Xander woke up at 8:30, showered and shaved, and was ready to go job hunting by 9:15.

"How was the party?" Giles asked as he sat at the table in a robe.

Xander grunted, as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"That good?"

"Let's just say that Buffy seemed to have a much better time than I did."

"I'm sorry, Xander."

"You know, half the time, I feel like if I just keep being there for her, keep doing my best to make her laugh, and make her feel better, that one day she'll notice me as more than just her 'Xander-shaped friend.' The other half. . . I feel like I should just get over it. Like I should just be realistic, and understand that being her friend is the best I'm ever gonna get."

Xander drained his glass and slammed it hard on the counter. "Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth the trouble. If any one person is worth so much. . . aggravation. That's not the right word, but I don't know what is. Sometimes I just question it all, you know? And then I look at her, when she laughs at one of my stupid jokes, or when she just smiles. . . and I get all melty inside."

"A friend once told me that the beauty of any dream is in never letting it go," Giles said. "I can't tell you that everything will work out as you wish it to, nor, in fact, that anything will. But you must follow your heart, Xander. For what else do we have to guide us?"

"Yeah," Xander said. "I guess you're right."

"So, do you have a plan of attack for the day?"

"Pretty much go to some construction sites and beg for a job."

"That seems reasonable. Oh, I almost forgot," he said, picking an envelope up from the table. "This is for you."

Xander walked into the living room and took the envelope from Giles. He emptied it into his hand and held up the key that fell out and raised an inquiring eyebrow.

"For the front door," Giles explained. "I got Oz to have it made yesterday. Willow dropped it off this morning before her classes."

Xander smiled. "Thanks, Giles. I hope I can give it back to you soon."

"Nonsense," Giles said. "Keep it, even when you do get your own apartment. Xander, I want you to know, you always have a place here. I. . . know that we are not actually related, but over the past years, I have come to view you all, and love you all, as if you were my own children. And I want you to know that I will never abandon you."

"I. . . Thank you, Giles. I don't really. . .Thanks," Xander said, his eyes watering up a little.

"Yes, well," Giles said, cleaning his glasses, "I also have to run out of town tomorrow for a few days to get a few books that may help us from a friend in D.C., and I thought you might appreciate being able to actually get inside."

Xander laughed. "Thank you."

* * * * *

Willow opened the door to her dorm room and, seeing Buffy still asleep, tiptoed in quietly, but forgot about the door, which slammed shut.

Buffy sat bolt upright, then, confused for a moment, and looked around.

"Heya, sleepyhead," Willow said. "Sorry about the door, I didn't realize it would shut so loudly."

"That's okay," Buffy said, still looking around.

"Didja lose something?" Willow asked, sitting down on her bed.

"Um. No. . ." Buffy said, frowning. "You didn't. . . um. . . happen to see Parker, did you?"

"No, why would I. . . ohmygosh!" Willow said, her eyes widening. "Really?"

Buffy nodded, smiling sheepishly. "But, he doesn't seem to be here now."

"I'm sure he just had to go to a class or something," Willow said, jumping on to Buffy's bed. "Now I want details."

Buffy grinned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "He was so sweet," she started, and then went on to tell the events of the party the previous night.

"And then he walked me home, and. . . I invited him in."

"And," Willow asked, "how was. . . it?"

"It was. . . nice," said Buffy. "I mean, it was pretty good, I think, for my first time since. . . well. . . you know."

"Uh huh," said Willow. "Um, Buffy? Don't you think this was a little fast? I mean, just the other day you were pining over Angel, still, and now. . ."

"I know. . . but. . . it just seemed right. . . I mean, he was so sweet, and understanding, and. . . and he made me feel good."

Willow looked at her questioningly, a little, but then seemed to accept her answer. "So, when are you gonna see him again?"

"I don't know," Buffy said. "We didn't really talk about that."

"Well, I'm sure he'll be back by later. After all, who could resist the feminine wiles of Miss Buffy Summers?"

* * * * *

Xander knocked on the door to Buffy and Willow's room. He heard a quick thump, and the door opened violently.

"Parker?" Buffy asked, brightly. "Oh. Hi Xand."

