Rating changed as was suggested. As was said before I own Alex and a drowning Pool Cd. Beyblade nor the Lyrics belong to me

Chapter four - I am
I've never felt so alive
I've never had to run and hide
The things I want I cannot have
The things I need are all so bad

"Alex? Hello?" Kai poked his head cautiously round the door, of the blue room, "Are you in here?"
Alex sprang up, the effects of her escape earlier had faded, leaving her with a spiting headache. "What are you doing, here?"
"Your dad said I could come in," he answered looking round the room, noticing that there was barely anything in it. A bed, a closet and a CD player with a few Cd's scattered next to it that was it, nothing personal decorated the room to make it hers.
"He's not my father." Alex told him offhandedly, "Is there something you wanted?"
"You ran off, I wanted to know why." He shrugged, couldn't she see he was only trying to help.
"Curiosity killed the cat." Alex warned him, with a smirk.
"Good thing I'm not a cat. More of a mythical bird person." He returned her smirk. "So why you'd run off, or are you going to avoid the question all day?"
"No reason." Alex turned away from him, she wasn't going to let her face show she was lying.
She heard Kai walk round her room, from the door to her. He now stood where she had left the black box open.
"You left for this?" he asked, his voice was filled with a disgust he couldn't hide.
"What if I did?" Alex retorted, filling with anger towards her self for making him so sickened at her.
"Why do you do it?" he asked again, the question that had caused Alex's world to flip.
"I did it to get away from people like you." Alex spun round to face him, her anger boiling to its limit begging for an escape route, "I do it to stop from hurting."
Kai was partially stunned, he stood gapping at the girl.
"Get out" she said in a calmer voice. Kai did as he was asked and left.
What you say
I could've been
I am
You could've been
You are

Alex looked at the black box, it was still open from her little trip. She pushed it closed and slid it under the bed again.
"This is what I am" she tried to convince herself, "I am nothing, and deserve nothing. Not your kindness, not care, nothing."
She swallowed, trying to hold back a tear. She couldn't cry, she hand cried since that day, and she wasn't going to start now.
After regaining control over her emotions, she dragged herself to the kitchen where the man that wasn't her father was.
She opened the fridge ad was greeted by the smell of sweet berry pie. She reached past the fresh pastry and grabbed a sandwich. Then walked back out of the room not listening to the man who wasn't her father's comments of 'waste of space'.
My best excuse is that I'm drained
From everything that keeps me sane
My sickness keeps me in control
From everything you'll never know

"Why am I like this?" Alex asked herself, looking out the window in hope to see Kai, but he wasn't there. He wasn't at the park with his skateboard messing up a grind. Alex wondered where he was, what he was doing, who he was thinking about. "Forget him." She told herself, walking out the door fresh air might be able to calm her thoughts, it was better than her normal escape.
She walked over to the park, staying in the far wooded area. She loved walking here, it was so secluded and there was hardly anyone ever there. She peered through the trees to the half pipe, still no Kai. Alex scolded herself for looking for him, then turned back into the darkness of the wooded area.
Enjoying the nothingness she stood in, so dark and quiet. It filled her with control over her life, Alex wish she didn't have to leave, this was the only place she felt she didn't need to escape from. This was her Paradise, it was the only place she felt alive.
Does it make you happy
Does it make you mad
Why am I still laughing
Look at what you had

"Alex! Baby, got some new stuff, you wanna try?" Josh Mellows saw her perched on a fallen log in the woods. He was the local 'supplier', he always managed to get his hands on some 'effective' chemicals, and Alex always got to have first pickings, after all she was his favourite customer.
Alex had always wondered why he became a dealer, for what he had told her about his life before it was pretty good. He was a straight A student, he was popular and his parents doted on him as he was their only child. His life was perfect, at least compared to some peoples.
"You know it." She said with a smile and took a lit joint off him, an image of Kai holding her flittered in her mind and she paused staring at what she held.
Does it make you feel good
Does it make you sick
That you knew that I would
Be the one to trip
No Control

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, observing her pause.
"Nothing." Alex then realised that whenever she was asked what was wrong, she always answered 'nothing', is that why no one ever cared? Or was that a result of no one caring.
"I have to go" she told him and handed back the burning stick.
"What?" Josh exclaimed as Alex walked away, from her paradise in the woods. Glancing over to the half pipe, seeing Kai there on his own practising a flip or something, made her suddenly proud, she had walked away from her escape.
Without realising it she had stopped walking and stood watching Kai on his board. A helper she recognised from one of the help centres had started talking to him.
"Wonder why?" she thought aloud, thinking of the times she ha shunted the guy when he was trying to help. She couldn't help it though, he pitied her. Pity was something Alex didn't need, no matter how bad anything got.
Any good?