Author's Notes: My thanks and appreciation go out to: Tutu, Lauren,
Tariq, clules4eva, VP, b/a always, Christine, Courtenay, Buffy/Friends Fan,
GoodCharlottesGirl, Shahid, Nicole, lana, TK, Meghan, and Karin for
feedback on Part 16.
Warning: bad language, heart-wrenching misery, and Parker bashing.
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Part 17 - From Parker, With Love
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The sudden fleeing of his girlfriend shocked Angel into stillness momentarily. What the hell had just happened? Could that bastard's cruel words have upset her that much? Finally snapping back into the present, Angel started to move to leave the restaurant. He stopped quickly, pulling out his wallet. He tossed a few bills onto the table before running out of the restaurant after Buffy.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Buffy was sprinting down the sidewalk away from the restaurant. She needed to be anywhere, somewhere. She needed air. Her foot caught on a crack in the pavement and she fell to the ground with a thud. The pain didn't even register into consciousness.
Images flooded her mind in a swirling mass of confusion. She grabbed her head, whispering the word 'stop' to herself. Her stomach twisted into knots as she wretched its contents onto the sidewalk in front of her.
Weakly, she pulled herself to her feet, ignoring the blood trailing down her leg from the fresh gash on her knee. Tears and confusion blurred her vision as she stood. She steadied herself by grasping onto a sign post on the edge of the sidewalk.
Angel's voice shouting her name not far away spurred her back into action. She couldn't see him, couldn't talk to him, couldn't look him in the eye knowing what she now knew. She shoved herself away from the sign post and once again took off in a sprint.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Angel rounded the corner of the building and stopped. Buffy was no where to be found. He had no idea where she went. He could be going in the complete opposite direction for all he knew.
Looking in all directions, Angel tried to figure out where Buffy would go. His mind also replayed what had happened in the restaurant. Every thing the Parker guy had said was repeated in his mind.
If what the guy had said was true then Buffy had obviously been with him. Was that what had upset her so much? Possibly. But to cause her to run out of the restaurant and away from him? That seemed a bit severe. There had to be something else.
Angel tried to remember the conversation he had with Willow right after returning to Sunnydale. The one where she had told him all that had happened to Buffy while he was gone. Was what had happened tonight related to something Willow had told him? He tried to remember, but the conversation had been so long ago and he had been so out of it from finding out that Buffy was in a coma that he couldn't think of anything.
All he knew was that something that guy had either said or done, or maybe both, had caused Buffy's actions. She had been relatively fine until that jerk showed up. If he ever saw that rat bastard again he wouldn't hold back on beating his scrawny ass.
Shaking his head, Angel forced the violent thoughts out of his mind. Right now he needed to find Buffy. And fast. She was in no condition to be by herself. He was amazed as it was that her remaining physical weakness had allowed her to run away as she had.
He stood there in the middle of the sidewalk trying to figure out where she would go. The realization dawned on him suddenly. There was one place she would always go when she needed to be alone, or when they wanted some quiet time together. As he took off running, Angel hoped he was right and that was where she was.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
She stared unfocused at the wild, untamed flowers twinning their way around the forsaken garden. She hadn't even realized where she was going until she arrived there. The there being the old, abandoned mansion on Crawford Street.
She'd discovered the place not long after moving to Sunnydale while out walking one day. Since then it had become a bit of a safe haven for her. Whenever she was stressed, or upset she'd go there, and then later it became her and Angel's secret spot. She'd even once told him that she planned on buying and restoring the place someday.
Her knees buckled as the images continued to assault her senses. Tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked leaving mascara darkened trails across her skin. But she could have cared less about her appearance at that moment.
Unable to stand any longer, Buffy collapsed to the ground. Her back rested against the empty fountain as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She absentmindedly swiped at the drying blood crusting around the closing gash on her leg before resting her head against her knees. Sobs shook her body as she rocked back and forth on the cold stone underneath her.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
That was how Angel found her almost fifteen minutes later when he arrived at the mansion. Relief coursed through him from the fact that he'd guessed right on where she would go. His eyes watered at the sight of her shaking body on the ground. He approached slowly, she obviously hadn't noticed his presence yet. Should he say anything? He didn't want to have her run off again.
He cautiously moved toward her, coming to a stop directly in front of her body. She gave no sign that she was aware he was there. Silently, he crouched at her feet. He wanted to take her into his arms, but didn't think it wise.
"Buffy?" he spoke as softly and gently as possible. When he received no response he placed a hand onto hers which were clasped around her legs.
