22 Ways To Kill The Paige
Satisfactorily
"Is that a word? . . . Well it is now."
"SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Charmed, although I hear it is going off to the highest bidder. I claim KIT!!!!! (Sorry Kit-the-misfit-cat-whose-story- rules-by-the-way). And in case Brad Kern and his band of evil demon writers want to sue me they should know that THEY, being the exaggerated word, own Charmed, and J.Me (that's me) does not. I'm glad we got that settled.
A/N~~~ Okay firstly I would like to thank the clothing store Motif which I do not own but they have this skirt I luuuuuuuuuuuv sooooo much it's so awesum! I'm begging Judy- that's my mum- to get it for me for my birthday cos it's so cool!
A/N~~~ My birthday is soon! March 30th! Cool, almost.
A/N~~~ "SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
A/N~~~ Laura (Tinx) lubs Paul and K8 (Katouschka) lubs Dushi!
A/N~~~ Thanks to Laura for helping with some important details of this chapter, ie. What happened with Paul.
22 Ways To Kill Paige, with special guest stars Tinx and Katouschka
Paige sat on the front steps of the manor, reading the newspaper. She had on jeans, 2 jumpers, a ski mask, a ski hat, 2 layers of socks and running shoes; after all, she didn't want to accidentally get a tan or anything!!! She didn't notice the headline of the paper, being 'Alarmingly Pale Girl Survives Coffin Accident!' She continued reading the paper. Turned the Paige*. Read the paper. Paige*.
(Bored yet?)
Paige pretended to read the paper once again as kids were passing to go to school, and she was a little embarrassed that she couldn't read. Sure, the pictures were interesting but wouldn't it be fascinating to really know what the words meant!?!?! Oh boy! Paige was getting excited at the thought. She looked up to see 2 teenagers staring at her. They were standing on the step directly below hers and reading the cover of the paper with strange looks on their faces. They finished after 2.3 seconds and looked back at her intently.
"Can I help you?" She asked, screwing her face up like a baby.
"Can we have your autographs?" The girls asked innocently.
"Sure!" Paige grinned. "What are your names?" She looked around the girls to see 2 boys standing at the bottom of the steps. "Those your boyfriends?" She grinned. "I have a boyfriend!"
"Don't lie!" One of the girls spat.
The other shushed her. "Well I'm Tinx and this is Katouschka. We're a huge fan of yours, we just wish you would stay dead!"
"Oh, well I'm sorry but I keep coming back to life!" Paige frowned.
"I have a boyfriend!" Katouschka told her importantly. "His name is Dushko and that's him on the right." She smirked at Paige.
"Mine is called Paul! He's hotter than Dushi!" Tinx yelled at Karouschka.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Would you guys shut up, what are you, 10!" Paige yelled at them.
Katouschka narrowed her eyes. "We're 13!"
Paul came running up behind them. "AND YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
Paige screamed. "No!"
"Yes!" Katouschka and Tinx yelled, pelting oranges at Paige. Unfortunately, they just bounced off her skin!
"I'm telling my mum on you!" Paige screamed before running inside.
"Alright, that's a wrap!" Dushi yelled from the sidewalk.
Later that day, Paige was in the bath, trying to rinse of all residue from the oranges, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't!
"What are you doing?" Piper came into the bathroom and glared at Paige.
"Trying to wash myself."
"You might want to take your clothes off."
Paige hadn't thought of that. Paige hadn't thought at all. No change there.
She finally climbed back into the bath, minus her clothes 20 minutes later. No matter how hard she tried, she could not take off her jeans!!!! In the end she had had to call Piper for help, who had suggested she push them down over her feet instead.
As she was getting relaxed and closing her eyes, Leo came in and began to put on his make up.
"Leo?"
"What?!?! We're going out for dinner. It's the whole family for once." He went back to applying olive green eyeliner. "You know, this is a great colour for me! It really brings out my eyes!"
"So, who's going to this family dinner?" Paige asked.
"Duh! The whole family." Leo said in his special drag-queen voice, or as we know it, his natural voice.
"Great! Just give me 20 minutes and I'll be outta the bath."
"Who said you were invited?"
"But you said-"
"SHUSH! I have to concentrate, the last time I got some lippy on my teeth."
Leo bared his teeth into the mirror. "PERFECT!"
As he walked out, Pheobe walked in and began blow-drying her hair.
"Uh, Pheebs, how come I'm not going to this family dinner?" Paige asked.
"You'll be dead." Pheobe told her casually.
"Not this time! My powers still work!" Yelled Paige, orbing out of the tub.
Or, at least trying to orb out of the tub.
"Piper's idea. Orange bubble bath!" Pheobe smiled innocently before throwing the still-plugged-in-hair-dryer into the bath, hitting the water and causing lighting sparks of electricity.
"Interesting." Pheobe stated. "Hair dryers don't like water much."
She walked into the hallway where Cole was waiting.
"Aaah! Oh, Cole. What's up?"
"YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
"Oh no!!" Pheobe gasped, remembering something.
"What? You, don't like candid camera?"
"It's not that! I wasted a whole good hair-dryer on Paige!"
