Without You
Disclaimer: You all know who I don't own, so don't sue. This story was written during a healing period for me, hence the amount of angst and lack of happy bunnies frolicking through the lands. I did some research on the sicknesses in this story, so hopefully the events that take place are rather "plausible". Eh, either way, it's fiction, and a great way to deal with my own pain. Please keep that in mind if reviewing. Thank-you and have a Newsie-filled day!
"We'll never forget 'im, never." Jack swore, his voice struggling to remain collected. The tattered red bandanna that once hung around his neck now was gripped in his hands, occasionally making its way to his cheeks to wipe away any unwanted tears. He was the leader of the group, and it was his duty to be strong, no matter what, the death of one of his own Newsies included.
Autumn clutched Jack's free hand, her tears running down the path of her cheeks towards the cold ground. "He's right," she added. "We'll always have him in our hearts and our minds, ya know. He can never truly leave, and he never will." She used her sleeve to wipe the numerous tears from her red cheeks and curled her lips into a small smile. "He knew how much ya loved him. Remember dat."
Her words fell on deaf ears. Not bothering to brush the blonde curls from her face, Blaze merely nodded solemnly, her blue eyes fixated on the newly shoveled grave in front of her. Tears had since ceased from falling down her face. All that was left of her sobbing was her blood-red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
"Why don't you walk back wid us?" Jack suggested. He turned to Autumn once there was no response and sighed.
"We could get ya somethin' ta eat on da way back. and we all could use some rest," Autumn continued. When Blaze still refused to answer, she looked helplessly back at her boyfriend.
"I know, we'll um, go talk to da others and tell 'em to go, and den we'll come back over here." Jack squeezed Autumn's hand and walked towards the small group of Newsies that were still lingering at the cemetery.
"We can't leave her," Autumn whispered, her wavy, dark brown hair dancing in the wind.
"We won't leave her. But she needs time to say goodbye right now, and ya know we won't get a response out of her unless we leave her be for a few minutes," Jack explained. He slid his arm around Autumn's shoulder and nodded to the ragged group huddled together in the cold.
"Ya can all go back now. We'll be comin' back wid Blaze in a little while, but it'd be best ta leave her now." He nodded towards Spot, and the Brooklyn leader took over, herding the somber Newsies away from their friend's grave.
Jack and Autumn gathered under a small tree and looked over towards Blaze. She had since fell to her knees in the freezing snow near the headstone and was doubled over, her arms clutching her stomach.
Unable to watch, Jack turned back to Autumn and hugged her close, wishing fervently that he would never lose her like Blaze had lost her love.
Her face buried in Jack's chest, Autumn cringed each time she heard Blaze sob louder. She clutched to Jack tighter, hoping she could get close enough to drown out the somber sounds of weeping. Jack stroked through her hair, his eyes brimming with the tears he had fought to hold back for hours.
Jack watched Blaze continue to kneel on the frigid ground. If they didn't help her move, he knew she'd stay there all night. Gripping to Autumn's hand, Jack looked into her blue eyes and nodded, signaling it was time to help Blaze from the cemetery.
Reluctantly the pair made their way towards Blaze, and Autumn lightly rested her hand on Blaze's shoulder.
"It's gettin' late, and dark, Blaze. It won't be safe to walk back if we don't start now."
Blaze didn't want to leave. She shook her head quickly, refusing to move.
"You can come back tomorrow, in da mornin', when it's light out, but we gotta start walkin' back now," Jack explained.
Sighing, Blaze hung her head, giving a slight nod. As Jack helped her from the ground, Blaze stared at the grave once more before turning her back to it, and walking away.
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Blaze watched out the window as the first signs of winter turning into spring began to show. Rain was finally falling, and the snow was gradually melting away. It was about this time last year that Bumlets started feeling strange. He was sick more often than ever before, but neither Blaze nor Bumlets had thought it was all that serious. He had a few colds, and once in awhile he'd feel tired, but they thought nothing of it.
A few months later in the summer, he started feeling feverish and Blaze began to worry. He was sick for a few days each month, and despite his determined outlook that it was just because the lodging house was so big and he was catching everyone else's colds, Blaze reasoned with him to see a doctor. Bumlets finally gave in to Blaze's wishes, only to receive news no one ever wants to hear. He wasn't just sick with colds, but had something much worse - something called tuberculosis.
~~~~
"Why us? Why is dis happening?!" Blaze cried. "Ya can't die on me!"
