AN: I want to thank everyone for all the awesome reviews!!! They've been
really great. I'm sorry to those of you who don't think I'm updating fast
enough, but I'm not doing it on purpose! I'm not done with Pretty Baby
yet, only two nights ago I added a whole new part to this chapter. I'm not
even close to truly finishing this story yet. And I also know that some
people are mad that there have only been a few Rory/Jess scenes so far, but
I'm not going to throw them together all the time when they haven't spoken
in three years. It just wouldn't be realistic, so I'm going about it
somewhat slowly. And I also wanted this story to be from different points
of view, not just Rory and Jess's. But I promise there will be a lot more
than there have been in future chapters and in this chapter there is an R/J
scene and I hope you like it!!!
Thanks! ~Kay~
i'll be the embrace
A loud crash came from the family room and Lane went running in.
She found a rumble occurring on the floor.
"What's going on here?"
Five perpetrators looked up innocently. "Nothing." They said in unison.
Lane rolled her eyes, "Yeah right." Her husband Mathew was sprawled out on the floor, he had both Thomas and Kimmy in a head lock while James was unsuccessfully trying to pull them out. Melanie was running around them crying and telling them to stop fighting. "I thought I told you to take the wrestling outside! We have company coming over too!"
Mathew smiled devilishly, "We're just having a bit of fun, why don't you join in honey? I could put you in a head lock too!" His green eyes twinkled, "And it's only Rory."
All of the children looked up, their faces surprised and excited.
"Aunt Rory's coming?!"
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Yay! Aunt Rorwy's coming!"
"I'm going to tell her all about my baseball-ouch!"
Mathew had grabbed James by the legs and pulled him to the ground, he had all three pinned.
"Hah! I win!"
"I don't think so!" Melanie jumped into the fray laughing and screaming.
Mathew made a loud grunting sound as she landed on his stomach, "Lane, help!" He cried breathlessly as the rest of them scrambled out of his grasp and tackled him also.
Lane merely raised her eyebrows, "You got your own self into this." And she walked out of the room.
"Come back, I . . ." But his voice was muffled out when Lane heard another crash. This time she didn't go running in.
Lane was making the final touches to the salad when she heard the doorbell ring.
"I've got it!" She heard Kimmy yell from the other room.
"Oh, no you don't!" Mathew cried and Lane heard another thump.
"Don't worry, I'll get it!" Lane said rolling her eyes.
More screams and fits of giggles came from the family room.
She opened the door to find Rory out side with a questionable look on her face, "What's going on in there?" She asked leaning in.
Lane rolled her eyes and stepped back, "Come on in. Mathew decided it would be a good time to have a nice wrestling match."
Rory laughed, "I was wondering where all those screams were coming from."
All of a sudden Melanie came running into the front hallway and threw herself around Rory's legs. "Hellooooo Aunt Rorwy!!!"
"Hey there, Mellie!" Rory picked her up and kissed her.
"I can show you how to do ballet today!" She exclaimed.
"Great!" Rory grinned and kissed her cheek again. She turned to Lane, "Where's the rest of the gang?"
That's when Mathew came into the front hall with Thomas on his back, and Kimmy and James being pulled along on the floor holding his legs.
"Hey Aunt Rory!" All three of them said in unison.
"Hey Rory, how's it going?" Mathew asked grinning.
"Not so bad." They kissed cheeks. "Looks like you've got quite a load there."
Mathew shook his head, "The little buggers won't leave me alone."
"Hey!" Came three indignant cries.
Lane put her hands on her hips, "Yeah right Mathew. I know who started this." And she swept by him.
"Oh, come on honey. Lighten up." He said following her into the kitchen still dragging all three kids.
"Look at them!" Lane said pointed to James and Kimmy who were being dragged along the kitchen floor. "They're getting filthy!" But she was suppressing a smile.
Mathew looked down at them and they smiled innocently back up at him, he merely shrugged. "Well, maybe the floor should be a little cleaner." His eyes gleamed roguishly.
Lane's eyes flamed, "I was at the hospital at three this morning and then I came home and I have been cleaning and watching those "little buggers" ever since. You come home and destroy the whole family room . . ."
But Lane was cut off when Mathew kissed her, and he didn't stop either when the kids began whining.
Kimmy and James quickly dislodged themselves and Thomas scurried off his back like they had cooties.
"Oh no! They're doing it again!"
"Make it stop." Kimmy shut her eyes and clamped her hands around her ears. She began dancing around the kitchen in a wild sort of way.
James ran to Rory, "Please! Tell them to stop."
Melanie hid her face in Rory's shoulder.
Rory grinned, "Stop eating each other's faces or get a room." She said.
