"Hey, sweetie," Buffy said, grinning as Xander re-entered Giles's apartment.

Xander walked over to Buffy, pulled her up from her chair and kissed her passionately.

"Mmm. . ." she said. "Not complaining, but was there any reason for that?"

Xander smiled at her. "Just missed you is all," he said.

Gagging noises could be heard from the kitchen. They turned to see Faith watching them and pretending to stick her finger down her throat. Buffy stuck her tongue out at the Dark Slayer and sat back down. Xander smiled at her, and sat down as well, lifting his feet up onto the table.

"Did you have a productive day shopping?" he asked.

"Yeah, buddy!" Faith said. "Oh man, there was this wicked sale at the mall. All the best stuff for like half price."

"Great," Xander said. "Where's the G-man?"

"He went with Willow to get the food," Buffy said, taking Xander's hand in her own and smiling at the contact.

"Excellent. I am definitely in the mood for munchies."

"I know what you mean, X. Shopping takes it out of a girl, I feel like I could eat a horse."

Xander nodded. "By the way, I'd like to thank both of you for helping me get named employee of the week."

"You were named employee of the week?" Buffy asked.

Xander shook his head. "No. But if the guys have anything to say about it, I will be."

"Well, what the hell did we have to do with that?" Faith asked.

Xander chuckled. "There was a long parade of women visiting me at the site today, and the guys felt a show like that should merit me an award."

"Just how long a parade are we talking?" Buffy asked, squeezing Xander's hand.

Xander squeezed her hand right back and smiled at her. "You, Faith, Cordy, your mom and Willow. After that, they kicked me off the site early for causing too many distractions, vowed to lobby the Boss to make me employee of the week, and told me to order you guys not to come around anymore."

"Order?" Buffy asked.

"That's what they said."

Buffy grinned wickedly at Faith. "I don't much like orders."

"I'm right there with ya, B."

Xander shook his head, smiling to himself.

"Hey, guys!" Willow said, entering the apartment ahead of Giles.

"Hey, Will," Buffy said. "Did you know that us females were ordered to stay away from Xander's work site?"

Willow raised an eyebrow. "Ordered?"

Willow set the bag she was holding on the table, then she, Buffy and Faith put their heads together to come up with a plan.

"Oh dear," said Giles. "Xander, you didn't."

"Not me. Steve, one of the guys I work with."

"Has he any idea?"

"I'm pretty sure he knew exactly what he was doing," Xander said, smirking.

Giles cleaned his glasses. "Do be careful."

Xander nodded, then went rummaging through the food. "Oooh. . . mozzarella sticks!"

* * * * *

"Do you see any guards or sentries or anything?" asked Buffy.

"Nope," Xander said, pulling the binoculars down from his eyes. They were lying on top of a roof a couple blocks away from the building in question. "Are we sure this is the right factory?"

"Well, Willy said the one Spike used to use. This is the only one he ever used, so far as I know, anyway."

"Yeah. I don't get it. With the number of vamps Willy's talking about, surely one of them would have thought to post guards."

Xander shook his head. "I don't like it."

"I don't like it either. I also think I'm really glad we woke Faith up, because this is starting to creep me out."

"You two seem to be getting along pretty well."

Buffy considered this for a moment. "Yeah. Well, I mean, Chosen Two, you know? Plus, after I stabbed her, she did give me the key to defeating the mayor. I think she kind of forgave me, and that certainly made it a lot easier for me to forgive her. Hey, what's that over there?"

Xander raised the binoculars again. "Huh. Looks like.. about 5 guys, with weird looking guns. They're dressed in Army camo. . . odd clothes for an urban area, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Won't fit in very well. Think we should report it to Giles?"

"I guess we better. See if he knows anything. That's great about you and Faith, by the way.

"Well, it's not like we're best buds or anything. But. . . yeah. We're cool. I even think Willow was opening up to her during dinner, don't you?"

"A little. Not much."