Bumlets pulled her into his arms, speechless, his eyes wide, staring out across the bunkroom. What could he tell her? That he was going to beat it? The doctor gave him no chance. He could die in a month, a few months, a year at best, but he wasn't going to survive longer than that. He was already advancing into the second stages of the disease. If only he had done things differently; If only he had gone to a doctor before, when he had those annoying colds. Bumlets didn't have the means to pay for any sort of treatment, especially not a sanatorium.
"No, it's not true. It can't be true," Blaze mumbled into his chest, her sobs making it hard to speak. "I won't let you go nowhere."
"Ya heard what da doctor said. It is true," Bumlets muttered morbidly, regretting the words once they were uttered, for Blaze's sobbing merely increased. His emotions were swelling through him. He didn't know what to think. At one point he was angry, and at another he was upset and sad. He didn't want Blaze to cry. He didn't want to think about dying anymore. Bumlets wanted to forget it and go on living. but Blaze was crying in his arms, and he couldn't escape it. He needed her to be strong for him, even though he couldn't admit that.
"Blaze, honey, it's okay," he whispered. Pulling away, Bumlets looked into her eyes. "Please, let's just think about somethin' else for awhile. It ain't like I'm goin' somewhere tomorrow. Let's just talk about somethin' else." Ignorance had helped him through those months of colds when he didn't know something was wrong, and it was going to help him now as well. It hadn't hit him yet, and he was counting on it taking awhile to register that he wasn't going to live that long.
How could he not want to think about it? Blaze thought. How can he push dis aside? Rubbing the tears from her eyes, Blaze nodded. She let Bumlets pull her down on his bunk and curled up in his arms.
"Won't Klopp get mad dat ya got a girl sleepin' in da boys' room?" she asked once the boys started to file in the room. They all seemed so quiet, which was unlike this group of Newsies. They knew what was going to happen to Bumlets, and no one knew what to say. Blaze caught some of them looking at her with sympathetic eyes and she looked away, unable to bare their glances.
"I think he's gonna make an exception dis time," Bumlets answered, wishing that the reason he would overlook things was not because of his present situation.
"Lights out!" Kloppman called, peeking his head in the room. He took notice of Blaze lying in Bumlets' arms, but made like he hadn't seen her. "Goodnight boys." With the lights extinguished, Kloppman closed the door and headed towards the girls' room to repeat his nightly routine.
Blaze looked up into Bumlets' eyes. "Ya don't mind if I stay?"
"A coise not. I want ya to stay." Bumlets began to sit up, since he was still fully clothed, and didn't like the idea of sleeping in his boots, but Blaze stopped him, reading his mind.
"No, lemme get it." Sitting up, Blaze untied his shoes and set them underneath his bunk. As she unlaced her own boots, Blaze felt his arms crawl around her waist and once she was finished, Blaze leaned back, letting Bumlets pull her back down beside him.
Tucking the blanket around them both, Bumlets hugged Blaze close, and sighed as Blaze rested her head on his chest. "Sleep tight sweetie."
"G'night handsome," Blaze mumbled before closing her eyes.
Unable to sleep, Bumlets listened to Blaze's breathing calm down and stroked through her hair. He squinted his eyes in the dark, taking in as much as the bunkroom as he could. How much longer would he fall asleep in this room? How much longer would he wake up to Kloppman yelling at him to get his lazy bum up? The news was starting to sink in, despite his wishes to be blind to it.
As the tears rolled down his cheeks, Bumlets thought of his life here, what he would miss, and how life would go on without him. He couldn't force the idea of death into his head. At eighteen, who wanted to think of a horrible subject like that? Yet now, he was forced to, just like he had when his mother passed away.
Bumlets understood why any talk of death was excruciatingly hard on Blaze. While he had lost his father before he was born, and his mother at six, Blaze had only lost her family a few years ago, and she had seen both her mother and brother murdered before her eyes, by her own father. Still, he wished she'd be strong for his sake, if for no other reason. He didn't know how to take the news. It was like he fell numb to it; he just didn't believe it was happening. Certainly he was ill sometimes, but so were other Newsies, so how could this be something much worse? He neglected the fact that he was fatigued much more than usual, he coughed more than usual, and that he felt feverish at times.
Holding his girl close, Bumlets decided to try and get some rest. It wouldn't do him any good to dwell on his disease now. He still had time left, he could still accomplish some of his goals, and he would just have to remain as strong as possible.
~~~~
Her knees pulled to her chest, Blaze watched as the rain streamed down the lodging house window. She had wanted to visit Bumlets' grave today, but with the weather, the other girls forbade her to go. Sighing, Blaze looked longingly out the window, watching as the last bit of snow was washed away by the rain.
