Its been awhile since I've updated but here is the new chapter! Its Wolverines POV! Thank you to NCSGirl, Oracles Maiden and Ha.Ha.What (Jess and alter ego Sharley) for reviewing!
A/N: My little (evil) Kat muse is currently taking a break in NCSGirls fic so check her out there! Oh and she shall be enetering the X Big Brotherhood Mansion within the next few days so go check her out there as well!
The red headed kid, whose name I choose at this moment to erase from my memory, stalked into the room and kicked the Christmas tree we had risked everything to steal yesterday, ungrateful brat. However I found myself softening towards her when I remembered her hormones must be raging due to her condition.
"What's up kid?" I ask coz it don't look like anyone else was gonna bother, well Hank usually does this stuff but he's too busy stroking his swollen belly eyes misting over, yes he was taking a turn to wear the pregnancy suit.
Kat (unfortunately my memory decided that I should always remember this lil' freak) sniffled.
Bobby ran to her side "What's up snuggle bum?"
"IM NOT PREGNANT!" She wailed clutching him to her as one would cling to a life raft when stranded in the ocean
"If you're not pregnant then who the hell is?" I exploded; dammit I knew I couldn't trust that Bounce girl to tell me the truth, unless Ash had been lying in which case someone was going to be strung up by their testicles.
"Ohhh I wanted to be a daddy!"
Hank threw Bobby an ice cube from his drink
"Yay we're parents!!" Bobby squealed cradling his ice cube
"Anyway if you ain't pregnant then who is?" I asked again, god that girls thick, she looked at me blankly for a moment
"Simple…" She began before grinning evilly (it was quite frightening really not that I would ever admit to it, I'm much too macho to be scared by a whippersnapper like her) "…Mel!"
"Grrr!" Snickt
Kurt paled (well as much as a blue mutant can) before gulping and then Bamph!
"Come back here elf and I'll make sure this never happens again!!!! Kurt!! Kurt!!! Where the hell did he Bamph to?" I asked seeing red
Hank pointed meekly to the floor
A minute later
I re entered the room dragging an unconscious skinny blue elf behind me by the hair.
"Men's meeting main kitchen now!" I instructed as I heard Hank scramble to follow me, still carrying his 'child'.
In the X-men's kitchen
We had gathered the usual suspects (namely Me, Hank, One eye and Kurt) and chased off other annoyances (like Jean, I mean who could stay focused when she's wandering around in a miniskirt with the emphasis on 'mini')
"So what yer gonna do elf?" I asked looking at him as he basked in a new disgusting light, and him a man of the bible too. I tutted mentally
"The honorable thing…the thing I should have done a long time ago…" Kurt said reaching into his pocket
"Good for you!" Scott said eyes misting slightly
Kurt pulled out a revolver from his pocket.
"Good on yer elf!"
Kurt strode into the next room, Scott followed him quickly and I don't think that Hank even noticed, so preoccupied was he with his 'pregnancy'
"Nooo! You can't leave a baby fatherless! Think about Mel and how she would feel…" I heard Scott twitter on from outside the door, I couldn't see why he couldn't let Kurt do what he had ta do, it would save me a job after all.
10 Minutes later
Kurt walked back into the room and put the revolver back onto the table.
"He talk yer outta it elf…shame" I said sarcastically
"No I just wanted to get away from him…" He jerked his finger towards the door frame that Scott went to lean against but missed. "…besides if this life is heaven I hate to see what death is like with people like Scott about!"
"Good point" I conceded
"Logan what should I do about this whole Mel pregnancy thing?" Kurt asked yellow eyes searching my own (let it be said, more beautiful) eyes.
"Dump her and go to Greenland" I suggested
This unlikely comment caused a stir in the blue hulk sat to my left "You bastard how could you even suggest such a thing what kind of father will you make to our own little bundle of joy?" Hank yelled as he began to bash me around the head
Snickt
"Now, now Logan you wouldn't raise your fist to some one who was expecting would you?" Hank said wagging his finger at me.
"You ain't really pregnant you arse!" I yelled at him. Hank rather worryingly put his paws over his ears and began to hum loudly.
At that moment Kat strode into the kitchen and pulled up a chair along side Cyclops. I didn't bother yelling at her to get out she wouldn't understand what we were talking about anyway.
Scott suddenly began to sob uncontrollably
"I know Cyke the kid has the same effect on me!"
"No it isn't her, I'm just thinking about me and Jean and I'm wondering why we haven't got pregnant yet!" He sniffled rubbing his snotty nose on his knitted sleeve
Kat got up and went to the fridge
"Don't worry Cyke, its only cause no one in their right mind would want a baby with you….let alone sleep with you for that matter!" I comforted him
Kat however dumped a load of ice cold peas and assorted vegetables into Scott's lap before announcing that it was good for his sperm because they like the cold, like Bobby.
I shook my head to dislodge any images of what Scott Summers sperm would look like
Kurt looked up from the table and sighed "I've wanted to ask her before you know but I was always afraid that she would say no, because of how I look…"
I interrupted him, hell someone had to knock some sense into him "She wouldn't have gone to bed with you if she found you repulsive like the rest of the populace!"
"Thank you Logan your restore my faith in myself no end"
"No problem elf! Just one question did you leave the light on or turn it off!"
"Logan you are sick!" Kurt whapped at me with his tail "…anyway as I was saying, but if I ask her to marry me now she's going to think that I'm only asking because I think that it is my duty not because I want to."
"Well you'll just have to convince her otherwise!" Hank informed him rather curtly, maybe his hormones were playing up and he was going through one of them phantom pregnancies that Sabretooth always used to seem to know to much about.
Whatchya thinkin'? Ok so it's a little out of Character….
Logan: AHEM!
Ellie: A lot out of character but I hope that you found it a little entertaining! So please do review, I like to hear your thoughts, what you found funny, what you didn't…you know!
