AN: I just wanted to thank everyone for all of the awesome
reviews!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the next chapter . . .
make me hurt
They were sitting at the kitchen table again.
"Why are you doing that now?" He asked.
Rory was smoothing out bread dough with a roller. Her hands were white with flour.
She looked up, "Don't you want any?"
"No." He shook his head.
"It will be good." Rory started smoothing out the dough with her hands.
Jess shook his head again, "No, I don't think so."
Rory shrugged and began smoothing it out with the roller again.
"Can't you do this somewhere else?" He asked.
Rory didn't even look up, "Of course not."
Jess looked up at the ceiling, Rory was saying something else but he decided not to listen.
Why was she here again?
A loud banging sound made him jump.
Rory was banging the roller on the table, "You never listen."
"Stop!"
But she didn't stop, she kept on banging.
His eyes snapped open. He was in his bedroom. The dough was gone, the kitchen was gone, and so was Rory.
But the banging was still there!
Someone was banging on his front door. He looked at his clock, it was 1:00. Who would be here now? He pulled himself out of bed throwing off the covers and went to the door. He looked through the peep hole.
It was Rory. Holy shit. Was he still dreaming? What was she doing here?!
He opened the door, "Rory . . .?" He said as she swept past him into his apartment. "What are you doing here?"
She ran her hands through her tangled hair, "You said you wanted answers didn't you?"
Jess was startled, "Now?" He shit the door behind him.
Her hands were shaking again. Just tell him. Just tell him.
"Rory?"
She looked up.
"How much coffee have you had?" He asked.
Rory shrugged, "I don't know. Three, maybe four cups."
"Oh, Jesus Rory. You shouldn't have done this now." He said, he felt around the wall until he came across the light switch and flicked it upward.
Rory stared at him hard. He was only wearing boxers. His finely, chiseled chest stared back at her.
Jess looked down and realized that he was half naked, "I'll go put on a shirt."
Rory shrugged wearily, "It's not anything I haven't seen before."
"You shouldn't have done this now." Jess said again.
"Yes, I have to do this now." Rory bit her lip until she tasted blood. He was going to hate her, he'd never speak to her again. Never.
Minutes went by before either of them spoke.
"Jess?"
"Yeah?" He looked up at her.
"Do you remember that weekend Lane and I took to go to the spa?" She asked. Now that the moment had finally came she was somewhat calm. Her hands had stopped shaking at least.
Jess had a thoughtful expression on his face and then it dawned on him, "Oh, yeah. I do."
Rory said something so softly that he didn't hear. She stared at the door behind him.
"What was that?" Jess asked slowly moving towards her.
"We didn't go to the spa." She said louder this time.
Jess narrowed his eyes, "Where did you go?"
Rory took a deep breath, "We went somewhere else."
"Where?" Jess asked placing his hands on her forearms.
She still wouldn't look at him. "We didn't go to the spa."
"I know that Rory, where did you go instead?" Jess tried to keep a hold of his patience. She had cheated on him. They had gone somewhere so she could cheat on him.
A tear fell down Rory's face, "I was so scared. I wanted you to be there but you weren't." She leaned into him. "It was all so white."
Jess slowly put his arms around her.
"I should have told you." Rory said into his shoulder.
"It's okay." Jess said rubbing her back. It felt so good to hold her again.
"I didn't know what to do, we didn't have enough money." Rory tightened her hold on him. "Please forgive me. Please."
"For what Rory?" Jess said.
"Please don't hate me. I don't think I could stand it."
Jess squeezed his eyes shut and held her tight, "I would never hate you Rory. Never."
Rory slowly pulled away, looking at the ground. She wiped her face again that night with her sleeve. "I . . . we went to . . ." Rory trailed off and then did the bravest thing she'd ever done in her whole life. She looked straight into his eyes. "I had an abortion."
For a moment there was complete silence in the room.
And then Jess stepped back, his eyes wide with shock. "You what . . .?" He stared at her. She what?? A fucking abortion? He had never expected this.
Rory shook her head, "We had barely enough money for ourselves. We couldn't afford a baby. We had talked about it . . . I mean I know we both wanted kids so badly, but we had both decided to wait. . . and, and I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to worry you." The rest, what was the rest? Should she tell him? Would he understand? What was the rest??!!!
"You what . . . ?" Jess said again. He didn't know what else to say. He'd never expected this, never. What would their life be like now? Would they have a son? A daughter? Would she have beautiful blue eyes like her mother? Would . . .
"I had an abortion Jess. I killed our baby." Rory's eyes had turned a dark blue, they were filled with total grief and sorrow. "I'm sorry."
Jess couldn't look at her so he looked everywhere else. At the door, the couch, the T.V, the ground. This can't be happening. They could have been a family. He could have been a father . . .
