Author's Notes: Thank you to: ASH Watcher, Emma (ff.net), Wendy,
huffybuffy, Buffy9485, Rbritsmom73, LisaAnne1, Shahid, L.J., BA4eva, Tariq,
Christine, Spoiler Babe, Emma, KrazyKara, and TK for the wonderful feedback
on Part 22!!!
Warnings: some violence, slight language
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 23 - Anything For You
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Instinct had taken over the moment he heard the gunshots. Nothing mattered except for getting to his beloved. He didn't care that he wasn't trained to handle kidnappers or murderers, or that he didn't have a gun. They were just small details in his mind. He couldn't just stand there as that rat- faced bastard...
Angel couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't even think that she may be...be...no, he couldn't say it or think it. He wouldn't let it happen. Couldn't let it happen. And he firmly ignored the little voice that was telling him that it may already be too late.
Pushing all thoughts aside, Angel flew down a flight of stairs. He didn't know why he was going down them. He was just going where his heart was telling him to. Behind him, he could hear the footsteps of the others following, but they weren't important at the moment.
The stairs ended in what looked to be a basement. Angel's eyes wildly searched for a door or a room and found one a short distance to his right. Just as he took off toward the room the others arrived and he ignored their warning whispers to stop. He didn't give a damn about putting himself in danger. All he knew was that he needed to get to Buffy.
Reaching the doorway in only a few strides, Angel came to an abrupt stop as his shocked eyes took in the scene before him. There was his Buffy...alive...standing there with a dangling rope knotted around both wrists, and a gun in her shaking hands. A foot or two in front of her lay a dark haired man with blood seeping out his chest, and beyond him, the man he knew to be Riley was standing with raised arms in defense of the gun Buffy was pointing at him.
Angel almost wanted to weep in joy at seeing her alive, and apparently okay. His mind couldn't quite wrap itself around the fact that it looked like she had shot someone, that she had been the one responsible for the shots that he had heard only moments before. But none of that mattered. Buffy was okay and that was all he cared about.
"Buffy," he whispered, almost unable to make his mouth speak.
The sound of Angel's voice rocked Buffy to her core. She knew he'd find her. A small smile appeared on her face as she turned to look at him.
"Ang-," she started to speak.
At that moment, Riley took advantage of her distraction and dove toward her. He had no intention of going to jail. None whatsoever.
Angel watched in horror as he saw Riley leap toward Buffy. The pair crashed to the floor as Angel sprinted into the room to save his love. The police officers charged in after him, followed by Giles and also Cordelia and Xander who'd come running after them when they heard the gunshots.
In a blur of motion, Angel had torn the blonde haired man off Buffy, throwing him into the closest wall. One look at Buffy to make sure she was fine and he stalked toward the now half-conscious man. The onlookers grimaced as they heard the crunching of bone when Angel seized him by the wrist.
Punch after punch reined down on the defenseless man's face. Rage possessed Angel as he relentlessly battered the man. He would have continued if he had not faintly heard the pleading voice of his beloved.
"Angel, baby, please stop," Buffy spoke loudly as she kneeled next to where Angel was on top of Riley. "Angel, it's all right. Angel! Look at me!"
His fist stopped mid-motion and he turned to look at Buffy. Beyond her, he could see the police check on the other man and in a distance he could hear the sounds of an ambulance's siren, but the only thing he could focus on was Buffy.
Nearly falling off the unconscious form of Riley, Angel lunged at Buffy, pulling her to him. His bloodied hands tangled into her hair as he reveled in being able to hold her alive.
"Oh God, Buffy," he sobbed into her ear.
"Shh, I'm all right, Angel," she attempted to soothe him.
"I thought I'd lost you," his hoarse voice spoke to her. His hands couldn't stop reassuring him that she really was in his arms.
"I know, I thought I'd never see you again," Buffy cried against his chest, her own tears now falling.
For long minutes they just held each other. Joyful tears fell from all that watched the reunion, even from the most seasoned male police officers. None of them knew what happened in that room before they'd gotten there, but they were all happy to see Buffy alive.
Slowly, Angel pulled back to look at Buffy. Neither he nor Buffy noticed the commotion going on around them. His eyes roamed over her body and up to her face noticing the darkening bruise on her cheek almost immediately.
He smoothed his fingers over the enflamed skin gently. "You're hurt."
"Huh? Oh, it's nothing," she murmured as she nuzzled against his hand. She couldn't feel any pain, only the soothing touch of her soul mate.
"Giles," Angel spoke as she saw the older man standing next to them.
Buffy looked up at her step-father as he crouched down next to where they were seated on the ground. Her eyes glanced beyond him and saw all of the others present in the room. Up until that point, she hadn't even noticed them.
"I'm so glad you are all right," the British man choked out, his emotions getting the better of him.
"Oh, Giles," Buffy cried softly as she reached out and hugged him. "Where's Mom?"
"She back at the house. I already called her and told her you were okay," he explained as he fought to keep the tears out of his eyes.
"Hey Buffy," Xander smiled at his friend.
