Konnichi-wa! No, the story is NOT over! I've got quite a few chps to go, and a sequel in the making. Updates will be every Saturday, unless something weird happens and I can't. So you'll be enjoying my Esca fics for awhile to come. C-ya!


Chapter 7-
Return to Fanelia

Merle ran into the clinic, shaking the rain off her body. She ran up to where Allen was, shivering as she cried. Allen put a blanket around her shoulders.

"I-I c-c-couldn't f-find her." her teeth chattered from the cold as she sat down on a bed, breaking down into tears again. Allen sat across from her, not sure what to say in reply.

"Where could she have gone? Why would she go? What if she's been captured?" Merle sobbed. Allen didn't want to tell her that Hitomi might have committed suicide, because if he did, he would have to tell her why she felt that way. He still hadn't forgiven himself for kissing Hitomi, but now that Van was getting married... what could he do? He wanted to make her feel better, however, she would not accept his love. All he could do was try to convince Van not to marry; that and that alone would make her feel better.

"I'm sure Hitomi's all right. Right after you left, Van arrived here." She looked up at him, her eyes bright with tears.

"He went out to look for her." Allen nodded at her. Merle smiled.

"That means that Hitomi is all right. Lord Van will find her." she said, sighing with relief. Allen stood up.

"Merle... did you know about Van's wedding at all?" he asked. She shook her head.

"Lord Van didn't say anything about it... and I didn't think he loved anyone, that is, except Hitomi..." she put her finger to her chin, trying to think of any evidence in Van's behaviour that would indicate he was going to get married. Then she had it.

"He did say that he was the only king without a wife about a week ago. Maybe when he went to the conference, he felt this lacking in his life." Allen thought about all the times he had seen Van in Asturia during the meeting; he had always been alone. He nodded, understanding what Merle meant.

"So I don't know." Merle continued, taking the blanket off her shoulders and rubbing her hair with it. "It's not like him to make such a sudden decision like that." Just then, Allen thought of something.

"Do you think that is why he left so suddenly two days ago?" Merle turned to him, her eyes wide, but she nodded in agreement. Allen walked toward the window, watching the rain come down upon his reflection. He hoped Van had reached her in time.

As he thought that, the door swung open wide. Merle looked up from her perch on Hitomi's bed, and Allen turned his head toward the door.

Van stood there, soaked to the skin, holding the lifeless body of Hitomi. Merle and Allen ran up to him.

"Lord Van, is she all right? She's not- not-" Van shook his head.

"She's just fine." he said simply, gazing down at the girl in his arms. "But we should warm her up." He lay her down on the bed Merle had been sitting on, smoothing back her hair.

"Her hair's all wet!" Merle exclaimed, running off to get some towels. Allen placed the blanket over her body, glancing back at Van. He looked tired as he gazed at Hitomi. Allen handed him a cloth to dry his face off until Merle came with the towels.

"Listen, Van..." Allen began as Van rubbed his face, looking toward him as he spoke. "I apologize for being so uptight back there. I just didn't think you'd-" Van looked away.

"What would you have done in my position? You're a knight... you can marry who you want!" he exclaimed. Allen sat down, folding his arms over his chest.

"I understand your position. I've been around you royals long enough. I just didn't think there was another woman out there for you, that's all. And I'm concerned about what it may do to Hitomi." They both looked at her as she continued to sleep peacefully. Van stared at his boots.

"Does she know?" Van asked. Allen nodded.

"I think so. Van, I understand that you must get married, but you should have told everyone, especially Hitomi." Allen explained gently. "Perhaps if you had, she wouldn't have done what she was about to do." Van looked at Hitomi, still unable to believe she would go that far.

Merle bounded into the room, handing a towel to Van and wrapping one under Hitomi's head. Van dried himself off quickly, throwing the towel around his shoulders. Then Merle turned to Van.

"Lord Van... you were so stupid to do that..." she began, but she stopped, jumping onto him. Van patted her, but he couldn't believe it; Merle had never scolded him in all the time he had known her. Still, he knew he deserved it.

"I'll make it up to you, and Hitomi. Tomorrow, we'll go back to Fanelia. I promise to wait, for both of you." He smiled, which melted Merle's anger, and she hugged him again. Allen went to the door, which was still open.

"It's late. Why don't we go to bed?" He left the room. Merle looked at Van, who couldn't take his eyes off Hitomi. She got off him, and stood up.

"I want you to be here when she wakes up." He was about to protest that when she darted from the room. He sat back down, tying his sword belt more securely to his waist. What would she think of him? She had collapsed into his arms a few moments after he had saved her, so he still didn't know. Would she understand his position as Allen now did? He could only wait until they arrived in Fanelia.

. . .

