Author's Notes: Gotta send thanks out to everyone who sent feedback for Part 9: August528, Christine, lana, TK, clues4eva, Tariq, and NorthernStar. Thank you so much for the feedback!!!

Warning: Gets a little angsty at the end!

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Part 10 - Why Are You Here

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Angel groaned and slumped back against the cool tiled wall of the shower. He was emotionally worn-out. The hours he spent with Buffy had been incredible, wonderful, amazing or any other positive adjective. But at the same time they had been draining.

He'd spent half the time with her worrying about when she would suddenly realize that he shouldn't have been there at all. And the other half the time he was caught up in comforting her. Not that he minded, but it was definitely challenging on an emotional level.

They had spent an hour after breakfast just sitting outside. Occasionally they would speak, but mostly there was only silence. Angel had no idea what to say to her. Part of that was because he didn't want to accidentally say something that she was not yet ready to hear or something that would snap her back into the reality where he had dumped her five years prior. And the other part was because he just honestly wasn't sure what to say to her.

How do you talk to someone who you hadn't spoken to in five years and who also had just come out of a nine month coma? That was a question he had absolutely no answer to. So to keep from saying the wrong thing, he mostly just said nothing. But he didn't think she minded. It wasn't lost on him that Buffy seemed to be completely overwhelmed by her situation.

For the most part, she had been fine throughout the morning. But, then, apparently, the stress had overtaken her and led to a raging crying fit. It had started out as something simple. She had wanted to take a shower and as she went to go it suddenly occurred to her that she had no idea where the shower was or even how to get back to her room. In her mind, she'd never been in the house before.

The frustration at her lack of knowledge tumbled quickly into the small breakdown which afterwards left her exhausted. Helpless to do anything else, Angel only held her and then carried her up to her bed and sat while she slept for an hour.

Upon awakening, her doctor and the psychologist Joyce had contacted were waiting to see her. With a promise to return later, Angel had left to return to his apartment in order to shower and change his clothes. Which was what he was doing at the moment. The alone time also gave him space to gather himself back together, to try and restore some of his energy before heading back over to the Giles'. Even though he was emotionally tired, he couldn't wait to return to his beloved.

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After knocking softly on the door Willow peeked her head into Buffy's room. She didn't want to wake her but was eager to see how her day had gone. Stepping further into the room, Willow found Buffy sitting in one of the plush chairs going through a large stack of cards. They were the ones that she had saved while Buffy had been in a coma.

"Hey," Willow spoke softly.

Buffy turned and smiled when she saw her friend standing their. "Hey. How was work?"

"Same as always..work-like. How was your day?" she questioned as she sat in the other chair in the room. Willow couldn't help but feel happy inside at Buffy's apparent happiness to see her. It had been a long time since they had been true friends.

"It was.okay.I guess. It's just all so weird. Nothing here is familiar," shrugged Buffy, not particularly wanting to talk about her lack of memories at the moment.

"Where's Angel?" prodded Willow sensing Buffy's preference to not talk about her condition.

"He went.home.to change and stuff," she answered, shaking her head slightly at the weird feeling that passed through her at the word 'home'. She couldn't help but feel like there was something she should know.

"Oh ok. Is he coming back?" Willow asked gently. She could see the wheels turning in Buffy's head. It would only be a matter of time before it all clicked for her. Who knew what would happen then.

"Uh.yeah.," Buffy replied distractedly. Her mind was too busy trying to sort through the jumble of thoughts, trying to piece together what it was that was nagging her.

"You look tired. Do you want me to leave so you can get some rest?" Willow stated as she stood up from the chair she had seated herself in. Buffy did look tired, but really she didn't want to face the barrage of questions that were looking like they would spew forth from her friend at any moment.

"Yeah, I think I will lay down for a little bit," said Buffy with an exaggerated yawn. She was a bit sleepy, but mostly she just needed some time by herself to try and figure out what kept irking her memory.

"Ok, get some sleep. I'll check in later to see if you want some dinner," Willow offered before leaving the room.

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Once outside Buffy's room, Willow found Oz waiting for her. With a sigh, she sat down next to him on the small sofa. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she worried about what was probably forthcoming.

"How's she doing?" Oz asked as he took his girlfriend's hand in his.

"Pretty good, considering. But.but I think it's about to get a lot tougher," she answered as she leaned her head back against the wall.

"How so?" he posed, slightly confused.

"Remember how I said that she hadn't yet questioned Angel being here?" When Oz nodded, she continued. "Well, I think it's finally coming to her that Angel left and shouldn't really be here. I could see in her eyes that she was preoccupied with something."

"Oh boy," was all Oz could say in response. He knew that there would be trouble, he had been there when they had broken up five years earlier.

