22 Ways To Kill Paige

Chapter 11

A/N~~~ Thankyou for all the reviews, sorry I haven't updated in a while.
For people that think I have a wacked out sense of humour, I agree with you. But just try sitting through a French or Science class with Kimberley
and I, you'll end up in tears of laughter too!

*Under NO circumstances, did I ask the French assistant teacher 'Voulez vou couche ave moi, misseur?' Translation: "Will you sleep with me tonight?"

It probably doesn't' sound funny but if you saw the look on Erwan's face. .
. .aaaah I'm cracking up all over again. What a dolt.

A/N~~~ Kira, you're sooo gorgeous! Thankyou for ALL the reviews! I lub you and I'm glad we're friends again cos you rock! Kizza Rox. Sox. Box. Lox. Dox. Stox. Fox! Foxy Roxy. That's Kimberley's dog's name. Hi Roxy. You're
Foxy. This is getting pointless now....

Chapter 11

In which Paige learns the pain of sewing

"Paige! Get yo white mutha *beepin* ass down those yo stairs!" Yelled some
random white rap try hard who had walked in off the street.

"Just a second! Aiight?" She yelled back, a little unsure of the 'aiight'
part.

Piper walked in to see her younger sister about to walk out the door in a sheer black low-cut dress, originally displaying her nipples through the
thin fabric.

"Paige! Get yo white-ass back here!" She yelled angrily. Paige turned and
blew Piper a kiss.

Piper stomped her feet angrily. Sometimes she just couldn't understand her
sister. That's why it was fun to kill her.

Paige walked down the manor steps, guilt eating her insides. She'd never
just walked out on Piper before. What if there were like, some cooking
emergency? She quickly ran back up the steps, shutting the door on her
loser date."

"Piper! I'm sorry, are you okay?" Paige asked hurriedly, rushing over to her sister, putting the back of her hand on Piper's forehead as if to feel
her temperature.

"Get away from me you flee-infested mutant!" Piper screeched. "Leo!"

"What?" He yelled from where he was ironing in a drag voice.

"Paige touched me again!"

"Paige! How many times have I told you to thoroughly clean yourself before
you touch your sister?"

"Sorry," Paige shied away; her head slumped in her hands.

Piper exhaled loudly. "Geez, if you're goinna make it all about you. That's
okay. THIS TIME. But don't make it a regular thing, kay?"

Paige nodded giddily.

"And where's my sistah, bitch? The one that I don't like. You know, the
ugly one with the big ass."

"I'm here! I'm here!" Yelled Paige, jumping up and down excitedly. Piper
had never spoken of her in such a positive way before.

"Not you. The other one!" Piper looked at Paige disgustedly. "I never
realised how much the two of you had in common. Ugh!"

Paige looked at Piper uncertainly. "You mean, you don't like me?" Tears
began to form in her eyes.

"Paige. Paige. Paige Paige Paige. I'm not going to answer that,"

Paige nodded and walked away, into the conservatory to look at some. . .
plants.

"Piper!" Pheobe called in her droning male voice. "Come here."

"Are you okay Hebee? You sound like a thirteen year old boy whose voice is
breaking."

"Are you asking if I have uneven amounts of testosterone in my body? If
you're asking, the answer dangles dangerously close to a yes."

"Are you sure you're okay? Your sentences are sounding. . . well formulated
and the words sound like they're coming from someone with half an
intellect."

Pheobe cackled hysterically. "That's because of the little spell I used
doofus!" She noticed Piper glaring at her.

"Pheobe! Personal gain!"

"I know, it's just I was hoping that maybe my boobs would go as big as
Paige's did that time after she stole the book of shadows."

"Pheobe. Pheobe. Pheobe Pheobe Pheobe. They already ARE that big. That's
why you have not much of a brain, see. Your fun bags take up too much
space."

"Me no understand."

"Shut that yo mouth, bitchbee! Now come help me murder that precious lil'
gay ass looking at those weird-ass plants!"

"Piper, um, why are you talking like a wigger?"

"What yo wigger?"

"A wannabe African-American! Get some yo brain!"

"Hey! I can talk like dis mutha ***** if I wanta! New Yorkers talk like
this."

"Yes, but they don't sound as ridiculous as you do."

"Shuddup yo mutha ***** white-ass! Now go get me some orange pins or
summat!"

Pheobe obliged, calling merrily for Paige. She came out of the 'plant place' and the two tackled her to the groud, sticking seven pins into her.
All the pins contained an orange fluid. poison. thing.

"Ow!" Paige screamed mercifully. The two Halliwell sisters laughed
mercifully at her pain, using her as a rather chubby pin cushion.

As they stood back to admire their handiwork, they noticed small squirts of blood from where the pins were and laughed at their fun. But Pheobe's laugh
soon got annoying so Piper slammed her face into a wall.

And they lived happily everly after!