Title: A Piece of Our Minds: Hotel Room Horror

Rating: PG (Some strong language, which is beeped out anyway)

Spoilers: None (But you need to have read the first chapter)

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, they belong to the lovely people at MGM, Showtime and Brad Wright. Obviously, Jerry Springer is a hugely successful chat show host and I mean him no disrespect, and no copyright infringement was intended - please don't sue me!!

Summary: SG-1 and SG-3 face their next problem - they only have one hotel room for the eight of them.

~ A Piece of our Minds: Hotel Room Horror ~

By Ruth

'A Piece of Our Minds' Series Copyright (c) 2003, Ruth

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IMPORTANT: My email address is changing samcarterusaf@yahoo.co.uk is NO LONGER ACTIVE! My new address is jm-webmistress@fsmail.net Please update your address books accordingly. Thank you.

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"Ah, well, at least we're finally here - and we've got a suite!" Makepeace sighed happily, dumping his bags on the floor and looking around.

He glared when Jack walked in behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he growled.

"Well, ya see, the receptionists kinda cocked up our reservations, so ya see..."

"Out with it, O'Neill," he snarled.

"We're all in one room," Jack finished, with an almost apologetic smile.

"WHAT?" Makepeace exploded.

"Don't blame me!" Jack shouted, "It was Jerry BEEP-ing Springer that organised this!"

"I don't BEEP-ing care! You're the nearest person to me so I'm damned well going to blame you!" Makepeace hollered.

At that moment, Lucas, Noble and Edelson entered the room, with identical sheepish looks.

"Looks like we're all stuck in here together then," he said, "Where's Daniel, Carter and Teal'c?"

"Uh...Daniel tried to make a break for freedom - Sam and Teal'c have just gone to stop him." Edelson informed them.

"Good for them. First and most importantly: who sleeps where?"

"Um...well..."

"Ya see..."

"I'd kinda like..."

At that moment, Sam and Teal'c walked in, dragging Daniel behind them.

"NOOOOO!" Daniel screamed, "NOOOO! I want to go home!"

"So do I, Daniel," Sam said through gritted teeth, "But we're just gonna have to tough it out!"

"Lucas!" Makepeace shouted, "Where do you want to sleep?"

"Excuse me?" he asked, wiping something off of his shirt.

"I SAID, WHERE THE F-BEEP DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP?"

"Oh," he said, taking the quick way out, "I'll take the couch!"

"Right - Edelson?"

"I'll take the other end of the couch, sir!"

"Cool. N-"

"Hey!" Jack said, "How come you're lettin' your team chose first? That isn't fair!"

"Quit your whining, O'Neill! There's plenty of places left!" Makepeace grumbled. "I'm having the bed - there's room for at least one more, if not three," he said.

Sam turned a shade of green. "I'm taking the bath!" she shouted, running into the bathroom and narrowly avoiding Noble, who was vying for her place.

"Dear me, Robbie - you seem to be quite a turn-off!" Jack goaded him, with a large grin on his face.

"You won't be laughing for long, O'Neill!" he said, "Looks like it's me, you, Teal'c and Noble in the bed."

"What about me?" Daniel squeaked.

"Find somewhere!" Makepeace snarled, tossing his bag onto the bed.

"Uh..if you think I'm sharing a bed with you, Makepeace, then you're..." Jack began.

"I don't particularly relish the thought, but we don't seem to have a lot of choice!" Makepeace replied.

"Kick Carter out of the bathroom!" Jack suggested. Daniel thumped him, and went over to the door.

"Sam! Sam, is there any room in there for me?" he asked.

"I dunno...hold on a minute...there might be..."

"Makin' a move, Jackson?" Makepeace grinned.

"Shut up!" Daniel shouted, "At least I'm not taking part in a foursome with three other men! Egh!"

**********

It was near midnight by the time they were all settled down. Sam and Daniel had to wait for everyone to finish in the bathroom before they could go to sleep, and the others were too busy making a fuss.

"But why do I have to have the bottom end of the bed?" Jack whined, "I'll have to sleep with your feet up my nose!"

