A/N: Just a small note here:
1) Onegai, read "Torment of Paradise" before you even read this fic. The character motivations will make no sense if you don't. Hell, the characters' general actions will confuse you; especially Jess and the whole story behind her and Duo and Quatre. And I have edited the chapters people, so they make more sense. Read the previous fic.
2) Assume the Oz and White Fang are present, via the split that came as seen in the show. What follows is a different take on the ending.
3) To all those who reviewed before ff.net took it down due to the content in Chapter Seventeen *curses abound for about five minutes*, I'll be more than glad to have any input you think would improve the fic.
4) Anelgoflightpd, the wedding fic you were asking about is coming....just taking me a bit longer than expected. I don't want something that screams predictability or something like Mary Sue. I haven't gotten that particular commentary yet and I don't wanna. ^^
5) And the final note: He's baaaaaaaaacccccccccccck!

When All Is Lost...

Chapter One

The hands on the clock seemed to take forever to turn. Every second seemed to drag on by, an immeasurable eternity, heightened by the disturbed feeling eating away at him inside. Quatre rose with frustration, running a hand through his hair. They shouldn't simply be sitting there like this, waiting to go off and die as if that was all they could do.

"Take it easy," a hand rested on his shoulder. "Wanna play a game or something?"

He looked back before smiling. "Sure Jess. That would help."

The rest of the pilots looked around uneasily as the chess board was brought out and they seated themselves around.

"Who wants to play first?" Jess asked in a light voice.

"Always like that onna." Wufei muttered. "This is a-"

"All right then, you first Wufei." she said with a faint grin, sitting down. You can play me."

"Fine." he said, seating himself in front of her.

Quatre couldn't help but smile; that's the way a conversation always went between Jess and Wufei; argumentative and borderline curt. He settled down in the chair, watching along with the rest. The game was amusing when the two of them played; the banter exchanged was colourful enough, helping al to relax, but he knew that Wufei was being 'nice' out of deference to his relationship with Jess. He glanced over as Duo nudged him.

"So what are you gonna do Q-man?" Duo asked in a whisper leaning in closer. "Decided yet? Have ya even told her?"

He shook his head before looking back at the game, the inner turmoil even more protracted. He still hadn't told Jess that he had been kicked out of the house and that was a few months ago. The only thing that had saved him was the fact that they were still in a war. But even that was looking as if it was going to end sometime soon.

"You cheated onna."

"I did no such thing. Maybe if you knew how to pay chess properly-"

"I do! It's a rook onna, how could you not see that? You cannot make that move!"

Quatre sighed. "Maybe you should just let it pass, I'm sure it doesn't mean very much now Wufei."

"Ach, it's all right." Jess aid with a wave of her hand. "I was gonna beat him anyway, no matter what move."

"You seem very full of yourself." Wufei said. "Back that up."

"Now, if I did that Wufei," she said rising. "Wouldn't that mean you would challenge me to another game to...win again?"

There was some chuckling on Duo's part as Jess rose and walked away with a stretch and yawn, heading for the couch. Quatre watched as she went, feeling a bit guilty; he really should tell her now before she found out on her own. As if prodding him, Duo nudged him once more in the side tilting his head towards Jess, who now lay on the sofa. When Duo gave him a particularly hard nudge he rose, giving Duo a look. He took his chair and went and sat beside Jess, who was staring out the window into space.

"Daijoubu ka1?" she asked, not looking at him.

"Yeah, I am." he said in a quiet voice; he had picked up on words and such during his convalescence. "You're very quiet today."

Jess didn't say anything, simply taking his hand and holding it in his. He looked down surprised to find it trembling slightly.

"Doushita2?" he gave her hand a squeeze.

"Hai. Iie3." she closed her eyes. "It's all going to end soon Q-kun. And I don't know if I can go back at all."

"Sure you can." he said. "You can go back home and live like a normal teen."

"Such nice words you say." she murmured. "You know none of us can ever be the same again. Integrating ourselves back into society won't be easy."

"No one said it would be." he said, dropping the pretence; even he felt a bit weary. "But we'll have to try."

She gave a sigh. "Do you feel a bit stretched inside? As if you could snap at something, at given anytime?"

"I feel as if this has gone on long enough." he said. "I'm tired of Oz and I just want to go away afterwards. Far away."

"That sounds like a plan." she gave a faint smile. "Go to Spain; it's really beautiful there, you'll love it." she remained silent for a minute. "And what about us Q-kun; you're going to be in the colonies and I'm going to be on Earth."

He paused, unsure of how to answer at this time; now might be best. "Look Jess, there's something I have to tell you."

"Hai? Nande4?" she looked at him.

He swallowed as he looked at her; her eyes seemed so weary and ready to leave and go back to the comforts of a normal teenage life. He stroked her hand with his fingers as he took a deep breath. "Jess, you know how-"

Quatre's words were drowned out in a wailing alarm, the red light flashing around the room. The other pilots rose and headed for the door quickly, going for their Gundams. Quatre went after them but stopped as he realized the Jess wasn't there. Looking back he saw her looking out the window, but standing now.

"Jess?" he walked back to her.

"Boku wa..." she paused, her voice heavy before she turned. "Come on."

Quatre went after her, noting the slump in her shoulders. He hugged her close, pressing a kiss to her head as they hurried down the corridor. Once they entered the hangar, they suited up quickly.

"Jess?" Quatre said before she slid her helmet on and went to Anansi.

"Hai?" she looked back at him.

Now she looked perfectly fine, as if nothing was bothering her. He didn't say anything, kissing her lightly. When he drew back, she had her eyes closed, as if imprinting the feel of his lips on hers. She held his cheek for a moment before she slid on her helmet and hurried into Anansi's cockpit. He went to Sandrock, entering quickly. One by one, the Gundams flew out, heading for the massive army that was headed their way. He gripped the controls more tightly; he knew what Jess was doing, it was the same thing that Duo did; she took care of everyone else when she needed it most. She was dying on the inside; he could feel the steady dull throb that refused to go away, gnawing away. When this was over, it would be his turn and not hers again.

1 Daijoubu ka = Are you O.K.?
2 Doushita = What's wrong?
3 = Iie = No
4 Nande = What