When they finally pulled apart Lane was blushing like a school girl but Mathew was grinning.
"It's time to eat, go wash your hands." Lane told the kids, hastily changing the subject.
Melanie scrambled out of Rory's arms and hurried to the bathroom with the rest of them, each still had a look of disgust on their faces.
"Maybe we should wash out eyes out too." Came Thomas's voice from the bathroom.
Rory flopped into a kitchen chair and watched as Lane and Mathew set the food out on the table. She laughed as Mathew egged her on. They were the perfect couple, Lane's house was Rory's favorite place in the world. Everything around her was filled with love and happiness.
She smiled as thought of the day Lane met Mathew in college. A baseball prodigy that had asked her out to dinner. He was totally opposite of the Korean standards. He had brown hair streaked blonde, he only shaved when he felt the need to which left him with a scruffy look and his eyes were as green as Rory's were blue.
A month after their first date they were married, and their first child, Thomas, came exactly nine months later. And to everyone's great surprise (mostly Lane's), Mrs. Kim absolutely loved Mathew. Even though he wasn't Korean or even a doctor, in fact he owned a highly qualified restaurant where he acted as the had chef. He had a chance at a professional baseball career, but he decided to be a family man and coach his son's baseball team instead.
"I don't know why you don't make the dinners, Mister Head Chef." Lane's voice brought Rory back to the real world.
"Because I like your food better, it's homey."
"What's homey supposed to mean?"
"I don't know, it's like apple pies."
"Apple pies?"
"Yeah, don't apple pies make you think of Thanksgivings at home with the whole family gathered round eating and just being your family?"
"I'm Korean, remember?"
"Oh, yeah."
That's when four scrambling figures dashed into the room and took their seats.
"Food!" Yelled James and stuck his fork into a breast of chicken.
"James Patrick Cummings! Not before grace!" Lane scolded. Some of the Korean traditions were still kept in this household, one's they had to work on when her mother visited.
After grace everyone dug in to Lane's "homey" dinner. An easy lull of conversation drifted through the room with laughter and smiles galore.
Hours later Lane and Rory sat in lawn chairs in the backyard, with a bottle of wine; watching the kids and Mathew catch fire flies. Melanie had long since fallen asleep in Lane's lap and was now gently snoring.
"So apparently the woman had lifted the car off of her own child." Lane stated in amazement.
They were talking of her part time job at the ER as a nurse which took place four days a week.
"Wow." Rory said in obvious astonishment, "I heard that you get this adrenaline rush. Have you ever gotten one?"
Lane had a thoughtful expression on her face, "I think I might have when Kimmy broke her arm and I had to run all the way to the Johnson's, I don't think I've ever ran that fast in my whole life. If that even counts."
Secretly, Rory wished that she could have adrenaline rushes for children of her own but didn't voice this to Lane. She wouldn't have time to anyway because at that moment the phone rang in the kitchen.
Lane struggled to get up with Melanie still in her arms, but Rory stopped her.
"Don't worry, I'll get it." She bounded up the stairs of the deck and flew into the kitchen as the phone rang one last time.
"Hello?" She said in a breathless voice.
There was silence from the other end.
"HELLO?" She asked again, louder this time.
"Rory?" The speaker said in obvious surprise. This time it was Rory who didn't answer.
"Rory?" Jess called through the phone.
"Sorry, yeah it's me." She said shakily. Why was he calling now?
"What are you doing there?" Jess was still in shock that she answered the phone and didn't consider his words.
"Well, I do come here a lot considering Lane's been my best friend since second grade and all."
"Oh, right, sorry."
There was silence.
Say something Rory! "Um, I'm coming down this weekend to pick up the papers."
"Yeah, Lane told me."
"Oh." Rory constantly forgot that Jess was still apart of the Cummings' family even though she was not part of his.
"I was calling to see how James' baseball went today, I couldn't make it."
"Oh, well they won." Rory said again and began making her way outside.
"I read one of your columns in that magazine, it was good."
Rory could tell that he was dying to go over every detail of it but held himself back. "Thanks, which one was it?"
Rory reached Lane and the lawn chairs. Lane looked up and asked, "Who is it?"
"It was 'Growing Up With Teenage Hormones'."
Rory was glad that they were on the phone so he couldn't see her flaming red face. She had definitely mentioned him in that article. Maybe not by name, but he would definitely know. "That was a fun one to write."
"Who is it?!" Lane asked again.
Rory mouthed Jess and Lane's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. She beckoned Rory to give her the phone.
"I'm sure it was."
Rory thought she heard Jess chuckle through the phone. She had missed his laugh, she didn't realize it until now.
"I especially liked the part," He was saying now, "about sneaking through windows and hiding behind trees."
