G: The third (and hopefully final) chapter of the Ball of doom series. Hope you enjoy!

Dedication: To Ko-chan, who made me see how horrible a person I was being the past few weeks.

I had picked on her, and loaded her with pain and guilt. I had gone too far.

Nikko, thank you for showing me the ugly side of my heart. You live up to your name, Sunshine.

BUT ENOUGH OF THAT! ON TO CRAZINESS!!!XD

______________________________________________________________________________

THE CHIBI BALL OF DOOM!!!: part 3

BATTLE OF THE SPONGE STICKS!!!

Last time: Yami & Yuugi investigate the disappearance of all the people in Domino.

Then they get sucked into the land of candy canes, and wander into the town of Chibeta

where they are tasked with the retrieval and destruction of the Chibi Ball of Doom.

They follow the trail of broken candy into a chocolate cave where they find Malik turning the citizens of Domino into midgets!

(AKA: Chibis!) Yami spots the Ball of Doom and plots a way to retrieve it...

Yami: Alright, here's the plan. I'll go on a sugar high & go berserker on Malik while you go and blow up the machine with your rocket launcher.

After that I'll go and give the jerk-off a power wedgie and stick him on a flagpole for all to see!

Yuugi: My rocket launcher is a piece of crap, remember?

Yami: Really? Okay, plan B. I'm gonna go down there with a sponge stick while you back me up with this BB-gun. Then, we level the whole place with some H-bombs!

Yuugi: Where the hell did you get Hydrogen bombs?

Yami: Threatened the head of the Russian mafia. Gave me plenty of bombs.

Then I hired Bomberman to rig 'em around the base of the mountain so it'll sink underground! ^^

Yuugi: Another question, What good would a sponge-stick do against Malik?

Yami: Simple. I'll challenge him to a duel. If he refuses, then I'll challenge him to a sponge-stick fight! If I win, he's gotta restore everyone and we all get outta here without a fight.

If Malik wins, I'll bring out the remote and blow us all to hell!

Yuugi: The "If I'm going down I'm takin' you with me" method?

Yami: Right on! And now, to sneak off into the shadows and take him out! (Slinks away into the shadows)

Yuugi: I swear, Yami's been playing "Splinter Cell" for too long. (Sighs & readies the bb-gun)

MEANWHILE...

Malik was toying with numerous blueprints while he was on a Sake bender.

While this was happening chibi geishas played samisens and hosed him down with sake. (Told ya there'd be some sake reference!)

Malik: Ahh, this is the*hic* life. No having to think about hunting rare*hic* cards, no urge to rule the*hic*world,*hic*

no Yami to duel, & my own little*hic* world to*hic* rule. This is*hic* great!

Chibi1: (muttering) Speak for yourself asshole...

Malik: What'd you say?

C1: Nothing.

Malik: You*hic* said something.

C1: I say nutting. You're just hearing things.

Malik: I better*hic* be hearing things for your*hic* sake.

C1:(Thought) You wish...

While all this was happening, Yami was sneaking into the cave where Malik was getting sprayed by sake hoses.

As he was slinking around, several chibi security guards spotted him and tried to sound the alarm

(which was actually a piece of dynamite hooked up to a microphone) but fell to Yami's sponge-stick.

Yami: Alright, where is that ass-licker? He's gotta be around here.

(Notices Sake flowing from under one of the doors further down the hall.) I'll bet that's where he is.

(Sneaks over to the door and puts an ear to it)

Malik: (Singing "How Dry I Am")*vase shatters*

Yami: (flinches) That's definitely him. Ugh.

Yami kicked the door in with his sponge stick raised like a terrible blade over his head as he uttered an Egyptian battle-cry.

The geishas scampered away, dropping their hoses of sake as they ran for the safety of God-knows-where.

Yami: YAHHH!!! DIE FAT BASTARD!!!

Malik: (finally turns sober) AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Meanwhile...

Yuugi got tired of waiting and decided to go seek out his friends.

He headed down the corridors Yami had broken & entered earlier.

Amazed at what Yami had done single-handedly with a sponge-stick,

he decided to do the same with the bb-gun he carried in his hands...

Back to the story...



Yami had been cornered by superior numbers. The masses of chibis were aiming pellet guns at his head

as he stood stock still lest they pepper him with plastic BB's.