"Please say something Jess." Rory just stood there, not knowing what to do.
Jess stared at the ground, "I think I need to be alone right now." He could have been a father?
"I understand." Rory said quietly as she backed away. She reached into her purse and pulled out the divorce papers. "You'll probably be wanting these."
Jess looked up and watched blankly as she placed the papers on the coffee table. They looked old and wrinkled, as though they had been read too many times.
He continued to stare at the papers as he heard the door open and then shut with a click.
Right now. They could have had a family. A family. Maybe they would have had even more children. He would have been a father. A father.
He didn't look up until he heard footsteps walking down the hallway away from him.
A father to a child. A dad to a son. A daddy to a daughter. A father? Him? A . . . father?
The room was empty. He was alone.
Again.
****************************************************
A phone rang in the distance.
It rang again.
It was three in the morning! Who would be calling now?
Lane groaned as she searched for the phone on her bed stand.
"Damn." She whispered when she knocked over a glass of water. She picked up the phone and held it to her ear, "Hello?" She said groggily.
"I did it." Rory's voice came through the line.
Lane furrowed her eyebrows, "Huh?"
"I told him."
Lane shot up in bed, suddenly awake. "Jess?"
"Yes."
"Oh, shit Rory. Are you okay? What happened?" She asked loudly.
"I think I'll be okay. He just told me to leave."
"He told you to leave?!" Lane almost shouted. Mathew rolled over beside her and she lowered her voice, "What do you mean he told you to leave?"
"He just said that he needed some time alone, so I left."
"That bastard! After everything you went through!" Lane paused to lower her voice again. "Oh, man Rory, do you wanna come over? You really told him everything? Jesus, Mary and Joseph." Lane made the sign of the cross across her chest.
"I'm at a hotel right now right outside his town, I don't think I'm up to the drive at this point." Rory said quietly.
"Do you want me to come there?"
"Lane, no, of course not. I'll be fine." Rory sounded as though she was trying to convince herself the same thing.
"Okay, but you come over here as soon as you're ready, okay?" Lane told her.
"Alright, thanks Lane. Sorry to call you so late." Rory's voice faltered through the phone, "I just needed someone to talk to."
"I know, hon. You can call me anytime, you know that."
"Yeah, I do."
"Rory get some sleep, okay? I'll be here in the morning."
"Thanks Lane. Love you."
"Love you too. See you tomorrow."
"Bye."
Lane held onto the phone long after Rory hung up, listening to the dial tong.
Her worries started anew. What would happen now?
****************************************************
"How was English today?" Sara asked as she stopped by Katie's locker.
Katie knitted her eyebrows, "It wasn't so bad." She shrugged, "He told us the quiz wouldn't count and he apologized for acting like an ass on Friday."
"Swearing." Sara reminded her. Katie was trying to give up her habit of swearing every two seconds to no avail
"No, but he really did say that. He called himself an ass." Katie protested.
Sara laughed, "Okay."
Katie closed her locker and turned to her friend, "But it was weird, he acting so . . . so gloomy. I guess." Katie shook her head, "I don't know how to explain it, he just wasn't himself."
"Do you think it would be safe to ask him for a book list?"
Katie rolled her eyes, "You and your book lists."
"Hey! I like to read!"
"I know, and yeah I think it would."
"Alright, see you at lunch." Sara said as she walked to English class.
"See ya." Katie ran down the hallway in the opposite direction.
At the end of English class Sara made the decision not to ask Mr. Mariano for the book list. Katie was right, he did look gloomy. Broody almost.
The bell rang and she made her way out of the classroom but his voice stopped her.
"Sara, come here for a second."
Sara bit her lip and went to his desk. She stood there, waiting.
Mr. Mariano shuffled through his papers until he found the one he was looking for, "I found you a list of books. I didn't make it, but I thought you'd like it." He handed it to her.
Somewhat surprised Sara took it from him, "Thank you." She studied it, it had been torn out of a magazine. And the top it was titled, "Books I Loved While Growing Up With Teenage Hormones.". Below was the title with a list of the author's top fifty books. Sara grinned, "This is really great."
Mr. Mariano gave her a small smile, "I thought you'd like it."
Sara noticed the bags under his eyes, she quickly looked back down at the article, scanning for the authors name. She found it: Rory G. Mariano. Her eyebrows shot up, "Are you related to the author?" She looked up in time to see him wince.
Mr. Mariano shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "I was." He said.
"Oh." Sara put the article in her folder, "Well, thanks again Mr. Mariano."
"No, problem, see you tomorrow."
Sara said, "Bye." As she walked out of the classroom.
Would she ever figure her English teacher out?
Probably not.
And who was this Rory G. Mariano?
AN: Hey I'm so sorry this chapter is so short, but I promise I'll be updating in a couple of days guaranteed!! Anyway, I really hoped you liked it, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
make me hurt
They were sitting at the kitchen table again.
