Chapter Six - ReVeLaTiOnS
I knew this conversation would come sooner or later.
"What do you want to know?" I asked, picking up a chocolate frog. I opened it up to see a card of Dumbledore. James looked at me carefully.
"Remember two weeks ago, when I talked to you in that classroom. You were just under the influence of the Veritaserum. You told me you were trying to be your sister. Why?" James asked the question I hadn't want anyone to know the answer too. But I had made a promise. I swallowed back the fear of what he would say and told him why.
"My sister Petunia was always perfect. Great grades, lots of boys after her, always wearing a truckload of make-up, she was the most popular and loved girl I ever knew. I, on the other hand, wasn't. Petunia told me I was ugly, with my red hair and green eyes. She said that's why I never had friends. So when I got my letter for Hogwarts, it was almost like my dreams coming true. I could go to this school and be someone that everyone would love: Petunia. And that is what I did, I copied everything about her. The way she would walk, how she treated guys, how smart she was and most of all, how she looked," I looked at James. He nodded and stared into his tankard of butterbeer.
"So you ran away from me that night, because I was breaking through your mask. You couldn't stop the real you from coming out from within you," James figured out. I laughed half-heartedly.
"Yeah, that was my worst fear. Somebody knowing that I wasn't who everyone thought I was. That the Lily Evans they knew was really Petunia Evans," I bit into my chocolate frog. There was a silence. James was pondering over what I had said.
"So who did I fall in love with?" James asked. That question took me by surprise. Firstly, I assumed it was me, Lily. But if I was pretending to be Petunia.....?
"You must have liked Petunia in some way, right? But before the whole Lucius Malfoy night, you were getting through to the real me. But I guess we'll know from now," I concluded.
"Why?" James asked curiously. He was watching me intently.
"Well, you'll know the real Lily Evans from now on. And if you don't like her, then I'll owl home to tell Petunia that someone is after her, won't I?" I laughed hollowly. I didn't want James to be in love with Petunia. Love is wasted on her. James became awkward with me.
"What if I have fallen in love with her? How would you feel?" James asked. He looked as if the worst was true, that he really did love the false me, more or less my sister Petunia. I stood up as fast as I could. I had fallen in love with James and I think he has fallen in love with my disguise.
"Then Petunia is lucky. She has won the heart of the only boy I have ever loved," I felt tears come to my eyes and I rushed out of the Three Broomsticks, leaving James more confused than ever.
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I walked along the streets of Hogsmede, heading back towards Hogwarts. I can't believe my past was repeating itself. Everything that happened prior to Hogwarts was practically happening again. I could almost still hear the school kids' taunts from my past now:
"Lily is a loser! Lily is a loser!"
"How could such a loser like Lily be related to the most popular girl in school, Petunia?"
"Hey loser! Why don't you dye your hair and be cool like your sister?"
I felt fresh tears spring up and I wiped them away. How could I let James know my deepest secrets? Now he was in love with Petunia. Somebody he has never seen, only through me. I've pretended to be someone else for the past five years at Hogwarts and for what? Nothing. I walked through the Hogwarts gates after being scrutinized by Filch, who didn't realize I hadn't walk past before. I wandered lonely towards the castle but changed my mind. I made my way towards the lake but was stopped.
"All right there, Lily?" I heard a familiar booming voice say. I looked up to see Hagrid, the gamekeeper. He was awfully big, probably a half giant. Giants can be greatly bigger than Hagrid.
"I'm fine," I sniffed, rubbing my eyes to rid any tears. Hagrid peered down at me, his beetle eyes noticing my tear stained cheeks.
"No, yer not. Yer gonna come an' have a cup o' tea with me. Yeh can tell me whatta wrong with yeh," Hagrid took my arm and steered me back into his cabin.
We went inside and Hagrid sat me in a chair next to a huge table. Hagrid started to put boiling water into a large teapot and was making two large mugs of tea. I looked around. His bed was in the corner as usual, a chicken was hanging off the ceiling but there was a new item in his cabin. A very large basket was next to Hagrid's bed, filled with blankets. Two large bowls sat next to it.
"What's that Hagrid?" I asked, pointing to the basket.