"Xand, Cordy," Buffy greeted the couple, pulling them into quick hugs. Her eyes, though, were on the stretcher that was taking Riley out of the room.
Stepping away from the group, she looked toward where Ford had fallen after she had shot him. Instead of seeing his body, all she could see was a crisp white sheet with red stains draped over his form. Almost unintentionally, she took a step toward him.
"Buffy...," Angel spoke softly.
"I-is he d-dead," she stuttered, not hearing Angel speak.
"Yes," one of the EMT's told her with a sympathetic look.
"Oh," she frowned in response.
"Buffy," Giles started, putting a calming hand on her shoulder. He couldn't imagine what she must be thinking knowing that she had killed someone. "I'm sure you did what you had to do."
"I-I know. It's just...," she trailed off, her eyes closing slightly before she turned back to her friends and family. "I know I should feel bad, but I don't. I can't."
Angel walked up to her and took her in his arms. "No one expects you feel a certain way, baby. He hurt you. You did what you had to."
"Miss Summers?" a man interrupted.
Buffy turned her head to look at the man speaking to her. "Yes?"
"My name is Thomas Porter. I'm Chief of Police, and also a friend of Rupert's," he first explained. "I know you must be exhausted from your ordeal, but I need to ask you some questions so we can find out what happened here."
Angel was about to object and tell the man to go to Hell, but Buffy spoke up before him.
"Okay. I understand. C-could we possibly go back to the house? I'd like to shower and get out of these clothes," she suggested, looking down at her grimy shirt and pants and chaffed wrists that were still bound by a rope. "And I don't suppose someone would want to untie me?"
They all laughed slightly at the small joke while Angel quickly freed her hands. A few minutes later most of the group made their way out of the room and up the stairs with Buffy and Angel trailing behind a small ways.
Gazing down, Buffy grinned and then looked back up at Angel. "You're wearing the pants."
"Anything for you, baby. Anything," he answered, placing a sweet kiss on her lips.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
An hour later, everyone was seated in the Giles' living room. There was hardly room for everyone to sit. Giles, Joyce, Willow and Oz were seated on the couch with Willow on Oz's lap. Cordy and Xander were on the loveseat, and Thomas and another officer were sitting on the two chairs next to the couch. Angel was standing next to the fireplace, his eyes hovering over Buffy as she nervously wandered the room.
Despite the fact that she'd showered and changed, Buffy was still feeling dirty. Maybe it was because of what had happened that night and the fact that another man's death had occurred at her hand, or maybe it was the return of memories she wished she hadn't remembered. Whichever it was didn't really matter, though. She still felt dirty.
Her eyes glanced around the room at all of the people she loved and to the two police officers. No one had spoken and she knew they were waiting for her, waiting until she was ready. She didn't know if she'd ever be ready to face what had happened not only earlier that night, but also the events that had triggered it.
She knew she had to tell, though. It was time to get it all out. She could only hope that unburdening herself would somehow make her feel better.
"I, uh, remember it all now. Everything," she blurted out, her hands feeling cold and clammy.
The others glanced at each other, knowledge lighting up in their eyes as the realized what she meant. And they also knew that whatever memories had returned weren't good and had something to do with her kidnapping.
"Why don't you start with tonight, Miss Summers," the Chief suggested as nicely as possible.
"O-okay," she agreed and then relayed what had happened from the moment Angel had gone to answer the phone.
She told them about waking up in what she now knew was the basement of an apartment building, finding Riley there, then Ford appearing. Her voice stumbled a bit as she repeated the things Ford had said to her and how she knew he intended to kill her. Reliving the night was almost as bad experiencing it the first time.
"So Mr...uh..." Thomas looked down at his notes. "Billy Fordham was in possession of the firearm?"
"Yes. He didn't have it the whole time. He didn't bring it out until later," Buffy answered, shivering at the memory of the gun pointed at her head.
"He...he was taunting me. I don't know why. And then I guess I pissed him off because h-he hit me." Her hand raised up to touch her still stinging cheek.
Angel's eyes narrowed at hearing the words. He wished the prick was still alive so he could teach him a lesson about hitting women.
Buffy met Angel's eyes and smiled as much as she could. She knew exactly what he was thinking
"Did he tell you why he and Mr. Finn kidnapped you?" Thomas questioned, jotting down something in his notebook.
"No, not really," Buffy shook her head. "He just kept saying that I was a problem and that I needed to be taken care of."
"A problem?" Thomas repeated with a frown.
"Yeah, I..I didn't know what he meant u-until later," she whispered and turned her eyes away from everyone. This was the part she didn't want to talk about, but she knew she had to.
"How so?" the Chief pushed. He hated doing it, but it was his job to do so.
"I...well...like I said, he was taunting me and then hit me...and then when I looked up at him as he stood there laughing at me it all came back." Buffy wiped at a tear that had started to fall.
The room remained silent as she paced across the room and peered out the window. Taking a deep breath she turned herself back to her audience.
