A/N: This is going to be a longer chapter!
I happily roamed the corridor for hours before I heard it. In fact, I was on my way home when I decided to stop by Christine's mirror. Perhaps I wanted to tell Christine of the plot against her. Perhaps I just wanted to see her again. I don't know what made me want to stop there. Perhaps somewhere within me, some primitive feeling warned me of something not quite right. Even so, I was not prepared for it.
Christine and Raoul were together in Christine's room, sitting on the couch. They were discussing something in low voices, trying not to be overheard. Of course, I have particularly sensitive hearing.
"Raoul," Christine said. "I have tried telling you this before. He does not have a set pattern, or daily routine. He does what he wants, when he wants."
"Damn. Are you sure there's absolutely no time you know he's home?"
"No. Unless we're having a lesson. He always keeps his appointments then. Oh, but Raoul, I cannot schedule a lesson only so you can do him harm!" I was thunderstruck. Here was the woman I loved, and her lover, discussing how they were going to kill me! I had been betrayed, and as betrayed as a man can be.
"Christine, you cannot let your sense of duty and honor get in the way of this. Remember? He has already killed once, and we must assume he lived somewhere else before here where he also killed. People like him don't just kill once, it's in their blood. An unsatisfied urge. You cannot save him." Nor can she save you! I thought, and tried to find the switch to open the mirror. Too late I remembered it was welded shut. They heard me.
"Raoul! He's here, he's heard! We neither of us are safe!" She was absolutely hysterical. He tried to comfort her. I was too disgusted with myself for making such an amateur mistake. I stormed to the roof. Night had fallen, and I was safe. Safe in the arms of darkness, the only mother I had known.
"Why?" I asked the sky. "Why must you always curse me? You finally make me capable of having human emotion, then you mock me by letting me know it is never possible." I received no answer. I had not expected one. I did not even believe in God. Of course he would not answer me.
I climbed to the top of the statue and just sat there. Soon I began crying. The scene seemed so fresh in my mind. Once again I was stuck here. Once again, I was reliving that night three months ago when Christine had first betrayed me to the Vicomte. Now I was here again, reliving only moments ago when she had once again betrayed me. Only this time, the stakes had been higher. This time, the stakes had been set for my life. I didn't know if it was worth it anymore. There was nothing.
I had nothing, I was nothing, and there was nothing to live for. I was just an unhappy man, on top of a roof. Music had even seemed to desert me. There was nothing but a vast empty space. That's when I first thought of it.
I felt like I wanted to be part of the vast empty space. It wasn't that far away, just over the edge of the Opera roof. It would take no time at all to reach there. Once I got there, I would never have to worry about Christine, or the Vicomte, or love, or anything ever again. I would be part of the vast nothingness. It was where I belonged.
I was so close to the edge when I heard a voice behind me.
"Don't do it. Please don't." I turned my head, and saw someone I was not expecting to see.
"Mademoiselle, what are you doing here at this time of night? There are other things I'm sure you can be doing." Meg Giry just stood there, sighing.
"Let's just say I'm doing a favor for a friend. Stop."
"You know nothing of me."
"I know enough. That is why I am not scared. Please, just stop." She had kept a calm, steady voice throughout this whole conversation.
"You don't know why I'm here. Christine and that stupid boy are plotting to kill me Mademoiselle. Tell me, isn't that a good reason to surrender to the darkness?" She sighed again.
"You know she is still lost. Only you can help her find what she's looking for."
"All right. Now where's the Vicomte? He should be around here waiting to push me off while I'm distracted."
"If you looked down and too the left, you will see his carriage driving away. Christine is in her dressing room crying. Now goodnight Monsieur." With that, she went back down the steps. I looked back down over the edge. Suddenly, it wasn't the vast nothingness anymore. It was Paris. I did not want to jump into Paris. I returned to my own darkness.
I happily roamed the corridor for hours before I heard it. In fact, I was on my way home when I decided to stop by Christine's mirror. Perhaps I wanted to tell Christine of the plot against her. Perhaps I just wanted to see her again. I don't know what made me want to stop there. Perhaps somewhere within me, some primitive feeling warned me of something not quite right. Even so, I was not prepared for it.
Christine and Raoul were together in Christine's room, sitting on the couch. They were discussing something in low voices, trying not to be overheard. Of course, I have particularly sensitive hearing.
"Raoul," Christine said. "I have tried telling you this before. He does not have a set pattern, or daily routine. He does what he wants, when he wants."
"Damn. Are you sure there's absolutely no time you know he's home?"
"No. Unless we're having a lesson. He always keeps his appointments then. Oh, but Raoul, I cannot schedule a lesson only so you can do him harm!" I was thunderstruck. Here was the woman I loved, and her lover, discussing how they were going to kill me! I had been betrayed, and as betrayed as a man can be.
"Christine, you cannot let your sense of duty and honor get in the way of this. Remember? He has already killed once, and we must assume he lived somewhere else before here where he also killed. People like him don't just kill once, it's in their blood. An unsatisfied urge. You cannot save him." Nor can she save you! I thought, and tried to find the switch to open the mirror. Too late I remembered it was welded shut. They heard me.
"Raoul! He's here, he's heard! We neither of us are safe!" She was absolutely hysterical. He tried to comfort her. I was too disgusted with myself for making such an amateur mistake. I stormed to the roof. Night had fallen, and I was safe. Safe in the arms of darkness, the only mother I had known.
"Why?" I asked the sky. "Why must you always curse me? You finally make me capable of having human emotion, then you mock me by letting me know it is never possible." I received no answer. I had not expected one. I did not even believe in God. Of course he would not answer me.
I climbed to the top of the statue and just sat there. Soon I began crying. The scene seemed so fresh in my mind. Once again I was stuck here. Once again, I was reliving that night three months ago when Christine had first betrayed me to the Vicomte. Now I was here again, reliving only moments ago when she had once again betrayed me. Only this time, the stakes had been higher. This time, the stakes had been set for my life. I didn't know if it was worth it anymore. There was nothing.
I had nothing, I was nothing, and there was nothing to live for. I was just an unhappy man, on top of a roof. Music had even seemed to desert me. There was nothing but a vast empty space. That's when I first thought of it.
I felt like I wanted to be part of the vast empty space. It wasn't that far away, just over the edge of the Opera roof. It would take no time at all to reach there. Once I got there, I would never have to worry about Christine, or the Vicomte, or love, or anything ever again. I would be part of the vast nothingness. It was where I belonged.
I was so close to the edge when I heard a voice behind me.
"Don't do it. Please don't." I turned my head, and saw someone I was not expecting to see.
"Mademoiselle, what are you doing here at this time of night? There are other things I'm sure you can be doing." Meg Giry just stood there, sighing.
"Let's just say I'm doing a favor for a friend. Stop."
"You know nothing of me."
"I know enough. That is why I am not scared. Please, just stop." She had kept a calm, steady voice throughout this whole conversation.
"You don't know why I'm here. Christine and that stupid boy are plotting to kill me Mademoiselle. Tell me, isn't that a good reason to surrender to the darkness?" She sighed again.
"You know she is still lost. Only you can help her find what she's looking for."
"All right. Now where's the Vicomte? He should be around here waiting to push me off while I'm distracted."
"If you looked down and too the left, you will see his carriage driving away. Christine is in her dressing room crying. Now goodnight Monsieur." With that, she went back down the steps. I looked back down over the edge. Suddenly, it wasn't the vast nothingness anymore. It was Paris. I did not want to jump into Paris. I returned to my own darkness.
