Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. That is just one of those things
that will never, ever EVER happen. If you want things that would happen in
the books, read the books....because I, sure as hell, am NOT Colfer.
AN: Well, I must say, this is the most varied response to any fic I have ever written. Thank you to all the people who enjoyed it and said so :). And to those wonderful flamers, thank you for telling me your opinions. I know it seems very sarcastic, but I actually do like it that people care so much to actually tell me that my fic is the worst they've ever read.
To clarify some things:
I said that Tara is a Mary Sue. What I didn't clarify was how she was a Mary Sue. Tara is like any one of my characters-I see the plot through their eyes. I want to know how they think, so I think in their way. I do the same thing with Canon characters, too, by the way. So in that sense, Tara is a Mary Sue. Sure, she's Asian, and I'm Asian, but the whole resemblance stops there. I wish it didn't, but heavens, do I wish I was her? Maybe a little, but for the most part-
AN EMPHATIC NO.
As for all those people who accuse me of writing down a cliché sort of thing for Artemis and Tara-
How do you know they're going to fall for each other, hmm? Ever think I was sick of all the OFC setting up fics too? Hm? Well....think about it.
Oh, and btw...MysticAngel4-are you reviews always as long as a chapter? Just wondering.
And Hpgirl2! Lovely, dear. I thank you. At least someone is as crazy as me.
Ice Raider: Uhm....thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
Hei, I'm trying to be nice here. Really nice. Normally, I would have done something drastic like go and flame your stories for the heck of it, but I've finally decided it ain't worth it. So yeah.
~Fic Starts Here~
Flying to Stonehenge, well, it was a breathtaking experience.
Meaning Artemis was taking all the breaths he could, because at the moment, Tara was doing some pretty curvy stunts.
Why she wanted him to feel what Kermit the Frog felt, he had no idea.
It was most definitely not easy being green.
Tara did one last loop-de-loop before dropping down on everyone's ex-pizza parlor.
A Mud Boy in the shafts.
Now THAT should be played on LEP's funniest Videos.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Formally, it was called a meeting of the species.
In reality, it was Commander Root trying not to strangle Artemis for being such a....Pretty-Fly-For-A-Mudman-Wannabe-Fairy-Who-Happened-To-Know-How-To- Take-Over-The-World sort of boy.
In the good Commander's words.
In Holly Short's words, it was just a large number of unprintable expletives involving certain bodily functions that would make Mulch Diggums proud.
It was not the Brady Bunch.
"Artemis Fowl, I cannot stress enough the danger of your current situation. You are trapped underground, in LEP territory, under MY laws, MY ways, and MY thinking. If you do not agree with our proposal, then you MIGHT leave unharmed, and I mean MIGHT...or you could just go along with it all and leave unscathed." Root was indeed living up to his name. Beetroot was an understatement. Molten metal was more to the point.
"You're lying. It says in the Book no senseless killing. Me not doing what you say qualifies as a senseless reason." Artemis replied, calmly flicking a dust mote from his fingertips.
Holly leaned forward as she fingered her gun. "Artemis, do you know what this is?"
He shook his head. For once, he didn't recognize something.
"This is a Neutrino 2001. It just came out. First class, if you know what I mean. It doesn't go against the Book to, ah....accidentally pull a trigger when the gun just HAPPENED to be pointing at you, and I'm sure there can be a moment when Commander Root here will UNINTENTIONALLY jostle me, thus causing me, in surprise to pull the trigger, and, ah, well, let's not think of the consequences. Sabe?"
Artemis stared at her. Well. That was unexpected.
"I think he sabe. In fact, I think he REALLY sabe. He sabe in a savvy sabe way that will-"
"Oh, DO SHUT UP TARA. Johnny Depp was wonderful."
"Yes, but DO you have to pull that line in every, SINGLE INTERROGATION?"
"It adds to the effect. And you're ruining it."
"Shutting up now."
"Don't shut up. Just think before you speak." Someone brayed in noxious laughter.
Holly smiled wickedly. "Hello Foaly. Kind of you to join us. Have you had the pleasure of meeting a Miss Tara Lai?"
Foaly went up to Tara and, for once, was polite. More than Polite.
"Hello, Miss Lai," he murmured, kissing her fingers, "It's wonderful to meet you."
She blazed crimson before, "Ah-er-ah-er-uhm, same to you. Foaly. Ch- charmed, I'm sure."
A Centaur? Being attractive to a SIREN?
Oh dear lord.
Send in the soap opera writers.
This wasn't a guiding light.