Malik was pacing in front of yami the whole time as he was smoking a cigar.

Yami: Dammit.

Malik: Don't take it so hard Yami, I like your style. You're clever, sneaky, and crazier than a

A headless chicken.

As a matter of fact, I'll bet that you're thinking of some way to take every last one of us down before my friend here pulls the trigger.

Yami: Um. Am not. Ahem. Anyway what's with the chibis here in this cave?

Malik: I'm gonna put every theme park out of business with my latest plan: a theme park!

(Presses a remote and a hologram appears from the middle of the floor)

I dub it Chibi Land! Where everyone will bow down to me and buy my merchandise!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!

Yami: Whatever.

Malik: However, I'm gonna give you a chance to escape...a fighting chance if you will.

Yami: Yay! I like fighting!

Malik: I'm challenging you to a contest, that way we can work out this problem without any undue violence!

Yami: But I like undue violence!

Malik: Or we shoot you now.

Yami: Holy crap! Fine, what's your little game?

Malik: It's simple. If you win, I and my chibi mind-slaves will give up without a struggle.

If my guy wins, we execute you in a nice private ceremony in the underground park.

And now...its time to welcome you gentlemen to the world of savage, no-holds-barred, PIE-EATING MAYHEM!!!



They were instantly brought outside into what looked like an oddly colored park, complete with a butterscotch pond, and several beer kegs. In front of them stood a mountain of pies as tall as Mt. Everest. Several of the bodyguards almost fainted at the size of it all, some looked apprehensive and skeptical at the prospect of two people finishing a whole mountain of pies. Then, Yami was brought closer to the mountain.

Malik: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT ONE-HUNDRED-TEN POUNDS!

THE SELF-PROCLAIMED PHARAOH OF EGYPT AND CREATOR OF THE MILLENNIUM ITEMS! YAMI!!!

AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT OVER A METRIC TON! FEARED AT PIZZA JOINTS 'ROUND DOMINO!

I GIVE YOU...JOEY WHEELER!

Immediately Joey was brought in on a roller-board pushed and pulled by several struggling chibis.

He looked hideous since he was enveloped in many layers of fat, grease, and pepperoni slices.

Yami just stared feeling disgusted at the sight. He was going to fight Joey once again.

Malik: Well Yami, are you feeling the first twinges of fear going down your spine?

Yami: Malik, you're about to receive an unpleasant surprise about skinny people. Bring it on.

Immediately, the air was thick with pie crumbs, pie pans, filling, and mockingbird feathers.

(Yes there is mockingbird pie) Both contestants ate fast and furiously, getting pie down their shirts, on their faces, and in their hair.

Several people got sick on the spot, while others were just horrified at the number of pies vanishing before their eyes.

The pies kept coming as fast as they were going, as the contest dragged along...

Bodyguard1: Uh, boss? This is getting disgusting. I'd better go sit down.

#2: I don't believe it! Yami's in the lead! He's scarfing down pies at blazing speed while maintaining his slim physique! I envy him!

Malik: Relax fellas, I just happen to know that Joey knows a special Russian technique that'll expand his stomach capacity FIFTY times over!

Just watch.

Joey: (stops in mid-bite) HURK! (Keels over)

#2: He's dead!

Malik: That wasn't quite what I had in mind. But he went down eating. He would have wanted it that way.

Somebody get a body bag.

Yami: Ha! I've won again Malik! As usual...

Malik: So you have...TOSS HIM INTO THE LAKE BOYS!

Yami: A double-cross! Why I oughta...(starts becoming drowsy) What the-! Strength failing...getting sleepy...too many pies...

too fast...must...take...nap! (Falls asleep) zzz...

They tossed him into the butterscotch lake with all his weapons on him, dragging him down into the depths.

MEANWHILE...

Yuugi had found the prison where everyone in Domino was being held prisoner in tiny 3-foot cages.

He immediately proceeded to blast off all the flimsy locks in the place.

After a half-hour of blasting locks and freeing people, they all proceeded to hunt down the infernal machine!

IN THE LAKE...

Yami woke from his brief pie-induced nap in the pond.

Yami: Holy Crap! Weapons dragging me down...must use secret Egyptian technique...entering...