"Not much? They were gabbing like they were old friends."

Xander nodded. "Yeah. But Will was mostly acting. She's still not comfortable around Faith, which is understandable. She did try to kill us and all. Some people take that kind of thing harder than others."

"She was acting? How could you tell?"

Xander shrugged. "It's Willow."

Buffy thought for a second. "You know. . . I'm glad you have a friend like her."

Xander raised an eyebrow. "She's your friend too, you know."

Buffy smiled and shifted onto her side so she was looking at him. "Of course I know that, doofus. But you guys have something special. And at times, it makes me a little jealous. . . not of her connection with you, but. . . well, I never had anybody that close when I was growing up."

Xander nodded. "It's. . . nice. Having somebody who knows me that well."

"I guess it would be."

Xander rolled onto his back and pulled Buffy to him.

"You know, she doesn't know everything about me. There are things that you know that she doesn't."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Well, for starters, she's never seen me on my knees with flowers, candy and balloons."

Buffy laughed.

"I can also say with a fair amount of certainty that I have never slept with her while in just my boxers. Footy pajamas are a different story."

"Mmm. . . that's a nice one to know," she said, snuggling into his arms.

"And I never told her about my parents."

Buffy sat up. "What? But you said. . ."

"I said she knew. She did. Does. Whatever. But I never actually out and told her the whole story. She probably guessed, but as far as actually talking about it? You're the only person I've ever told. She was always there when I needed her, but I never wanted to talk about it, and she understood that. I knew I could talk to her about it if I wanted to."

Buffy leaned forward and kissed Xander. "I think she should know, though. Don't you?"

"Yeah, she should. And I'll tell her, because that was her time."

"Her time?"

Xander nodded. "Will's been my best friend since forever, and she always will be. We have a shared history that nobody can touch."

Buffy smiled, a little sadly, knowing that that was a part of the man she loved that she could never share. "We don't have a past like that."

Xander placed a finger gently under her chin lifted it, so he could look into her eyes. "No," he said. "But we have a future."

The couple lay there for a few minutes, just taking pleasure in each other's company.

"I should walk you back to the dorm."

"No. Willow and Oz are there."

Xander raised his eyebrow. "That's a little rude, what with Oz having his own place."

"I told them to."

"I must be missing something here."

"Mom's out of town."

"I really was missing something there."

Buffy kissed him, stood up and walked to the ladder at the edge of the building. She turned and looked over her shoulder. "Coming? Or am I sleeping alone tonight in my big, cold bed?"

"I couldn't let that happen," Xander said, hopping up and following Buffy to the ladder.

"That's what I thought," she said, smiling.

* * * * *

Buffy leaned against the door to her room wearing nothing but one of Xander's sweatshirts.

"Hey, baby," she said.

Xander looked up from the comic he had been reading while she was in the shower, saw her and started to drool a little.

"Ah. . . hey, Buff. . . nearly buff Buff, heh. Whatcha doin'?"

She smiled seductively. "Now? Nothing."

"Ah."

"But I hope that changes."

"Oh."

She pouted. "You don't seem too excited."

"Excited? Oh, I'm um. . . excited."

"Don't you think I'm sexy?"

"More than anything."

She grinned. "Wanna find out how much?"

Xander closed his eyes and shuddered. "Buffy, please believe me when I say that I have dreamt about this for years. How this would happen. What you would say. What I would say. And do. To you. And I'm lying here, and none of what I dreamed even comes close to how gorgeous you look right now."

Buffy's grin got bigger.

"But we can't."

She frowned.

"Why not?"

Xander sighed.

"It's very complicated right now, but suffice to say. . . when we do, and God knows that I want to, I want it to be perfect. And if we were to right now. . . it wouldn't be."

"You and me alone together isn't perfect?" she asked, her frown deepening.

"Buffy, it is. God, you can't believe how perfect it is. But. . . you know the old line 'it's not you, it's me'? Well, it really, really, really isn't you. And it really, really, really is me."

