Chapter 24- I Will Not Let Thee Go
A/N: I advise you to read this poem in the beginning. It is very significant to this chapter, and you might be able to appreciate some of the parts better. Especially pay attention to the first and last stanza. In addition, it's a beautiful poem, and the poetic part of your mind can be enriched with a new flavor! Thank you.
I will not let thee go.
Ends all our month-long love in this?
Can it be summed up so,
Quit in a single kiss?
I will not let thee go.
I will not thee go.
If thy words' breath could scare thy deed,
as the soft south can blow
and toss the feathered seeds,
then might I let thee go?
I will not let thee go.
Had not the great sun seen, I might;
or were he reckoned slow
to bring the false to light,
Then might I let thee go.
I will not let you go.
The stars that crowd the summer skies
have watched us so below
with all their million eyes,
I dare not let thee go.
I will not let thee go.
Have we not chid the changeful moon,
now rising late, and now
because she set too soon,
and shall I let thee go?
I will not let thee go.
Have not the young flowers been content,
Plucked ere their buds could blow,
to seal our sacrament?
I cannot let thee go.
I will not let thee go.
I hold thee by too many bands:
Thou sayest farewell, and lo!
I have thee by the hands,
and will not let thee go.
- I Will Not Let Thee Go
by Robert Bridges (1844-1930)
"Bloody thorns," Aletta heard Severus growled as they made their way through a rose coppice.
"Why did we choose this path, then," Aletta said jokingly as a spike stabbed her right hand.
Snape halted and turned to glare at her, "If I knew a way of avoiding them, we wouldn't bloody be walking through here, would we?"
Aletta shook her head as she started to laugh, "Relax, Snape. I'm only kidding," she looked down at her hand where the thorn was still stuck in her skin, and blood started to trickle down her hand gently.
Snape must have noticed, for he started to approach her, cursing at the bushes as he made his way. When he approached her he took her hand in his the same way he did that morning and lugged the thorn from her skin. She let out a painful gasp as he tossed the thorn on the ground.
"Does it hurt?" he asked so gently that she looked up to see if it was really he.
Aletta shrugged nonchalantly as she gazed into his eyes and whispered, "I guess."
So many times were they in this situation where they could not pull their gazes from each other, and Aletta felt so many urges to leap upon him and confess her love. But that was way too dramatic for her, and she didn't even know if she wanted to tell him of her feelings. To tell him, and to be laughed or growled at in a reply, was something she couldn't endure. And she was determined not to take that hurting chance.
Severus looked away grudgingly and started to rip a piece of his robe off, causing Aletta to gasp inwardly. When he had ripped off a long size of the cloth, he started to bandage her bleeding hand with it.
"You didn't need to do that-" she started breathlessly, but he interrupted her.
"We foolishly left the bandages behind in the tent, as well as many other antibiotics and healing potions."
Aletta nodded in understanding and pulled her hand to her chest when he was done. The strong male scent of him was an erotic stimulus she didn't want to feel. And Severus' next move helped diminish it effortlessly.
"Every rose," he began silkily as he studied her with his menacing, black eyes, "has its thorns."
Aletta frowned as he turned his back to her to walk on. That upset her, even though he was simply stating a cliché. But he had meant it to describe her, hurt her . . .injure her, and it succeeded.
She saw ahead of her, the dark figure of Severus moving on. She never wanted to face him again. Not because of the dull truism, but because of everything. Yesterday's events, her frustrating love for him, his confusing demeanor. Running away and never looking back was such a welcoming performance to her at that moment. She couldn't face the confusion any more, the pain, the misery. In her heart she could what he was doing to her. Yesterday, he made a wild, glorious song burst in her heart. His endearing soul was pulling her into a promise of heaven and beyond. But had he meant it to do that?
"Aletta?"
Her eyes widened with surprise when she heard him call her name from afar. Her indignant eyes turned to meet his outline, which was further away than before. She ran after him, not paying attention to the jabs and pokes she received from the bushes. Her clothing was being somewhat ripped in the process, and when she approached him, she was met with an arched eyebrow.
