Hello again *waves like a lunatic*! Anyway on with the story! Check out how freaky Wolverines acting…makes you wonder huh?

CHRISTMAS EVE

Why I was there I don't know, I had stopped being a resident of this side of the mansion years ago, but I had felt compelled to stay last night, I shall offer no explanation as to why, because I didn't think there was any explanation, except maybe that it was Scott and the brats off key singing that did it.

I wandered, in as masculine manner as is possible, to the downstairs bathroom, which was just like the en-suites upstairs except that everyone used it because the water pressure in the shower was better. I was sure they kept a spare toothbrush around here somewhere (apparently the old one that I had left in my bedroom here was used by Ash to clean the toilets with).

I rummaged through the bathroom cabinets, hell it looked like I'd have to use that old toothbrush after all. I reached behind the toilet and found a box, so this is where they hide their new toothbrushes now do they?

I opened the box and stared at the contraption in front of me, so where are the bristles? I got out the instruction manual, maybe I had twist it to get the bristles to pop out, you know what the Worm boy's like with his gadgets and all that. Ok so why would I wanna do that with a toothbrush??

I looked at the heading and stood stock still for a minute trying to let the information sink into my Adamantium reinforced skull. I was more shocked then a snail told that's its long lost father was in fact the King Elephant from Ireland, how could this be? It was a…pregnancy test!!!?!

I sat and soaked in the bath, ahhh, this was the life. Okay so I had to wear a bikini because I often got called out of the bath and as a way to combat that I left the door unlocked with a sign on it that said 'I'm in the tub, but feel free to come in if your business is important…unless it's Jean or Scott in that case run along home!' So when I bathed (for anything up to 5 hours) I usually had a constant stream of people in and out, people wanting things signed, people complaining about Kat, Tristan wanting a chat about his love life or lack therefore of and Jubilee coming in for some 'quality time' (i.e. to chew my ear off about something). Today I feared would be no exception, but dammit I only had a proper soak once a bloody week usually it was just a quick shower then to my destination, and I was determined to make the most of it.

Crash, Smash "Argh!"

I frowned, it sounded like someone was being attacked downstairs. I sighed, it was probably just Kat attacking Bounce with an ice cream cone again, its funny how well they wedge into her eye.

"Where is she? Where is she?" I heard a frenzied yell

It had to be a Kat related incident I thought sinking lower into the warm bubbly water.

'The emergency services should set up a desk especially devoted to Kat related incidents' I though lazily as I soaped up my arms, oblivious to the sound of heavy footsteps on the stair.

The bathroom door burst open

"You know it is customary to knock" I said with out even looking up from where I was making patterns in the water with the bar of soap.

The only response I got was a soft growl.

That snapped my head up *he* never came to my bathroom.

"We need ta talk kid" He held out a towel and wrapped me in it gently as I stepped out of the bath, which was slightly uncharacteristic.

At that moment a bloody nosed Tristan stumbled into the room.

I sighed "Okay boys into the living room I'll be right down after I've chucked some clothes on!"

In the living room.

"Okay lads what' all this fighting about?"

"You should know! The way he carry's on, you would never believe he was going to be a father, with all of them racy women and fast cars…or is that the other way round?" Wolverine ranted

"I'm going to be a father?" Tristan's little face was one of sheer horror and terror.

"Tristan what have I told you about contraception?" I lectured

Wolverine looked at me strangely. I rose above the situation however by ignoring him.

"There's only one thing to do, some one will have to make an honest woman out of you!" Wolverine said eyes bugging out slightly

"What have I got to do with anything?" I asked puzzled

Wolverine sighed and spoke really slowly as one would when explaining something complex to Kat "You…are…pregnant…can…not…be…single…

mum…teams…reputation…. In… shatters"

I looked at him as if he had grown three heads "How am I pregnant surely you need to have…er…umm…." I cleared my throat "…you know!"

"You mean you haven't?" Wolverine looked a mixture of shocked and relived

"No!" It suddenly hit me what he was suggesting "Urgh! With Tristan?? Couldn't your warped fuddy duddy mind come up with anything better than a relationship between me and Tristan?" I laughed, in fact I laughed so hard I was having to clutch my sides to stop them splitting, Tristan soon joined in.

It took me a long time however to realise that Wolverine was not laughing, I stopped and cleared my throat

"Well if this ain't yours, then whose is it?" He asked holding up what appeared to be the box of a new toothpaste tube

"It may surprise you to find this out Mr. tell me the meaning of personal hygiene, but we all…" I waved my hand vaguely around the house "…use toothpaste!"