The next day dawned bright and clear, perfect weather for travelling. Hitomi had slept good through the night, so Van didn't doubt that she would recover by the time they had to leave. She was strong, she could do it. In fact, as Van was readying his horse for the journey back to Fanelia, she appeared, surprising even him with her quick recovery.

Hitomi made her way toward him and he couldn't help but turn his head from her direction. What did she have to say to him? When she reached him, Van looked at her. She didn't look angry, or even disappointed.

"Hello, Van." she said. They stood awkwardly for a moment. Then Hitomi spoke again.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Van nodded.

"Yes... yes it has." he agreed. Hitomi looked around the stable where she saw Merle tending to her own horse.

"I- I'd better go help Merle. So, I'll see you." She walked quickly away. Van watched her go. That was all? He wanted to go to her, but what could he say? Uh, Hitomi, I'm sorry but I'm getting married. Please don't hate me for it. Van went back to brushing his horse. But, what was worse, he didn't know if she did hate him for it.

He watched her from a distance, hoping that they would have some reason to talk. No opportunities ever came up though. Hitomi didn't even want to ride with him, instead she settled for Merle. The three made their way from Herisia, Allen waving them off. He said he would come to Fanelia as soon as he could.

The journey was a quiet one; in fact, it only took one day, even with a lunch break. When they did stop for it, Merle made sure she sat in between them, as if begging for the attention of both of them. This bold gesture on Merle's part made Van and Hitomi refrain from any conversation. Eventually though, the sun reached its peak and it grew warm. Merle, who had eaten quite a lot, soon grew drowsy and fell asleep on Hitomi's lap.

As Hitomi lay Merle on the blanket they had set out for lunch, Van spoke.

"Hitomi, do you hate me?" She looked at him in surprise.

"No! Van, I'm just a little-" Hitomi couldn't find the word. "I'm just a little confused. Why are you taking me to Fanelia with you? I mean, your fiancee may... you know-" She stopped. Van drew closer to her.

"Hitomi..." he began, "Do you remember how I was? I was a king in hiding, with no power, or even a city. If you could only see Fanelia now, it's beautiful. I want to share it with someone." Hitomi lay her hand on his.

"I thought... you'd share it with me." she said, looking into his face. Van took his hand away.

"I can't- Faye might-" he turned away, clenching his hand into a fist. They sat like that for awhile until Van stood up.

"Wake Merle up. We should get going." he turned around, departing from her rather stiffly. She gazed after him, but then turned to Merle, shaking her slightly. Merle woke up quickly, being a cat, and saw Van walking away.

"Are we going now? Wait up, Lord Van!" She got up and chased him toward the spot their horses were tied up. Hitomi stood up slowly and followed Merle, her head down.

. . .




The trio reached Fanelia early the next morning. It was as beautiful as she remembered, but it had a few differences since it had been rebuilt. Many of the guards recognized Hitomi and greeted her warmly. She waved to everyone she knew as she lugged her bag with her.

"I'll take that." Merle offered, and she carried it off with one arm. Hitomi stood, gaping at her strength before she realized that they had gone on ahead. "Wait up!" she exclaimed, waving her arm as she ran to catch up. They came upon Van's manor. It looked completely different from the one from before the fire. It was much more grander and aloof, decorated with statues and pillars like the ones she had seen in Asturia. Kind of like Van; it's different. Hitomi couldn't help thinking.

They entered the stately manor, where some servants relieved them of their luggage. Merle asked Hitomi if she could look through her things. Hitomi said she didn't mind as long as she put it away. Merle ran away with her 'treasure' as the two remaining made their way upstairs.

"Van, could I meet your fiancee? Just so she won't- you know-" Hitomi wasn't sure if he would know what she meant.

"Of course." He began walking up the stairs, Hitomi not far behind. For some reason, Van didn't go to Faye's room; instead he went to the study, the place he had left her in. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling she would be here.

He opened the door, and sure enough, Faye sat there on the window seat, looking out the window. When she heard the door open, she stood up.

"Van!" she ran over and hugged him. Hitomi flinched; she was just a little girl. As well, she had totally ignored her.

"Faye, I'd like you to meet someone. She's my dearest friend." Friend. That was it. Faye looked over at Hitomi and smiled.

"Hitomi, this is Faye Genthilia. Faye, this is my friend Hitomi Kanzaki." Hitomi approached the two and smiled.

"It's nice to meet you, Princess Faye." She didn't know if she should shake Faye's hand, or curtsy, or hug her, so she stood there, feeling silly. Faye curtsied to her.

"Van's said so much about you. Oh, Hitomi, you will attend our wedding, won't you?" She clasped Hitomi's hand in hers. Hitomi glanced at Van, who looked a little nervous.

"Of course, Princess Faye." She said, looking at her again.

