty was becoming his favorite person—well, his second favorite, next to Todd. "Gah bee mah gah!" he gurgled around the plug in his mouth.

Lance disappeared for a bit, and then came back with two $20 bills. "This should cover the stroller and the shirts," he said. "And this is for you."

And he gave her a kiss full on the mouth. It wasn't a long kiss, not with everyone watching, but it was definitely more than a thank-you.

Kitty stood there for a moment in shock. Then she said, "Uh . . . I gotta go. See you guys! Bye, Tad!"

"Gah goo!" Tad waved a chubby hand and gurgled happily. He liked Aunt Kitty. Maybe she could come live with them all the time. That would be fun.

"I don't think we should tell Mystique about Kitty being here," Todd said. "She might get mad."

"Why?" Fred asked. "Kitty's nice. She doesn't pretend to like you and then make excuses to not be with you . . ."

"Oh, will you get over it already?" Pietro snapped. "Tell him to get over it, Lance—uh, Lance?"

Lance was off in his own world. "She smells so nice," he sighed.

"That's not what I smell," Toad said. "I think someone needs to be changed."

Next: Uncle Magneto babysits!