"Wow, can we try that once more with even less feeling?"

"Sorry," she said. "I was just hoping it was Parker. Come on in."

"Thanks," he said. "Will around?"

"Bathroom," said Buffy. "What's up?"

"I wanna wait till Will gets here before I tell you."

"Tell her what?" Willow asked as she walked through the door. "Hi Xander."

"Heya, Wills. How's my favorite witch?"

"Doin' good," she said. "My History of the Early American Colonies class seems like it's gonna be real fun. Oh, and the psychology class me and Buffy have at three o'clock should be really good. I ran into one of the TA's in the bookstore this morning, and he said Professor Walsh is great."

"That's great Will. Glad you're enjoying yourself. How bout you, Buff? What've you been up to today?"

"Sitting. And sleeping. I should really get ready for class, though," she said, getting up to gather her shower supplies.

"Hold on a sec," Xander said. "I got news."

"What's up Xan?" Willow asked.

Grinning, Xander held up an ID badge. "I got a job!"

"That's great!" Willow said, giving her best friend a hug. "Where?"

"Jameson Construction," he said. "They just lost a couple of guys to Sunnydale's insane turnover rate, and were excited at the prospect of somebody who's a lifetime resident. I guess they figured if I grew up here, I can handle the craziness."

"Congratulations, Xander," Buffy said, smiling at him. "That's really great. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Buffster,"

"I'm gonna go shower now," she said. "You gonna be here a while?"

"Nah, I need to go tell Giles. You guys were on the way back, so I decided to stop in."

"Okay. You up for a patrol tonight? I need to get back in the habit."

"I'm your guy," Xander said.

"Great," Buffy said. "Bye Xan."

"Later, Buff," he said, watching her as she walked out the door.

"So," Willow said. "Did you meet anybody at the party last night?"

"Yeah, actually," Xander said. "A drunk girl named Candy."

"Candy?"

"Yep. And she did nothing to make me rethink my completely irrational name- based stereotypes," Xander said, lying down on Willow's bed. "Buffy seemed to be having a good time with that guy, though. She say anything to you about him?"

"Well. . ."

"What?"

"I got back from class a couple hours ago, and accidentally woke her up, and she was. . ."

"Wills, you're killin' me here."

"She was surprised that he wasn't here."

"WHAT?" he yelled, sitting up. "You mean she. . ."

Willow nodded.

"With him?"

Willow nodded again.

"GAHHH!!!" he yelled, slamming himself back down on Willow's bed and holding her pillow over his face.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. You still kinda like her, huh?"

"Kinda a bit, yeah," he said sarcastically through the pillow. "AHHHHH!!!"

With this last yell, Xander accidentally ripped the pillow in half.

"Oh, geez, Will, I'm sorry."

"Oh," Willow said, surprised by the emotion in Xander's voice. "No, no, that's okay. I umm. . . didn't need it."

"I'll get you a new one by tonight, Will. I'm sorry, I just. . ."

"It's okay, Xander. Don't worry about it."

"But I. . ."

"Hey," Willow said, putting on her resolve face. "I said don't worry about it. See the face?"

Xander laughed. "I love you, Willow Rosenberg."

"I know," Willow said, smiling. "It's cuz I'm the bestest best friend in the whole world."

"Ain't none better," Xander said, standing up. "Okay, I'm gonna go see Giles."

"Kay," Willow said, going to give Xander another hug. "She'll see it eventually, Xan. You'll see."

"I hope so," Xander said, kissing his best friend on the top of her head. "Bye Wills."

"Bye Xander."

* * * * *

"You ok, Xan?" Buffy asked, as she and Xander strolled through one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries that night.

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

"I dunno," she said. "You seem quieter than usual."

"Oh," he said, stopping and turning to face her. 'God, she's gorgeous' "I guess I'm just worried about this job. Just hoping I won't screw it up, you know?"

"Hey, none of that," Buffy said. "You're gonna do so good at your job that we'll have to work extra hard to destroy stuff, just so you can rebuild it."

"I don't think this town will ever lack things to rebuild. I've just never had a real job before, you know? It's kind of scary."

