Author's Notes: This part is rather low on the B/A-ness.it's mostly about Angel and the others. It's kind of a filler part, but you'll be getting to some B/A moments soon!

AN2: Not beta'd, so any mistakes are mine.

AN3: Special note to those of you on ff.net - there's a new short fic up on my website, couldn't post it here because of ff.net's rating restrictions. So if you want to check it out, go to my profile and click on the link to my website. The fic is called 'Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride'.

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Part 6 - Tell Me Why

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Three weeks had passed and Angel was finally feeling settled in. Sunnydale was home again, almost like it was once before. Almost was the key word there. He was still missing one key piece of that puzzle: Buffy. His beloved was still in a coma. Her condition had not changed at all in the recent weeks, but he still had faith that she would be all right. It was all that kept him going at times. Even if when she awoke she wanted nothing to do with him. It only mattered that she got well and had a chance to be happy.

Angel hadn't forgotten his vow either, that he would help in any way possible. It was why he spent most of his free time at the Giles'. When Joyce and Giles had returned from their retreat he had spoken with them. Joyce was leery on letting him help, she still remembered the pain he caused Buffy. She softened after a while and they developed an amicable relationship since then. He would often run errands for her, or help out around the house, and he enjoyed the meaningful conversations he had with Giles over tea in the garden.

But it was his time with Buffy that meant the most. He didn't know if she knew he was there. He hoped she did. Sometimes he would read Irish poetry to her, other times he would tell her stories of his time away from Sunnydale, and every so often he would just sit with her, holding her hand, and stroking her hair. He hoped that his actions comforted her soul, even though the others believed that they were just meaningless gestures. To him, they meant everything.

Even though he spent large quantities of time with Buffy or her family, he managed to let the gang convince him to go out once or twice a week. Their relationship had improved greatly in the time he'd been back. Xander still looked upon him with hatred, but the others forgave him, or maybe they just pushed his previous actions to the back of their minds. Angel had to admit that it was nice to hang with the group again. They were the best friends he'd ever had, but it wasn't the same without Buffy there.

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"Hey Will, how's my favorite red head doing?" asked Xander after Willow arrived and sat down at the table he'd chosen at the Espresso place.

"Xander...aren't I the only red head you know?" Willow replied with a glare.

"Oh....yeah, right. You still didn't answer my question," grinned Xander, taking a gulp of his coffee.

"I'm good, tired though. Work was busy. I love setting up computer systems, but everyone wants their problem solved before everyone else's," sighed Willow in exasperation.

"That's the only negative about having a job, you have to deal with people. I had some guy come to the office today to tell me that he wanted the blueprints for his building changed when we're starting the job tomorrow," related Xander. "So anyway, we hangin' tonight, ya know, Friday? Bronze?"

"I think so, Oz is in LA with the band, but I'm free. I haven't asked Angel yet though," spoke Willow, knowing that Xander still wasn't keen on the fact that Angel was back.

"Angel," Xander said mockingly.

"You're going to have to get over it sooner or later Xander," Willow stated with a pointed look at her friend.

"I've been nice. Haven't I been nice? Doesn't mean I have to like him!" he replied. He just didn't understand how everyone could forget about what Angel had done.

"Why can't you just let it go?" prodded Willow. And men claimed women were the one's who held grudges!

"Willow, Angel was my best friend for how long...eight years? And one day he just up and dumps his girlfriend, and leaves town without saying goodbye or ever talking to us again. I can't forgive him for what he did to Buffy," explained Xander with a shake of his head.

"You know as well as I do that what happened wasn't his fault, or at least not all his fault. I'm angry with him too for what he did, but it's in the past. We can't change it. We've all made some bad choices in our lives," reminded Willow.

"I know. I just wish I knew why he did it. Why he left," Xander relayed of the issue that bothered him most.

"Well, why don't you ask him?" concluded Willow. Men never took the easy solution to anything.