"Enjoy being thrashed up, I see?" he jeered as he looked over her slashed attire.
Aletta ignored the sarcasm and said, "Where are we going anyway?"
"We are about to do a crazy attempt at collecting the Selimare's poison," he said as he broke a rickety, old branch off of a nearby tree.
"I see," this is it, she said, it's now or never, "Severus, I have to tell you something."
Severus broke another branch and said unemotionally, "Can't it wait?"
Unbearable bastard, she thought, but that's why I love him.
She smiled. "No, it really can't."
Severus thrust one of the branches at her and she barely caught it. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked angrily.
"Using the resources around us for weapons," he answered almost robotically. "Now tell me what you need to quickly so we can move onto more important things."
Aletta frowned at him and took a deep breath. Her feet somehow carried her over in front of him, despite her fear. She started to say it, but all that came out was a gurgle.
"I beg your pardon?" Snape asked with annoyance, as she blushed even more.
She tried again, but all that came out was stuttering. Why is this so hard to do? she asked herself.
"I . . . you see . . . I," she kept trying, but Snape was losing his patience with incredible speed.
"Spit it out, woman!" he shouted as he jabbed the ground with his branch.
Urged on by his shout, Aletta took all of his strength and bawled, "I LOVE YOU!"
Before Severus could even comprehend her words, he saw a long, scaly body leap onto Aletta from the tree behind her and she shrieked with wholesome fright. Severus lunged his arms onto the critter that was wrapped around Aletta's neck and started to pull with all his might. It wasn't loosening, so he decided that killing it would be the only way to keep it from strangling her. But before he could pull his knife from his boot, the snake buried its white fangs into Aletta's arm. She screamed with all her might, and the snake unraveled itself from her neck and started to slither toward Severus. Before it could strike him, he pulled his knife out, but realized it was his wand. The snake lunged forward, and Severus rolled out of the way just in time. He threw his powerless wand to the side and started to sprint toward the river. The huge, green snake followed him with as much speed, snapping its fangs fiercely at Severus feet. When he reached the river, he lunged into it, searching for some sort of weapon with his feet. The snake hissed angrily and started to slither into the water. Closer and closer it came to its prey, and when it stopped right in front of Severus, it didn't realize the large rock Severus had in his clutch under the water. The snake coiled back, ready to strike. But just before it lunged, Severus used all his might to maneuver the rock above the snake and pushed it down on its head. Under the water, the snake's tail swiveled and swiveled as its head was crushed under the massive rock.
Severus stood there, rasping and panting like he had just learned to breathe. He pulled himself out of the river, relieved that the snake was gone. But his heart virtually stopped then and there when he heard Aletta's aggrieved cries coming from under the tree. He raced as fast as he could back to her gasping body. When he finally reached her, he threw himself down at her side and looked into her anguishing expression. His gaze then fell over her wound, bleeding mercilessly and soaking the ground. He pulled her body to his and wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her arm to his mouth and was about to suck the poison out of the punctures when she stopped him.
"I'm not going to make it, Severus," she rasped in a breathless voice into his ear as she reached her unwounded arm to his face, and pulled back to look at him. "But this is the way I would want it to be. To die in your arms."
Severus eyes widened as he heard her.
"No, no, no," Severus whispered as he clung her to him. "You're going to be fine. It's just a flesh wound."
Aletta barely laughed at him and said, "But I can feel the poison, Severus. It's coursing through my veins as we speak."
Severus let all his guard down. This woman that lie in his arms was the one he loved. He undoubtedly knew it now. Damn all his hardness to hell, he loved her with all his heart.
"I'm in love with you," he whispered gently as he looked into her half-lidded eyes. "You cannot leave me. I will not let you."
Aletta smiled at him and asked with bated breath, "Severus, do you truly love me?"
"Oh Merlin, so much," he rasped sharply as he put his forehead to hers. "Seeing you in pain makes my foolish brain listen to my heart. And what my heart was saying, is that I love you."
