Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who sent feedback on Part 10:
spoiledsquish, Mav034, TK, Alicia, MissKittyFantasico345, Christine,
NorthernStar, slayer, immaturelittlegirl, and Tracy
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Part 11- Craving Forgiveness
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Willow stopped abruptly upon entering the open area outside of Buffy's room. Sitting there in one of the chairs was Angel, his head cradled in his hands. She immediately knew what must have happened. Sighing, she made her way over to him and sat down.
"You okay?" she asked with while placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Angel looked up at her, tear tracks visible on his cheeks. "I-I'll be fine."
"She just needs some time, Angel. I can only imagine how confusing everything is for her right now," she stated, her heart aching for her two friends.
"I know, I just want to be there for her. But she told me to leave," he whispered hoarsely.
"I know you do, but she needs time to accept that you're here. It's still fresh in her mind, you leaving and all that," explained Willow. It was hard for her, she could understand how both of them were feeling.
"I wish I could explain to her why I left, but I don't think she'll want to talk to me," Angel replied, his shoulders slumping at the prospect of not being able to make things right with Buffy.
"Give her a few days, then maybe try to talk to her. In the meantime I'll see if I can get her to let you come visit," offered Willow as she wondered how she would be able to do that without making Buffy feel like she was taking Angel's side.
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In her room, Buffy sat slumped against the headboard of her bed, tears still streaming down her face. Part of her wanted so badly to have Angel hold her, but she just couldn't let him. Not after what he had done to her. He was the one that left. What right did he have to just reappear in her life?
Her body shook as she recalled the night he broke her heart. She'd been so happy then. Graduating from high school, hanging with her friends, and she'd had the silent hope that Angel was going to ask her to marry him. And then it all fell apart. He cast her aside like she was nothing. There was no way she could forgive him for what he'd done. No way.
Shaking her head, Buffy tried to push Angel out of her mind. He wasn't important. She didn't need to think about him. There were other things she needed to be thinking about at the moment. Like the images that had popped into her head during the short argument with Angel.
She didn't know what those images meant. They weren't familiar, but she felt as if she should know them. As she had sat there, steaming with anger toward Angel, clips of another argument had swarmed in her head. She'd been in a stairwell, it looked like, crying as she argued with some guy she didn't recognize. The images had been just that, images, no words or emotions associated with them. It didn't make any sense. Who was the guy and what had they been arguing about?
Slipping down under of the covers of her bed, Buffy tried to fight the tears that were once again threatening to fall, but was unsuccessful. The recent events were just too much. Realizing that Angel had been gone and returned and then the confusing images were just too much to try and ignore. The tears steadily streamed out of her eyes and onto her pillow as Buffy cried herself into a restless sleep.
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Angel walked dejectedly back into his apartment. Just a few hours earlier he had been happy and excited about how things were going with Buffy now that she was out of the coma. And now everything had gone to hell. He had known that she would realize that he wasn't supposed to be by her side or even in Sunnydale, but a small part of him had hoped that maybe she wouldn't remember or if she did that she wouldn't care.
She had, though, and she had kicked him out. Not that he could blame her. He probably would have done the same thing. After what he had done to her, he deserved nothing better than to be banned from her life. But he couldn't just walk away. He had done that once and it had been the wrong thing to do. This time he wouldn't let her go.
Now, he just needed to find a way to get her to understand what he had done, and he needed to apologize for doing it in the first place. But he couldn't go back and try to talk to her. She was too upset and it would only make things worse. Would it be better just to give her time? Honestly, he didn't know. He wasn't sure she would ever speak to him long enough for him to say everything that needed to be said. So how could he go about trying to make things right?
Sitting down at his desk, Angel attempted to brainstorm ideas of how to win back Buffy's love and trust. Flowers? Maybe, they would be a nice gesture, but they wouldn't help her to understand his actions. Presents wouldn't really work either; she would just thing he was trying to buy her affections.
As he sat there with his head resting in his hands his eyes caught site of some stationary his mother had given him before he moved. Of course! He could write her a letter. He could say everything that needed to be said without having to go to her and upset her by making her listen in a face to face conversation.
With a cautious smile, Angel pulled out a pen and a piece of paper and set about writing the letter to Buffy. He knew that he needed to explain everything to her, his feelings, his reasons, why he had returned, everything. It was the only way he could see that she might ever forgive him.
Long into the night he worked on the letter. Many crumbled up pieces of paper littered the floor around his desk, casualties of his attempts write the perfect letter. Finally, when he finished, it was near two a.m. Reading over the words, he was sure that he had said everything that he needed to. Folding up the paper, he placed it in the matching envelope. Tomorrow he would stop at a florist and get rose to send over with the letter. He just hoped that she would read it and not throw it away.