Buffy's head shot up at the touch. Her eyes widened when she saw Angel kneeling in front of her. Quickly, she scrambled away from him and came to her feet. She backed away from him as he stood also.
"Buffy, baby, please...tell me what's wrong," he pleaded, heartbroken over the look in her eyes and her actions.
She continued to back away from him, obeying the urge to flee. Her eyes darted around the garden looking for the best way to escape.
"Buffy," Angel took a step closer. "Baby, whatever it is, you can tell me. You can always tell me anything."
Her movements stopped at his last words. Could she tell him? Could she really tell him? Would he hate her? Would he be disgusted? She looked into his eyes and saw the love shining in them. How could she tell him what she now knew?
Angel sensed that he was starting to get through to her. He took yet another step toward her. "Please, baby, talk to me."
She stared at him momentarily before closing her eyes. Her hands trembled as she tried to piece the images into a more cohesive memory. More tears streamed down her cheeks as events played out in her mind. Slowly, her eyes opened, pained radiated out of them as she once again looked to Angel.
"I remember," she spoke in a choked whisper.
"What do you remember, sweetie?" he asked as softly as possible, not wanting to frighten her. He was fearing whatever she was about to tell him. It obviously wasn't good judging by her condition.
"I-I...I...," she stopped speaking and tried to calm her raging emotions. "I don't know where to start."
"Just start at the beginning, take as long as you need. I'll be here for you," he reassured her.
Buffy paced for a moment, her memory still a bit fractured and confused. "It was sophomore year, n-not long after it s-started. I met h-h...him."
"Parker?" Angel prodded slightly.
"Yeah. I bumped into h-him in the dorms one day. He s-seemed so n-nice. H-he was and upper classmen, and I-I couldn't believe he n-noticed me," she paced a few more steps and wiped at tears in her eyes. "W-we started hanging out a-a lot."
Angel saw her eyes look to him as if she was afraid he would angry that she had gone out with someone else. He walked to her and took her hands into his, warming her clammy skin. "It's okay, baby. I'm not angry."
"We went o-out for a few weeks. T-then one night I went back to his dorm room with him...," she couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't want to say the words out loud.
Angel nodded his head in understanding, knowing it was hard for her to talk about and seeing the pain in her eyes.
"The n-next m-morning, he was acting a l-little weird, but I b-brushed it off," the tears fell harder from her eyes at the memory. "Then l-later when I tried to t-talk to him, he...he..."
Pulling her into his arms, he soothingly rubbed her back. "Shh, baby. It's okay."
"He...he said it was fun. That....that was all it was. Fun," she sobbed into Angel's chest. "I-I couldn't believe he'd d-do that."
Rage flared in Angel that someone could do that to any woman, let alone Buffy. Who the hell did this guy think he was?
"I w-was crushed. I-I didn't want to talk to a-anybody," she mumbled, shuttering as the images, fresh in her memory, replayed in her mind. "Then...then..."
Angel pulled away slightly and lifted her chin to look into her eyes. He had a sinking suspicion that he knew what was about to come. "Then what, baby?"
"T-then a f-few weeks later....I-I realized I-I w-was pregnant," the last word was barely audible as her tears fell harder.
His shoulders sagged at the brutal revelation that he had suspected but not really wanted to hear. And he had an overwhelming need to kill the son of a bitch who was responsible. He took a moment to calm himself before looking back into Buffy's eyes. He had a feeling he already knew what had happened.
"Oh Buffy, baby. I'm so sorry," he soothed, raising a hand to brush away some of her tears, but more only fell.
"I-I was so scared," continued Buffy, almost not hearing Angel's words. She couldn't stop now. "I d-didn't know what to do. B-but, I-I don't know. I was h-happy. Part of m-me was happy. I h-had a helpless l-little life g-growing in me."
She stepped out of Angel's arms and he reluctantly let her go. Not knowing what to say, he just let her continue to talk.
"I didn't tell a-anyone. I-I knew what they'd t-think. How d-disappointed they'd b-be," her voice trembled as she spoke, her legs moving her unconsciously around the darkened garden. "I-I couldn't help but l-love it. It was m-my b-bay. I-I knew I had to tell P-Parker."
Angel's eyes narrowed. If that arrogant little fuck... "Did he hurt you?" he growled out.
Buffy jumped slightly at his tone. "N-no. N-not physically. I went to his dorm, t-to talk to h-him. I r-ran into him in the hallway. H-he tried i-ignore me. S-so I just told him...a-about the b-baby. H-he..."