A tear escaped Aletta's eye, and Severus swooped his head down to kiss it away. "You are my first love, Aletta. And I will never let you go."
Aletta laughed lightly and said, "But I am dying, Severus."
"You are not going to die, Aletta," he said with anger in his voice. "And even if you did, death cannot stop my love for you."
Aletta's eyes suddenly closed fully and she whispered to him, "Promise me one thing, Severus."
"Anything," he answered quickly, ready to do anything and everything she asked.
"Will you tell my family, and Maya that I love them?" she asked, but no tears were shed from her eyes, but a smile was on her face, a smile of content.
"Of course," Severus breathed as he held her tighter to her chest.
"Thank you, Severus. For everything," she sighed for the last time.
Aletta's breathing became slower by the second, and Severus was finally sure that she was going to indeed die. Uncharacteristically, his eyes started to tear up and he ashamedly let them fall. The tears only increased in speed when he felt her last breath sigh against his chest. Her once clinging body was now lifeless, and he now felt half of his sorrow be replaced by anger. Severus murmured incomprehensibly to himself and shed tears silently as he rocked her inert body back and forth in his arms. It should have been me, he wished silently as he foolishly believed she would somehow open her eyes and live again. He was angry with himself. Angry that he had instead made an effort to kill the snake instead of rush to her side and save her. He felt like the Death Eater he once was, killing and murdering innocent people that deserved to live more than him. He cursed the heavens and himself for removing her beautiful life away from her. He hated himself so much he could not stand to look at her innocent beauty. The woman he had killed with his own hateful self-centeredness and harshness. From now on, he knew that this was the one death that would bring him down, the death that would soon lead to his own happy one. For doing this to his love he would never forgive himself for as long as he lived, which he hoped, would not be long.
Severus looked down at his lost love's smiling face as he took her hands in his, and leaned in for one final, soft kiss.
A/N: As you can hopefully see, this is not the end. Keep reading, please.
A/N: I advise you to read this poem in the beginning. It is very significant to this chapter, and you might be able to appreciate some of the parts better. Especially pay attention to the first and last stanza. In addition, it's a beautiful poem, and the poetic part of your mind can be enriched with a new flavor! Thank you.
I will not let thee go.
Ends all our month-long love in this?
Can it be summed up so,
Quit in a single kiss?
I will not let thee go.
I will not thee go.
If thy words' breath could scare thy deed,
as the soft south can blow
and toss the feathered seeds,
then might I let thee go?
I will not let thee go.
Had not the great sun seen, I might;
or were he reckoned slow
to bring the false to light,
Then might I let thee go.
I will not let you go.
The stars that crowd the summer skies
have watched us so below
with all their million eyes,
I dare not let thee go.
I will not let thee go.
Have we not chid the changeful moon,
now rising late, and now
because she set too soon,
and shall I let thee go?
I will not let thee go.
Have not the young flowers been content,
Plucked ere their buds could blow,
to seal our sacrament?
I cannot let thee go.
I will not let thee go.
I hold thee by too many bands:
Thou sayest farewell, and lo!
I have thee by the hands,
and will not let thee go.
- I Will Not Let Thee Go
by Robert Bridges (1844-1930)
"Bloody thorns," Aletta heard Severus growled as they made their way through a rose coppice.
"Why did we choose this path, then," Aletta said jokingly as a spike stabbed her right hand.
Snape halted and turned to glare at her, "If I knew a way of avoiding them, we wouldn't bloody be walking through here, would we?"
Aletta shook her head as she started to laugh, "Relax, Snape. I'm only kidding," she looked down at her hand where the thorn was still stuck in her skin, and blood started to trickle down her hand gently.
Snape must have noticed, for he started to approach her, cursing at the bushes as he made his way. When he approached her he took her hand in his the same way he did that morning and lugged the thorn from her skin. She let out a painful gasp as he tossed the thorn on the ground.
