Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats

"What are we gonna tell her?" Luna gasped. Along with Autumn, Spot, and Jack, they stood around Blaze's bed in the sickroom, hoping she'd wake up, and at the same time wishing she'd rest a little longer, so they didn't have to break the news to her.

"We tell her da truth, what else can we do?" Spot asked. "She needs to know."

"It's goin' ta break her." Autumn whispered.

~~~~

"How ya feelin', Bums?" Blaze asked, brushing the hair from his face.

"I've been better," he answered honestly, giving her a small smile. His face had lost most of its color now, and he was skinnier than ever. Coughs ripped through his body constantly, though he still managed to smile.

"Me too," Blaze added. "Dis kid, it's makin' me throw up all da time. Must be yers," she teased and climbed into bed beside him.

"At least it's keepin' ya busy," he whispered and pulled her close.

Though Blaze tried hard not to talk about what was happening to him, today she found herself unable to keep completely quiet. "Bumlets. I-I don't wanna lose you."

"I ain't goin' anywhere just yet," he replied and stroked through her hair.

"But. I just. promise me you'll stay around awhile?" She slipped her arm around his stomach and looked up into his eyes.

"I promise. Now, what say ya rest wid me for a bit, okay?" he asked, yearning to change the subject.

"Okay." Blaze pulled up the covers and settled against him. "I love you," she mumbled before closing her eyes.

"I love ya too."

~~~~

"Where.what." Blaze groaned. She tried to open her eyes, but felt as if they were being heavily weighed down, and gave up trying to see through the blackness.

"Luna! Luna she's awake!" Autumn cried and rushed back to Blaze's bedside.

Autumn reached for Blaze's hand, gripping to it gently. "Blaze! Oh gawd we thought you'd never wake up!"

Wincing, Autumn's voice sounded like it had been magnified ten times and she was shouting directly into her ear. "Auty. Auty is dat you?"

"Yeah, it's me! I can't believe yer awake!" Turning towards the door, Autumn yelled for Luna again. "Luna, damn it, come on! Bring some more water!"

"N-not so loud." Blaze mumbled. She turned her head, this time managing to open an eye and gasped in pain. Her head was pounding, every muscle in her body ached, and she tried to lift an arm, only to find that she didn't have the strength to move. The room was spinning, and when it finally stopped, Blaze realized where she was.

"Sorry," Autumn frowned. "It's just. ya've been out for days. We didn't know when ya'd wake up," she explained.

"Days?" Blaze mumbled, confused. "W-why am I in here? H-he died in here. in dis bed. why am I in here?"

Autumn squeezed her hand. "Blaze we had ta let ya sleep in here. I know it's hard, but we had no choice. Da goils were too loud in da other room, and dis one is warmer. We found ya two days ago, lyin' in a heap in an alley. Ya. ya remember dat night?" She held Blaze's hand in both of hers, wondering how much Blaze could recall.

Blaze tried to move but her muscles scolded her immediately and she gasped in pain. She didn't want to be in this bed, but what choice did she have? "Da night. da night dose men. dey. I was walkin' back. dey stopped me. wouldn't let me go. I don't remember what happened den." Blaze whispered. "What did dey do ta me?"

"Ya was beat up pretty bad," Autumn explained. She knew Blaze wanted to know if they had done more than just beat her up, and Autumn hung her head. "Da doc said dat dey. had deir way wid ya too." She saw Blaze's eyes start to tear and gripped to her hand. "Luna, she managed ta see you when we went lookin', and we took ya to a doc. We just made it, too. Doc said ya lost a lot of blood, and at foist he wasn't sure ya was gonna be alright."

Just then Luna appeared in the doorway with a glass of water, and rushed towards the bed. "Blaze! Yer really awake!"

Wincing again, Blaze opened her mouth to ask Luna to be quieter, but Autumn beat her to it.

"Shh, she can hear ya just fine." Autumn gave Luna a concerned look. Blaze hadn't asked about her baby yet, and she didn't know if she could bring it up.

Catching Autumn's eyes, Luna sat down gently on the bed and took Blaze's other hand. "How do ya feel?"

"Horrendous." Blaze sighed. She wanted to run her hand over her belly, to tell the child things would be okay now, but as Autumn held one hand, and Luna the other, Blaze couldn't move. "What did da doc say? Is da baby alright?"

Luna and Autumn exchanged worried glances and sighed, neither wanting to explain what had happened.

Finally, Luna spoke up. "When we took ya to da doc, we told him ya was pregnant, 'cause he was wonderin' why so much blood was comin' out of ya."

"What?" Blaze interrupted.

Luna squeezed Blaze's hand and sighed again. "Blaze, dose men hurt yer baby. dey beat ya up so bad dat dey. dey killed it."

"N-no! Yer. yer wrong! Da baby's fine!" Blaze cried in shock.

"He couldn't save it, Blaze. He tried, he really did," Autumn assured her. "But ya was beat so badly, he almost couldn't save you, let alone da baby."

No. It can't be. Blaze fell silent. She felt like she had lost everything, that she'd been abandoned. Bumlets helped her past the loss of her family, and then she had lost him as well, and now his baby. She felt like everything she had ever truly loved had died.

"Blaze. Blaze it's gonna be okay. Yer gonna get through dis, it'll just take time, but we're here for ya. We ain't goin' nowhere," Autumn whispered. "Yer gonna be okay."

"She's right, Blaze," Luna agreed. "Yer just as strong as Bumlets. Ya can get through dis."

But what if I don't want to? Blaze asked silently. She couldn't open her mouth to speak. She started to sob, but the pain her attackers had inflicted on her made it incredibly hard to even cry. Tears running down her face, Blaze closed her eyes, hoping it was all a bad dream.

While Luna and Autumn held her hands, Blaze willed the pain to go away, and finally fell asleep, her body still exhausted from the other night, and her mind not wanting to deal with the loss of her baby.