DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lizzie McGuire or any of the characters in it (thank God!)

Thanks to the following Reviewers for their Reviews:

Gordo'sGirl PapyrusAndInk: Hehe thanks for the advice, but I do know it's the most stupid thing on the Lizzie McGuire fanfiction section - but meh, at least I can be glad that I did it! Thanks for bringing it to my attention though - I feel so special now!

BlackLadyofDoom: Hehehe I think you preferred my Sirius story eh? Heh I wish I could write a Yu-Gi-Oh one - but I don't have a clue what it is! Bakura-chan!

Tvchick91: LOL! Someone who actually likes this ludicrous fic! Mwahaha! Thank you fairy much - but I must warn you it's incredibly stupid!

Lyn: ...Oh hello again!

Alexei Noire xXx :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 4: Date with Mark~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{At McDonalds, Lizzie and Mark Hoppus from Blink 182}

Mark: So...uh you're one of Ethan's friends?

Lizzie: Well actually I've fancied him for ages - but seeing as he's a fudge packer, you'll have to do.

Mark: Are you fucking serious? There are girls who would KILL to go out with me! I am Mark from Blink 182!

Lizzie: Hmm okay if you say so.

Mark: *standing up* Look, if you didn't want to go out with me then why ask for a date? And I paid for that Happy Meal you're eating you know!

Lizzie: So fucking rude, like. *gets up and begins to walk out but then stops and turns*

Mark: *angrily* Now what?

[Lizzie walks back to him and pulls him down into a raunchy kiss]

Lizzie: *pulls apart from kiss* So...whaddya think?

Mark: *rubbing chest* Hmm that was an okay kiss, but I don't think I'm gonna go out with an eight-year-old, especially when I can sleep with the hottest women at the click of my fingers.

Lizzie: *horrified* I'm thirteen!

Mark: *laughing* Whatever Barbie, now I gotta split - Ms Dynamite wanted to talk to me for some reason. See ya!

[Mark leaves McDonalds]

Lizzie: Oh God, what the hell is wrong with me? Gordo isn't even gay - I kissed him in Rome... Ethan can't go out with him - he's the hottest guy in school. And oh God - Miranda and Matt! What the hell is going on THERE? And since when have I started swearing?

_____________________________________________________________________

{At Godric's Hollow}

Lizzie: Wait a minute, Alexei - I'm not in Harry Potter! I shouldn't be here!

Lily: Who's Alexei?

James: Shut up and eat your gruel, Martha.

Lizzie: What the f...?

Lily: *laughs hysterically and pulls off mask to reveal Miranda*

James: *giggles and mask reveals Matt*

Alexei: Hey don't ask ME why this happened! I'm just the author!

Matt: You shouldn't talk to us, Lexxy.

Alexei: It's Alexei, and I'm leaving now *runs out of room, slams door and tyres screech*

Miranda: Well that was unexpected.

[Ethan and Gordo walk in, hand in hand.]

Gordo: So how'd your date with Marky go?

Ethan: Was he as cute as I imagined?

Lizzie: That's sick - he's you cousin!

Ethan: *shrugs shoulders* Meh.

Lizzie: He left, we kissed, but he left - said I was too young and not sexy.

Gordo: Maybe he prefers guys.

Matt: Why would ANYONE prefer guys?

Miranda: What are you talking about sweaty?

Matt: *smiling* I just don't get girls - us guys are rude, obnoxious and ummm well just plain wrong!

Gordo: Well, Jamie, opposites attract, eh?

Lizzie: I hate you people, I'm gonna go for a smoke.

[Exeunt]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#

That was SUCH a stupid chapter!! I think it's about the stupidest thing I've ever written apart from 'Ginny in the Wonderland of Oz'. Now don't forget those flames - it gets mighty cold here in the North of England!! *smiles*

Alexei Noire xXx =P