"You see, Riley was Ford's half-brother." At the shocked gasps she paused. "I-I had remembered that earlier when I saw Riley and Ford standing next to each other. But at that point I thought I had only known him from seeing his picture once. I hadn't remembered the rest."
"The rest?" Thomas repeated in confusion.
Buffy shook her head 'yes' and continued. "Two weeks before my attack...the one that put me in the coma...Riley showed up at our apartment. He lived in Iowa with his mother and I'd never met him before. Apparently, he was in trouble and had come to Ford for help. He said he had gotten some girl pregnant and she was blackmailing him to keep it quiet. He didn't want anyone to know because he had a good reputation there or something."
"So he wanted Mr. Fordham to help with his situation?" Thomas clarified.
"Yes. He had been staying with us for a few days when the girl showed up. She'd found out where he was. Then a couple days after that they..." she shivered at the memory, wrapping her arms around her midsection. Angel moved to walk toward her, but Buffy held her hand up to stop him.
"They told me that they had set up a time to meet her somewhere...said they were going to offer her money. I went with them that night...we were going to go out after the meeting. When we got to the place, I waited in the car for them while they went to go talk to her." A few tears trailed down her cheeks. "I-I heard a s-scream so I got out of the car and went into the building. When...when I d-did...I-I saw Ford with a g-gun. The girl was b- begging him to let her go...a-and he j-just shot h-her."
Angel couldn't resist any longer and walked up to Buffy, pulling her into his arms. She collapsed against him, crying softly. His arms soothingly rubbed her back as he wished there was something more he could do for her.
"You don't have to keep going," he spoke softly to her.
"No. It's okay. I have to get this all out," she shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she apologized for her breakdown. The group smiled sympathetically at her.
"It's okay, Miss Summers. It's perfectly understandable," Thomas replied. "Do you wish to continue?"
"Yeah." She pulled away from Angel, but remained in his arms. "Umm, I...I guess I must have made a noise when he s-shot her because Ford and Riley turned to look at me. The look in Ford's eyes...I'd never seen it before...so cold and uncaring. I was more scared of him at that moment than any other time I'd been with him. So I just turned and ran."
"That was the night you came to my apartment," Willow stated in sudden understanding.
"Yeah. I-I didn't know where else to go," Buffy answered while gripping Angel's hands tighter.
"Why didn't you stay with me?" the red head asked.
"I knew he'd come after me and I didn't want to put you in danger," Buffy explained. "So I just hid from him, tried to stay away from anywhere he might find me...but it didn't work."
"He found you causing the assault that led to your coma," Thomas surmised, writing down the new information.
"Yeah. He thought I was going to go to the police about the girl," summed up Buffy, feeling a knot of tension loosen inside her at finally having revealed the events of months before.
"That is why he said you were a problem," said Giles, now understanding what had transpired.
"Okay, I think we can piece together most of the events. Let's assume that Mr. Finn was using his job as a way to spy on you," posed the Police Chief. "He could keep tabs on your situation. From what your family told me, you had just recently regained some of your memory. Mr. Finn likely relayed this to Mr. Fordham which led him to kidnap you with the intention of...taking care of his problem."
"I did happen to mention to Riley that I had remembered some things," Buffy stated in agreement.
"So that tells us the why. What happened that led to the shooting tonight?" Thomas asked, moving the discussion to recent events.
"I, umm...Ford was pointing the gun at me...I guess I pissed him off again because he kicked me-." Everyone in the room heard Angel growl loudly at the statement.
Buffy turned and met Angel's eyes. "I'm glad he did," she tried to calm him. "I'd been tied to a pole and the kick knocked the ropes loose. I managed to get my hands untied from the pole and then Ford was coming at me...I-I just kicked my legs out as hard as I could. It knocked him down and the gun fell out of his hands."
Her eyes closed as she fought off some nausea. "I saw the gun and just dove for it. I-I got the gun in my hands...a-and then Ford was stumbling toward me and I j-just fired."
"And that was when we arrived," Thomas finished.
"Yeah," Buffy answered, yawning slightly.
"Is there anything else you need to know tonight?" Angel interrupted. He could tell Buffy was exhausted for her ordeal.
"No, I think that's fine for now. If I have any further questions I will stop by tomorrow,"
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
After talking with her family and friends a little while longer, Buffy finally found herself tucked comfortably in her bed, her head resting on Angel's chest. She was completely exhausted but couldn't seem to make herself fall asleep. Everything that had happened to her the past few years was running through her head. It was so hard for her to remember what she had turned into.
In the span of a few years, she'd gone from being a happy teenager with a wonderful boyfriend to an abused young woman with a boyfriend who had committed murder and then put her in a coma. In between she'd been played by Parker, gotten pregnant, lost the baby and then pushed all of her friends away.
Her life had just spiraled out of control and she'd become someone she didn't even recognize. She couldn't help but wonder who it was she was supposed to be now. She couldn't be the innocent teenager anymore and she certainly didn't want to be the meek shell of a woman she was with Ford. So who was she now?
"Are you okay?" Angel sleepily mumbled when he noticed Buffy wasn't asleep.