SUGAR RUSH!!! (snaps the ropes)

Outside the lake Malik was celebrating his victory over Yami, or so he thought.

The surface of the lake began to froth and churn madly until...

Yami: (rises from the surface Godzilla style) RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Malik: HOLY SHIT! IT'S YAMI!!!! Now be reasonable Yami, we can talk this out!

Yami: Talking...is..for...little...girls...BANZAI!!! (Goes on the uncontrollable "Sugar Rampage")

Malik: HURRY! KILL HIM!!!!

Yami: (pulls out a bb-gun) HEY LOOK! I'M HAVING A LEAD EATING CONTEST! YOU'RE ALL WINNING!!!



So Yami went berserker on everyone in the whole park as he went around screaming about park rules while

slamming people into garbage cans, pumping them full of lead, and...you get the picture. Then in half an hour, the carnage subsided.

Yami: (Huff, huff) Alright...who...wants...some...more?

#2: No more for me thanks! (eep.)

Yami: ..... (bonk, bonk, bonk!)

Malik: Nice work Yami, (points a gun) now hands in the air.

Yami: Sure. (Pulls a grenade out)

Malik: Puh-leez, Do you honestly think I'm up for another draw? I don't think so.

All I have to do is keep you here for a little longer... then my other slaves will be more than happy to deal with you...

(Spies a large group coming) Here they come now.



And indeed a large group was coming, but not the one Malik wanted...

Yuugi: Hey Yami! I rescued the others!

Joey: Hey Yami! Whazzup!

Yami: What the crap?! I thought you were dead from eating all those pies!

Tristan: Nah. The made an imposter Joey from one of Malik's mind-slaves.

Joey: Pies?! What pies? Lemme at em'!

Bakura: Over there Joey. (Points)

Joey: YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (Attacks the pies)

Everyone: (sweat-drop) ^-^;

Malik: Hey where's the grenade?

Yami: Oh that. I dropped it down your pants while you weren't looking.

Malik: HOLY SH-! (BOOM!)

Everyone: AIEEEEEE!!!!

Tea: HOLY CRAP! THE WHOLE MOUNTAIN'S GONNA CAVE IN!!!

Yami: Run for your freaking lives!!!



Everyone bolted for the cave exit and made it in time before the whole thing collapsed.

Tristan: We made it! But where's Joey?

Seto: I'll bet he couldn't move his rear-end to get out in time.

Joey: Actually, it was easy.

Everyone: WHAT THE CRAP?!

Joey: I managed to dig my way out of the chocolate avalanche.

Seto: More like eat than dig.

Joey: HEY SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!! YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A FRUITS BASKET YOURSELF!

Yami: Anyway, It's time to get the crap outta here.

Yuugi: How?

Yami: Remember those H-bombs I told you about earlier?

Mai: Oh God! You mean you're gonna-!?

Beep!

Then, what remained of the whole mountain instantly turned into an avalanche of hot fudge as everyone ran

to avoid being scalded to choclatey death in the land of candy canes.

Suddenly a portal opened up to let in a whole crowd of people, the same one that Yuugi & Yami slid down earlier.

Only now it was big enough to let in the whole crowd of people.

They all jumped in and slid down the golden spiral...

Yami! Wake up!!!

Yami woke up from his concussion in a grassy park-like area. It looked very familiar...

Yami: Hey, Everybody's back to normal!

Serenity: You bet we are! And big brother's thin again!

Yuugi: But only one thing...

Yami: What?

Tristan: Tea's still a chibi!

Yami: What the crap?!

Mokuba: Think we should try to find a way to get her back to normal?

Hmmmmmmmm......

Yami: Nah. Let's use her as a soccer ball!

YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Domino, came back to life again!

THE END!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

G: God, that took such a long time to finish! Considering we had a whole summer to finish it and everything.

K: At least you were able to get it done, unlike some of your other fics.

G: Yeah, you're right. Some of these I'll NEVER get done. It looks like I need some ideas for the next project.

T: How bout' Full Metal Panic?

G: Nah, I don't think FF.net will even have an FMP archive. But it can't hurt to try.

Well, that was a long ride while it lasted, I hope we can do it again soon! Send me your reviews and remember,

if you haven't made a mistake yet, you haven't tried anything new! Farewell!