Rory grinned, she had constantly sneaked out to see him in high school; and one time when they weren't supposed to be out Lorelai had passed by. They had hid behind a tree.
"I couldn't help but add that." She said. She realized now that practically the whole article had been about him. She had liked writing that article.
"I also noticed that you made a list of your favorite high school books." He paused. "'Oliver Twist' was at the top."
"Where else would it be?" Rory asked as she sat down in her chair. She ignored Lane's gawking stare.
"I never did get that back from you."
"I gave that back!"
"No you didn't."
"You must have misplaced it then."
"I don't misplace any of my books, especially that one."
Which was true.
"You'll just have to look harder then." But Rory knew he wouldn't find it because it was on her closet shelf.
"Did Lane ever read it?"
"No, she didn't." Rory looked at Lane then to see that she was still staring at her in astonishment. "Speaking of Lane, she wants to talk to you."
"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." He sounded almost disappointed.
"Yeah, tomorrow." And Rory handed the phone to Lane.
It took her a moment before Lane finally said "Jess." into the phone.
Rory didn't listen to their conversation, but stared up into the stars lost in her thoughts.
She and Jess hadn't had a normal conversation since . . . well, since about a month before their separation. It had felt good to talk with him like that, really good.
She couldn't talk to anyone else in the world like she could talk to Jess. Not Lane, not Lorelai, not Ryan, not anyone. She felt like she could tell him anything and he wouldn't laugh or raise his eyebrows. She missed their conversations more then she missed anything else. If she told him about something that was bothering her it would immediately cheer her up; just talking to him made her feel worlds better.
Rory knew that she would never have that again. Thinking of this caused an emptiness to consume her and swallow her whole.
* * *
Later that night Rory and Lane sat out in their lawn chairs by themselves. Mathew had gone to put the kids to bed sensing that they wanted to be alone.
"So what did you talk about?" Lane asked curiously as soon as everyone had gone.
"My column, a book." Rory shrugged.
"What book?"
"The one you never read." Rory took a long gulp of her wine. The glass was empty again.
Lane filled it for her, "There's many of those."
"'Oliver Twist'"
"Ahh, the one still on your closet shelf."
"Yep."
"I think that's the first real conversation you've had in years." Lane said.
"Yeah, and you know what?"
"What?"
"It felt good." Rory gazed at the stars, "Real good."
"Well, why wouldn't it? You love the man for God's sakes."
"Loved. Past tense please."
"Right."
Rory took another long satisfying, sip of her wine. "Why aren't you sharing in the fun?"
Lane shrugged, "Not thirsty."
"Oh, come one Lane. I filled your glass ages ago and you haven't yet taken a sip. You never pass up a nice glass of wine unless you're . . ." Rory sat straight up. "LANE!"
"What?" She looked up, startled.
"You're pregnant!"
"No I'm not!"
"You so are!"
"What gave you that idea?"
Rory rolled her eyes, "You haven't drunk any wine weirdo. And I CAN'T believe you waited this long to tell me. Wait you didn't even tell me, I had to figure it out by myself!" Rory settled herself back in her chair and crossed her arms. "I'm mad at you."
Lane laughed, "You sound like you're in second grade."
"I have reason to."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was just waiting for the right time." Lane turned to her. "Forgive me?"
"Of course!" Rory laughed and threw her arms around her best friend, "I'm so happy for you! For the fifth time!"
Lane laughed with her, both drunk with happiness (literally for Rory). "This is definitely the last one, for awhile anyway."
"How far along are you?" Rory asked excitedly.
"One month, I only found out five days ago and wanted to tell you in person."
When they pulled away Rory asked, "Who else knows?"
"Well, Mathew was the first obviously. Mama knows and . . . you." Lane said.
"Oh, I feel so special to be the third, although I was the first for Thomas." Rory said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, that's because you were there when I took the test." Lane said smiling at the memory.
"And I was quite upset to be the TENTH for Melanie, my own god- daughter." Rory said with her eyebrows raised.
"That wasn't my fault!" Lane said indignantly. "You and Jess were living in the city. We have gone over this way too many times. " "When are you going to tell the kids?" Rory asked.
"When they're ready."
"Will they ever be ready?"
"No, so we'll probably tell them in the next month or so." Lane sighed, "But they'll probably find out sooner when someone slips and you know who that'll be."
"Mathew."
"Yep. He can never keep a secret especially if it's a good one."
"You two talking about yours truly again?" Mathew had walk up behind them.
"Who else?" Lane asked looking up at him. "You're always the main topic of every one's conversations."
"What can say? I'm just so popular." Mathew sat down on the ground between them. "It's hard to be me."
Lane made a grunting sound.
