DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lizzie McGuire or any of the characters in it (thank God!)

Oh and thank you ever so much to the people who reviewed the first two chapters, but I must admit - I didn't think humans were going to read it!

Shinethelight: Hehehe nice to know your neighbours make you laugh. o_O

Devil: Thank you, but I must admit this fic is so pointless I dunno why I'm posting it!

Red Carpet: I know, my sister told me I spelt it wrong later on. And yep you're right I should be a fan to post this - and I am! I was lying!!!

And to the random person with many symbols as a name: Hmm I don't think my life is messed up - but I do watch a lot of Trisha, so naturally all the madness comes from there!

Ethan and Gordo have come back to life in this chapter. LOL

Alexei Noire xXx :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 3: Shopping~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{In the shopping mall with Gordo, Miranda, Ethan Craft and Matt...oh and Lizzy}

Ethan: *holding Gordo's hand* Oh come on, sweety let's go to the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar WEOW!

Gordo: *kisses Ethan* No, honey we're in a mall...with girls. They don't want to go to such classy places.

Lizzy: You two make me fucking sick!

Miranda: Well I think it's sweet. *kisses Matt on the hips*

Matt: Why the hell did you just kiss my hips?

Miranda: Oh sorry, hun, I was aiming for your lips and I bent down too low and bippety-boppity-boop! I kissed your hips!

Lizzy: Why is everyone in a couple except me?

Ethan: Cuz you're such a tight-assed bitch who hates popular people.

Gordo: Oh come on, babe, don't be so hard on her - she IS blonde after all.

[Ethan and Gordo kiss]

Lizzy: What's THAT got to with anything? You're just GAY! What do you know?

Matt: Gay people *blows raspberry* What the hell are they on?

Gordo: What's that supposed to mean?

Matt: Well why would you wanna fuck anyone who doesn't have a pussy?

Ethan: Hey little boy, ever heard of anal sex?

Matt: *thinks about it* haha! You fucking fags!

Lizzy: Hey guys! We're talking about ME here, not tiny Matty who's going out with slutty Miranda!

Ethan: *laughs* Well you know, Kate's single - you could go out with her.

Gordo: Yeah! And seeing as Pooh Bear here is such good friends with Kate, we could set you two up on a date!

Lizzy: Wait a minute! Aren't we forgetting that I'm not lesbian, and neither is Kate for that matter - and who the fuck is Pooh Bear?

Ethan: *giggles* It's Gordy's pet name for me - I call HIM Schnoogums!

Miranda: You two are SO fucking gay.

Matt: Duh, bitch where ya been? You burn my dinner again, I won't fuck ya brains out.

Miranda: *apologetically* Oh I'm SO sorry honey cakes!

Lizzy: I don't even fancy Kate - get me Mark Hoppus and maybe I'd go out with him.

Gordo: Is he even still single?

Ethan: Yeah, I think he is - I'll give him a call.

Matt: Where are YOU going to get Mark from Blink 182's mobile number?

Miranda: We call them cell phones in the US, Matty.

Matt: I know, but the author's English so HE doesn't know that does he?

Ethan: I'm his nineteenth cousin, twenty-six times removed. I see him every Family Reunion.

Lizzy: *squeals* Ooh YAY! Ethan I'll love you forever if you do this for me! And I'll give you and Gordo my blessing!

Ethan: *hugs Lizzy* Thanks, Liz, you don't know what this means to me and Schnoogums.

Gordo: *also hugs Lizzy* I love you, Liz.

Matt: *hugs red haired lady who just passes by* I love you Rose! Come with me to New York, and leave Cal!

Woman: Fucking hell! YOU'RE Jack Dawson? I thought I killed you! *whacks her handbag over Matt's head* DIE! DIE! DIE!

Miranda: *punches woman in the face* Oh shit... she was a police officer - LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

[Lizzy, Miranda, Matt, Ethan and Gordo run for their lives out of the Shopping Mall and into the local brothel for sanctuary.]

[Exeunt]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #

HAHA! It just gets stupider and stupider! This story has no point whatsoever!

Tell me if you want another chapter...

Alexei Noire xXx :D