"Why are you doing that now?" He asked.
Rory was smoothing out bread dough with a roller. Her hands were white with flour.
She looked up, "Don't you want any?"
"No." He shook his head.
"It will be good." Rory started smoothing out the dough with her hands.
Jess shook his head again, "No, I don't think so."
Rory shrugged and began smoothing it out with the roller again.
"Can't you do this somewhere else?" He asked.
Rory didn't even look up, "Of course not."
Jess looked up at the ceiling, Rory was saying something else but he decided not to listen.
Why was she here again?
A loud banging sound made him jump.
Rory was banging the roller on the table, "You never listen."
"Stop!"
But she didn't stop, she kept on banging.
His eyes snapped open. He was in his bedroom. The dough was gone, the kitchen was gone, and so was Rory.
But the banging was still there!
Someone was banging on his front door. He looked at his clock, it was 1:00. Who would be here now? He pulled himself out of bed throwing off the covers and went to the door. He looked through the peep hole.
It was Rory. Holy shit. Was he still dreaming? What was she doing here?!
He opened the door, "Rory . . .?" He said as she swept past him into his apartment. "What are you doing here?"
She ran her hands through her tangled hair, "You said you wanted answers didn't you?"
Jess was startled, "Now?" He shit the door behind him.
Her hands were shaking again. Just tell him. Just tell him.
"Rory?"
She looked up.
"How much coffee have you had?" He asked.
Rory shrugged, "I don't know. Three, maybe four cups."
"Oh, Jesus Rory. You shouldn't have done this now." He said, he felt around the wall until he came across the light switch and flicked it upward.
Rory stared at him hard. He was only wearing boxers. His finely, chiseled chest stared back at her.
Jess looked down and realized that he was half naked, "I'll go put on a shirt."
Rory shrugged wearily, "It's not anything I haven't seen before."
"You shouldn't have done this now." Jess said again.
"Yes, I have to do this now." Rory bit her lip until she tasted blood. He was going to hate her, he'd never speak to her again. Never.
Minutes went by before either of them spoke.
"Jess?"
"Yeah?" He looked up at her.
"Do you remember that weekend Lane and I took to go to the spa?" She asked. Now that the moment had finally came she was somewhat calm. Her hands had stopped shaking at least.
Jess had a thoughtful expression on his face and then it dawned on him, "Oh, yeah. I do."
Rory said something so softly that he didn't hear. She stared at the door behind him.
"What was that?" Jess asked slowly moving towards her.
"We didn't go to the spa." She said louder this time.
Jess narrowed his eyes, "Where did you go?"
Rory took a deep breath, "We went somewhere else."
"Where?" Jess asked placing his hands on her forearms.
She still wouldn't look at him. "We didn't go to the spa."
"I know that Rory, where did you go instead?" Jess tried to keep a hold of his patience. She had cheated on him. They had gone somewhere so she could cheat on him.
A tear fell down Rory's face, "I was so scared. I wanted you to be there but you weren't." She leaned into him. "It was all so white."
Jess slowly put his arms around her.
"I should have told you." Rory said into his shoulder.
"It's okay." Jess said rubbing her back. It felt so good to hold her again.
"I didn't know what to do, we didn't have enough money." Rory tightened her hold on him. "Please forgive me. Please."
"For what Rory?" Jess said.
"Please don't hate me. I don't think I could stand it."
Jess squeezed his eyes shut and held her tight, "I would never hate you Rory. Never."
Rory slowly pulled away, looking at the ground. She wiped her face again that night with her sleeve. "I . . . we went to . . ." Rory trailed off and then did the bravest thing she'd ever done in her whole life. She looked straight into his eyes. "I had an abortion."
For a moment there was complete silence in the room.
And then Jess stepped back, his eyes wide with shock. "You what . . .?" He stared at her. She what?? A fucking abortion? He had never expected this.
Rory shook her head, "We had barely enough money for ourselves. We couldn't afford a baby. We had talked about it . . . I mean I know we both wanted kids so badly, but we had both decided to wait. . . and, and I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to worry you." The rest, what was the rest? Should she tell him? Would he understand? What was the rest??!!!
"You what . . . ?" Jess said again. He didn't know what else to say. He'd never expected this, never. What would their life be like now? Would they have a son? A daughter? Would she have beautiful blue eyes like her mother? Would . . .
"I had an abortion Jess. I killed our baby." Rory's eyes had turned a dark blue, they were filled with total grief and sorrow. "I'm sorry."
Jess couldn't look at her so he looked everywhere else. At the door, the couch, the T.V, the ground. This can't be happening. They could have been a family. He could have been a father . . .
"Please say something Jess." Rory just stood there, not knowing what to do.