"You mean to tell me that you can be involved in blowing up a huge mayor- turned-snake, facing down a vampire who was known as the Scourge of Europe for over a hundred years, and, lest we forget, dating Cordelia, and you're scared over a job?"

"Yeah, well, most of that stuff was about helping other people. This is a one-hundred percent Xander-centered thing. I've never been too good at that stuff, and are you ever going to stop making fun of my ex-girlfriend?"

"It's not tops on my to-do list, no."

Xander threw his hands up as if surrendering.

"I give up," he said.

"Look, Xan, it's not that Cordy didn't have her good points. . . few, though they may have been, but. . . it's like I said that other time. I just think you can find somebody more. . . better. . . and there's a vampire behind you."

"You, too," he said.

Both turned to face their opponents. A couple of blocked punches and quick stake thrusts later, in an almost identical fashion, both vampires were dust, and the two friends continued to walk.

"See, that's just the thing," Xander said, as if nothing had happened. "I'm not sure I can find somebody better. Cordy brought out some good stuff in me. . . and I did in her. We were good for each other. I mean, she's not nearly as shallow as she used to be. Plus, she was human, which is more than I can say for some of my other flings."

"Same here," Buffy said.

"Buff, I wouldn't exactly call that a fling. I mean, you guys were together for a long time."

"Angel still wasn't human, though. And I think that's what I need, now. A nice, normal mortal who won't turn all evil if he gets a happy. Like Parker." Xander winced, but Buffy didn't notice. "And you need that too, just one who isn't quite so. . . Cordy-esque. Okay, pre-you Cordy-esque. A nice girl."

"Yeah, but we live on a Hellmouth. From what I hear, it's hard enough to find a 'nice girl' like that, even when you don't have to constantly battle the forces of evil."

"Speaking of which, there's another one. You want?" she asked, pointing to another vampire who was coming out of the ground about twenty feet away.

"Yeah," Xander said, pulling the broad sword he had borrowed from Giles's arsenal out of the bag he was carrying. "I wanna test the new toy."

"I'm not gonna fight you with a sword," the vampire said, wiping the dirt off his suit. "That's just crazy! You'll cut right through me!"

"That's kinda the point," Xander said, approaching the vampire.

"Hey, I may have just risen tonight, but I'm not stupid. Either I get a weapon, or I leave."

"I'm not gonna negotiate with you!" Xander said. "You're evil!"

"But you're not," said the vamp. "Come on, fight fair."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Xander said, "Fine, fine. Buffy, toss this guy the other sword would you?"

"I dunno, Xander. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Hey, he won't even touch me," Xander said. "I swear."

"Yeah," said the vampire, grinning. "I won't even touch him."

"Oh, fine," Buffy said, grabbing the other sword from the bag Xander had dropped. "Here," she said, tossing it hilt first to the vamp.

"Are you ready now?" Xander asked.

"Yeah!" the vamp said.

"I'm so happy. Shall we?"

"Let's."

Xander and the vampire both brought their weapons up. Xander attacked first, bringing his sword in high. The strike was blocked by the vamp, who deflected Xander's sword off to the left with more force than Xander had expected. Attempting to take advantage of his opponent's momentary unbalance, the vamp brought his sword around to slash at Xander's side. But, taking advantage of the length of his sword, Xander stuck the blade in the ground and pushed off it to land a roundhouse kick on the vamp's face before it could finish it's attack. Continuing his turn, Xander pulled the sword back out of the ground, swung it around and took of the vamp's head in one smooth motion.

"Nice moves, Xan," Buffy said from her spot a few feet away.

"Thanks," he said. "Call it a night?"

"Yep," she said, walking over and picking up the sword. "What's with these guys anyway? It's almost too easy these days."

"The demon community is really just taking anyone they can get now."

"I know," she said. "It's kinda sad."

* * * * *

"Hey guys," Xander said, following Buffy into Giles's apartment.

"Hey, man. Congrats on the job," Oz said.

"Thanks," Xander said, grinning. "I guess I get to become a 'useful member of society' now."

"Shouldn't you get, like, a tax exemption for every demon you kill?" Buffy asked. "You're saving the taxpayers a lot of money by not letting them die. Funerals are expensive."