"Ah," Hagrid looked and his newly growing goatee twitched nervously, "that's fer my new dog. That's its bed" He smiled.
"Are you sure it's a dog? Or did you finally get a dragon?" I laughed. I knew Hagrid had a love for strange and dangerous creatures.
"Naw, it's a dog. A black boarhound. Should be 'ere any day now. Now back ter yeh. What's bin happenin' ter make yeh so upset out there?" Hagrid came over to the table and placed a boiling hot tea in front of me. He sat down with his tea. A plate of treacle tart was on the table. Hagrid peered over his mug. I sighed.
"I've created this problem. Now I think I might lose someone I love," I took a sip of the tea. It burnt my lips, tongue and throat. I forced it down. It felt like my body was on fire! I put the mug down and took a piece of the treacle toffee. Now, as well as having a burnt mouth and throat, my teeth were glued together!
"Ah, youn' love. It wouldn't be ol' James Potter by any chance?" Hagrid smiled. I forced my teeth apart and swallowed the toffee down.
"Yeah it is," I looked down into my tea sadly, warming my hands up by holding the mug.
"I'm sure it'll be nothin' ter worry abou', James likes yeh a lot Lily!" Hagrid drank deeply from his mug.
"No, it's worse than that. I haven't exactly been truthful to everyone. And James admitted to me that he loves me and now we aren't sure if he is," I couldn't help the tears running down my cheeks. Hagrid pulled out a large handkerchief, which could have passed as a small towel and handed it to me.
"Get it all out. There yeh better now?"
"Sort of. Hagrid, I'll try and cut the long story short. I've been trying to be my sister ever since I've come to Hogwarts. Now James doesn't know if he has fallen in love with me or Petunia," I sobbed sadly. I knew Hagrid would understand. He's met my sister before. But it wasn't a pleasant situation. Petunia hated me and any wizarding folk. Hagrid bellowed. The sound hurt my ears.
"HA! Yeh two'll sort it out. Don' even know why James even thought he likes yer sister over yeh. It's obvious who 'e does like ay?" Hagrid smiled. I raised an eyebrow.
"No, it's not Hagrid. It's not that simple-"
"Yeh'll see 'ow simple it is alright. I'll tell James a thin' or two. Don' yeh worry now Lily. Now yeh should go an' enjoy yer weekend," Hagrid stood up and took our mugs to the sink. He walked me to his front door and saw me off.
I walked back up to castle, even more confused but at least I didn't have anymore tears to shed. I walked all the way back to the Ravenclaw tower and sat in my common room alone. A few second-years were playing chess. I felt quite alone. I hadn't seen hardly anybody for two weeks, James thinks he loves Petunia and Torah will be hanging around Sirius since he is her boyfriend. How can I avoid James now? I shook my head. I don't want to avoid James. I love him. Why is love so complicated?
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"Now Lily, you have to come down for breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day! You make yourself sick if you don't eat! You didn't eat dinner either! Please! For me?" Torah pleaded. I turned over in my bed and closed my eyes.
"If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to sleep," I growled. I don't want to get up. All because of James. I feel so sick whenever I thought of him! I felt like he was proposing to Petunia already! What I thought was the worst that could happen, did. I told someone my secret, the person I told thinks they like the person I was pretending to be. Petunia is the greatest all over again. I started to pretend to snore.
"James told us," Torah turned and went to close my bed-hangings. I stopped snoring, "He told us that you weren't who we thought you were."
"So he opened his fat mouth did he? That's nice. Anyway, if you're wondering, he is right. I'm not who you think I am," I sighed, sitting up in my bed. Torah looked around at me.
"You know, I think the old Lily would have sulked like this. So much for changing and showing everyone who you really are," Torah shut the bed- hangings, "See you later then."
I jumped out of my bed and grabbed Torah's arm. She turned and I burst into tears.
"Seriously Lily. You ain't supposed to cry. Lily doesn't take shit of anyone anymore!" Torah smiled at me. I looked up at her and wiped my eyes, half giggling.
"I'm coming to breakfast," I said, pulling my uniform on, on top of my pajamas. Torah gave me a weird look but gave a wider grin.