"Yeah. There's just so much to think about," she answered him while running her hand across his chest.
"Want to talk about it?" he questioned in concern.
"No, not really," she shrugged. She was all talked out for the night. "Thank you for saving me."
"There's nothing to thank me for. You saved yourself," he answered, pushing a piece of hair off her forehead.
"I wanted to say it anyway," she mumbled before finally drifting off to sleep.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
A few days later, Angel sat in his apartment thinking about the past few days. Things had calmed down greatly since the night of the kidnapping. Riley had spent two days in the hospital before being transferred to jail. He was being charged with kidnapping, and attempted murder against Buffy, and also first degree murder in relation to the girl Ford had shot months earlier. They had all been relieved to find out that Riley would enter a guilty plea on all charges and that Buffy wouldn't have to face a trial.
Angel thought he should be happy, but instead he was worried. Buffy had become distant since the kidnapping. She wasn't pushing him or anyone else away, but she didn't seem all that there either. He couldn't help but worry about her after all that she'd been through.
There was also a part of him that thought she was second guessing her relationship with him. Now that all her memories were back maybe she didn't want him anymore. Maybe he wasn't what she wanted. He wished he could to talk to her, but he also didn't want to push her so he was just hoping that she would decide to open up to him
The ringing of his doorbell pulled Angel out of his brooding. Opening the door he was happy to find Buffy on the other side.
"Hey," he greeted her with a smile.
"Hey," she answered back before standing up on her tip toes to give him a kiss.
Some of Angel's worries eased at the action. If she didn't want to be with him she wouldn't kiss him the way she did. He could still tell, though, that there were things on her mind.
"Come in," he told her when the kiss broke.
"Thanks." Buffy walked into the apartment, tossing her purse and jacket onto one of the chairs. "How was work today?"
"Same as usual," Angel shrugged, taking a seat on the couch. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," sighed Buffy. She should have known that Angel would be able to read her. She knew she'd been acting a bit weird.
"Are you sure?" he pushed, hoping she would talk to him.
"I'm...okay...or about as okay as I can be," she tried to answer as honestly as possible. "But there is something I wanted to talk to you about."
"Okay," Angel spoke slowly, his worry increasing ten-fold.
Buffy paced around the room for a minute before turning to look at Angel. "I'm, umm, I'm going away for a while."
"What?!?" he gasped, his fears coming true. "You're leaving me?"
"No!" Buffy yelped, walking over to kneel in front of Angel. "No, Angel. I'm not leaving you."
"But you said..." he trailed off in confusion.
"I said I'm going away for a little while, but I'm not leaving you," she comforted her worried soul mate.
"I don't understand," he frowned at her.
"Angel...everything is so confusing. So much has happened to me...there are so many things I have to face. I have no idea who I am anymore. I need some time to accept the things that I've done and things that have happened," she explained gently to him, hoping that he would understand.
"Oh...I can see how it must all be hard for you," he conceded although he hated the idea of her leaving.
"I will come back, I promise," she assured him, taking his hands into hers. "I just need some time to heal and put the past behind me."
"Where will you go?" he asked, worried that she was going off on her own.
"There's a place in England. Wes, my shrink, used to work there. It's some kind of serenity resort on the coast somewhere. He said it's really quiet, and there's a friend of his named Lorne that works there and will be my therapist," she explained about the place she would be going to.
"When do you leave?" he asked softly, already missing her despite the fact that she was still there.
"Early tomorrow morning. I have to get home soon and pack." No sooner had the words left her mouth had Angel pulled her into his lap, embracing her tightly.
"I'm going to miss you," he held back tears as he spoke.
"I'll miss you too," she whispered gently. "But I promise I will be back."
"How long will you be gone?" he asked as he held her in his arms.
"I don't know, maybe a month or two." She looked up into his eyes. "I'll write to you everyday, and I'll call you."
"I hate that you're leaving, but I understand that you need to," he reassured her, brushing his hand across her still bruised cheek.
"Thank you," she smiled at him, placing her head onto her chest.
They sat holding each other in silence, just enjoying their last few minutes together for what would be a while. Buffy wondered if she was doing the right thing by leaving, but she knew it was what she had to do. It was the best way for her to learn to accept her past and to allow herself to move on to the future. A future that she would have with her Angel.
"I better go," she finally said after long minutes in Angel's arms.
Rising off the couch, Buffy walked to the door with Angel following behind her. As she reached the door, Angel pulled her into his arms again, kissing her passionately. He didn't want to let her go, but he knew he had to.
"I love you," he whispered against her lips.
"I love you, too," she repeated, her cheeks becoming wet with tears.
Slowly, she pulled away from him and out the door. Their hands remained grasped until she was too far away. Angel watched as she backed down the hallway, finally turning away from him when she reached the stairs.
His eyes remained focused on where his beloved had been long after she had left. She'd only been gone a few minutes and already his heart ached for her. He wanted to run after her. He wanted to beg her to stay, but he knew he couldn't. She needed this time to herself.