"Its not toothpaste darlin'!" He gritted his teeth "It's a pregnancy test!"

"Bollocks!" I exclaimed, while Tristan sighed with relief he hadn't slept with any of the Retribution girls, not that I knew of anyway.

I began to pace around the room with anxiety.

It wasn't long before the living room door was flung open by a cheerful face.

"Bounce how could you?" It shot out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"How could I what?" She said entering the room Richard hot on her heels.

Wolverine shot up from where he was sat and punched Richard in the face with a crunch of bones, Richards bones. Richard looked up startled; he really didn't know what had hit him.

"Um guys what's going on?" Bounce asked as Tristan took her elbow and guided her gently to a seat.

"Its okay, it'll all be okay!" I soothed her feeling very awkward…just what do you say to someone who's pregnant.

Wolverine knelt in front of her "Its gonna be okay, I'll make an honest woman outta ya and raise it as if it's my own, I won't expect anything in return, but I'll help where I can!"

I stood stock still, was Wolverine proposing to Bounce?? He must have been at the ol' wacky backy again, that he pretends (to dumb ass Scott at least, who actually believes him!) is tobacco, he'd really started a few months ago when he had a visit from someone named Viper.

"We'll raise what together?" Bounce looked confused now.

"The child, *Your* child!" Wolverine looked imploring

Okay, so his hormones must be playing up maybe he had reached the doggy (oops did I say doggie I meant male) menopause.

"Um guys I haven't got a child" Bounce was looking around her for the nearest escape route.

Wolverine however turned his attentions to Richard.

"You bastard!" He spat squaring on him "How could you do this and then leave her to face the consequences alone…what kind of animal are you?"

Richard blinked holding a wet cloth (the one Tristan had been previously holding) against his mashed up nose. "A worm actually!"

I laughed good old Richard, now we were in for some entertainment. I rubbed my hands together with glee.

"Smart arse!" Snickt

"There's something which I think I left on in the lab" Richard ran out of the wing, with Wolverine hot on his heels.

"By the way the answers no, I don't date Furbies!" Bounce shouted after Wolverines retreating form

An hour later

As much as I hate to admit it, we got it wrong, we knew now that it wasn't Bounce who was pregnant; the sad fact was though that we didn't know who was. I must say I had my doubts about the Bounce theory from the beginning, after all to my knowledge Bounce and Richard never even spoke in their spare time let alone…well you know! I just thought that maybe Wolverine had some kind of insider information.

Now we were waiting for the return of the real culprit. Jubes and her boyfriend Marshall (the mutant) had gone early morning last minute Christmas shopping. It was her return that I dreaded the most, Wolverine was bound to make a scene and embarrass himself, and the others around him, more then he already had.

As if on cue Jubilee walked through the door barely able to see over the top of her parcels and gifts.

Wolverine looked at her with tears glistening in his eyes (maybe it was Mystique!)

"Darlin' why couldn't ya have told me?"

"Well I know you don't like shopping and especially on busy days like today and it was early…" She began before being interrupted by Wolverine gently taking her delicate hand with his own beautiful one, as he knelt before her.

Unfortunately the lovely gesture was marred by slight tragedy as Wolverines head got pelted with several gifts and boxes. He repressed the look of potato anger on his face before continuing lovingly.

"Not that darlin' why couldn't ya have told me about ya state?"

"What state? State as in New York State?" She asked him puzzled

"Darlin' I know that neither of us want or need a complication in our lives, hell your like a daughter to me, but I can't let you become a single mum" Jubilees mouth opened "Will ya marry me?" Jubilees mouth opened so wide she looked like one of those snakes that can disjoint their jaw.

"Um Wolvie ya know I love ya and all, but er firstly I aint pregnant and secondly I wouldn't marry you if I were" Jubilee looked like she was going to laugh

Relief flooded Wolverines face.

Ohhhh that left just one person, Kat!

Oh dear Kats pregnant!? Can you imagine what little buggers they'll be?

Logan: Dear god! Shall I just kill myself now?

Ellie: Would you?

Logan: No!

Ellie: Awwww but you said….

Logan: snickt

Ellie: Oh well never mind! Please er Review and I'll hopefully see you in the next chapter gulps though I wouldn't get your hopes up! Remember reviews is what this authors world go round, so to keep the Retribution world spinning donate just 1 review! end sales man persona Anyway bye Waves before running into a wall