"That's the spirit,"
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I knew this conversation would come sooner or later.
"What do you want to know?" I asked, picking up a chocolate frog. I opened it up to see a card of Dumbledore. James looked at me carefully.
"Remember two weeks ago, when I talked to you in that classroom. You were just under the influence of the Veritaserum. You told me you were trying to be your sister. Why?" James asked the question I hadn't want anyone to know the answer too. But I had made a promise. I swallowed back the fear of what he would say and told him why.
"My sister Petunia was always perfect. Great grades, lots of boys after her, always wearing a truckload of make-up, she was the most popular and loved girl I ever knew. I, on the other hand, wasn't. Petunia told me I was ugly, with my red hair and green eyes. She said that's why I never had friends. So when I got my letter for Hogwarts, it was almost like my dreams coming true. I could go to this school and be someone that everyone would love: Petunia. And that is what I did, I copied everything about her. The way she would walk, how she treated guys, how smart she was and most of all, how she looked," I looked at James. He nodded and stared into his tankard of butterbeer.
"So you ran away from me that night, because I was breaking through your mask. You couldn't stop the real you from coming out from within you," James figured out. I laughed half-heartedly.
"Yeah, that was my worst fear. Somebody knowing that I wasn't who everyone thought I was. That the Lily Evans they knew was really Petunia Evans," I bit into my chocolate frog. There was a silence. James was pondering over what I had said.
"So who did I fall in love with?" James asked. That question took me by surprise. Firstly, I assumed it was me, Lily. But if I was pretending to be Petunia.....?
"You must have liked Petunia in some way, right? But before the whole Lucius Malfoy night, you were getting through to the real me. But I guess we'll know from now," I concluded.
"Why?" James asked curiously. He was watching me intently.
"Well, you'll know the real Lily Evans from now on. And if you don't like her, then I'll owl home to tell Petunia that someone is after her, won't I?" I laughed hollowly. I didn't want James to be in love with Petunia. Love is wasted on her. James became awkward with me.
"What if I have fallen in love with her? How would you feel?" James asked. He looked as if the worst was true, that he really did love the false me, more or less my sister Petunia. I stood up as fast as I could. I had fallen in love with James and I think he has fallen in love with my disguise.
"Then Petunia is lucky. She has won the heart of the only boy I have ever loved," I felt tears come to my eyes and I rushed out of the Three Broomsticks, leaving James more confused than ever.
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I walked along the streets of Hogsmede, heading back towards Hogwarts. I can't believe my past was repeating itself. Everything that happened prior to Hogwarts was practically happening again. I could almost still hear the school kids' taunts from my past now:
"Lily is a loser! Lily is a loser!"
"How could such a loser like Lily be related to the most popular girl in school, Petunia?"
"Hey loser! Why don't you dye your hair and be cool like your sister?"
I felt fresh tears spring up and I wiped them away. How could I let James know my deepest secrets? Now he was in love with Petunia. Somebody he has never seen, only through me. I've pretended to be someone else for the past five years at Hogwarts and for what? Nothing. I walked through the Hogwarts gates after being scrutinized by Filch, who didn't realize I hadn't walk past before. I wandered lonely towards the castle but changed my mind. I made my way towards the lake but was stopped.
"All right there, Lily?" I heard a familiar booming voice say. I looked up to see Hagrid, the gamekeeper. He was awfully big, probably a half giant. Giants can be greatly bigger than Hagrid.
"I'm fine," I sniffed, rubbing my eyes to rid any tears. Hagrid peered down at me, his beetle eyes noticing my tear stained cheeks.
"No, yer not. Yer gonna come an' have a cup o' tea with me. Yeh can tell me whatta wrong with yeh," Hagrid took my arm and steered me back into his cabin.
We went inside and Hagrid sat me in a chair next to a huge table. Hagrid started to put boiling water into a large teapot and was making two large mugs of tea. I looked around. His bed was in the corner as usual, a chicken was hanging off the ceiling but there was a new item in his cabin. A very large basket was next to Hagrid's bed, filled with blankets. Two large bowls sat next to it.
"What's that Hagrid?" I asked, pointing to the basket.