"What did he do?" Angel asked, managing to make his voice sound calm when inside he was raging.
"He l-laughed at me. T-told m-me that I-I was j-just a whore. That i-it couldn't be h-his because he used p-protection. B-but I told him t-that I h-hadn't been with anybody e-else. He laughed at m-me again and s-said it was m-my problem n-not h-his. H-he just w-walked a-way," she finished at a whisper, sobs beginning to shudder throughout her body again.
"That stupid fucking bastard!" Angel nearly screamed, unable to contain his anger.
Buffy continued as if he hadn't spoken at all. She was too lost in her memories. "I-I couldn't believe h-he'd act like t-that. I w-was s-so upset. I j-just ran. H-he lived on the s-second floor s-so I h-had to g- go down the s-stairs."
Angels eyes widened as he realized what she was about to say. He took a few steps toward her.
"I-I don't know what e-exactly happened. I-I g-guess I t-tripped. I-I fell d-down the stairs," she choked out, her eyes closing at the memory.
"Oh God, B-Buffy," Angel choked out, his heart twisting in pain at what she must have gone through.
"I t-thought I was f-fine. N-nothing h-hurt too b-bad so I-I just got u-up and started t-to walk b-back to m-my d-dorm," she whispered, tears flowing steadily down her face. "B-but halfway t-there...the p-pain was s-so b- bad. S-somehow I-I made it t-to the campus m-medical c-center."
"You lost the baby," said Angel out loud.
Buffy looked up at him, the sadness emanating from her eyes almost crushed him. "Y-yes."
"Oh, Buffy," he whispered, feeling her pain within his own heart.
"I-it was m-my b-baby. My baby," she repeated, her arms moving to wrap around her abdomen. "My b-baby. A-and t-then it w-was g-gone. M-my b- baby was g-gone."
Salty tears now trailed down Angel's cheeks. Seeing Buffy like this was almost too much for him to handle. He had no idea what to do, no idea how to comfort her.
"I-I loved i-it. I l-loved my b-baby. A-and I-I l-lost it," she sobbed, holding her arms around her midsection tighter.
Panic mounted in Angel as her eyes suddenly rolled back into her head. He steps were a second too slow and he helplessly watched as she collapsed to the ground.
"Buffy!" he screamed in horror as he knelt down next to her motionless body.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC!...feedback happily welcomed :)
Warning: bad language, heart-wrenching misery, and Parker bashing.
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Part 17 - From Parker, With Love
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
The sudden fleeing of his girlfriend shocked Angel into stillness momentarily. What the hell had just happened? Could that bastard's cruel words have upset her that much? Finally snapping back into the present, Angel started to move to leave the restaurant. He stopped quickly, pulling out his wallet. He tossed a few bills onto the table before running out of the restaurant after Buffy.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Buffy was sprinting down the sidewalk away from the restaurant. She needed to be anywhere, somewhere. She needed air. Her foot caught on a crack in the pavement and she fell to the ground with a thud. The pain didn't even register into consciousness.
Images flooded her mind in a swirling mass of confusion. She grabbed her head, whispering the word 'stop' to herself. Her stomach twisted into knots as she wretched its contents onto the sidewalk in front of her.
Weakly, she pulled herself to her feet, ignoring the blood trailing down her leg from the fresh gash on her knee. Tears and confusion blurred her vision as she stood. She steadied herself by grasping onto a sign post on the edge of the sidewalk.
Angel's voice shouting her name not far away spurred her back into action. She couldn't see him, couldn't talk to him, couldn't look him in the eye knowing what she now knew. She shoved herself away from the sign post and once again took off in a sprint.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Angel rounded the corner of the building and stopped. Buffy was no where to be found. He had no idea where she went. He could be going in the complete opposite direction for all he knew.
Looking in all directions, Angel tried to figure out where Buffy would go. His mind also replayed what had happened in the restaurant. Every thing the Parker guy had said was repeated in his mind.
If what the guy had said was true then Buffy had obviously been with him. Was that what had upset her so much? Possibly. But to cause her to run out of the restaurant and away from him? That seemed a bit severe. There had to be something else.
Angel tried to remember the conversation he had with Willow right after returning to Sunnydale. The one where she had told him all that had happened to Buffy while he was gone. Was what had happened tonight related to something Willow had told him? He tried to remember, but the conversation had been so long ago and he had been so out of it from finding out that Buffy was in a coma that he couldn't think of anything.