Walking back into his apartment, Angel stared unfocused at the interior. Dejectedly, he sat down on the couch and wondered how he was going to make it through the next few months without his beloved's presence in his life.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC
Warnings: some violence, slight language
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 23 - Anything For You
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Instinct had taken over the moment he heard the gunshots. Nothing mattered except for getting to his beloved. He didn't care that he wasn't trained to handle kidnappers or murderers, or that he didn't have a gun. They were just small details in his mind. He couldn't just stand there as that rat- faced bastard...
Angel couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't even think that she may be...be...no, he couldn't say it or think it. He wouldn't let it happen. Couldn't let it happen. And he firmly ignored the little voice that was telling him that it may already be too late.
Pushing all thoughts aside, Angel flew down a flight of stairs. He didn't know why he was going down them. He was just going where his heart was telling him to. Behind him, he could hear the footsteps of the others following, but they weren't important at the moment.
The stairs ended in what looked to be a basement. Angel's eyes wildly searched for a door or a room and found one a short distance to his right. Just as he took off toward the room the others arrived and he ignored their warning whispers to stop. He didn't give a damn about putting himself in danger. All he knew was that he needed to get to Buffy.
Reaching the doorway in only a few strides, Angel came to an abrupt stop as his shocked eyes took in the scene before him. There was his Buffy...alive...standing there with a dangling rope knotted around both wrists, and a gun in her shaking hands. A foot or two in front of her lay a dark haired man with blood seeping out his chest, and beyond him, the man he knew to be Riley was standing with raised arms in defense of the gun Buffy was pointing at him.
Angel almost wanted to weep in joy at seeing her alive, and apparently okay. His mind couldn't quite wrap itself around the fact that it looked like she had shot someone, that she had been the one responsible for the shots that he had heard only moments before. But none of that mattered. Buffy was okay and that was all he cared about.
"Buffy," he whispered, almost unable to make his mouth speak.
The sound of Angel's voice rocked Buffy to her core. She knew he'd find her. A small smile appeared on her face as she turned to look at him.
"Ang-," she started to speak.
At that moment, Riley took advantage of her distraction and dove toward her. He had no intention of going to jail. None whatsoever.
Angel watched in horror as he saw Riley leap toward Buffy. The pair crashed to the floor as Angel sprinted into the room to save his love. The police officers charged in after him, followed by Giles and also Cordelia and Xander who'd come running after them when they heard the gunshots.
In a blur of motion, Angel had torn the blonde haired man off Buffy, throwing him into the closest wall. One look at Buffy to make sure she was fine and he stalked toward the now half-conscious man. The onlookers grimaced as they heard the crunching of bone when Angel seized him by the wrist.
Punch after punch reined down on the defenseless man's face. Rage possessed Angel as he relentlessly battered the man. He would have continued if he had not faintly heard the pleading voice of his beloved.
"Angel, baby, please stop," Buffy spoke loudly as she kneeled next to where Angel was on top of Riley. "Angel, it's all right. Angel! Look at me!"
His fist stopped mid-motion and he turned to look at Buffy. Beyond her, he could see the police check on the other man and in a distance he could hear the sounds of an ambulance's siren, but the only thing he could focus on was Buffy.
Nearly falling off the unconscious form of Riley, Angel lunged at Buffy, pulling her to him. His bloodied hands tangled into her hair as he reveled in being able to hold her alive.
"Oh God, Buffy," he sobbed into her ear.
"Shh, I'm all right, Angel," she attempted to soothe him.
"I thought I'd lost you," his hoarse voice spoke to her. His hands couldn't stop reassuring him that she really was in his arms.
"I know, I thought I'd never see you again," Buffy cried against his chest, her own tears now falling.
For long minutes they just held each other. Joyful tears fell from all that watched the reunion, even from the most seasoned male police officers. None of them knew what happened in that room before they'd gotten there, but they were all happy to see Buffy alive.
Slowly, Angel pulled back to look at Buffy. Neither he nor Buffy noticed the commotion going on around them. His eyes roamed over her body and up to her face noticing the darkening bruise on her cheek almost immediately.
He smoothed his fingers over the enflamed skin gently. "You're hurt."
"Huh? Oh, it's nothing," she murmured as she nuzzled against his hand. She couldn't feel any pain, only the soothing touch of her soul mate.
"Giles," Angel spoke as she saw the older man standing next to them.
Buffy looked up at her step-father as he crouched down next to where they were seated on the ground. Her eyes glanced beyond him and saw all of the others present in the room. Up until that point, she hadn't even noticed them.
"I'm so glad you are all right," the British man choked out, his emotions getting the better of him.
"Oh, Giles," Buffy cried softly as she reached out and hugged him. "Where's Mom?"
"She back at the house. I already called her and told her you were okay," he explained as he fought to keep the tears out of his eyes.
"Hey Buffy," Xander smiled at his friend.
"Xand, Cordy," Buffy greeted the couple, pulling them into quick hugs. Her eyes, though, were on the stretcher that was taking Riley out of the room.
