This is loosely based on a random idea that occurred to me while cleaning my room, it's not really in canon with anything but it's just for fun! Okay! I don't own anything except for the plot (or lack of as the case may be). Don't sue me please! JK Rowling owns characters etc and I stole a tiny bit from an Anthony Horowitz story, though not so's you'd notice. Oh and Tesco is an English supermarket and certainly not mine either. Enjoy and review please!!!

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Thursday 1st August, 1991

"Lucius Amadeus Malfoy, you have been found guilty by trial, of subjecting a house-elf to unnecessary strain and unreasonable commands."

"Therefore you are sentenced to one month with no magical powers, nor assistance with your chores. I only hope this serves as a suitable punishment and that you'll learn from what I'm sure will be the worst month of your life. You will return on Saturday 31st of this month to review the case. The people rise."

Cornelius Fudge left the courtroom, leaving Lucius open-mouthed.

"One- one whole month? What the hell am I going to do?" He finally roared, as only a Malfoy can.

Draco quickly turned his laugh into a fake sob. Then smirked. This was going to be fun.

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Monday 5th August

"Do hold still, dear. How do you expect me to help you if you won't stop fidgeting?"

After three days of flat-out refusal to do anything, Lucius' tidy side had started to eat away at him and had finally devoured any composure there may once have been. His third injury of the day had occurred when he had tried to light the toaster with a match. It exploded.

Lucius, being a Malfoy and therefore full of pride, had refused to acknowledge what had happened and simply sat down and read the newspaper. "Father, I like the whole "G.I. Joe" look and I'm sure it's really in this season, but I don't think mother'll approve of you bleeding over her rug." Draco pointed out with the trademark sneer. Lucius glanced down at his chest. "Yes I suppose I should really get cleaned up." "And may I suggest a tetanus shot?" Draco had taken Muggle Studies for a term after being kicked out of Care of Magical Creatures. He had only had time to learn a few things though, as Mrs Belgrave removed him after he tipped catnip over her "to see what would happen". She was unimpressed when Mrs Norris thought she was an attractive tom cat and tried to breed with her leg for the next fortnight.

"Er.yes, of course" Lucius declared with a haughty air. Though he had no idea what a tetanus *was*, it surely couldn't be too difficult to find one, could it? "I'll go and pick one up right now." "Let me come with you father", Draco offered, "There must be a Tesco's around here somewhere." Lucius quickly wiped the confused look from his face and replaced it with his resident disdainful one. "Tesco's?. Oh erm, yes. Obviously. Glad I thought of it." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------- Tuesday 6th August

"Well. Who would've known that the nearest Tesco's was eighty miles away, eh dad?" Draco had regained his cheerful composure (held ever since his father's sentencing) despite the frostbite. They had finally reached Tesco's.

"Of course, living in Wiltshire I suppose it was rather obvious." Draco pointed out.

Lucius, who was not in the mood for jolity, simply grunted and tried to wiggle his toes against the frost which had built up in his shoes.

Draco, with a wave of his wand, cured his own frostbite and laryngitis, but refused to do the same for Lucius. "I'm sorry, but you know I'm not allowed to. You just concentrate on not falling over, right?"

Lucius gave a sniff of self-pity.

Yay! One chapter! Well, what did you think? In the next one! Lucius finds himself a tetanus! More injuries! More smug Draco!

Review review review review review. Thank you and goodnight. (review)