Jurassic Potter chapter 4: Enter Grant
A/N: A Dilophosaurus is that dinosaur from the first Jurassic Park that spits poison and killed the fat dude, Dennis. And compys are those tiny little dinosaurs that swarm you from Jurassic park 2 and 3
Harry Ron and Hermione run towards professor Schnookies classroom but are immediately stopped by Draco Malfoy (Who had his arm sewn back on.)
Draco: Harry Potter
Harry: Draco Malfoy
Draco: Harry Potter
Harry: Draco Malfoy
Draco: Harry Potter
Harry: Draco Ma-
Hermione: [slaps Harry and Draco.] WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!
Ron: (who's working on the record for the worlds most highest person)[pointing at Hermione] ooooooooooooooooooo uwoooooooooooooooooo uh uh uwoooooooooooooooooooo you said shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Hermione: [Hermione slaps Ron for being a dumbass.] stop acting like a pre-schooler!
Draco: Granger you bitch, look at my arm!!!!
Hermione: [Slaps Draco again.]
Draco: Quit slapping me mudblood! Who do you think you are slapping me like that?
Hermione: I'm yo mama bitch!
Ron: Yeah she's yo mama bitch! HAHAHAHAHAHAH—
Hermione:[Slaps Ron] Watch your damn mouth!
Harry: Why can't all of you stop fighting [Starts to cry like a little bitch.]
Draco: Quit fuckin crying you little Pu—
Suddenly a pack of compys came up from behind and attacked Draco. He ran around screaming his head off running into various objects. He screamed in agony and terror as they tore bits of his flesh off. Since he couldn't see where he's going Draco fell down a large flight of stairs breaking every bone in his body by the time he reached the bottom.
Ron: umm………better him than us.
Hermione: Foul-mouthed punk deserved what he got!
Harry: All this death is depressing [Harry starts crying like a whiny little bitch again.]
Harry Ron and Hermione climb up the tower where professor schnookies class is but stop when they see a pair of Dilophosaurus patrolling outside his class. They hide around a corner.
Harry: Oh my god what are we gonna do!? [Harry starts crying again.]
Ron: I know! [Ron lights up.]
Hermione: I know!!
Ron: Who cares?
Hermione: [Slaps Ron.] Before I even learned that I was a witch I saw this movie, Jurassic park. There was a guy, a dinosaur expert named Alan Grant; we could summon him to help us defeat the dinosaurs!
Harry: [sniff.] But how will we summon him? Professor Schnookie has all the summoning books [Harry continues to cry like a little bitch.]
Hermione: Well I'm sure there's a book in the library!
Ron: and go all the way back there? Screw this; I'm going in to whoop ass mode!
Ron walks up to the Dilophosaurus and they immediately open their frills and spit on him.
Ron: What the crap? I know you didn't just spit a loogie at me!
The Dilophosaurus spit at him again.
Ron: Oh O.K. 2 can play that game! Nggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ron spits a gigantic loogie that completely covers the dilophosaurus, which really pisses them off. They chase Harry, Ron, and Hermione as they run to the library. They slamed the door shut and locked it. The Dilophosaurus started making a chirping-like sound. Harry, Ron, and Hermione started pouring through every summon book they could find.
Hermione: I think I found something!
Ron: What did you find?
Hermione: a muggle summon! What we have to do is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Alan Grant.
Ron: ummm… yeah. Can I get high?
Hermione: No.
Ron…too bad!!!
Ron gets high but Hermione slaps him.
Harry: All this violence is depressing! [Harry starts to cry like a little bitch]
Hermione starts to summon grant using a bunch of weird magical words.
Hermione: Setrium flenning strepath fiercium dinocra Alan Grant!!!
Suddenly in a puff of smoke a man in an Indiana Jones type getup appeared.
Grant: Hey, this isn't the set of Jurassic Park 4.
Hermione: We brought you here to help us.
Grant: Where's here?
Ron: Hogwarts, Duh!
Harry: The dinosaurs! You got to kill the dinosaurs!!! Ple-e-ease HELP!!![Continues to cry like a little bitch.]
Grant: Dinosaurs, What dinosaurs?
Suddenly a huge Spinosaur bursts through the library wall roaring fiercely.
Harry, Hermione, and Grant: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ron: [calmly.] Well, ain't that a bitch?
