DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lizzie McGuire or any of the characters in it (thank God!)
Thanks for all da peeps who reviewed
psychial: YAY! At last someone describes this work as 'stupid'! I was waiting for that thanks!
Juicydrop-pop: Well, I tend to make everything about Harry Potter...
Cosmogal14: Yes I am English - I know this is an American programme but I can't be arsed to change too many things...meh. I even made a British Will and Grace fic - check it out!
Broadwaypoetess: thanks for the Oreos! (whatever they are...o_O) Snape is bushy?? Oh and I AM British, and I do say bloody and bugger all the time! ^_^
Gordo'sGirl PapyrusAndInk: ....Rrrright....
Okay this is the last chapter ever cuz this meaningless story needs to end!!!
Alexei Noire xXx =P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 6: A Girl Called Kill~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{At Lizzie's house on a Saturday afternoon}
Mum: Lizzie, get up off your fat arse and get a girlfriend!
Lizzie: *angrily* Shut up bitch - I don't think it's any of your business who I want to shag!
[Dad walks in with Matt]
Dad: Lizzie, Matt's found something in you're room that is of some interest to your mother and me.
Lizzie: *with wide eyes* You looked through my stuff??
Matt: Lizzie, you've been a ba-a-ad girl!
Dad: Care to explain this? *holds up magazine with pornographic pictures of rockstars*
Lizzie: WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?
Matt: Under your mattress - how lesbian is THAT?
Dad: Well?
Lizzie: *snatching magazine off him* I...like to read the articles...
Mum: *laughs* Yeah, and Gordo's relationship with Ethan is non-physical (!)
Matt: Ew, mental image...
Dad: *sits down opposite Lizzie* Honey, if you prefer men - that's fine with us, but you know we're gonna have a time getting used to this.
Lizzie: Oh do shut up! *reaches under sofa and pulls out a Revolver*
Mum: *tentatively* What are you gonna do with that Lizzie?
Lizzie: *cocks gun and points it at her Mum* Take a wild guess, missy *shoots*
Dad: LIZZIE! *gets shot*
Matt: Well done, Liz - now lemme have a g-*dies*
Lizzie: Mmmmhmmmhmmm HAHAHHAHAAAAA!
___________________________________________________________________________________________
{At a SlipKnoT concert}
SlipKnoT: # I've known faces that have disappeared in time, find me wrapped in glass and slowly soaked in lime...#
Lizzie: FUCK YOU! FUCK IT ALL! FUCK EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!
[Bassist of SlipKnot, Sid in the Clown mask notices Lizzie]
Lizzie: SLIPKNOT YOU RULE!!!
Corey: Okay we're gonna take a break now - but we want a fan to come up to the stage to mosh with us!
[Lizzie screams loudly and vehemently]
A few minutes break later.................
Corey: Right everyone - whoever catches my good man Sid's eyes here will come and mosh to da Max with us!
[Sid casts his eyes around the crowd and sees Lizzie jumping up with her stupid American happy blonde face and boy-loving cheeks]
Sid: HER! *points at Lizzie*
Lizzie: Oh MY GOSH! AAAAARGH!!! *runs up to the stage and moshes*
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
{Backstage}
Sid: Hey that was some pretty good moshing for a girl who looks so preppy and lesbian you know.
Lizzie: *angrily* What did you say?
Sid: Just kidding!
Lizzie: Good, I kinda fancy you ya know. *flutters Maybelline eyelashes*
[Lizzie pulls Sid in for a kiss]
Sid: Let's hit the road bitch!
Lizzie: Hell yeh! But... can you hear that?
[Scraping sound]
Sid: I think it's coming from over here *walks over to janitor's closet and opens it*
Lizzie: BLOODY HELL!
[Mark and Tom from Blink 182 are inside, butt naked and Mark is spanking Tom on his bare pink ass]
Mark: Like how rude!
Tom: Yeah, I mean can you not see we're a little busy here?
Lizzie: Mark - you're GAY!