Laughing, Xander said, "I'll be sure to write my representative. We found anything new on me?"

Everyone looked up at him. "You know, or the big evil world-endy thing, whichever."

"No," Giles said. "No luck on either front, I'm afraid. Perhaps my trip will be of some assistance in that area."

"We can but hope," Xander said. "Ok, I'm gonna turn in early, guys. I got job training in the morning."

Willow smiled at him. "Night Xander," she said.

"Good luck," Buffy said as Xander wandered towards the back of the apartment. "I'm pretty tired, too. Wanna head back to campus, Will?"

"Sure," she said. "I think we've pretty much exhausted what's here, anyway."

"I'll drive you guys," Oz said. "I think Devon wanted us to practice tonight, so I might as well head off, too."

"Night, Giles," Buffy said. "Have fun on your trip."

* * * * *

Two days later, evening.

"I'm a slut! I'm a dirty, dirty slut, and this is exactly what I deserve," Buffy said, crying.

"Honey, you're not a slut," Willow said.

"I am!" Buffy yelled. "Why else wouldn't he have called, or, or come over? It's cuz he decided he doesn't like stupid, slutty, easy girls, and that's exactly what I am!"

The two girls were sitting on Buffy's bed, Willow trying to comfort her friend.

"Buffy, you're not stupid, and you're not a slut! You've had sex a whole two times! That's not even the most in this room."

"But then why?" Buffy whined.

There was a knock at the door.

"Go away!" yelled Buffy, throwing her pillow at the door.

The door opened slowly and Xander poked his head in. Seeing Buffy crying, he immediately entered the room and rushed over.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Grabbing another pillow, and hugging it to herself, Buffy yelled, "I'm a whore! Get out your money, boys, Buffy's pants are open for business!"

Xander's brow furrowed.

"Parker hasn't called, or come by, or. . . well, or pretty much anything," Willow said.

Xander's eyes widened. "You mean he just. . ."

"Yeah," Willow said, holding Buffy as she continued to sob.

Xander stood up, looked at Buffy, nodded, and stormed out of the room.

"See?" Buffy said. "Even Xander thinks I'm dirty! He can't stand to be in the same room as me!"

"Sweetie, that's not why he left," Willow said, smiling.

"Why then?"

"Best guess? Sunnydale PD's gonna have a non-mystical murder to investigate pretty soon."

"What?"

"Well, I don't think he'll actually kill him, no. He'll just scare an apology out of him, and make sure Parker thinks twice before ever doing something like this. Sweetie, he used you. Figured out you were vulnerable and used that to. . . well, do what he did."

"Why is Xander doing that, though?" Buffy asked, still confused.

Willow laughed. "Buffy, come on, it's Xander."

"What do you mean?"

Willow looked at Buffy, kind of shocked. "You mean you don't know?" Buffy shook her head.

"Xander would throw himself into the pits of Hell to stop you from getting hurt, if he could. And Parker's gonna get the. . . physical manifestation of that."

"Oh," Buffy said, still a little confused.

Willow chuckled. "Yeah 'oh.'"

* * * * *

The door on the Phi Sig house exploded off its hinges and into the house, followed quickly by a very angry Xander.

"Where is he?" Xander yelled, looking around for somebody to threaten. A couple of shocked frat brothers looked at him. Xander approached the closest one, picked him up by the neck and slammed him against a wall.

"Where is he?" Xander repeated, quietly.

"Where's who?" the guy choked out.

"Parker. The asshole. Where is he?"

"I don't know any Parker, I swear!"

Xander threw the guy to the floor and put his fist through a wall.

"Somebody tell me where Parker is right now!"

"He's upstairs," somebody said. "Third door on the left."

"Thank you," Xander said, running up the stairs.

Finding the third door, Xander took a deep breath, and knocked on it.

"Go away!" a voice said. Xander could hear Marvin Gaye being played on the other side of the door.

He knocked again.

A half naked Parker ripped the door open, saying, "I said go aw. . . oh crap."

Xander peeked around him at the fully naked young woman on the bed. "Candy," he said, shifting his glare back to Parker, "I think you better leave."