"You okay dharlin?" Mathew asked patting Lane's hand with a devilish grin on his face.
The three of them stayed outside talking for hours while four kids upstairs were sleeping peacefully in their beds.
* * *
Later that night Lane lay quietly in her bed. It was two in the morning, she simply could not fall asleep. Maybe she had short term insomnia. Sighing, she rolled over in bed to find Matthew facing her, his mouth wide open and his hair mussed. Scorning him for falling asleep so easily every night, Lane pulled herself out of bed and padded out of the room and down the stairs.
Upon reaching the kitchen, Lane placed a pan on the oven and filled it with milk. Hopefully some nice, hot chocolate would put her right to sleep.
When her hot chocolate was completed she made her way into the living and took out some old photo albums that she hadn't looked at in ages. She flipped through a tired, sagging blue flower printed album that was frayed around the edges. She grinned as she went through it, watching her entire past life turn by.
Here she was pregnant with Thomas. Her baby shower. Thomas as a new born. His first few weeks of life. It was definitely true what they say about parents taking too many pictures of their first child. Here was Thomas's baptism. Thomas's first Christmas. And then here she was again pregnant with Kimmy.
Lane continued to flip through the photo album until she cam across one that made her stop abruptly. She squinted at it and smiled finally, it was of Jess and Rory at Thomas's first birthday party. They had only been married for a year then and were looking happier than ever. Rory had frosting on her nose and was sticking out her tongue at the camera; Jess had a plate of cake in his hands and was kissing Rory on the cheek.
Lane shook her head and sighed, they had been so happy. These people in the picture had no idea that in four years they would barely be able to speak to each other much less be in one another's presence. They had no idea that four years later Rory would have a break down at work that would change everything.
Lane bit her lip and thought of another memory much less happy then Thomas's first birthday party.
*Flashback*
Rory sat across from Lane at the kitchen table slowly drinking her steaming cup of coffee. Their were bags under her eyes and her face was so pale compared to the deep rose colored wall behind her. Her hair was greasy and unkempt, her eyes lifeless.
Rory closed her eyes and breathed in the aroma of coffee, "Mmm, this is wonderful. They wouldn't let me drink any of this."
Lane smiled ever so faintly, "Feel good to be home?"
"It feels okay here." Rory said looking down at the table.
Biting her lip Lane ignored Rory's last comment, "You're not going back to work are you?"
Rory shook her head so that her hair moved slightly in its greasy state. "I'm going to look for a new job where I can actually write. I never liked my other one anyway, not that they would take be back anyway. Nobody wants a person that has a nervous break down followed by a seizure." Rory frowned and then took another satisfying gulp of her coffee.
Lane clenched and unclenched her hands, "Rory, you need to see someone."
She furrowed her eyebrows, "Lane I'm fine. It was just one breakdown."
"It was not JUST a breakdown Rory! You were hospitalized for three days!" Lane shook her head angrily, "You NEED help."
Rory set down her cup of coffee and stared at Lane calmly, "You know I can't do that."
"Yes Rory, you can or it's just going to get worse and worse! Don't you understand that?"
There was a loud ticking noise in the background as Rory rubbed her temples. "You don't know how it feels Lane. You have no idea."
"I know that Rory." Lane said. "There are groups you can go to; psychiatrists! I don't know what to do!"
Rory forced a smile, "You're enough for me."
Lane sighed, "No I'm not. I can't lose you like this okay Rory? And neither can Jess. It's not right." She looked up sharply when Lane said Jess's name. "He keeps asking me all these questions. I can't take it, he looks at me like I'm a freak or something."
"He's worried about you!" Lane cried desperately. "I spoke with him Rory! God, he's beside himself with anguish. He doesn't know what's wrong with you and he loves you so much!"
In a small voice Rory said, "I can't tell him Lane . . . I just can't."
"Then you need to tell someone else."
"Everyone would think that I am the worst person in the world. He would hate me."
"It's NOT your fault! There's sick people out-"
But Rory cut her off, "I'm not going to Lane! Okay?! I won't do it." Rory slammed her coffee cup on the table so that brown liquid sloshed down the sides; it looked as though she was about to storm out of the room when she said now calm, "I think I'm going to leave him."
Lane stared at the coffee swimming on the wood surface of the table and sliding through the cracks. She was losing her best friend and she couldn't do a damn thing about it.
*Present*
Lane slammed the photo album shut and finished the last of her hot chocolate. Those had been some of the scariest months of her life. Rory calling from a pay phone in the inner city asking Lane to pick her up, Rory having a nervous breakdown slash seizure at her work three weeks later, and then there had been seriously a time when Lane thought Rory was suicidal.