"Does it hurt?" he asked so gently that she looked up to see if it was really he.
Aletta shrugged nonchalantly as she gazed into his eyes and whispered, "I guess."
So many times were they in this situation where they could not pull their gazes from each other, and Aletta felt so many urges to leap upon him and confess her love. But that was way too dramatic for her, and she didn't even know if she wanted to tell him of her feelings. To tell him, and to be laughed or growled at in a reply, was something she couldn't endure. And she was determined not to take that hurting chance.
Severus looked away grudgingly and started to rip a piece of his robe off, causing Aletta to gasp inwardly. When he had ripped off a long size of the cloth, he started to bandage her bleeding hand with it.
"You didn't need to do that-" she started breathlessly, but he interrupted her.
"We foolishly left the bandages behind in the tent, as well as many other antibiotics and healing potions."
Aletta nodded in understanding and pulled her hand to her chest when he was done. The strong male scent of him was an erotic stimulus she didn't want to feel. And Severus' next move helped diminish it effortlessly.
"Every rose," he began silkily as he studied her with his menacing, black eyes, "has its thorns."
Aletta frowned as he turned his back to her to walk on. That upset her, even though he was simply stating a cliché. But he had meant it to describe her, hurt her . . .injure her, and it succeeded.
She saw ahead of her, the dark figure of Severus moving on. She never wanted to face him again. Not because of the dull truism, but because of everything. Yesterday's events, her frustrating love for him, his confusing demeanor. Running away and never looking back was such a welcoming performance to her at that moment. She couldn't face the confusion any more, the pain, the misery. In her heart she could what he was doing to her. Yesterday, he made a wild, glorious song burst in her heart. His endearing soul was pulling her into a promise of heaven and beyond. But had he meant it to do that?
"Aletta?"
Her eyes widened with surprise when she heard him call her name from afar. Her indignant eyes turned to meet his outline, which was further away than before. She ran after him, not paying attention to the jabs and pokes she received from the bushes. Her clothing was being somewhat ripped in the process, and when she approached him, she was met with an arched eyebrow.
"Enjoy being thrashed up, I see?" he jeered as he looked over her slashed attire.
Aletta ignored the sarcasm and said, "Where are we going anyway?"
"We are about to do a crazy attempt at collecting the Selimare's poison," he said as he broke a rickety, old branch off of a nearby tree.
"I see," this is it, she said, it's now or never, "Severus, I have to tell you something."
Severus broke another branch and said unemotionally, "Can't it wait?"
Unbearable bastard, she thought, but that's why I love him.
She smiled. "No, it really can't."
Severus thrust one of the branches at her and she barely caught it. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked angrily.
"Using the resources around us for weapons," he answered almost robotically. "Now tell me what you need to quickly so we can move onto more important things."
Aletta frowned at him and took a deep breath. Her feet somehow carried her over in front of him, despite her fear. She started to say it, but all that came out was a gurgle.
"I beg your pardon?" Snape asked with annoyance, as she blushed even more.
She tried again, but all that came out was stuttering. Why is this so hard to do? she asked herself.
"I . . . you see . . . I," she kept trying, but Snape was losing his patience with incredible speed.
"Spit it out, woman!" he shouted as he jabbed the ground with his branch.
Urged on by his shout, Aletta took all of his strength and bawled, "I LOVE YOU!"
Before Severus could even comprehend her words, he saw a long, scaly body leap onto Aletta from the tree behind her and she shrieked with wholesome fright. Severus lunged his arms onto the critter that was wrapped around Aletta's neck and started to pull with all his might. It wasn't loosening, so he decided that killing it would be the only way to keep it from strangling her. But before he could pull his knife from his boot, the snake buried its white fangs into Aletta's arm. She screamed with all her might, and the snake unraveled itself from her neck and started to slither toward Severus. Before it could strike him, he pulled his knife out, but realized it was his wand. The snake lunged forward, and Severus rolled out of the way just in time. He threw his powerless wand to the side and started to sprint toward the river. The huge, green snake followed him with as much speed, snapping its fangs fiercely at Severus feet. When he reached the river, he lunged into it, searching for some sort of weapon with his feet. The snake hissed angrily and started to slither into the water. Closer and closer it came to its prey, and when it stopped right in front of Severus, it didn't realize the large rock Severus had in his clutch under the water. The snake coiled back, ready to strike. But just before it lunged, Severus used all his might to maneuver the rock above the snake and pushed it down on its head. Under the water, the snake's tail swiveled and swiveled as its head was crushed under the massive rock.