Stepping away from the group, she looked toward where Ford had fallen after she had shot him. Instead of seeing his body, all she could see was a crisp white sheet with red stains draped over his form. Almost unintentionally, she took a step toward him.
"Buffy...," Angel spoke softly.
"I-is he d-dead," she stuttered, not hearing Angel speak.
"Yes," one of the EMT's told her with a sympathetic look.
"Oh," she frowned in response.
"Buffy," Giles started, putting a calming hand on her shoulder. He couldn't imagine what she must be thinking knowing that she had killed someone. "I'm sure you did what you had to do."
"I-I know. It's just...," she trailed off, her eyes closing slightly before she turned back to her friends and family. "I know I should feel bad, but I don't. I can't."
Angel walked up to her and took her in his arms. "No one expects you feel a certain way, baby. He hurt you. You did what you had to."
"Miss Summers?" a man interrupted.
Buffy turned her head to look at the man speaking to her. "Yes?"
"My name is Thomas Porter. I'm Chief of Police, and also a friend of Rupert's," he first explained. "I know you must be exhausted from your ordeal, but I need to ask you some questions so we can find out what happened here."
Angel was about to object and tell the man to go to Hell, but Buffy spoke up before him.
"Okay. I understand. C-could we possibly go back to the house? I'd like to shower and get out of these clothes," she suggested, looking down at her grimy shirt and pants and chaffed wrists that were still bound by a rope. "And I don't suppose someone would want to untie me?"
They all laughed slightly at the small joke while Angel quickly freed her hands. A few minutes later most of the group made their way out of the room and up the stairs with Buffy and Angel trailing behind a small ways.
Gazing down, Buffy grinned and then looked back up at Angel. "You're wearing the pants."
"Anything for you, baby. Anything," he answered, placing a sweet kiss on her lips.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
An hour later, everyone was seated in the Giles' living room. There was hardly room for everyone to sit. Giles, Joyce, Willow and Oz were seated on the couch with Willow on Oz's lap. Cordy and Xander were on the loveseat, and Thomas and another officer were sitting on the two chairs next to the couch. Angel was standing next to the fireplace, his eyes hovering over Buffy as she nervously wandered the room.
Despite the fact that she'd showered and changed, Buffy was still feeling dirty. Maybe it was because of what had happened that night and the fact that another man's death had occurred at her hand, or maybe it was the return of memories she wished she hadn't remembered. Whichever it was didn't really matter, though. She still felt dirty.
Her eyes glanced around the room at all of the people she loved and to the two police officers. No one had spoken and she knew they were waiting for her, waiting until she was ready. She didn't know if she'd ever be ready to face what had happened not only earlier that night, but also the events that had triggered it.
She knew she had to tell, though. It was time to get it all out. She could only hope that unburdening herself would somehow make her feel better.
"I, uh, remember it all now. Everything," she blurted out, her hands feeling cold and clammy.
The others glanced at each other, knowledge lighting up in their eyes as the realized what she meant. And they also knew that whatever memories had returned weren't good and had something to do with her kidnapping.
"Why don't you start with tonight, Miss Summers," the Chief suggested as nicely as possible.
"O-okay," she agreed and then relayed what had happened from the moment Angel had gone to answer the phone.
She told them about waking up in what she now knew was the basement of an apartment building, finding Riley there, then Ford appearing. Her voice stumbled a bit as she repeated the things Ford had said to her and how she knew he intended to kill her. Reliving the night was almost as bad experiencing it the first time.
"So Mr...uh..." Thomas looked down at his notes. "Billy Fordham was in possession of the firearm?"
"Yes. He didn't have it the whole time. He didn't bring it out until later," Buffy answered, shivering at the memory of the gun pointed at her head.
"He...he was taunting me. I don't know why. And then I guess I pissed him off because h-he hit me." Her hand raised up to touch her still stinging cheek.
Angel's eyes narrowed at hearing the words. He wished the prick was still alive so he could teach him a lesson about hitting women.
Buffy met Angel's eyes and smiled as much as she could. She knew exactly what he was thinking
"Did he tell you why he and Mr. Finn kidnapped you?" Thomas questioned, jotting down something in his notebook.
"No, not really," Buffy shook her head. "He just kept saying that I was a problem and that I needed to be taken care of."
"A problem?" Thomas repeated with a frown.
"Yeah, I..I didn't know what he meant u-until later," she whispered and turned her eyes away from everyone. This was the part she didn't want to talk about, but she knew she had to.
"How so?" the Chief pushed. He hated doing it, but it was his job to do so.
"I...well...like I said, he was taunting me and then hit me...and then when I looked up at him as he stood there laughing at me it all came back." Buffy wiped at a tear that had started to fall.
The room remained silent as she paced across the room and peered out the window. Taking a deep breath she turned herself back to her audience.
"You see, Riley was Ford's half-brother." At the shocked gasps she paused. "I-I had remembered that earlier when I saw Riley and Ford standing next to each other. But at that point I thought I had only known him from seeing his picture once. I hadn't remembered the rest."