But it had all settled down after Rory separated from Jess. Lane had truly thought then that it would be the end of Rory from then on. But it had been the exact opposite, Rory seemed to have found new meaning for life after the separation.
Jess on the other had had lost all meaning for life.
Lane settled back on the couch pulling an afghan tightly around her. Their life was like a soap opera or something, a very terrifying soap opera.
Within five minutes Lane fell asleep. But her dreams were unsettling, and her sleep restless.
Thanks! ~Kay~
i'll be the embrace
A loud crash came from the family room and Lane went running in.
She found a rumble occurring on the floor.
"What's going on here?"
Five perpetrators looked up innocently. "Nothing." They said in unison.
Lane rolled her eyes, "Yeah right." Her husband Mathew was sprawled out on the floor, he had both Thomas and Kimmy in a head lock while James was unsuccessfully trying to pull them out. Melanie was running around them crying and telling them to stop fighting. "I thought I told you to take the wrestling outside! We have company coming over too!"
Mathew smiled devilishly, "We're just having a bit of fun, why don't you join in honey? I could put you in a head lock too!" His green eyes twinkled, "And it's only Rory."
All of the children looked up, their faces surprised and excited.
"Aunt Rory's coming?!"
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Yay! Aunt Rorwy's coming!"
"I'm going to tell her all about my baseball-ouch!"
Mathew had grabbed James by the legs and pulled him to the ground, he had all three pinned.
"Hah! I win!"
"I don't think so!" Melanie jumped into the fray laughing and screaming.
Mathew made a loud grunting sound as she landed on his stomach, "Lane, help!" He cried breathlessly as the rest of them scrambled out of his grasp and tackled him also.
Lane merely raised her eyebrows, "You got your own self into this." And she walked out of the room.
"Come back, I . . ." But his voice was muffled out when Lane heard another crash. This time she didn't go running in.
Lane was making the final touches to the salad when she heard the doorbell ring.
"I've got it!" She heard Kimmy yell from the other room.
"Oh, no you don't!" Mathew cried and Lane heard another thump.
"Don't worry, I'll get it!" Lane said rolling her eyes.
More screams and fits of giggles came from the family room.
She opened the door to find Rory out side with a questionable look on her face, "What's going on in there?" She asked leaning in.
Lane rolled her eyes and stepped back, "Come on in. Mathew decided it would be a good time to have a nice wrestling match."
Rory laughed, "I was wondering where all those screams were coming from."
All of a sudden Melanie came running into the front hallway and threw herself around Rory's legs. "Hellooooo Aunt Rorwy!!!"
"Hey there, Mellie!" Rory picked her up and kissed her.
"I can show you how to do ballet today!" She exclaimed.
"Great!" Rory grinned and kissed her cheek again. She turned to Lane, "Where's the rest of the gang?"
That's when Mathew came into the front hall with Thomas on his back, and Kimmy and James being pulled along on the floor holding his legs.
"Hey Aunt Rory!" All three of them said in unison.
"Hey Rory, how's it going?" Mathew asked grinning.
"Not so bad." They kissed cheeks. "Looks like you've got quite a load there."
Mathew shook his head, "The little buggers won't leave me alone."
"Hey!" Came three indignant cries.
Lane put her hands on her hips, "Yeah right Mathew. I know who started this." And she swept by him.
"Oh, come on honey. Lighten up." He said following her into the kitchen still dragging all three kids.
"Look at them!" Lane said pointed to James and Kimmy who were being dragged along the kitchen floor. "They're getting filthy!" But she was suppressing a smile.
Mathew looked down at them and they smiled innocently back up at him, he merely shrugged. "Well, maybe the floor should be a little cleaner." His eyes gleamed roguishly.
Lane's eyes flamed, "I was at the hospital at three this morning and then I came home and I have been cleaning and watching those "little buggers" ever since. You come home and destroy the whole family room . . ."
But Lane was cut off when Mathew kissed her, and he didn't stop either when the kids began whining.
Kimmy and James quickly dislodged themselves and Thomas scurried off his back like they had cooties.
"Oh no! They're doing it again!"
"Make it stop." Kimmy shut her eyes and clamped her hands around her ears. She began dancing around the kitchen in a wild sort of way.
James ran to Rory, "Please! Tell them to stop."
Melanie hid her face in Rory's shoulder.
Rory grinned, "Stop eating each other's faces or get a room." She said.
When they finally pulled apart Lane was blushing like a school girl but Mathew was grinning.
"It's time to eat, go wash your hands." Lane told the kids, hastily changing the subject.
Melanie scrambled out of Rory's arms and hurried to the bathroom with the rest of them, each still had a look of disgust on their faces.
"Maybe we should wash out eyes out too." Came Thomas's voice from the bathroom.