Severus stood there, rasping and panting like he had just learned to breathe. He pulled himself out of the river, relieved that the snake was gone. But his heart virtually stopped then and there when he heard Aletta's aggrieved cries coming from under the tree. He raced as fast as he could back to her gasping body. When he finally reached her, he threw himself down at her side and looked into her anguishing expression. His gaze then fell over her wound, bleeding mercilessly and soaking the ground. He pulled her body to his and wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her arm to his mouth and was about to suck the poison out of the punctures when she stopped him.
"I'm not going to make it, Severus," she rasped in a breathless voice into his ear as she reached her unwounded arm to his face, and pulled back to look at him. "But this is the way I would want it to be. To die in your arms."
Severus eyes widened as he heard her.
"No, no, no," Severus whispered as he clung her to him. "You're going to be fine. It's just a flesh wound."
Aletta barely laughed at him and said, "But I can feel the poison, Severus. It's coursing through my veins as we speak."
Severus let all his guard down. This woman that lie in his arms was the one he loved. He undoubtedly knew it now. Damn all his hardness to hell, he loved her with all his heart.
"I'm in love with you," he whispered gently as he looked into her half-lidded eyes. "You cannot leave me. I will not let you."
Aletta smiled at him and asked with bated breath, "Severus, do you truly love me?"
"Oh Merlin, so much," he rasped sharply as he put his forehead to hers. "Seeing you in pain makes my foolish brain listen to my heart. And what my heart was saying, is that I love you."
A tear escaped Aletta's eye, and Severus swooped his head down to kiss it away. "You are my first love, Aletta. And I will never let you go."
Aletta laughed lightly and said, "But I am dying, Severus."
"You are not going to die, Aletta," he said with anger in his voice. "And even if you did, death cannot stop my love for you."
Aletta's eyes suddenly closed fully and she whispered to him, "Promise me one thing, Severus."
"Anything," he answered quickly, ready to do anything and everything she asked.
"Will you tell my family, and Maya that I love them?" she asked, but no tears were shed from her eyes, but a smile was on her face, a smile of content.
"Of course," Severus breathed as he held her tighter to her chest.
"Thank you, Severus. For everything," she sighed for the last time.
Aletta's breathing became slower by the second, and Severus was finally sure that she was going to indeed die. Uncharacteristically, his eyes started to tear up and he ashamedly let them fall. The tears only increased in speed when he felt her last breath sigh against his chest. Her once clinging body was now lifeless, and he now felt half of his sorrow be replaced by anger. Severus murmured incomprehensibly to himself and shed tears silently as he rocked her inert body back and forth in his arms. It should have been me, he wished silently as he foolishly believed she would somehow open her eyes and live again. He was angry with himself. Angry that he had instead made an effort to kill the snake instead of rush to her side and save her. He felt like the Death Eater he once was, killing and murdering innocent people that deserved to live more than him. He cursed the heavens and himself for removing her beautiful life away from her. He hated himself so much he could not stand to look at her innocent beauty. The woman he had killed with his own hateful self-centeredness and harshness. From now on, he knew that this was the one death that would bring him down, the death that would soon lead to his own happy one. For doing this to his love he would never forgive himself for as long as he lived, which he hoped, would not be long.
Severus looked down at his lost love's smiling face as he took her hands in his, and leaned in for one final, soft kiss.
A/N: As you can hopefully see, this is not the end. Keep reading, please.