All he knew was that something that guy had either said or done, or maybe both, had caused Buffy's actions. She had been relatively fine until that jerk showed up. If he ever saw that rat bastard again he wouldn't hold back on beating his scrawny ass.
Shaking his head, Angel forced the violent thoughts out of his mind. Right now he needed to find Buffy. And fast. She was in no condition to be by herself. He was amazed as it was that her remaining physical weakness had allowed her to run away as she had.
He stood there in the middle of the sidewalk trying to figure out where she would go. The realization dawned on him suddenly. There was one place she would always go when she needed to be alone, or when they wanted some quiet time together. As he took off running, Angel hoped he was right and that was where she was.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
She stared unfocused at the wild, untamed flowers twinning their way around the forsaken garden. She hadn't even realized where she was going until she arrived there. The there being the old, abandoned mansion on Crawford Street.
She'd discovered the place not long after moving to Sunnydale while out walking one day. Since then it had become a bit of a safe haven for her. Whenever she was stressed, or upset she'd go there, and then later it became her and Angel's secret spot. She'd even once told him that she planned on buying and restoring the place someday.
Her knees buckled as the images continued to assault her senses. Tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked leaving mascara darkened trails across her skin. But she could have cared less about her appearance at that moment.
Unable to stand any longer, Buffy collapsed to the ground. Her back rested against the empty fountain as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She absentmindedly swiped at the drying blood crusting around the closing gash on her leg before resting her head against her knees. Sobs shook her body as she rocked back and forth on the cold stone underneath her.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
That was how Angel found her almost fifteen minutes later when he arrived at the mansion. Relief coursed through him from the fact that he'd guessed right on where she would go. His eyes watered at the sight of her shaking body on the ground. He approached slowly, she obviously hadn't noticed his presence yet. Should he say anything? He didn't want to have her run off again.
He cautiously moved toward her, coming to a stop directly in front of her body. She gave no sign that she was aware he was there. Silently, he crouched at her feet. He wanted to take her into his arms, but didn't think it wise.
"Buffy?" he spoke as softly and gently as possible. When he received no response he placed a hand onto hers which were clasped around her legs.
Buffy's head shot up at the touch. Her eyes widened when she saw Angel kneeling in front of her. Quickly, she scrambled away from him and came to her feet. She backed away from him as he stood also.
"Buffy, baby, please...tell me what's wrong," he pleaded, heartbroken over the look in her eyes and her actions.
She continued to back away from him, obeying the urge to flee. Her eyes darted around the garden looking for the best way to escape.
"Buffy," Angel took a step closer. "Baby, whatever it is, you can tell me. You can always tell me anything."
Her movements stopped at his last words. Could she tell him? Could she really tell him? Would he hate her? Would he be disgusted? She looked into his eyes and saw the love shining in them. How could she tell him what she now knew?
Angel sensed that he was starting to get through to her. He took yet another step toward her. "Please, baby, talk to me."
She stared at him momentarily before closing her eyes. Her hands trembled as she tried to piece the images into a more cohesive memory. More tears streamed down her cheeks as events played out in her mind. Slowly, her eyes opened, pained radiated out of them as she once again looked to Angel.
"I remember," she spoke in a choked whisper.
"What do you remember, sweetie?" he asked as softly as possible, not wanting to frighten her. He was fearing whatever she was about to tell him. It obviously wasn't good judging by her condition.
"I-I...I...," she stopped speaking and tried to calm her raging emotions. "I don't know where to start."
"Just start at the beginning, take as long as you need. I'll be here for you," he reassured her.
Buffy paced for a moment, her memory still a bit fractured and confused. "It was sophomore year, n-not long after it s-started. I met h-h...him."
"Parker?" Angel prodded slightly.
"Yeah. I bumped into h-him in the dorms one day. He s-seemed so n-nice. H-he was and upper classmen, and I-I couldn't believe he n-noticed me," she paced a few more steps and wiped at tears in her eyes. "W-we started hanging out a-a lot."
Angel saw her eyes look to him as if she was afraid he would angry that she had gone out with someone else. He walked to her and took her hands into his, warming her clammy skin. "It's okay, baby. I'm not angry."
"We went o-out for a few weeks. T-then one night I went back to his dorm room with him...," she couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't want to say the words out loud.
Angel nodded his head in understanding, knowing it was hard for her to talk about and seeing the pain in her eyes.
"The n-next m-morning, he was acting a l-little weird, but I b-brushed it off," the tears fell harder from her eyes at the memory. "Then l-later when I tried to t-talk to him, he...he..."
