Chapter Four: Contact
Remus had been overjoyed to see his brother and the feeling had been mutual. Harry smiled and remembered how happy his professor had been. He hadn't him that happy in a long time. Harry flicked the ash from hs cigarette into the fire. "Ow!" said a voice. And there, in the fire was Romulus.
"You shouldn't be smoking."
"You shouldn't be here."
"Yes, I should. Remus even encouraged me to talk to you. He's worried. I should be here. Can you meet me by the Lake?"
"I can't leave the Common Room."
"I have permission to take you out Harry."
"All right." he said and got up and walked out. It was dark outside and didn't ask why they were they but he just played along. Harry really wasn't in the mood and wanted to get this over with. Thoughts of his godfather filled his head. He wanted him back and didn't have time for this nonsense.
"So, Harry," Romulus began, "I hear you've changed quite a bit since fourth year."
Harry snorted, "Everyone changes."
"But you're change seems dangerous."
"How?"
"You're moody and brooding and disconnecting yourself." He laid a hand on Harry's arm. "How long has it been since you let someone do that? Let someone touch you?"
Harry pulled away, uncomfortable. "I don't not let them. They just don't want to."
"Who's they?"
"Everyone. I think..." he paused. Harry had never been comfortable talking about things. But he continued, "I think they're afraid of me."
"Why do you think that?"
He began to feel as if he was being interogated and said angerly, "Because I do!"
"I wasn't threatening you, Harry. I'm trying to help." Romulus soothed and touched his arm again. In truth it had been a very long time since Harry was touched by anything human or animal. Even Hedwig stayed away from him now. The man slowly ran his han back and forth over Harry muscles, sending tinges of pleasure up Harry's spine.
"So, why do you think they're afraid of you?" he asked again.
"Because...it's just...certain things they've said or done. Certian looks like... I don't know."
"Maybe they're afraid for you?"
"No. I doubt it."
Romulus didn't relpy but let his hand wander to Harry's back, rubbing it. It felt good.
"I miss him." he finally said.
"Who?"
"Sirius."
"Ah..." Romulus replied and began to massage Harry's shoulder's with both hands.
"He's been gone for months and I still think that he'll come back."
"That's why you're doing that spell, correct? To bring him back?" The thirty six year looked at the sixteen year old.
"I don't think it will. You can't bring back the dead."
"With that kind of attitude you'll never make it work. You have to believe you can. And then you will. If you believe you can't, well, you won't." His hands began to travel down again, underneath Harry's shirt.
"I cut myself once. I missed him so much. I had to let something out."
"You cut yourself? Have you done it again?" Romulus sounded very concerned and Harry found it strange as he had just met this man. Harry nodded. He stopped massaging his back and layed his head on Harry's shoulder so his mouth was rigth next to his ear and in it he whispered, "Don't do that. You're too beautiful for that. I know what it's like. Remus knows what it's like. Severus knows and even Dumbledore knows what it's like. Don't marr your perfect body."
Harry felt intoxicated with the closeness of the man and the power of his words and he continued, "There are other ways. But you, you're far too lovely for that. Everyone is. And you're just a person. You have problems and emotions. But you're beautiful. Don't do it."
Don't do it.
Harry wanted to stop, just for this man. Because this man wasn't afraid to ask him to. Wasn't afraid to touch him, to be close to him. This man wanted to help. He was overcome by the moment and turned around and looked Romulus right in the eyes. "You said you knew. Can I see your scars?" The older man nodded and began to unbutton his shirt, revealing thousands--no tens of thousands-- of scars. They were all over his stomach, his chest, his breasts, and everywhere on his arms. Harry lost his breath and stared. Over come by impulse he moved closer and brushed his lips against Romulus's.
His lips traced the scars. Everyone of them. Each one white set into a tan body. He was tanner than Remus. But they looked beautiful in the light of the moon. Romulus did nothing to stop Harry from kissing him. In fact he seemed to think it would help the boy. He moaned as Harry's lips caressed the shimmering marks. But then he drew his hand up and kissed him. Harry needed physical contact or else he would die. He knew that much. So he pressed the boy closer, making him feel the heat of his body.
When Harry walked up to the castle felt better. He had been touched and loved. Not that he wnated a relationship with Romulus. Romulus wasn't looking for one. He was merely helping out. Anyway, Harry wanted his godfather...