Mark: Nope, we do this all the time - it's fun.
Sid: Aren't you supposed to be married, Tom?
Tom: Meh *shrugs shoulders*
Mark: Now leave us! *closes door and proceeds spanking Tom*
Lizzie: Well that was unexpected.
Sid: Yep, and d'you know what else is unexpected? Me and you going to Las Vegas to get married!
Lizzie: Let's do it babe!
[Sid lifts Lizzie up and carries her over to his Hippy Van and they drive away]
Sid: *driving* There's something I've been meaning to ask you - I heard that you were gonna release a single.
Lizzie: *laughs* Yeah, it's called 'So Yesterday' - you heard it?
Sid: Fuck no! It's gonna be incredibly shit, like all other pop music...except Madonna.
Lizzie: What are you saying - I can't sing?
Sid: Yeah
Lizzie: Well neither can you!
Sid: I love you.
Lizzie: *smiling* I love you too!
Sid: *laughs* We all set then?
Lizzie: *biting lip* Umm no - before we tie the knot I want you to take your mask off and show me your real face.
Sid: *shrugs* Fair does, but you have to take off your mask too.
Lizzie: *tensely* What mask??
Sid: Don't lie to me! *pulls off her mask to reveal Hillary Duff*
Hillary: Erp..
Sid: AAAAAAAARGH!!! It's hideous!!!
Hillary: Shut up, let's see your face now. *pulls off Sid's mask to reveal ...*
Sid: Come on then, honeybunch let's go to Vegas!
Hillary: *breathless* Uh...okay...
[And they drive off into the sunset, with their hippy van and the most unlikely pairing since Alexei Noire and Julia Roberts.]
[THE BITTER END]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#
Well, Well, Well people there thou hast it - the last chapter! Read and Review your thoughts upon it. And don't forget those flames!
I'm such a bad boy for ever writing this and making all the loser Lizzie fans feel sorry and cry into their Sailor Moon bedsheets but ah well.
Alexei Noireã xXx =D
Thanks for all da peeps who reviewed
psychial: YAY! At last someone describes this work as 'stupid'! I was waiting for that thanks!
Juicydrop-pop: Well, I tend to make everything about Harry Potter...
Cosmogal14: Yes I am English - I know this is an American programme but I can't be arsed to change too many things...meh. I even made a British Will and Grace fic - check it out!
Broadwaypoetess: thanks for the Oreos! (whatever they are...o_O) Snape is bushy?? Oh and I AM British, and I do say bloody and bugger all the time! ^_^
Gordo'sGirl PapyrusAndInk: ....Rrrright....
Okay this is the last chapter ever cuz this meaningless story needs to end!!!
Alexei Noire xXx =P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 6: A Girl Called Kill~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{At Lizzie's house on a Saturday afternoon}
Mum: Lizzie, get up off your fat arse and get a girlfriend!
Lizzie: *angrily* Shut up bitch - I don't think it's any of your business who I want to shag!
[Dad walks in with Matt]
Dad: Lizzie, Matt's found something in you're room that is of some interest to your mother and me.
Lizzie: *with wide eyes* You looked through my stuff??
Matt: Lizzie, you've been a ba-a-ad girl!
Dad: Care to explain this? *holds up magazine with pornographic pictures of rockstars*
Lizzie: WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?
Matt: Under your mattress - how lesbian is THAT?
Dad: Well?
Lizzie: *snatching magazine off him* I...like to read the articles...
Mum: *laughs* Yeah, and Gordo's relationship with Ethan is non-physical (!)
Matt: Ew, mental image...
Dad: *sits down opposite Lizzie* Honey, if you prefer men - that's fine with us, but you know we're gonna have a time getting used to this.
Lizzie: Oh do shut up! *reaches under sofa and pulls out a Revolver*
Mum: *tentatively* What are you gonna do with that Lizzie?