"The rest?" Thomas repeated in confusion.
Buffy shook her head 'yes' and continued. "Two weeks before my attack...the one that put me in the coma...Riley showed up at our apartment. He lived in Iowa with his mother and I'd never met him before. Apparently, he was in trouble and had come to Ford for help. He said he had gotten some girl pregnant and she was blackmailing him to keep it quiet. He didn't want anyone to know because he had a good reputation there or something."
"So he wanted Mr. Fordham to help with his situation?" Thomas clarified.
"Yes. He had been staying with us for a few days when the girl showed up. She'd found out where he was. Then a couple days after that they..." she shivered at the memory, wrapping her arms around her midsection. Angel moved to walk toward her, but Buffy held her hand up to stop him.
"They told me that they had set up a time to meet her somewhere...said they were going to offer her money. I went with them that night...we were going to go out after the meeting. When we got to the place, I waited in the car for them while they went to go talk to her." A few tears trailed down her cheeks. "I-I heard a s-scream so I got out of the car and went into the building. When...when I d-did...I-I saw Ford with a g-gun. The girl was b- begging him to let her go...a-and he j-just shot h-her."
Angel couldn't resist any longer and walked up to Buffy, pulling her into his arms. She collapsed against him, crying softly. His arms soothingly rubbed her back as he wished there was something more he could do for her.
"You don't have to keep going," he spoke softly to her.
"No. It's okay. I have to get this all out," she shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she apologized for her breakdown. The group smiled sympathetically at her.
"It's okay, Miss Summers. It's perfectly understandable," Thomas replied. "Do you wish to continue?"
"Yeah." She pulled away from Angel, but remained in his arms. "Umm, I...I guess I must have made a noise when he s-shot her because Ford and Riley turned to look at me. The look in Ford's eyes...I'd never seen it before...so cold and uncaring. I was more scared of him at that moment than any other time I'd been with him. So I just turned and ran."
"That was the night you came to my apartment," Willow stated in sudden understanding.
"Yeah. I-I didn't know where else to go," Buffy answered while gripping Angel's hands tighter.
"Why didn't you stay with me?" the red head asked.
"I knew he'd come after me and I didn't want to put you in danger," Buffy explained. "So I just hid from him, tried to stay away from anywhere he might find me...but it didn't work."
"He found you causing the assault that led to your coma," Thomas surmised, writing down the new information.
"Yeah. He thought I was going to go to the police about the girl," summed up Buffy, feeling a knot of tension loosen inside her at finally having revealed the events of months before.
"That is why he said you were a problem," said Giles, now understanding what had transpired.
"Okay, I think we can piece together most of the events. Let's assume that Mr. Finn was using his job as a way to spy on you," posed the Police Chief. "He could keep tabs on your situation. From what your family told me, you had just recently regained some of your memory. Mr. Finn likely relayed this to Mr. Fordham which led him to kidnap you with the intention of...taking care of his problem."
"I did happen to mention to Riley that I had remembered some things," Buffy stated in agreement.
"So that tells us the why. What happened that led to the shooting tonight?" Thomas asked, moving the discussion to recent events.
"I, umm...Ford was pointing the gun at me...I guess I pissed him off again because he kicked me-." Everyone in the room heard Angel growl loudly at the statement.
Buffy turned and met Angel's eyes. "I'm glad he did," she tried to calm him. "I'd been tied to a pole and the kick knocked the ropes loose. I managed to get my hands untied from the pole and then Ford was coming at me...I-I just kicked my legs out as hard as I could. It knocked him down and the gun fell out of his hands."
Her eyes closed as she fought off some nausea. "I saw the gun and just dove for it. I-I got the gun in my hands...a-and then Ford was stumbling toward me and I j-just fired."
"And that was when we arrived," Thomas finished.
"Yeah," Buffy answered, yawning slightly.
"Is there anything else you need to know tonight?" Angel interrupted. He could tell Buffy was exhausted for her ordeal.
"No, I think that's fine for now. If I have any further questions I will stop by tomorrow,"
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
After talking with her family and friends a little while longer, Buffy finally found herself tucked comfortably in her bed, her head resting on Angel's chest. She was completely exhausted but couldn't seem to make herself fall asleep. Everything that had happened to her the past few years was running through her head. It was so hard for her to remember what she had turned into.
In the span of a few years, she'd gone from being a happy teenager with a wonderful boyfriend to an abused young woman with a boyfriend who had committed murder and then put her in a coma. In between she'd been played by Parker, gotten pregnant, lost the baby and then pushed all of her friends away.
Her life had just spiraled out of control and she'd become someone she didn't even recognize. She couldn't help but wonder who it was she was supposed to be now. She couldn't be the innocent teenager anymore and she certainly didn't want to be the meek shell of a woman she was with Ford. So who was she now?
"Are you okay?" Angel sleepily mumbled when he noticed Buffy wasn't asleep.
"Yeah. There's just so much to think about," she answered him while running her hand across his chest.
"Want to talk about it?" he questioned in concern.