Rory flopped into a kitchen chair and watched as Lane and Mathew set the food out on the table. She laughed as Mathew egged her on. They were the perfect couple, Lane's house was Rory's favorite place in the world. Everything around her was filled with love and happiness.
She smiled as thought of the day Lane met Mathew in college. A baseball prodigy that had asked her out to dinner. He was totally opposite of the Korean standards. He had brown hair streaked blonde, he only shaved when he felt the need to which left him with a scruffy look and his eyes were as green as Rory's were blue.
A month after their first date they were married, and their first child, Thomas, came exactly nine months later. And to everyone's great surprise (mostly Lane's), Mrs. Kim absolutely loved Mathew. Even though he wasn't Korean or even a doctor, in fact he owned a highly qualified restaurant where he acted as the had chef. He had a chance at a professional baseball career, but he decided to be a family man and coach his son's baseball team instead.
"I don't know why you don't make the dinners, Mister Head Chef." Lane's voice brought Rory back to the real world.
"Because I like your food better, it's homey."
"What's homey supposed to mean?"
"I don't know, it's like apple pies."
"Apple pies?"
"Yeah, don't apple pies make you think of Thanksgivings at home with the whole family gathered round eating and just being your family?"
"I'm Korean, remember?"
"Oh, yeah."
That's when four scrambling figures dashed into the room and took their seats.
"Food!" Yelled James and stuck his fork into a breast of chicken.
"James Patrick Cummings! Not before grace!" Lane scolded. Some of the Korean traditions were still kept in this household, one's they had to work on when her mother visited.
After grace everyone dug in to Lane's "homey" dinner. An easy lull of conversation drifted through the room with laughter and smiles galore.
Hours later Lane and Rory sat in lawn chairs in the backyard, with a bottle of wine; watching the kids and Mathew catch fire flies. Melanie had long since fallen asleep in Lane's lap and was now gently snoring.
"So apparently the woman had lifted the car off of her own child." Lane stated in amazement.
They were talking of her part time job at the ER as a nurse which took place four days a week.
"Wow." Rory said in obvious astonishment, "I heard that you get this adrenaline rush. Have you ever gotten one?"
Lane had a thoughtful expression on her face, "I think I might have when Kimmy broke her arm and I had to run all the way to the Johnson's, I don't think I've ever ran that fast in my whole life. If that even counts."
Secretly, Rory wished that she could have adrenaline rushes for children of her own but didn't voice this to Lane. She wouldn't have time to anyway because at that moment the phone rang in the kitchen.
Lane struggled to get up with Melanie still in her arms, but Rory stopped her.
"Don't worry, I'll get it." She bounded up the stairs of the deck and flew into the kitchen as the phone rang one last time.
"Hello?" She said in a breathless voice.
There was silence from the other end.
"HELLO?" She asked again, louder this time.
"Rory?" The speaker said in obvious surprise. This time it was Rory who didn't answer.
"Rory?" Jess called through the phone.
"Sorry, yeah it's me." She said shakily. Why was he calling now?
"What are you doing there?" Jess was still in shock that she answered the phone and didn't consider his words.
"Well, I do come here a lot considering Lane's been my best friend since second grade and all."
"Oh, right, sorry."
There was silence.
Say something Rory! "Um, I'm coming down this weekend to pick up the papers."
"Yeah, Lane told me."
"Oh." Rory constantly forgot that Jess was still apart of the Cummings' family even though she was not part of his.
"I was calling to see how James' baseball went today, I couldn't make it."
"Oh, well they won." Rory said again and began making her way outside.
"I read one of your columns in that magazine, it was good."
Rory could tell that he was dying to go over every detail of it but held himself back. "Thanks, which one was it?"
Rory reached Lane and the lawn chairs. Lane looked up and asked, "Who is it?"
"It was 'Growing Up With Teenage Hormones'."
Rory was glad that they were on the phone so he couldn't see her flaming red face. She had definitely mentioned him in that article. Maybe not by name, but he would definitely know. "That was a fun one to write."
"Who is it?!" Lane asked again.
Rory mouthed Jess and Lane's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. She beckoned Rory to give her the phone.
"I'm sure it was."
Rory thought she heard Jess chuckle through the phone. She had missed his laugh, she didn't realize it until now.
"I especially liked the part," He was saying now, "about sneaking through windows and hiding behind trees."
Rory grinned, she had constantly sneaked out to see him in high school; and one time when they weren't supposed to be out Lorelai had passed by. They had hid behind a tree.
"I couldn't help but add that." She said. She realized now that practically the whole article had been about him. She had liked writing that article.
"I also noticed that you made a list of your favorite high school books." He paused. "'Oliver Twist' was at the top."