Lizzie: *cocks gun and points it at her Mum* Take a wild guess, missy *shoots*
Dad: LIZZIE! *gets shot*
Matt: Well done, Liz - now lemme have a g-*dies*
Lizzie: Mmmmhmmmhmmm HAHAHHAHAAAAA!
___________________________________________________________________________________________
{At a SlipKnoT concert}
SlipKnoT: # I've known faces that have disappeared in time, find me wrapped in glass and slowly soaked in lime...#
Lizzie: FUCK YOU! FUCK IT ALL! FUCK EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!
[Bassist of SlipKnot, Sid in the Clown mask notices Lizzie]
Lizzie: SLIPKNOT YOU RULE!!!
Corey: Okay we're gonna take a break now - but we want a fan to come up to the stage to mosh with us!
[Lizzie screams loudly and vehemently]
A few minutes break later.................
Corey: Right everyone - whoever catches my good man Sid's eyes here will come and mosh to da Max with us!
[Sid casts his eyes around the crowd and sees Lizzie jumping up with her stupid American happy blonde face and boy-loving cheeks]
Sid: HER! *points at Lizzie*
Lizzie: Oh MY GOSH! AAAAARGH!!! *runs up to the stage and moshes*
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
{Backstage}
Sid: Hey that was some pretty good moshing for a girl who looks so preppy and lesbian you know.
Lizzie: *angrily* What did you say?
Sid: Just kidding!
Lizzie: Good, I kinda fancy you ya know. *flutters Maybelline eyelashes*
[Lizzie pulls Sid in for a kiss]
Sid: Let's hit the road bitch!
Lizzie: Hell yeh! But... can you hear that?
[Scraping sound]
Sid: I think it's coming from over here *walks over to janitor's closet and opens it*
Lizzie: BLOODY HELL!
[Mark and Tom from Blink 182 are inside, butt naked and Mark is spanking Tom on his bare pink ass]
Mark: Like how rude!
Tom: Yeah, I mean can you not see we're a little busy here?
Lizzie: Mark - you're GAY!
Mark: Nope, we do this all the time - it's fun.
Sid: Aren't you supposed to be married, Tom?
Tom: Meh *shrugs shoulders*
Mark: Now leave us! *closes door and proceeds spanking Tom*
Lizzie: Well that was unexpected.
Sid: Yep, and d'you know what else is unexpected? Me and you going to Las Vegas to get married!
Lizzie: Let's do it babe!
[Sid lifts Lizzie up and carries her over to his Hippy Van and they drive away]
Sid: *driving* There's something I've been meaning to ask you - I heard that you were gonna release a single.
Lizzie: *laughs* Yeah, it's called 'So Yesterday' - you heard it?
Sid: Fuck no! It's gonna be incredibly shit, like all other pop music...except Madonna.
Lizzie: What are you saying - I can't sing?
Sid: Yeah
Lizzie: Well neither can you!
Sid: I love you.
Lizzie: *smiling* I love you too!
Sid: *laughs* We all set then?
Lizzie: *biting lip* Umm no - before we tie the knot I want you to take your mask off and show me your real face.
Sid: *shrugs* Fair does, but you have to take off your mask too.
Lizzie: *tensely* What mask??
Sid: Don't lie to me! *pulls off her mask to reveal Hillary Duff*
Hillary: Erp..
Sid: AAAAAAAARGH!!! It's hideous!!!
Hillary: Shut up, let's see your face now. *pulls off Sid's mask to reveal ...*
Sid: Come on then, honeybunch let's go to Vegas!
Hillary: *breathless* Uh...okay...
[And they drive off into the sunset, with their hippy van and the most unlikely pairing since Alexei Noire and Julia Roberts.]
[THE BITTER END]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#
Well, Well, Well people there thou hast it - the last chapter! Read and Review your thoughts upon it. And don't forget those flames!
I'm such a bad boy for ever writing this and making all the loser Lizzie fans feel sorry and cry into their Sailor Moon bedsheets but ah well.
Alexei Noireã xXx =D