"Xan, I don't understand. . ." she said softly, unsure of herself.

"Buffy, come here," he said.

She approached him slowly, and he pulled her up into his lap and wrapped her tightly in his arms.

"I love you, Buffy. I love you so much. I miss you when I'm at work. I miss you when you're at school. Hell, I missed you when you went to shower, and you were 20 feet away in the same building. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. When you're in my arms, like you are now, I just feel this overwhelming sense of peace. My mind is calm, and it's like nothing else in the world matters. At the same time, I get excited. . . at the thoughts of what could be, how beautiful you look every single time I see you. It's like I'm two different people. And right now, both of them want nothing more than to be with you, in the most intimate of ways."

"So why. . ."

"Because it wouldn't be right. Right now, tonight, it's not the right thing to do. And I know that you don't like that answer, and that you don't understand, and I wish to God I could make you understand. But for now, I'm going to have to ask you to trust me. I love you, Buffy. But tonight, we can't."

Buffy sighed and rested her head against his chest.

"Do you know when?"

"No," he said. "But soon."

Buffy nodded, and they lay there in each others arms until they fell asleep.

* * * * *

"Steve."

"Yeah, Xander?"

"Boss in today?"

"Nope. Checked in a half hour ago, but he's got a new site to get up and running."

"Okay. Promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Don't kill me."

"What?"

Xander shook his head. "Just. . . please understand that I had nothing to do with it."

"With what?"

"I don't know."

"Huh?"

Xander shook his head again. "Nothing. I'll just get to work."

"You do understand I have no clue what you're talking about?"

"I know."

"Just so long as we're clear. Oh, yeah, Harris, one more thing."

"Yeah Steve?"

"Another girl showed up about ten minutes after you left yesterday."

"What?"

"Yeah. Said she went to the prom with you."

"You're joking."

"Nope. Swear to God."

"You told her that I moved, right?"

Steve grinned. "Actually, if she follows my advice, she'll be here in about five minutes."

"You didn't."

"I did."

Xander sighed. "Okay. I'll just wait here for her, then."

"Right. Keep it short."

"Trust me, I will."

Xander waited around at the entrance to the construction site for a few minutes when he saw who he was looking for.

"Anya. Hi," he said.

"Hello, Xander. How are you?'

"I'm pretty good. A little surprised to see you, but pretty good. I thought you left?"

"I did. I'm back now."

"Yeah, but I thought you left for good."

"Well, I did too. But I couldn't keep you out of my head for some reason, and I read somewhere that the way to get over somebody is to copulate."

"What!?"

"Copulate. You know, an exchange of bodily fluids."

"Yes, Anya, I know what copulation is."

"Good. So, then, I will see you tonight, and we will make our bodies interlock, yes?"

"No!"

Anya looked surprised. "Why not? Is this not a preferred activity for you?"

"It's not that, it's just I can't."

"No? Do you not function properly? Because there are pills that you can take. . ."

"No! I function just fine, but I can't. . . copulate. . . with you. I'm seeing somebody. How did you know I worked here, anyway?"

"I went to your house, but they said you didn't live there anymore, but that I could find you here or with a man called Giles. I didn't know where Giles was, so I came here."

"Okay, fine. The point is that I can't do that with you, because I'm with Buffy now."

"Buffy? I thought she was with Angel."

"She was. Now she's with me."

"Hmm. Promiscuous little girl, isn't she?"

"Hey! That's my girlfriend you're talking about!"

"I'm sorry, did that upset you? Can I make it up to you with sexual pleasure?"

"No! Look, just. . ." Xander rolled his eyes. "You'll have to find some other way of getting over me, okay? Sex is not an option."

"Fine! I didn't like you anyway!" Anya yelled, before smacking him and walking away.

Xander shook his head, said, "She is the strangest girl," then went back to work.

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End Chapter 18