Makepeace growled. "So will I, O'Neill. I just think that being the most important man here, I should have the headboard."

"How the hell are you the most important man here?" Jack shouted.

Teal'c put his hands over his ears as the bitching continued. When their voices rose even louder, Teal'c got up and went over to the bathroom.

"Major Carter! Doctor Jackson! Is there sufficient space inside for another?"

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At around 1am, the eight officers were finally asleep. Sam, Daniel and Teal'c were crammed in the bathroom; Makepeace, Jack and Noble were crammed in the double bed, and Edelson and Lucas were top-and-tailed on the couch.

Sam rolled over in the bath and hit her nose on the plug, which woke her up.

"Agh! Dammit!" She grumbled, rubbing her nose.

This woke Daniel up, who was sleeping on the floor, under the bathmat.

"Ah - you okay Sam?" he asked.

"Yeah - I just hit my nose on the plug," she said, laying back down in the bath again.

"Night, Sam."

"Night, Daniel."

Teal'c, who was sitting bolt upright on the toilet seat practising Kelno'reem, did not answer.

In the bedroom, Robert grunted in his sleep and turned over, accidentally kicking Jack in the face.

"Ow!" Jack said, waking up suddenly, "Makepeace!"

"What?" Makepeace grouched, rubbing his eyes.

"You kicked me!" Jack whined.

"Ooh, so I did - deal with it! IT'S ONE O'CLOCK IN THE F-BEEP-ING MORNING!"

The shouting promptly woke up Noble, who was sleeping beside Makepeace.

"What?" he asked sleepily, rolling over and accidentally banging his head against the headboard, knocking himself out.

"Why me?" Robert asked, looking at the ceiling, "Why me? What have I done that is so terrible to warrant this?"

"You breathe," Jack replied snidely from the bottom of the bed.

"Oh, that is it!" Makepeace snarled, as he picked up a pillow. Suddenly, he leapt forwards and began to smother Jack with it.

"Hmff!" Jack protested, "Frrsk grr shhis kall ton frr!"

Robert removed the pillow. "What?" he asked.

Jack launched himself at Makepeace, grabbing the pillow and stuffing it over his face.

Back in the bathroom, Sam had heard all of the comotion and had woken up again.

With a sigh, she climbed out of the bathtub, being careful not to wake or step on Daniel, who was still asleep. Lucky bastard.

She opened the door and went into the main bedroom, biting back a shriek at what she saw.

Jack was sitting astride Makepeace, and Makepeace was writhing underneath him.

Her mind began to conjure up all sorts of horrible images - but stopped when she saw the pillow in Jack's hands.

"Jack!" she shouted, "Take that pillow off of his face RIGHT NOW!"

Jack jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice, giving Makepeace the time to sit up again, gasping for breath.

"But...but...he started it!" Jack protested, pointing at Makepeace.

"I don't give a f-BEEP who started it!" Sam shouted, "I'm trying to get some sleep - which is difficult enough in a f-BEEP-ing bath, but with you three making so much f-BEEP-ing noise it's damned near f-BEEP-ing impossible!"

She paused to take a breath.

"Now! Go to sleep or for f-BEEP sake, shut the f-BEEP up!"

With a sigh, she turned her back and went into the bathroom, trying not to slam the door behind her.

**********

All was silent in the hotel room. It was just gone 3am, and not a creature (or marine) was stirring. Teal'c opened his eyes and looked around himself.

Sam was asleep in the bathtub. Daniel was asleep on the floor, snoring gently underneath the bathmat. He got up, with a small grin on his face, and filled his hands with cold water. Then, he went into the master bedroom.

He tiptoed across to Makepeace and stood perfectly still, watching him snore.

Then, he emptied the contents of his hands all over him, running back to the cover of the bathroom.

"AAAGGGHHH! WHAT THE F-BEEP?"

Makepeace then succeeded in waking up every living soul within a 10-mile radius.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Next time: Day 1 of the team-building begins, as SG-1 and SG-3 are paired up and set various challenges. They include water, a rope swing...and a helluva lot of mud.

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