Jess stared at the ground, "I think I need to be alone right now." He could have been a father?
"I understand." Rory said quietly as she backed away. She reached into her purse and pulled out the divorce papers. "You'll probably be wanting these."
Jess looked up and watched blankly as she placed the papers on the coffee table. They looked old and wrinkled, as though they had been read too many times.
He continued to stare at the papers as he heard the door open and then shut with a click.
Right now. They could have had a family. A family. Maybe they would have had even more children. He would have been a father. A father.
He didn't look up until he heard footsteps walking down the hallway away from him.
A father to a child. A dad to a son. A daddy to a daughter. A father? Him? A . . . father?
The room was empty. He was alone.
Again.
****************************************************
A phone rang in the distance.
It rang again.
It was three in the morning! Who would be calling now?
Lane groaned as she searched for the phone on her bed stand.
"Damn." She whispered when she knocked over a glass of water. She picked up the phone and held it to her ear, "Hello?" She said groggily.
"I did it." Rory's voice came through the line.
Lane furrowed her eyebrows, "Huh?"
"I told him."
Lane shot up in bed, suddenly awake. "Jess?"
"Yes."
"Oh, shit Rory. Are you okay? What happened?" She asked loudly.
"I think I'll be okay. He just told me to leave."
"He told you to leave?!" Lane almost shouted. Mathew rolled over beside her and she lowered her voice, "What do you mean he told you to leave?"
"He just said that he needed some time alone, so I left."
"That bastard! After everything you went through!" Lane paused to lower her voice again. "Oh, man Rory, do you wanna come over? You really told him everything? Jesus, Mary and Joseph." Lane made the sign of the cross across her chest.
"I'm at a hotel right now right outside his town, I don't think I'm up to the drive at this point." Rory said quietly.
"Do you want me to come there?"
"Lane, no, of course not. I'll be fine." Rory sounded as though she was trying to convince herself the same thing.
"Okay, but you come over here as soon as you're ready, okay?" Lane told her.
"Alright, thanks Lane. Sorry to call you so late." Rory's voice faltered through the phone, "I just needed someone to talk to."
"I know, hon. You can call me anytime, you know that."
"Yeah, I do."
"Rory get some sleep, okay? I'll be here in the morning."
"Thanks Lane. Love you."
"Love you too. See you tomorrow."
"Bye."
Lane held onto the phone long after Rory hung up, listening to the dial tong.
Her worries started anew. What would happen now?
****************************************************
"How was English today?" Sara asked as she stopped by Katie's locker.
Katie knitted her eyebrows, "It wasn't so bad." She shrugged, "He told us the quiz wouldn't count and he apologized for acting like an ass on Friday."
"Swearing." Sara reminded her. Katie was trying to give up her habit of swearing every two seconds to no avail
"No, but he really did say that. He called himself an ass." Katie protested.
Sara laughed, "Okay."
Katie closed her locker and turned to her friend, "But it was weird, he acting so . . . so gloomy. I guess." Katie shook her head, "I don't know how to explain it, he just wasn't himself."
"Do you think it would be safe to ask him for a book list?"
Katie rolled her eyes, "You and your book lists."
"Hey! I like to read!"
"I know, and yeah I think it would."
"Alright, see you at lunch." Sara said as she walked to English class.
"See ya." Katie ran down the hallway in the opposite direction.
At the end of English class Sara made the decision not to ask Mr. Mariano for the book list. Katie was right, he did look gloomy. Broody almost.
The bell rang and she made her way out of the classroom but his voice stopped her.
"Sara, come here for a second."
Sara bit her lip and went to his desk. She stood there, waiting.
Mr. Mariano shuffled through his papers until he found the one he was looking for, "I found you a list of books. I didn't make it, but I thought you'd like it." He handed it to her.
Somewhat surprised Sara took it from him, "Thank you." She studied it, it had been torn out of a magazine. And the top it was titled, "Books I Loved While Growing Up With Teenage Hormones.". Below was the title with a list of the author's top fifty books. Sara grinned, "This is really great."
Mr. Mariano gave her a small smile, "I thought you'd like it."
Sara noticed the bags under his eyes, she quickly looked back down at the article, scanning for the authors name. She found it: Rory G. Mariano. Her eyebrows shot up, "Are you related to the author?" She looked up in time to see him wince.
Mr. Mariano shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "I was." He said.
"Oh." Sara put the article in her folder, "Well, thanks again Mr. Mariano."
"No, problem, see you tomorrow."
Sara said, "Bye." As she walked out of the classroom.
Would she ever figure her English teacher out?
Probably not.
And who was this Rory G. Mariano?
AN: Hey I'm so sorry this chapter is so short, but I promise I'll be updating in a couple of days guaranteed!! Anyway, I really hoped you liked it, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