Disclaimer: You all know who I don't own, so don't sue. This story was written during a healing period for me, hence the amount of angst and lack of happy bunnies frolicking through the lands. I did some research on the sicknesses in this story, so hopefully the events that take place are rather "plausible". Eh, either way, it's fiction, and a great way to deal with my own pain. Please keep that in mind if reviewing. Thank-you and have a Newsie-filled day!
"We'll never forget 'im, never." Jack swore, his voice struggling to remain collected. The tattered red bandanna that once hung around his neck now was gripped in his hands, occasionally making its way to his cheeks to wipe away any unwanted tears. He was the leader of the group, and it was his duty to be strong, no matter what, the death of one of his own Newsies included.
Autumn clutched Jack's free hand, her tears running down the path of her cheeks towards the cold ground. "He's right," she added. "We'll always have him in our hearts and our minds, ya know. He can never truly leave, and he never will." She used her sleeve to wipe the numerous tears from her red cheeks and curled her lips into a small smile. "He knew how much ya loved him. Remember dat."
Her words fell on deaf ears. Not bothering to brush the blonde curls from her face, Blaze merely nodded solemnly, her blue eyes fixated on the newly shoveled grave in front of her. Tears had since ceased from falling down her face. All that was left of her sobbing was her blood-red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
"Why don't you walk back wid us?" Jack suggested. He turned to Autumn once there was no response and sighed.
"We could get ya somethin' ta eat on da way back. and we all could use some rest," Autumn continued. When Blaze still refused to answer, she looked helplessly back at her boyfriend.
"I know, we'll um, go talk to da others and tell 'em to go, and den we'll come back over here." Jack squeezed Autumn's hand and walked towards the small group of Newsies that were still lingering at the cemetery.
"We can't leave her," Autumn whispered, her wavy, dark brown hair dancing in the wind.
"We won't leave her. But she needs time to say goodbye right now, and ya know we won't get a response out of her unless we leave her be for a few minutes," Jack explained. He slid his arm around Autumn's shoulder and nodded to the ragged group huddled together in the cold.
"Ya can all go back now. We'll be comin' back wid Blaze in a little while, but it'd be best ta leave her now." He nodded towards Spot, and the Brooklyn leader took over, herding the somber Newsies away from their friend's grave.
Jack and Autumn gathered under a small tree and looked over towards Blaze. She had since fell to her knees in the freezing snow near the headstone and was doubled over, her arms clutching her stomach.
Unable to watch, Jack turned back to Autumn and hugged her close, wishing fervently that he would never lose her like Blaze had lost her love.
Her face buried in Jack's chest, Autumn cringed each time she heard Blaze sob louder. She clutched to Jack tighter, hoping she could get close enough to drown out the somber sounds of weeping. Jack stroked through her hair, his eyes brimming with the tears he had fought to hold back for hours.
Jack watched Blaze continue to kneel on the frigid ground. If they didn't help her move, he knew she'd stay there all night. Gripping to Autumn's hand, Jack looked into her blue eyes and nodded, signaling it was time to help Blaze from the cemetery.
Reluctantly the pair made their way towards Blaze, and Autumn lightly rested her hand on Blaze's shoulder.
"It's gettin' late, and dark, Blaze. It won't be safe to walk back if we don't start now."
Blaze didn't want to leave. She shook her head quickly, refusing to move.
"You can come back tomorrow, in da mornin', when it's light out, but we gotta start walkin' back now," Jack explained.
Sighing, Blaze hung her head, giving a slight nod. As Jack helped her from the ground, Blaze stared at the grave once more before turning her back to it, and walking away.
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Blaze watched out the window as the first signs of winter turning into spring began to show. Rain was finally falling, and the snow was gradually melting away. It was about this time last year that Bumlets started feeling strange. He was sick more often than ever before, but neither Blaze nor Bumlets had thought it was all that serious. He had a few colds, and once in awhile he'd feel tired, but they thought nothing of it.
A few months later in the summer, he started feeling feverish and Blaze began to worry. He was sick for a few days each month, and despite his determined outlook that it was just because the lodging house was so big and he was catching everyone else's colds, Blaze reasoned with him to see a doctor. Bumlets finally gave in to Blaze's wishes, only to receive news no one ever wants to hear. He wasn't just sick with colds, but had something much worse - something called tuberculosis.
~~~~
"Why us? Why is dis happening?!" Blaze cried. "Ya can't die on me!"