Candy looked at the expression on Xander's face, then quickly gathered up her clothes and squeezed past the two young men.

"Look, man," Parker said. "I don't want any trouble."

Xander advanced on him slowly, balling his hands into fists and flaring one nostril.

"I mean. . . look, you've been there. It's just sex, right?"

Xander swung.

* * * * *

"How long do you think that can go on?" asked one of the frat brothers gathered at the bottom of the stairs, listening to the crashes and thuds coming from the room Parker was in.

"It's been ten minutes," said another. "How much more can there be to break?"

As if on cue, the door opened, and Xander strode out, virtually dragging a badly beaten Parker behind him and down the stairs and out the door.

"I guess that's that," said the first one, as they all watched Parker.

"Yeah," said the second.

"Hey, didn't he come here with that Buffy chick Parker worked the other night?"

"Yeah."

"Remind me not to touch her."

"Yeah."

* * * * *

Willow opened the door.

"Hey Xan. . . oh," she said, moving out of the way as Xander thrust a fully beaten and bruised Parker through the door, holding him up by his neck. Parker had two black eyes, a bleeding nose and lip, a few cuts on his arms and legs, and some bruises on his still-bare chest.

"Say it!" Xander yelled, shaking Parker violently.

"Uh. . ." Parker moaned. "Buffy, I'm sorry for what I did to you, and I will never do it again."

"And?" Xander asked.

"And I should feel honored that you decided to choose me, because I know I am not worthy of you, or in fact of any female that Xander has ever come in contact with. I am worthless scum, and plan to spend the rest of my life atoning for what I have done."

"Good. Buffy, anything else you want him to say?"

Buffy shook her head, shocked at what she saw.

"Okay then," Xander said, turning Parker around to face him. "Now listen to me, you little shit. If I ever hear that you even look at either of these girls, or that you walked by their dorm, if I even get a HINT that you thought about walking by here, I'm going to get REALLY angry. Do you understand me?"

Parker nodded very quickly. . . or what would be considered very quickly for a man in his state..

"Good," Xander said, throwing Parker through the still-open door. "Now leave."

And with that, Willow slammed the door shut.

Xander walked over to Buffy and knelt down in front of her. "You're not gonna be bothered by that little snot anymore," Xander said. "I know you liked him. . . and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from him. But he doesn't deserve you."

Buffy, who had still been looking at the door, turned towards Xander with wide eyes, then launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a hug.

Xander stood up, holding Buffy close to him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Nobody does that to one of my girls," he said.

'That looks right' Willow thought, watching her two friends and smiling.

There was another knock on the door. Willow looked at Xander, who smiled sheepishly.

Willow opened the door, confused to find Oz holding out a large brown bag.

"I was told we had an ice cream emergency," he said, holding up four plastic spoons with his other hand.

__

(Flashback)

Xander walked up to a payphone and searched his pockets with one hand.

"Hey Parker, you got any quarters?" he asked.

"Fuck you!" Parker spat.

Xander slammed Parker face first into the phone booth.

"Sorry, what was that?" he asked.

Parker mumbled something, reached into his jeans and handed Xander a quarter.

"Good," said Xander, patting him on the head. "See how nice it is when you cooperate?"

(End flashback) __

Buffy looked at Xander. "When did you call Oz?"

"Umm. . . on the way over here?"

"You mean," asked Willow, "you were marching Parker over here, battered, bruised and bloodied, and stopped at a payphone to call Oz to bring ice cream? Didn't Parker try to. . . oh, I don't know, escape?"

"He didn't have much choice in the matter," Xander said, breaking out a goofy grin. "Besides, it was his quarter, anyway."

Buffy laughed, and motioned for Oz to come inside, removing herself from Xander and sitting down on her bed.

"You know, Xan," Buffy said, quietly, "I appreciate what you did, but I don't think that's the best application of your new. . . powers."

"My what?" he asked, confused.

"The um. . . you know, shield, and speed, and stuff."

"Oh yeah," Xander said sheepishly. "That. Uh. . . I kinda. . . didn't. Use them, that is. I uh. . . forgot?"

"You mean, you beat up that ass all on your own?" Willow asked, surprised.