"Do you ever *not* think so logically?" responded Xander with a scowl.

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Later that evening Angel found himself sitting out in the garden at the Giles'. After a stressful week at their jobs, Joyce and Giles had decided to enjoy an early evening out, leaving Angel pretty much alone at the house except for Buffy and her nurse. He was almost glad they weren't home. He very rarely got to spend time by himself, except when he was with Buffy, but that was different.

Now, he found himself sitting on a bench, staring up at the stars. The air around him was utterly still, the only sounds to be heard came from the small fountain a few feet away. He'd missed evenings like this, just absorbing nature all around him. The clouds above him shifted allowing a bright streak of moonlight to fall before him. Glancing back up at the stars, Angel wondered if Buffy's spirit was up there somewhere watching him, and if it would ever return to her body.

"Enjoying your brooding?" came a voice to his right.

Angel looked up to find Xander standing a few feet away.

"I wasn't brooding, just sitting," he answered. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to see if you are coming out with us tonight...and yes, you were brooding," corrected Xander with a smirk.

"Haven't decided yet." Angel ignored Xander's last statement.

"And I came to talk to you," Xander conceded after taking a deep breath. He wasn't quite sure he wanted to have this conversation with Angel.

"So talk," requested Angel. He had known this confrontation was forthcoming. Xander was the only one of the group not willing to let go of the past and give him a chance to make amends.

"Why'd you do it man?" Xander questioned, anger slightly tinting his words.

"What?" Angel responded, even though he knew what he was referring to.

"Leave like you did," furthered Xander, honestly wanting to know the reasons behind his friend's actions.

"Because I thought it was the right thing to do," Angel stated simply even though he knew it wasn't enough of an explanation.

"In what universe? You weren't here. You didn't see how hurt and lost she was," replied Xander sharply, his mind drifting back to right after Angel had first left.

"I know," Angel cringed.

"So tell me why," spat Xander

Angel sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He knew there was no way Xander would understand why he did it and accept it, because he couldn't even accept his own actions anymore. Not when they'd caused so much pain for everyone, not just Buffy. At the time, though, he'd had a reason. One that he thought was valid. So he explained, or tried to explain, to Xander about the decision he made five years earlier. When he finished he just sat there and waited for Xander to react.

"You said you thought it was right *then*, and what, you're not so sure now?" posed Xander, not wanting to admit that he could somewhat understand Angel's reasoning for what he had done.

"No, I'm not. How can I be when everyone around has been hurt by me leaving? Buffy most of all, but not just her, you guys, her family. You've all suffered. How can I still believe what I did was right when all this has happened?" said Angel as he stood up and walked toward the fountain.

"It's not about that. It's about choice. You took hers away. I can't blame you for all that happened afterwards. Like Willow said, Buffy made her own choices. You can't be held responsible for them, but you took her choice away. A relationship isn't a one way street. You're both in it together. She should have had a say in what direction your future was going in," spoke Xander, the rare clarity of thoughts surprising even himself.

Angel turned to stare slightly at Xander, more than a little shocked at his truthful, concise words. "When did you get so wise?"

"It's a rare moment, don't get used to it. But do you see what I'm saying?" asked Xander, hoping he'd made his point.

"Yeah, I guess I do. I just wanted to do the right thing and obviously I didn't," shrugged Angel as he sat back down on the bench.

"Not gonna argue with you there. And I'm not gonna say I'm not still pissed off at you, because I am," Xander iterated, making sure Angel understood that he was not entirely forgiven.

"I know, I can understand that," Angel replied, giving a nod of head in acceptance.

"Good. Now that that's out of the way.are you coming to The Bronze tonight?" Xander asked, grateful to get away from serious conversation topics.

"Yeah, probably. I'm going to go sit with Buffy until Giles and Joyce get back and then I'll meet you guys there," Angel stated. He would have been happier spending the night with Buffy, but he knew it was good to get out once in a while.

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TBC.feedback much appreciated!