Pulling her into his arms, he soothingly rubbed her back. "Shh, baby. It's okay."
"He...he said it was fun. That....that was all it was. Fun," she sobbed into Angel's chest. "I-I couldn't believe he'd d-do that."
Rage flared in Angel that someone could do that to any woman, let alone Buffy. Who the hell did this guy think he was?
"I w-was crushed. I-I didn't want to talk to a-anybody," she mumbled, shuttering as the images, fresh in her memory, replayed in her mind. "Then...then..."
Angel pulled away slightly and lifted her chin to look into her eyes. He had a sinking suspicion that he knew what was about to come. "Then what, baby?"
"T-then a f-few weeks later....I-I realized I-I w-was pregnant," the last word was barely audible as her tears fell harder.
His shoulders sagged at the brutal revelation that he had suspected but not really wanted to hear. And he had an overwhelming need to kill the son of a bitch who was responsible. He took a moment to calm himself before looking back into Buffy's eyes. He had a feeling he already knew what had happened.
"Oh Buffy, baby. I'm so sorry," he soothed, raising a hand to brush away some of her tears, but more only fell.
"I-I was so scared," continued Buffy, almost not hearing Angel's words. She couldn't stop now. "I d-didn't know what to do. B-but, I-I don't know. I was h-happy. Part of m-me was happy. I h-had a helpless l-little life g-growing in me."
She stepped out of Angel's arms and he reluctantly let her go. Not knowing what to say, he just let her continue to talk.
"I didn't tell a-anyone. I-I knew what they'd t-think. How d-disappointed they'd b-be," her voice trembled as she spoke, her legs moving her unconsciously around the darkened garden. "I-I couldn't help but l-love it. It was m-my b-bay. I-I knew I had to tell P-Parker."
Angel's eyes narrowed. If that arrogant little fuck... "Did he hurt you?" he growled out.
Buffy jumped slightly at his tone. "N-no. N-not physically. I went to his dorm, t-to talk to h-him. I r-ran into him in the hallway. H-he tried i-ignore me. S-so I just told him...a-about the b-baby. H-he..."
"What did he do?" Angel asked, managing to make his voice sound calm when inside he was raging.
"He l-laughed at me. T-told m-me that I-I was j-just a whore. That i-it couldn't be h-his because he used p-protection. B-but I told him t-that I h-hadn't been with anybody e-else. He laughed at m-me again and s-said it was m-my problem n-not h-his. H-he just w-walked a-way," she finished at a whisper, sobs beginning to shudder throughout her body again.
"That stupid fucking bastard!" Angel nearly screamed, unable to contain his anger.
Buffy continued as if he hadn't spoken at all. She was too lost in her memories. "I-I couldn't believe h-he'd act like t-that. I w-was s-so upset. I j-just ran. H-he lived on the s-second floor s-so I h-had to g- go down the s-stairs."
Angels eyes widened as he realized what she was about to say. He took a few steps toward her.
"I-I don't know what e-exactly happened. I-I g-guess I t-tripped. I-I fell d-down the stairs," she choked out, her eyes closing at the memory.
"Oh God, B-Buffy," Angel choked out, his heart twisting in pain at what she must have gone through.
"I t-thought I was f-fine. N-nothing h-hurt too b-bad so I-I just got u-up and started t-to walk b-back to m-my d-dorm," she whispered, tears flowing steadily down her face. "B-but halfway t-there...the p-pain was s-so b- bad. S-somehow I-I made it t-to the campus m-medical c-center."
"You lost the baby," said Angel out loud.
Buffy looked up at him, the sadness emanating from her eyes almost crushed him. "Y-yes."
"Oh, Buffy," he whispered, feeling her pain within his own heart.
"I-it was m-my b-baby. My baby," she repeated, her arms moving to wrap around her abdomen. "My b-baby. A-and t-then it w-was g-gone. M-my b- baby was g-gone."
Salty tears now trailed down Angel's cheeks. Seeing Buffy like this was almost too much for him to handle. He had no idea what to do, no idea how to comfort her.
"I-I loved i-it. I l-loved my b-baby. A-and I-I l-lost it," she sobbed, holding her arms around her midsection tighter.
Panic mounted in Angel as her eyes suddenly rolled back into her head. He steps were a second too slow and he helplessly watched as she collapsed to the ground.
"Buffy!" he screamed in horror as he knelt down next to her motionless body.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC!...feedback happily welcomed :)
