Oh how fun Xmas would be with this lot! Anyway feedback is always appreciated and if I mention it enough I may get some reviews.
I would also like to say thank god for NCSGirl and her lovely fics that keep me sane (or is that insane?) Check out her Donkey Kong Parody which sees Hank star as the big ape with the tie! It promises to be fantastic nudge nudge poke prod When are ya gonna update huh? Anyway onward with the story!
Later…
We sat around the table Rudolf, Swede girl, a turkey (Jubilee), a X-mas tree (Tristan who kept overbalancing and falling onto the floor and was wedged precariously behind the table), a Cracker (Richard), a Sexy Santa (Mel), a chainsaw (Bobby) and a Christmas pudding (Bounce). Anyone who walked in would have been forgiven for thinking that they had walked in to an insane asylum. Our 'Christmas Costume brief' had been to dress as something we associated with Christmas hence the Rudolf outfit. We sat at the long dining table for our pre dinner set the world to rights discussion. Suddenly the door bell rang. We all dove under the table (except Tristan who toppled onto his back and was left legs flailing in the manner of an upturned bug) as if the bell was an air raid siren. I peered from under the festive table cloth at the door as if it would explode any second; Tristan was still making strange strangled sounds as he tried to right himself.
"Who is it?" I called cautiously
"It's only us!" Came four overly cheerful voices one of which I detected to be Kurt's.
"Who's us?" I asked buying time to come up with an ingenious plan to get rid of them, no one was meant to interrupt us!
Snickt
"Wolverine what an unexpected surprise!" I said as I ran to open the door a crack before he could cut his way through.
"Have you got a cold?" Hank asked
"No it's this bloody nose"
"Yes why are you wearing that exactly" Asked the doctor peering at me through his spectacles.
"What is wit da twigs petite"
Bloody Remy was here as well GRRRR!!
"To what do we owe this honor?" I asked not opening the door anymore than the crack it was already open.
"I decided to spend Christmas lunch with my girlfriend after all" Kurt said trying to pear past my antlers to where Mel was helping Tristan upright. She should have opened the door she looked the most normal of all of us.
I heard a muffled yell as Mel dropped Tristan and legged it to the door which she flung open, wrapping her arms around her blue boyfriend and leaving the rest of us exposed.
It took a second for the inevitable to happen but as the inevitable has a nasty habit of, it did happen. The four X-Men stood at the door erupted in laughter (something rare for the stone king himself-Wolverine).
I shot them a look medusa would have been proud of and sauntered back to my place at the head of the table.
Wolverine walked over pointing at me "You….You look like a yeti!"
I stuck out my bottom lip my face going a rather seasonal shade of red, as I tried to hide my furry clothes under the table cloth. Tristan had once again toppled over, and was the subject of much toe poking from Remy, causing Tristan to swear loudly at the freak with the red and black eyes. Bloody git's should be sat with too perfect to be true Jean not interrupting our festivities.
Mel walked in sheepishly as she got wolf whistled by Remy, who got whapped on the head by Kurt's tail.
We all looked shiftily around the room trying to figure out what the rest of these chumps wanted, we knew Kurt was here for Mel but the others?
I looked at the angrily "Ok guys you've had your laugh now you can run along home to eat the Brady Bunches lovely home cooked Turkey…So long!" I said waving to them
"We thought that we would grace you with our presence this year, we can't leave yer here to eat yer big ol' Turkey all on yer own." Wolverine said as he sniffed the air, inhaling the lovely aromas wafting from the Retribution X kitchen.
Jubilee's face lit up at the prospect of Wolverine spending a Christmas with her for the first time in ages, I wouldn't let her down as it was the season of good cheer and all that (on retrospect I may have drunken too much already I'm never that amenable!)
"Ok…" I sighed "…you can stay but we are still going to have Christmas the way we planned it meaning that you can not:
Laugh,
Point and laugh,
Complain,
Groan,
Or look at us as if we are lunatics!" I instructed ticking each instruction off on my fingers
"Scouts honour!" Hank saluted us, while Wolverine just sneered and Remy drooled in Mel's direction.
"Good…" I eyed them suspiciously assessing the threat the posed to our festivities "…now we were just about to make the toasts" I said reclaiming my seat at the top of the table and re-propping up an antler that had fallen into my line of vision.
I sat a memory hit me, a memory so strong I could still taste the coffee I was drinking and smell my vanilla deodorant. I stood up at the head of the table.
"Does anyone else remember the time that Kat wrote a whole essay about the Klu Klux clan but she got confused and called them the Wutang clan all the way through and talked at regular intervals about their 'Gravel Pit' song?"
The table erupted in laughter as the members of Retribution X remembered the fun we had reading the essay out loud and how Evelyn was the only one who could be bothered to help Kat redo the essay.
I raised my glass in toast "I propose a toast to friends who see you through the good times and the bad and give you a bit of fun in the mean time!"
We all raised our glasses to the toast
Jubilee stood up in her chair and raised her wing (sorry arm but her costume was funny!) "I would like to add that today is dedicated to friends who are absent, Evelyn we miss you and you are still in our hearts!" Tears welled up in Jubilees eyes; this was Evelyn's favourite time of year
"EVELYN!" We all raised our glasses to are absent but by no means forgotten friend.
Everyone sat to tuck into their appetizers (I didn't have one I was saving room for the Christmas pudding!) when the door bell once again rang. Again we all instinctively dove for cover as Hank and Remy looked on puzzled (Wolverine and Kurt were long since used to our little rituals).
"Who is it?" Bounce called
There was only what I suppose in some strange backwards culture was carolling, thus signalling it was in fact the Brady Bunch (i.e. Jean and Scott).
Kat obviously unaware of this peril ran to the door yelling "I'll get it!"
I let her do this and continued to cower under the chair (it was too crowded under the table where Tristan was writhing around like an upturned bug again).
I poked my head out so I could A) Breath and B) watch the situation with Kat after all we really didn't need 3 roast turkeys for Christmas we already had one.
Suddenly Kat squealed in excitement "IT'S THE OSMONDS AND THEY'VE BROUGHT COOKIES!!"
She jumped up and down on the spot clapping her hands to her face "WILL YOU SING PUPPY LOVE??? PLEASE! PLEASE SING PUPPY LOVE!"
"Its bloody Jeannie and the moron" Wolverine growled
Kat suddenly stopped stock still and tried to shut the door in their faces but couldn't quite bring herself to do it instead she looked at me and smiled "ASH IT'S FOR YOU!"
I shook my head and scrambled from under the chair I joined Kat at the door, who then began to walk back to the table before stopping and looking over her shoulder at our new guests "And don't bother with the singing"
I could see what Kat was getting at with the Osmond's comment as Jean and Scott were stood in matching hand knitted jumpers. Unfortunately the tragic excuses for mutants broke into 'Ding dong merrily on high'. I promptly began to shut the door on them before I spotted a tray in Jeans hands and whipped the cookies off of her before slamming the door in their faces.
Again if you read it please review, if only to just say 'HI' just so I know people actually read this stuff!