"Ah," Hagrid looked and his newly growing goatee twitched nervously, "that's fer my new dog. That's its bed" He smiled.
"Are you sure it's a dog? Or did you finally get a dragon?" I laughed. I knew Hagrid had a love for strange and dangerous creatures.
"Naw, it's a dog. A black boarhound. Should be 'ere any day now. Now back ter yeh. What's bin happenin' ter make yeh so upset out there?" Hagrid came over to the table and placed a boiling hot tea in front of me. He sat down with his tea. A plate of treacle tart was on the table. Hagrid peered over his mug. I sighed.
"I've created this problem. Now I think I might lose someone I love," I took a sip of the tea. It burnt my lips, tongue and throat. I forced it down. It felt like my body was on fire! I put the mug down and took a piece of the treacle toffee. Now, as well as having a burnt mouth and throat, my teeth were glued together!
"Ah, youn' love. It wouldn't be ol' James Potter by any chance?" Hagrid smiled. I forced my teeth apart and swallowed the toffee down.
"Yeah it is," I looked down into my tea sadly, warming my hands up by holding the mug.
"I'm sure it'll be nothin' ter worry abou', James likes yeh a lot Lily!" Hagrid drank deeply from his mug.
"No, it's worse than that. I haven't exactly been truthful to everyone. And James admitted to me that he loves me and now we aren't sure if he is," I couldn't help the tears running down my cheeks. Hagrid pulled out a large handkerchief, which could have passed as a small towel and handed it to me.
"Get it all out. There yeh better now?"
"Sort of. Hagrid, I'll try and cut the long story short. I've been trying to be my sister ever since I've come to Hogwarts. Now James doesn't know if he has fallen in love with me or Petunia," I sobbed sadly. I knew Hagrid would understand. He's met my sister before. But it wasn't a pleasant situation. Petunia hated me and any wizarding folk. Hagrid bellowed. The sound hurt my ears.
"HA! Yeh two'll sort it out. Don' even know why James even thought he likes yer sister over yeh. It's obvious who 'e does like ay?" Hagrid smiled. I raised an eyebrow.
"No, it's not Hagrid. It's not that simple-"
"Yeh'll see 'ow simple it is alright. I'll tell James a thin' or two. Don' yeh worry now Lily. Now yeh should go an' enjoy yer weekend," Hagrid stood up and took our mugs to the sink. He walked me to his front door and saw me off.
I walked back up to castle, even more confused but at least I didn't have anymore tears to shed. I walked all the way back to the Ravenclaw tower and sat in my common room alone. A few second-years were playing chess. I felt quite alone. I hadn't seen hardly anybody for two weeks, James thinks he loves Petunia and Torah will be hanging around Sirius since he is her boyfriend. How can I avoid James now? I shook my head. I don't want to avoid James. I love him. Why is love so complicated?
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"Now Lily, you have to come down for breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day! You make yourself sick if you don't eat! You didn't eat dinner either! Please! For me?" Torah pleaded. I turned over in my bed and closed my eyes.
"If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to sleep," I growled. I don't want to get up. All because of James. I feel so sick whenever I thought of him! I felt like he was proposing to Petunia already! What I thought was the worst that could happen, did. I told someone my secret, the person I told thinks they like the person I was pretending to be. Petunia is the greatest all over again. I started to pretend to snore.
"James told us," Torah turned and went to close my bed-hangings. I stopped snoring, "He told us that you weren't who we thought you were."
"So he opened his fat mouth did he? That's nice. Anyway, if you're wondering, he is right. I'm not who you think I am," I sighed, sitting up in my bed. Torah looked around at me.
"You know, I think the old Lily would have sulked like this. So much for changing and showing everyone who you really are," Torah shut the bed- hangings, "See you later then."
I jumped out of my bed and grabbed Torah's arm. She turned and I burst into tears.
"Seriously Lily. You ain't supposed to cry. Lily doesn't take shit of anyone anymore!" Torah smiled at me. I looked up at her and wiped my eyes, half giggling.
"I'm coming to breakfast," I said, pulling my uniform on, on top of my pajamas. Torah gave me a weird look but gave a wider grin.
"That's the spirit,"
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