"Don't call me 'Princess'. Just Faye will suffice." she smiled. "Please, won't you be my bridesmaid? I would be honoured if you were. This will so perfect!" Hitomi smiled; she liked this girl. She was so full of life. It surprised her, how much she liked Faye. Hitomi had expected to hate her because after all, she was marrying Van, whom she loved.

"What's this now?" The three looked at who had spoke. It was a tall man with dark skin, clad in tan-coloured garments with a rather long cape flowing from his burly shoulders, all the way down to his massive laced-up boots. Hitomi was sure he must be a king. Faye smiled when she saw him.

"Oh Hitomi, this is my father, King Gendas, ruler of Genduta." she introduced him. He stepped up to shake her hand. Gendas had a strong grip; that of a man who was sure of himself and of his position in life. After he let her hand go, Hitomi rubbed her wrist when he wasn't looking.

"Van Fanel." Gendas turned to him, "What time today is the ceremony to be held?" Van was taken aback; he wasn't planning on holding the wedding today!

"King Gendas." Van drew in a breath, "We only arrived back today so I don't think any of us are quite ready..." The king's expression turned from good-natured to one of indignation. He stood up to full height.

"Are you telling me that the most important day of my dear daughter's life is being postponed?" he said. Van stepped back in as Faye approached her father.

"Please, Father. It's all right with me if it's held off for a few days. After all, it should be special, shouldn't it? And to be special, it needs preparation." She smiled, glancing at Van, who turned his embarrassed face away from them. Gendas softened at his daughter's words.

"If that's what you want, dear. I'll see you later, Van Fanel." With a swish of his cape, he turned on his heel and left them, his heavy footsteps echoing through the spacious hall. Hitomi watched him leave as Faye tried to excuse him.

"He's probably just annoyed that he had to come all this way and the wedding isn't even going to be today. Father is rather impatient in that way... Oh, Hitomi! You know what?" Faye changed the subject. "I will make your dress! I've been sewing my whole life and just last summer, I made my cousin's wedding dress..." She continued talking, asking Van to bring her fabric for the next day.

Eventually, Hitomi and Van escaped when Faye decided she needed inspiration from some of the pictures of various dresses she had brought with her. She positively pushed them out the door for privacy. The two stood at the door for awhile, hearing the sounds of banging drawers and thump of books.

They were alone again. Hitomi looked toward Van. He stood gazing at the door, his expression fixed. She looked toward the floor, not sure what to say to him. It can't be anything about us.

"She seems nice." Hitomi said, as cheerfully as she could. Van, with effort, turned his head in her direction.

"Hitomi." he said, grasping her hand. She was surprised at his gesture. He led her from the door, down the hall toward one of the empty rooms. Hitomi entered first, scanning the room he had brought her to. It was the room that she had first seen Van practice his swordsmanship with Vargas. Being a training area, it was spacious except a few mats spread out over the floor. The windows were blocked off with curtains, giving the room a dark aura to it.

Van turned his back to her as he shut the door behind him, clutching the knob, hanging his head. Hitomi turned her back to him as well; now that they were alone, she just couldn't hold back anymore. Her tears started to flow silently. It was dark, Van wouldn't see, and what did it matter? He didn't care.

But he did care. Van approached her from behind, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Hitomi." he whispered in her ear. She shrugged her shoulders, forcing his hands off. Putting her hands to her face, Hitomi kept sobbing.

"Van, it's not working. I tried but- I- I just can't be happy for you and Faye." She kept shaking her head, her voice muffled. Van held his arms at his sides.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Hitomi." he repeated in a choked voice. Was that all he could say? However, she spun around quickly and embraced him. As she did, her weeping obtained a voice and she sobbed aloud. Van could only put his arms around her and hold her tight.

"I must marry her. Hitomi, you're independent. You don't need anyone like she does." Independent. I can live without anybody, she thought as she hugged him closer.

"We both need to give of ourselves for her. You need to be strong. For Faye's sake... and for mine, as well as your own." Hitomi looked into his eyes. She could see pain in them as well. Was this decision as hard for him to make as it was for her? He had really come to love Faye, Hitomi could tell.

I'm intruding on his life, she realized in horror. If I hadn't come back, it wouldn't have been as hard for him. Hitomi closed her eyes. If only I hadn't come back, she thought bitterly. However, she couldn't change it now. All she could do was wish them well. It wasn't so bad. At least Van was all right. Wasn't that all she had ever wanted for him?

"Van." she said, her decision made, "You go ahead and marry Faye. I really want her to be happy." Van gazed at her, amazed at her sudden change of mind. He embraced her closely, stroking her hair affectionately. Hitomi shed the last of her tears of jealousy, ready to accept that she had moved on as he had.

In the dark room, they held each other, almost as if trapped in the time of that still moment. Hitomi didn't want it to end, but she knew it would... and all too soon.