"No, not really," she shrugged. She was all talked out for the night. "Thank you for saving me."
"There's nothing to thank me for. You saved yourself," he answered, pushing a piece of hair off her forehead.
"I wanted to say it anyway," she mumbled before finally drifting off to sleep.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
A few days later, Angel sat in his apartment thinking about the past few days. Things had calmed down greatly since the night of the kidnapping. Riley had spent two days in the hospital before being transferred to jail. He was being charged with kidnapping, and attempted murder against Buffy, and also first degree murder in relation to the girl Ford had shot months earlier. They had all been relieved to find out that Riley would enter a guilty plea on all charges and that Buffy wouldn't have to face a trial.
Angel thought he should be happy, but instead he was worried. Buffy had become distant since the kidnapping. She wasn't pushing him or anyone else away, but she didn't seem all that there either. He couldn't help but worry about her after all that she'd been through.
There was also a part of him that thought she was second guessing her relationship with him. Now that all her memories were back maybe she didn't want him anymore. Maybe he wasn't what she wanted. He wished he could to talk to her, but he also didn't want to push her so he was just hoping that she would decide to open up to him
The ringing of his doorbell pulled Angel out of his brooding. Opening the door he was happy to find Buffy on the other side.
"Hey," he greeted her with a smile.
"Hey," she answered back before standing up on her tip toes to give him a kiss.
Some of Angel's worries eased at the action. If she didn't want to be with him she wouldn't kiss him the way she did. He could still tell, though, that there were things on her mind.
"Come in," he told her when the kiss broke.
"Thanks." Buffy walked into the apartment, tossing her purse and jacket onto one of the chairs. "How was work today?"
"Same as usual," Angel shrugged, taking a seat on the couch. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," sighed Buffy. She should have known that Angel would be able to read her. She knew she'd been acting a bit weird.
"Are you sure?" he pushed, hoping she would talk to him.
"I'm...okay...or about as okay as I can be," she tried to answer as honestly as possible. "But there is something I wanted to talk to you about."
"Okay," Angel spoke slowly, his worry increasing ten-fold.
Buffy paced around the room for a minute before turning to look at Angel. "I'm, umm, I'm going away for a while."
"What?!?" he gasped, his fears coming true. "You're leaving me?"
"No!" Buffy yelped, walking over to kneel in front of Angel. "No, Angel. I'm not leaving you."
"But you said..." he trailed off in confusion.
"I said I'm going away for a little while, but I'm not leaving you," she comforted her worried soul mate.
"I don't understand," he frowned at her.
"Angel...everything is so confusing. So much has happened to me...there are so many things I have to face. I have no idea who I am anymore. I need some time to accept the things that I've done and things that have happened," she explained gently to him, hoping that he would understand.
"Oh...I can see how it must all be hard for you," he conceded although he hated the idea of her leaving.
"I will come back, I promise," she assured him, taking his hands into hers. "I just need some time to heal and put the past behind me."
"Where will you go?" he asked, worried that she was going off on her own.
"There's a place in England. Wes, my shrink, used to work there. It's some kind of serenity resort on the coast somewhere. He said it's really quiet, and there's a friend of his named Lorne that works there and will be my therapist," she explained about the place she would be going to.
"When do you leave?" he asked softly, already missing her despite the fact that she was still there.
"Early tomorrow morning. I have to get home soon and pack." No sooner had the words left her mouth had Angel pulled her into his lap, embracing her tightly.
"I'm going to miss you," he held back tears as he spoke.
"I'll miss you too," she whispered gently. "But I promise I will be back."
"How long will you be gone?" he asked as he held her in his arms.
"I don't know, maybe a month or two." She looked up into his eyes. "I'll write to you everyday, and I'll call you."
"I hate that you're leaving, but I understand that you need to," he reassured her, brushing his hand across her still bruised cheek.
"Thank you," she smiled at him, placing her head onto her chest.
They sat holding each other in silence, just enjoying their last few minutes together for what would be a while. Buffy wondered if she was doing the right thing by leaving, but she knew it was what she had to do. It was the best way for her to learn to accept her past and to allow herself to move on to the future. A future that she would have with her Angel.
"I better go," she finally said after long minutes in Angel's arms.
Rising off the couch, Buffy walked to the door with Angel following behind her. As she reached the door, Angel pulled her into his arms again, kissing her passionately. He didn't want to let her go, but he knew he had to.
"I love you," he whispered against her lips.
"I love you, too," she repeated, her cheeks becoming wet with tears.
Slowly, she pulled away from him and out the door. Their hands remained grasped until she was too far away. Angel watched as she backed down the hallway, finally turning away from him when she reached the stairs.
His eyes remained focused on where his beloved had been long after she had left. She'd only been gone a few minutes and already his heart ached for her. He wanted to run after her. He wanted to beg her to stay, but he knew he couldn't. She needed this time to herself.
Walking back into his apartment, Angel stared unfocused at the interior. Dejectedly, he sat down on the couch and wondered how he was going to make it through the next few months without his beloved's presence in his life.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC