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TBC.feedback.yes, please!
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Part 11- Craving Forgiveness
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Willow stopped abruptly upon entering the open area outside of Buffy's room. Sitting there in one of the chairs was Angel, his head cradled in his hands. She immediately knew what must have happened. Sighing, she made her way over to him and sat down.
"You okay?" she asked with while placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Angel looked up at her, tear tracks visible on his cheeks. "I-I'll be fine."
"She just needs some time, Angel. I can only imagine how confusing everything is for her right now," she stated, her heart aching for her two friends.
"I know, I just want to be there for her. But she told me to leave," he whispered hoarsely.
"I know you do, but she needs time to accept that you're here. It's still fresh in her mind, you leaving and all that," explained Willow. It was hard for her, she could understand how both of them were feeling.
"I wish I could explain to her why I left, but I don't think she'll want to talk to me," Angel replied, his shoulders slumping at the prospect of not being able to make things right with Buffy.
"Give her a few days, then maybe try to talk to her. In the meantime I'll see if I can get her to let you come visit," offered Willow as she wondered how she would be able to do that without making Buffy feel like she was taking Angel's side.
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In her room, Buffy sat slumped against the headboard of her bed, tears still streaming down her face. Part of her wanted so badly to have Angel hold her, but she just couldn't let him. Not after what he had done to her. He was the one that left. What right did he have to just reappear in her life?
Her body shook as she recalled the night he broke her heart. She'd been so happy then. Graduating from high school, hanging with her friends, and she'd had the silent hope that Angel was going to ask her to marry him. And then it all fell apart. He cast her aside like she was nothing. There was no way she could forgive him for what he'd done. No way.
Shaking her head, Buffy tried to push Angel out of her mind. He wasn't important. She didn't need to think about him. There were other things she needed to be thinking about at the moment. Like the images that had popped into her head during the short argument with Angel.
She didn't know what those images meant. They weren't familiar, but she felt as if she should know them. As she had sat there, steaming with anger toward Angel, clips of another argument had swarmed in her head. She'd been in a stairwell, it looked like, crying as she argued with some guy she didn't recognize. The images had been just that, images, no words or emotions associated with them. It didn't make any sense. Who was the guy and what had they been arguing about?
Slipping down under of the covers of her bed, Buffy tried to fight the tears that were once again threatening to fall, but was unsuccessful. The recent events were just too much. Realizing that Angel had been gone and returned and then the confusing images were just too much to try and ignore. The tears steadily streamed out of her eyes and onto her pillow as Buffy cried herself into a restless sleep.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Angel walked dejectedly back into his apartment. Just a few hours earlier he had been happy and excited about how things were going with Buffy now that she was out of the coma. And now everything had gone to hell. He had known that she would realize that he wasn't supposed to be by her side or even in Sunnydale, but a small part of him had hoped that maybe she wouldn't remember or if she did that she wouldn't care.
She had, though, and she had kicked him out. Not that he could blame her. He probably would have done the same thing. After what he had done to her, he deserved nothing better than to be banned from her life. But he couldn't just walk away. He had done that once and it had been the wrong thing to do. This time he wouldn't let her go.
Now, he just needed to find a way to get her to understand what he had done, and he needed to apologize for doing it in the first place. But he couldn't go back and try to talk to her. She was too upset and it would only make things worse. Would it be better just to give her time? Honestly, he didn't know. He wasn't sure she would ever speak to him long enough for him to say everything that needed to be said. So how could he go about trying to make things right?
Sitting down at his desk, Angel attempted to brainstorm ideas of how to win back Buffy's love and trust. Flowers? Maybe, they would be a nice gesture, but they wouldn't help her to understand his actions. Presents wouldn't really work either; she would just thing he was trying to buy her affections.
As he sat there with his head resting in his hands his eyes caught site of some stationary his mother had given him before he moved. Of course! He could write her a letter. He could say everything that needed to be said without having to go to her and upset her by making her listen in a face to face conversation.
With a cautious smile, Angel pulled out a pen and a piece of paper and set about writing the letter to Buffy. He knew that he needed to explain everything to her, his feelings, his reasons, why he had returned, everything. It was the only way he could see that she might ever forgive him.
Long into the night he worked on the letter. Many crumbled up pieces of paper littered the floor around his desk, casualties of his attempts write the perfect letter. Finally, when he finished, it was near two a.m. Reading over the words, he was sure that he had said everything that he needed to. Folding up the paper, he placed it in the matching envelope. Tomorrow he would stop at a florist and get rose to send over with the letter. He just hoped that she would read it and not throw it away.
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TBC.feedback.yes, please!