Remus had been overjoyed to see his brother and the feeling had been mutual. Harry smiled and remembered how happy his professor had been. He hadn't him that happy in a long time. Harry flicked the ash from hs cigarette into the fire. "Ow!" said a voice. And there, in the fire was Romulus.
"You shouldn't be smoking."
"You shouldn't be here."
"Yes, I should. Remus even encouraged me to talk to you. He's worried. I should be here. Can you meet me by the Lake?"
"I can't leave the Common Room."
"I have permission to take you out Harry."
"All right." he said and got up and walked out. It was dark outside and didn't ask why they were they but he just played along. Harry really wasn't in the mood and wanted to get this over with. Thoughts of his godfather filled his head. He wanted him back and didn't have time for this nonsense.
"So, Harry," Romulus began, "I hear you've changed quite a bit since fourth year."
Harry snorted, "Everyone changes."
"But you're change seems dangerous."
"How?"
"You're moody and brooding and disconnecting yourself." He laid a hand on Harry's arm. "How long has it been since you let someone do that? Let someone touch you?"
Harry pulled away, uncomfortable. "I don't not let them. They just don't want to."
"Who's they?"
"Everyone. I think..." he paused. Harry had never been comfortable talking about things. But he continued, "I think they're afraid of me."
"Why do you think that?"
He began to feel as if he was being interogated and said angerly, "Because I do!"
"I wasn't threatening you, Harry. I'm trying to help." Romulus soothed and touched his arm again. In truth it had been a very long time since Harry was touched by anything human or animal. Even Hedwig stayed away from him now. The man slowly ran his han back and forth over Harry muscles, sending tinges of pleasure up Harry's spine.
"So, why do you think they're afraid of you?" he asked again.
"Because...it's just...certain things they've said or done. Certian looks like... I don't know."
"Maybe they're afraid for you?"
"No. I doubt it."
Romulus didn't relpy but let his hand wander to Harry's back, rubbing it. It felt good.
"I miss him." he finally said.
"Who?"
"Sirius."
"Ah..." Romulus replied and began to massage Harry's shoulder's with both hands.
"He's been gone for months and I still think that he'll come back."
"That's why you're doing that spell, correct? To bring him back?" The thirty six year looked at the sixteen year old.
"I don't think it will. You can't bring back the dead."
"With that kind of attitude you'll never make it work. You have to believe you can. And then you will. If you believe you can't, well, you won't." His hands began to travel down again, underneath Harry's shirt.
"I cut myself once. I missed him so much. I had to let something out."
"You cut yourself? Have you done it again?" Romulus sounded very concerned and Harry found it strange as he had just met this man. Harry nodded. He stopped massaging his back and layed his head on Harry's shoulder so his mouth was rigth next to his ear and in it he whispered, "Don't do that. You're too beautiful for that. I know what it's like. Remus knows what it's like. Severus knows and even Dumbledore knows what it's like. Don't marr your perfect body."
Harry felt intoxicated with the closeness of the man and the power of his words and he continued, "There are other ways. But you, you're far too lovely for that. Everyone is. And you're just a person. You have problems and emotions. But you're beautiful. Don't do it."
Don't do it.
Harry wanted to stop, just for this man. Because this man wasn't afraid to ask him to. Wasn't afraid to touch him, to be close to him. This man wanted to help. He was overcome by the moment and turned around and looked Romulus right in the eyes. "You said you knew. Can I see your scars?" The older man nodded and began to unbutton his shirt, revealing thousands--no tens of thousands-- of scars. They were all over his stomach, his chest, his breasts, and everywhere on his arms. Harry lost his breath and stared. Over come by impulse he moved closer and brushed his lips against Romulus's.
His lips traced the scars. Everyone of them. Each one white set into a tan body. He was tanner than Remus. But they looked beautiful in the light of the moon. Romulus did nothing to stop Harry from kissing him. In fact he seemed to think it would help the boy. He moaned as Harry's lips caressed the shimmering marks. But then he drew his hand up and kissed him. Harry needed physical contact or else he would die. He knew that much. So he pressed the boy closer, making him feel the heat of his body.
When Harry walked up to the castle felt better. He had been touched and loved. Not that he wnated a relationship with Romulus. Romulus wasn't looking for one. He was merely helping out. Anyway, Harry wanted his godfather...