"Well. . . yeah," Xander said. "I mean, I have spent the last three years as Sunnydale's most human demon hunter, I think I can take one guy. Besides, I was really pissed."

Oz walked over to Willow, and whispered in her ear, "Who's Parker?"

* * * * *

"So when does Giles get back?" Buffy asked, quietly as she and Xander sat on her bed.

"Around three tomorrow afternoon," he replied. "His flight gets into LAX at like one, I think."

"What's it like, staying in his place all alone?"

"It's kinda creepy. I keep walking out expecting to see Giles, even in his robe, lookin' all Hugh Hefner. Not to mention the books. I've never slept in a place with so many books, except for the few times I got knocked out in the library."

Buffy laughed, and looked over at Willow's bed.

"They look so peaceful, don't they?"

"Yeah, they do," Xander said, looking at Oz and Willow sleeping quietly in each other's arms. "I think it's time for me to give up on big brotherness for her. Well, the menacing 'I kill boys' part of it, anyway."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She's happy. That's enough. Now if I could just get that for my favorite Slayer."

"Awww, that's sweet."

"Yeah. I just don't know when Faith's gonna get out of her coma."

Buffy smacked Xander in the face with her pillow, knocking him onto his back.

"Oh, I see how it is. I'll get you, Summers," he said, turning towards her and raising his hands menacingly.

"Oh, no, you wouldn't dare," she said, backing up towards her headboard.

"Oh, I would most certainly dare," he said, slowly advancing on her.

"Xan, I'm not kidding."

"Neither am I," he said, moving closer.

"I'll beat you up!" she said

"If you can get at me," he said, pouncing on her and tickling her with all his might.

"That's not fair!" she said, through her laughter.

"Who ever said I fight fair?"

"Ow! Stop! Stop! I give, I give!" she said, curling over in painful laughter.

"The master and still the champion!" Xander said, raising his arms in victory.

"Yeah, yeah," Buffy said, recovering. "You only win because your arms are so much longer."

"Shhh!" said Willow from her bed

"Sorry Will," they said at the same time.

"So I win because you're short?" Xander whispered.

"I am not short. I'm cute."

"Well, there's no denying that one."

Buffy smiled at him.

'That's the Buffy I love' thought Xander.

"Xan?" she asked, softly.

"Yeah?"

"Am I a slut?"

"Buffy. . . no. Never," he said.

"But, I mean, I slept with him on the first. . . pseudo-date. I am. I'm a big, nasty, dirty slut."

"Buffy, listen to me," Xander said, looking her straight in the eyes. "You are not a slut. Okay, maybe you made a bad decision, but you know what? Who hasn't? I slept with Faith. . . well, ok, she used me and dumped me on the street half-naked, but still. Nobody can know exactly how to act all the time. But that doesn't make you a slut, or anything even close to that. You made a mistake, but you're still the same Buffy that we all know and love. Plus, you've saved the world a few times, I think that cuts you a little slack in the moral ambiguity department."

"How do you do that?" she asked, with a smile on her lips.

"Do what?" he asked, confused.

"Make me smile, even when I don't want to."

"Oh. I dunno. I guess it's. . . a kind of a thing."

"A kind of a thing? Isn't that what you said about your new super powers?"

"And what would you call the ability to make a beautiful woman smile?"

Buffy blushed and looked away.

"I should probably get going," Xander said, looking at the clock. "I have to be at the site in 4 hours. I get to do actual work today, instead of just training."

Buffy grabbed his arm.

"Don't."

"Don't what?" 'Did she just say that? Did I just say that?'

"Don't go. Stay."

"Buffy, I. . ."

"I'll set my alarm," she said. "You won't miss work. I just. . . need you to be here."

Xander sighed and nodded.

As Buffy set her alarm clock for 7:30, Xander lay face up on her bed. She lay down next to him, and rested her head on his chest.

'I'm holding Buffy' he thought. 'I'm in Buffy's bed and I'm holding her.'

"Thank you," she whispered. "For being you."

"It's all I know," he said, holding her a little closer.

"G'night Xan," she said.

"Goodnight, Buffy." 'I love you.'

-------------

End Chapter 4