"Where else would it be?" Rory asked as she sat down in her chair. She ignored Lane's gawking stare.
"I never did get that back from you."
"I gave that back!"
"No you didn't."
"You must have misplaced it then."
"I don't misplace any of my books, especially that one."
Which was true.
"You'll just have to look harder then." But Rory knew he wouldn't find it because it was on her closet shelf.
"Did Lane ever read it?"
"No, she didn't." Rory looked at Lane then to see that she was still staring at her in astonishment. "Speaking of Lane, she wants to talk to you."
"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." He sounded almost disappointed.
"Yeah, tomorrow." And Rory handed the phone to Lane.
It took her a moment before Lane finally said "Jess." into the phone.
Rory didn't listen to their conversation, but stared up into the stars lost in her thoughts.
She and Jess hadn't had a normal conversation since . . . well, since about a month before their separation. It had felt good to talk with him like that, really good.
She couldn't talk to anyone else in the world like she could talk to Jess. Not Lane, not Lorelai, not Ryan, not anyone. She felt like she could tell him anything and he wouldn't laugh or raise his eyebrows. She missed their conversations more then she missed anything else. If she told him about something that was bothering her it would immediately cheer her up; just talking to him made her feel worlds better.
Rory knew that she would never have that again. Thinking of this caused an emptiness to consume her and swallow her whole.
* * *
Later that night Rory and Lane sat out in their lawn chairs by themselves. Mathew had gone to put the kids to bed sensing that they wanted to be alone.
"So what did you talk about?" Lane asked curiously as soon as everyone had gone.
"My column, a book." Rory shrugged.
"What book?"
"The one you never read." Rory took a long gulp of her wine. The glass was empty again.
Lane filled it for her, "There's many of those."
"'Oliver Twist'"
"Ahh, the one still on your closet shelf."
"Yep."
"I think that's the first real conversation you've had in years." Lane said.
"Yeah, and you know what?"
"What?"
"It felt good." Rory gazed at the stars, "Real good."
"Well, why wouldn't it? You love the man for God's sakes."
"Loved. Past tense please."
"Right."
Rory took another long satisfying, sip of her wine. "Why aren't you sharing in the fun?"
Lane shrugged, "Not thirsty."
"Oh, come one Lane. I filled your glass ages ago and you haven't yet taken a sip. You never pass up a nice glass of wine unless you're . . ." Rory sat straight up. "LANE!"
"What?" She looked up, startled.
"You're pregnant!"
"No I'm not!"
"You so are!"
"What gave you that idea?"
Rory rolled her eyes, "You haven't drunk any wine weirdo. And I CAN'T believe you waited this long to tell me. Wait you didn't even tell me, I had to figure it out by myself!" Rory settled herself back in her chair and crossed her arms. "I'm mad at you."
Lane laughed, "You sound like you're in second grade."
"I have reason to."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was just waiting for the right time." Lane turned to her. "Forgive me?"
"Of course!" Rory laughed and threw her arms around her best friend, "I'm so happy for you! For the fifth time!"
Lane laughed with her, both drunk with happiness (literally for Rory). "This is definitely the last one, for awhile anyway."
"How far along are you?" Rory asked excitedly.
"One month, I only found out five days ago and wanted to tell you in person."
When they pulled away Rory asked, "Who else knows?"
"Well, Mathew was the first obviously. Mama knows and . . . you." Lane said.
"Oh, I feel so special to be the third, although I was the first for Thomas." Rory said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, that's because you were there when I took the test." Lane said smiling at the memory.
"And I was quite upset to be the TENTH for Melanie, my own god- daughter." Rory said with her eyebrows raised.
"That wasn't my fault!" Lane said indignantly. "You and Jess were living in the city. We have gone over this way too many times. " "When are you going to tell the kids?" Rory asked.
"When they're ready."
"Will they ever be ready?"
"No, so we'll probably tell them in the next month or so." Lane sighed, "But they'll probably find out sooner when someone slips and you know who that'll be."
"Mathew."
"Yep. He can never keep a secret especially if it's a good one."
"You two talking about yours truly again?" Mathew had walk up behind them.
"Who else?" Lane asked looking up at him. "You're always the main topic of every one's conversations."
"What can say? I'm just so popular." Mathew sat down on the ground between them. "It's hard to be me."
Lane made a grunting sound.
"You okay dharlin?" Mathew asked patting Lane's hand with a devilish grin on his face.
The three of them stayed outside talking for hours while four kids upstairs were sleeping peacefully in their beds.
* * *
Later that night Lane lay quietly in her bed. It was two in the morning, she simply could not fall asleep. Maybe she had short term insomnia. Sighing, she rolled over in bed to find Matthew facing her, his mouth wide open and his hair mussed. Scorning him for falling asleep so easily every night, Lane pulled herself out of bed and padded out of the room and down the stairs.