Bumlets pulled her into his arms, speechless, his eyes wide, staring out across the bunkroom. What could he tell her? That he was going to beat it? The doctor gave him no chance. He could die in a month, a few months, a year at best, but he wasn't going to survive longer than that. He was already advancing into the second stages of the disease. If only he had done things differently; If only he had gone to a doctor before, when he had those annoying colds. Bumlets didn't have the means to pay for any sort of treatment, especially not a sanatorium.
"No, it's not true. It can't be true," Blaze mumbled into his chest, her sobs making it hard to speak. "I won't let you go nowhere."
"Ya heard what da doctor said. It is true," Bumlets muttered morbidly, regretting the words once they were uttered, for Blaze's sobbing merely increased. His emotions were swelling through him. He didn't know what to think. At one point he was angry, and at another he was upset and sad. He didn't want Blaze to cry. He didn't want to think about dying anymore. Bumlets wanted to forget it and go on living. but Blaze was crying in his arms, and he couldn't escape it. He needed her to be strong for him, even though he couldn't admit that.
"Blaze, honey, it's okay," he whispered. Pulling away, Bumlets looked into her eyes. "Please, let's just think about somethin' else for awhile. It ain't like I'm goin' somewhere tomorrow. Let's just talk about somethin' else." Ignorance had helped him through those months of colds when he didn't know something was wrong, and it was going to help him now as well. It hadn't hit him yet, and he was counting on it taking awhile to register that he wasn't going to live that long.
How could he not want to think about it? Blaze thought. How can he push dis aside? Rubbing the tears from her eyes, Blaze nodded. She let Bumlets pull her down on his bunk and curled up in his arms.
"Won't Klopp get mad dat ya got a girl sleepin' in da boys' room?" she asked once the boys started to file in the room. They all seemed so quiet, which was unlike this group of Newsies. They knew what was going to happen to Bumlets, and no one knew what to say. Blaze caught some of them looking at her with sympathetic eyes and she looked away, unable to bare their glances.
"I think he's gonna make an exception dis time," Bumlets answered, wishing that the reason he would overlook things was not because of his present situation.
"Lights out!" Kloppman called, peeking his head in the room. He took notice of Blaze lying in Bumlets' arms, but made like he hadn't seen her. "Goodnight boys." With the lights extinguished, Kloppman closed the door and headed towards the girls' room to repeat his nightly routine.
Blaze looked up into Bumlets' eyes. "Ya don't mind if I stay?"
"A coise not. I want ya to stay." Bumlets began to sit up, since he was still fully clothed, and didn't like the idea of sleeping in his boots, but Blaze stopped him, reading his mind.
"No, lemme get it." Sitting up, Blaze untied his shoes and set them underneath his bunk. As she unlaced her own boots, Blaze felt his arms crawl around her waist and once she was finished, Blaze leaned back, letting Bumlets pull her back down beside him.
Tucking the blanket around them both, Bumlets hugged Blaze close, and sighed as Blaze rested her head on his chest. "Sleep tight sweetie."
"G'night handsome," Blaze mumbled before closing her eyes.
Unable to sleep, Bumlets listened to Blaze's breathing calm down and stroked through her hair. He squinted his eyes in the dark, taking in as much as the bunkroom as he could. How much longer would he fall asleep in this room? How much longer would he wake up to Kloppman yelling at him to get his lazy bum up? The news was starting to sink in, despite his wishes to be blind to it.
As the tears rolled down his cheeks, Bumlets thought of his life here, what he would miss, and how life would go on without him. He couldn't force the idea of death into his head. At eighteen, who wanted to think of a horrible subject like that? Yet now, he was forced to, just like he had when his mother passed away.
Bumlets understood why any talk of death was excruciatingly hard on Blaze. While he had lost his father before he was born, and his mother at six, Blaze had only lost her family a few years ago, and she had seen both her mother and brother murdered before her eyes, by her own father. Still, he wished she'd be strong for his sake, if for no other reason. He didn't know how to take the news. It was like he fell numb to it; he just didn't believe it was happening. Certainly he was ill sometimes, but so were other Newsies, so how could this be something much worse? He neglected the fact that he was fatigued much more than usual, he coughed more than usual, and that he felt feverish at times.
Holding his girl close, Bumlets decided to try and get some rest. It wouldn't do him any good to dwell on his disease now. He still had time left, he could still accomplish some of his goals, and he would just have to remain as strong as possible.
~~~~
Her knees pulled to her chest, Blaze watched as the rain streamed down the lodging house window. She had wanted to visit Bumlets' grave today, but with the weather, the other girls forbade her to go. Sighing, Blaze looked longingly out the window, watching as the last bit of snow was washed away by the rain.