This was a guiding Missile of Destructive Powers.
She wanted to throw up with swooniness.
AN: Well, I must say, this is the most varied response to any fic I have ever written. Thank you to all the people who enjoyed it and said so :). And to those wonderful flamers, thank you for telling me your opinions. I know it seems very sarcastic, but I actually do like it that people care so much to actually tell me that my fic is the worst they've ever read.
To clarify some things:
I said that Tara is a Mary Sue. What I didn't clarify was how she was a Mary Sue. Tara is like any one of my characters-I see the plot through their eyes. I want to know how they think, so I think in their way. I do the same thing with Canon characters, too, by the way. So in that sense, Tara is a Mary Sue. Sure, she's Asian, and I'm Asian, but the whole resemblance stops there. I wish it didn't, but heavens, do I wish I was her? Maybe a little, but for the most part-
AN EMPHATIC NO.
As for all those people who accuse me of writing down a cliché sort of thing for Artemis and Tara-
How do you know they're going to fall for each other, hmm? Ever think I was sick of all the OFC setting up fics too? Hm? Well....think about it.
Oh, and btw...MysticAngel4-are you reviews always as long as a chapter? Just wondering.
And Hpgirl2! Lovely, dear. I thank you. At least someone is as crazy as me.
Ice Raider: Uhm....thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
Hei, I'm trying to be nice here. Really nice. Normally, I would have done something drastic like go and flame your stories for the heck of it, but I've finally decided it ain't worth it. So yeah.
~Fic Starts Here~
Flying to Stonehenge, well, it was a breathtaking experience.
Meaning Artemis was taking all the breaths he could, because at the moment, Tara was doing some pretty curvy stunts.
Why she wanted him to feel what Kermit the Frog felt, he had no idea.
It was most definitely not easy being green.
Tara did one last loop-de-loop before dropping down on everyone's ex-pizza parlor.
A Mud Boy in the shafts.
Now THAT should be played on LEP's funniest Videos.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Formally, it was called a meeting of the species.
In reality, it was Commander Root trying not to strangle Artemis for being such a....Pretty-Fly-For-A-Mudman-Wannabe-Fairy-Who-Happened-To-Know-How-To- Take-Over-The-World sort of boy.
In the good Commander's words.
In Holly Short's words, it was just a large number of unprintable expletives involving certain bodily functions that would make Mulch Diggums proud.
It was not the Brady Bunch.
"Artemis Fowl, I cannot stress enough the danger of your current situation. You are trapped underground, in LEP territory, under MY laws, MY ways, and MY thinking. If you do not agree with our proposal, then you MIGHT leave unharmed, and I mean MIGHT...or you could just go along with it all and leave unscathed." Root was indeed living up to his name. Beetroot was an understatement. Molten metal was more to the point.
"You're lying. It says in the Book no senseless killing. Me not doing what you say qualifies as a senseless reason." Artemis replied, calmly flicking a dust mote from his fingertips.
Holly leaned forward as she fingered her gun. "Artemis, do you know what this is?"
He shook his head. For once, he didn't recognize something.
"This is a Neutrino 2001. It just came out. First class, if you know what I mean. It doesn't go against the Book to, ah....accidentally pull a trigger when the gun just HAPPENED to be pointing at you, and I'm sure there can be a moment when Commander Root here will UNINTENTIONALLY jostle me, thus causing me, in surprise to pull the trigger, and, ah, well, let's not think of the consequences. Sabe?"
Artemis stared at her. Well. That was unexpected.
"I think he sabe. In fact, I think he REALLY sabe. He sabe in a savvy sabe way that will-"
"Oh, DO SHUT UP TARA. Johnny Depp was wonderful."
"Yes, but DO you have to pull that line in every, SINGLE INTERROGATION?"
"It adds to the effect. And you're ruining it."
"Shutting up now."
"Don't shut up. Just think before you speak." Someone brayed in noxious laughter.
Holly smiled wickedly. "Hello Foaly. Kind of you to join us. Have you had the pleasure of meeting a Miss Tara Lai?"
Foaly went up to Tara and, for once, was polite. More than Polite.
"Hello, Miss Lai," he murmured, kissing her fingers, "It's wonderful to meet you."
She blazed crimson before, "Ah-er-ah-er-uhm, same to you. Foaly. Ch- charmed, I'm sure."
A Centaur? Being attractive to a SIREN?
Oh dear lord.
Send in the soap opera writers.
This wasn't a guiding light.
This was a guiding Missile of Destructive Powers.
She wanted to throw up with swooniness.
