DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lizzie McGuire or any of the characters in it (thank God!)

Hehe and so the plot thickens! LMAO I'm actually getting positive reviews for this work of crap, which I certainly did NOT expect. *jaw drops* But anyways thanks to the following:

KT the Shimmer Skank: Thanks for your comment, yep ppl are passionate about it for some reason, LOL.

gLaSsBuBbLes87: Haha nice to know you like this fic, I hate Hillary Duff too - I'm gonna make sure she won't be allowed to sing in the UK, and away from me! My sister totally loves her, so this is a kind of way of getting back at her too.

Red Carpet: With all due respect, KT did not call you a retard directly. Also I don't think it's your place to call me a retard - but seriously I don't care. And I understand that some ppl actually do like the show Lizzie McGuire (hell knows WHY but they do).

Fiona: I agree!

Pyrodragon428: Believe me, I've written weirder fics.

Broadwaypoetess: Thanks for your reviews *smiles* Thank you for the cookies! *munches ravenously*

CHEATLETHEFLAG: Thanks...I think.

Alexei Noire xXx :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 5: The Dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{At the school Library}

Matt: Cuddle me good, Momma.

Ethan: I wish you wouldn't degrade women like that, Matthew.

Gordo: Gasp! You said his full name!

Lizzie: I can't believe you actually SAID 'gasp'!

Miranda: *cuddles Matt* I don't mind - I'm a good housewife!

Lizzie: *sighs* People think I'm a lesbian.

Matt: I don't.

Lizzie: *smiling* Thanks Matty.

Matt: I think you're a gay man!

Lizzie: Why you little.! *leans forward and strangles Matt*

Ethan: *suddenly camp* Stop it! Stop it now!

[Lizzie stops strangling and everyone stares at Ethan]

Miranda: Omigod - you're CAMP!

Ethan: No I'm not *pulls off mask* I'm the Queen!

Gordo: This can't be right - you were so good in bed!

Queen: That's because I'm not really the Queen! *pulls off mask* I'm Professor Snape!

Lizzie: There's got to be more masks. *pulls out gun and aims it at Professor Snape*

Snape: AARGH! No!! Okay - I'll pull off the main mask! *pulls off main mask to reveal ...

.................................... ............

Dad: Hey Lizzie *shakes her* you okay?

Mum: Should I call an ambulance?

Lizzie: *wakes up* What's going on, Mum, Dad?

Matt: *at door* Sounded like you had a bad dream - you kept yelling out stuff in Pig Latin.

Lizzie: *smiling and getting up* Whoa.. So that was all a dream!?

Dad: What are you on about, Lizzie?

Lizzie: Fuck me.

Mum: WHAT?

Lizzie: Sorry I'm a bit dizzy still...*fakes dizziness* It was all a dream!

Dad: Well it's now over, okay?

Mum: Now, we got in touch with a very nice looking young whore called Alyssa...

Lizzie: Whoa Whoa Whao! What the hell are you talking about?

Dad: Well we need to find you a lesbian life partner, seeing as Matt has Miranda.

Lizzie: *panicking* Miranda WHO?

Matt: I dunno her last name - all I know is that she's your friend.

Mum: *looks at watch* And you'd better get dressed soon - Ethan and Gordo are coming over to take us to the Gay Pride March with them.

Lizzie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[Exeunt]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~#

HEHEHEHEHE!!!

Stupid I know! But this is by no means the last chapter!!! There's one more for all you kerazy kids out there who want it!.........*silence*

Fine then! There won't be a last chapter unless you review!

Alexei Noire xXx =P