Cole thought for a second, before "SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
"Is that a word? . . . Well it is now."
"SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Charmed, although I hear it is going off to the highest bidder. I claim KIT!!!!! (Sorry Kit-the-misfit-cat-whose-story- rules-by-the-way). And in case Brad Kern and his band of evil demon writers want to sue me they should know that THEY, being the exaggerated word, own Charmed, and J.Me (that's me) does not. I'm glad we got that settled.
A/N~~~ Okay firstly I would like to thank the clothing store Motif which I do not own but they have this skirt I luuuuuuuuuuuv sooooo much it's so awesum! I'm begging Judy- that's my mum- to get it for me for my birthday cos it's so cool!
A/N~~~ My birthday is soon! March 30th! Cool, almost.
A/N~~~ "SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
A/N~~~ Laura (Tinx) lubs Paul and K8 (Katouschka) lubs Dushi!
A/N~~~ Thanks to Laura for helping with some important details of this chapter, ie. What happened with Paul.
22 Ways To Kill Paige, with special guest stars Tinx and Katouschka
Paige sat on the front steps of the manor, reading the newspaper. She had on jeans, 2 jumpers, a ski mask, a ski hat, 2 layers of socks and running shoes; after all, she didn't want to accidentally get a tan or anything!!! She didn't notice the headline of the paper, being 'Alarmingly Pale Girl Survives Coffin Accident!' She continued reading the paper. Turned the Paige*. Read the paper. Paige*.
(Bored yet?)
Paige pretended to read the paper once again as kids were passing to go to school, and she was a little embarrassed that she couldn't read. Sure, the pictures were interesting but wouldn't it be fascinating to really know what the words meant!?!?! Oh boy! Paige was getting excited at the thought. She looked up to see 2 teenagers staring at her. They were standing on the step directly below hers and reading the cover of the paper with strange looks on their faces. They finished after 2.3 seconds and looked back at her intently.
"Can I help you?" She asked, screwing her face up like a baby.
"Can we have your autographs?" The girls asked innocently.
"Sure!" Paige grinned. "What are your names?" She looked around the girls to see 2 boys standing at the bottom of the steps. "Those your boyfriends?" She grinned. "I have a boyfriend!"
"Don't lie!" One of the girls spat.
The other shushed her. "Well I'm Tinx and this is Katouschka. We're a huge fan of yours, we just wish you would stay dead!"
"Oh, well I'm sorry but I keep coming back to life!" Paige frowned.
"I have a boyfriend!" Katouschka told her importantly. "His name is Dushko and that's him on the right." She smirked at Paige.
"Mine is called Paul! He's hotter than Dushi!" Tinx yelled at Karouschka.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Would you guys shut up, what are you, 10!" Paige yelled at them.
Katouschka narrowed her eyes. "We're 13!"
Paul came running up behind them. "AND YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
Paige screamed. "No!"
"Yes!" Katouschka and Tinx yelled, pelting oranges at Paige. Unfortunately, they just bounced off her skin!
"I'm telling my mum on you!" Paige screamed before running inside.
"Alright, that's a wrap!" Dushi yelled from the sidewalk.
Later that day, Paige was in the bath, trying to rinse of all residue from the oranges, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't!
"What are you doing?" Piper came into the bathroom and glared at Paige.
"Trying to wash myself."
"You might want to take your clothes off."
Paige hadn't thought of that. Paige hadn't thought at all. No change there.
She finally climbed back into the bath, minus her clothes 20 minutes later. No matter how hard she tried, she could not take off her jeans!!!! In the end she had had to call Piper for help, who had suggested she push them down over her feet instead.
As she was getting relaxed and closing her eyes, Leo came in and began to put on his make up.
"Leo?"
"What?!?! We're going out for dinner. It's the whole family for once." He went back to applying olive green eyeliner. "You know, this is a great colour for me! It really brings out my eyes!"
"So, who's going to this family dinner?" Paige asked.
"Duh! The whole family." Leo said in his special drag-queen voice, or as we know it, his natural voice.
"Great! Just give me 20 minutes and I'll be outta the bath."
"Who said you were invited?"
"But you said-"
"SHUSH! I have to concentrate, the last time I got some lippy on my teeth."
Leo bared his teeth into the mirror. "PERFECT!"
As he walked out, Pheobe walked in and began blow-drying her hair.
"Uh, Pheebs, how come I'm not going to this family dinner?" Paige asked.
"You'll be dead." Pheobe told her casually.
"Not this time! My powers still work!" Yelled Paige, orbing out of the tub.
Or, at least trying to orb out of the tub.
"Piper's idea. Orange bubble bath!" Pheobe smiled innocently before throwing the still-plugged-in-hair-dryer into the bath, hitting the water and causing lighting sparks of electricity.
"Interesting." Pheobe stated. "Hair dryers don't like water much."
She walked into the hallway where Cole was waiting.
"Aaah! Oh, Cole. What's up?"
"YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
"Oh no!!" Pheobe gasped, remembering something.
"What? You, don't like candid camera?"
"It's not that! I wasted a whole good hair-dryer on Paige!"
Cole thought for a second, before "SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"