Upon reaching the kitchen, Lane placed a pan on the oven and filled it with milk. Hopefully some nice, hot chocolate would put her right to sleep.
When her hot chocolate was completed she made her way into the living and took out some old photo albums that she hadn't looked at in ages. She flipped through a tired, sagging blue flower printed album that was frayed around the edges. She grinned as she went through it, watching her entire past life turn by.
Here she was pregnant with Thomas. Her baby shower. Thomas as a new born. His first few weeks of life. It was definitely true what they say about parents taking too many pictures of their first child. Here was Thomas's baptism. Thomas's first Christmas. And then here she was again pregnant with Kimmy.
Lane continued to flip through the photo album until she cam across one that made her stop abruptly. She squinted at it and smiled finally, it was of Jess and Rory at Thomas's first birthday party. They had only been married for a year then and were looking happier than ever. Rory had frosting on her nose and was sticking out her tongue at the camera; Jess had a plate of cake in his hands and was kissing Rory on the cheek.
Lane shook her head and sighed, they had been so happy. These people in the picture had no idea that in four years they would barely be able to speak to each other much less be in one another's presence. They had no idea that four years later Rory would have a break down at work that would change everything.
Lane bit her lip and thought of another memory much less happy then Thomas's first birthday party.
*Flashback*
Rory sat across from Lane at the kitchen table slowly drinking her steaming cup of coffee. Their were bags under her eyes and her face was so pale compared to the deep rose colored wall behind her. Her hair was greasy and unkempt, her eyes lifeless.
Rory closed her eyes and breathed in the aroma of coffee, "Mmm, this is wonderful. They wouldn't let me drink any of this."
Lane smiled ever so faintly, "Feel good to be home?"
"It feels okay here." Rory said looking down at the table.
Biting her lip Lane ignored Rory's last comment, "You're not going back to work are you?"
Rory shook her head so that her hair moved slightly in its greasy state. "I'm going to look for a new job where I can actually write. I never liked my other one anyway, not that they would take be back anyway. Nobody wants a person that has a nervous break down followed by a seizure." Rory frowned and then took another satisfying gulp of her coffee.
Lane clenched and unclenched her hands, "Rory, you need to see someone."
She furrowed her eyebrows, "Lane I'm fine. It was just one breakdown."
"It was not JUST a breakdown Rory! You were hospitalized for three days!" Lane shook her head angrily, "You NEED help."
Rory set down her cup of coffee and stared at Lane calmly, "You know I can't do that."
"Yes Rory, you can or it's just going to get worse and worse! Don't you understand that?"
There was a loud ticking noise in the background as Rory rubbed her temples. "You don't know how it feels Lane. You have no idea."
"I know that Rory." Lane said. "There are groups you can go to; psychiatrists! I don't know what to do!"
Rory forced a smile, "You're enough for me."
Lane sighed, "No I'm not. I can't lose you like this okay Rory? And neither can Jess. It's not right." She looked up sharply when Lane said Jess's name. "He keeps asking me all these questions. I can't take it, he looks at me like I'm a freak or something."
"He's worried about you!" Lane cried desperately. "I spoke with him Rory! God, he's beside himself with anguish. He doesn't know what's wrong with you and he loves you so much!"
In a small voice Rory said, "I can't tell him Lane . . . I just can't."
"Then you need to tell someone else."
"Everyone would think that I am the worst person in the world. He would hate me."
"It's NOT your fault! There's sick people out-"
But Rory cut her off, "I'm not going to Lane! Okay?! I won't do it." Rory slammed her coffee cup on the table so that brown liquid sloshed down the sides; it looked as though she was about to storm out of the room when she said now calm, "I think I'm going to leave him."
Lane stared at the coffee swimming on the wood surface of the table and sliding through the cracks. She was losing her best friend and she couldn't do a damn thing about it.
*Present*
Lane slammed the photo album shut and finished the last of her hot chocolate. Those had been some of the scariest months of her life. Rory calling from a pay phone in the inner city asking Lane to pick her up, Rory having a nervous breakdown slash seizure at her work three weeks later, and then there had been seriously a time when Lane thought Rory was suicidal.
But it had all settled down after Rory separated from Jess. Lane had truly thought then that it would be the end of Rory from then on. But it had been the exact opposite, Rory seemed to have found new meaning for life after the separation.
Jess on the other had had lost all meaning for life.
Lane settled back on the couch pulling an afghan tightly around her. Their life was like a soap opera or something, a very terrifying soap opera.
Within five minutes Lane fell asleep. But her dreams were unsettling, and her sleep restless.