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After Willow left her room, Buffy went over and sat on the windowseat as she had the night before. Her mind would not stop bugging her that there was something important she should be realizing. It had started with her conversation with Willow, so Buffy went over what had been said in the short talk between them.

Thinking for a few minutes, her thoughts kept focusing on Angel. The feeling was strongest when he was on her mind. Whatever was bothering her had to have something to do with him. But she just couldn't figure out what.

Even though she was a bit confused at moment, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of Angel. Waking up to his handsome face earlier that morning had been perfect. He always knew how to comfort her when life was taking its toll on her. He was the perfect...

...boyfriend.

Her eyes suddenly snapped open. Angel *was* the perfect boyfriend. But he wasn't her boyfriend anymore. Everything suddenly clicked into place with that revelation.

Angel had broken up with her after their high school graduation. A shudder rippled through her body as she remembered the night that he had shattered her heart. In all the confusion and bustle of the day before their history hadn't even crossed her mind.

He had dumped her and left town, leaving her behind without a second glance. That had been months ago. But no, she realized quickly. It hadn't been months ago. To her it was, but she was missing *four* years worth of memories. Had Angel been gone all that time? Had he returned and they had worked things out?

Her head started to ache at the inner turmoil over Angel. The memory of him breaking up with her ran over and over in her head. The question over how long he'd been back in Sunnydale also circled round her thoughts. Her need to be close to him, to the one person who always made her feel safe warred with the knowledge that he had just cast her aside and left.

Resting her forehead against the cool glass, Buffy closed her eyes. Tears crept down her cheeks as she once again wished that everything that was happening to her would just go away. All she wanted was to go back to when she had been happy and loved.

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Two hours later, Angel strolled down the hallway toward Buffy's room. He'd been held up longer than expected at his apartment because his mother had called and talked for an hour. She had been happy to hear that Buffy was awake and had asked him to say hello for her.

Buffy had become close to his family in the almost four years they had dated. She was practically part of the family. His parents would have her over for dinner at least once a week. They still didn't quite understand why Angel had broken up with her. And to be truthful, he really didn't know anymore either.

At her door, he paused for a moment. Why was he nervous about seeing her? They'd spent the night before and most of the morning together. He glanced down at the bouquet of deep red roses in his hand, taking a moment to make sure they looked perfect. With a deep breath he entered into her room.

Buffy heard the door open. She knew who was there without looking to see. She always knew when Angel was nearby. Again, her mind was at war with conflicting thoughts. She desperately wanted to feel his arms around her, but she also wanted answers. Her need for the latter took precedence.

Without turning to face him, she spoke. "How long have you been back?"

"I just got here," he replied, moving toward where she was sitting.

"That's not what I meant," she stated curtly, willing the tears to remain unseen in her eyes.

Angel gulped visibly. His eyes drifted shut as his shoulders sagged. He'd known this was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. Taking a deep breath, he answered. "A month ago."

"So you've been gone for five years." It wasn't really a question, but more of a statement.

"Yes," he admitted softly.

For long minutes, silence dominated in the room. Buffy was trying to sort through the muddled mess in her mind, leaving her vacant of words. The confusion was overwhelming. Angel had left, but now he was standing only a few feet away. She honestly had no idea how to react to that.

Knowing he had to say something, Angel broke the silence first. "Buffy.I- I'm so-"

He didn't get to finish his statement when Buffy interrupted. "Why are you here?"

"W-what?" he stuttered. How could she not expect him to be here?

"You left me remember? So *why* exactly are you here?" she stated harshly.

"Buffy, my leaving had nothing to do with my feelings for you. You know th- " again his words were cut off.

"No!" she yelled, all the anger from their breakup suddenly bubbling to the surface. "All I *know* is that five years ago you dumped me, left me crying on my front porch. I don't *know* anything else. *You* broke my heart that night and now you expect to just leave it all in the past. I don't think so."

"Buffy, please, let me explain," he pleaded, fighting the tears forming in his eyes at the reminder of what he had done.

Gathering all of what little internal strength she had, Buffy turned to face Angel, determination evident in her eyes. "Leave."

Angel went to speak, but found that there was nothing he could say.

"Leave," she repeated, the word coming out cold and hate-filled.

He stared at her for a moment contemplating what he could say to her. But he realized that there was nothing would suffice, at least not now. The emotions in her eyes were obvious. She didn't want him there, and if that's what she wanted then he would oblige.

Staring at her for a moment longer, Angel turned and walked out of the room. He closed the door behind him, falling back against it. The soft cries from inside the room were not missed by him and he couldn't help but curse himself once again for what he had done to her five years before.

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TBC.feedback.yes, please!