AN: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed!! They have been so great! I can't tell you how much I appreciate them. And thank you to whoever nominated Pretty Baby at the Pride and Prejudiced site, that was a really great surprise, I felt so honored. Thank you! And I have just one more thanks to everyone who told me about that story I was wondering about. It's Two Roads Diverged by Wishful Thinking, if anyone else wanted to know. I read it again, and of course loved it again, but I'm so disappointed that the author still hasn't updated yet! I really wish she would! It's an amazing lit with a great plot line. Anyway, sorry about the rambling, here's the next chapter, hope you like!!!!

~Kay

oh the place

Jules stared back at him, biting her lip.

"I think that the real question is, do you still love her?"

"That's not the point."

"I think it is."

"You're not helping."

"Who said I was trying to?"

"You should be."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Do you still love her?"

"Easier asked then answered."

"It's just a simple answer of yes or no."

"It's just not that simple."

"Why'd you kiss her?"

"Spur of the moment?"

"Bull shit."

"Because she was right there in front of me."

"Huh."

"What does that mean?"

"What does what mean?"

"You did a 'huh'."

"What's your point?"

"It didn't sound nice."

"I didn't realize."

"Well, now you do."

"Okay . . .New topic! You have forgiven her right?"

There was a slight pause as Jess switched to a more serious tone, "Yes."

"But will you forget?"

"No, I don't think I could."

"Would you hold it against her?"

"Of course not, I told you I've forgiven her."

"Forgiven but not forgotten."

"Yeah."

"Do you want her to marry Ryan?"

"Hell no."

"Do you ever miss what you had?"

"All the time."

"Do you still love her?"

"I just don't know. I feel like I'm always the cause of her pain . . .I don't want that."

Jules offered him a small smile over her tea, "You've never stopped loving her."

Jess looked down at his own tea.

"And you forgave her."

"Yes, I did." He looked up, his eyes sad.

"Do you think she's forgiven herself?"

"I don't know."

Later on that day Jules walked back to her apartment. She wanted to meet this Rory. To yell at her for what she did to Jess.

She had only met Jess two weeks ago but already they were fast friends.

Jess had told her everything about their marriage and what happened with it. He hadn't told anyone else. Jules wasn't even sure why he told her. Maybe because he needed someone to talk to who didn't know Rory Gilmore.

He was still so in love with her.

She was going to have a talk with Rory Gilmore, set things straight.

Someone had to.

****************************************************

The sky outside was a dreary gray, it reflected his mood well. He took a small sip of his ice water and let it fall coldly down his throat, it helped clear his head. A little anyway.

He checked his watch for what seemed like the tenth time, she would be here any minute now. She would sit down across from him and he would tell her exactly how he felt. His palms were sweating, how could he possibly do this? He loved her so much.

A waiter came to his table and asked what he could like to drink, he answered vaguely, "A Johnny Walker on the rocks, please." But he didn't even notice when a few minutes later his drink was placed in front of him. He could only think of what he was about to do.

Why couldn't things be different? Why did he ever have to meet her? Why, oh why did he let himself fall for her? But he never really let himself lover her, it just happened. He never really meant for it, he never once saw it coming. No, he could not have stopped it if he tried.

*Flashback*

Ryan stood at the bar waiting for his drink, a scotch on the rocks. He tapped his fingers against the hard word impatiently, he didn't even want to be here. He hated going to these stupid family parties, his mother always insisted he did though, "to keep the family name intact." Whatever the hell that meant. This Saturday night they were at the Gilmore's, whoever they were. He had met the stately old lady only briefly to exchange greetings. He hated all the stupid questions these people asked, trying to be polite but not really knowing him at all. But as soon as he finished his drink he would be on his way home, he had a proposal to finish up for Monday anyway.

A drink was shortly placed in front of him. Much to his disgust it was vodka, he was about to tell the bar tender when a petite woman came rushing up interrupting him, "Do you have coffee?" She asked breathlessly. Her eyes were wide and urgent, a blueberry blue. Ryan couldn't help but stare at her. Her hair was held up in a French twist, and her simple black dress clung to her slender body emphasizing her figure.

The bar tender was staring at her also, but in surprise. "No ma'am we don't. Isn't there coffee at the refreshment table in the parlor?"

The woman looked utterly disappointed. "There was. But it's gone now." She sighed and leaned against the bar, "Great, now I have to spend another two hours here deprived of a good cup of coffee. Those old bats won't stop asking me questions: 'I heard what happened, how dreadful', 'How are you holding up?' As if they don't know." She rolled her eyes talking to no one in particular.

Ryan smiled when she said this. He hadn't a clue what she was talking about, but it seemed that she was feeling exactly as he was. She turned her head and caught him staring at her. She offered her own tentative smile, "I think she does this on purpose."

"Who?" Ryan said startled.

"My grandmother." She pushed herself away from the bar. "Only puts out enough coffee to last me an hour before I get too jittery." She laughed softly to herself. She stared at something over his shoulder, it seemed as though she had withdrawn into herself, thinking of another time. She came back to him and said, "Back to the battle field."

She was about to leave when Ryan touched her arm and said, "Wait. I'm not one for these kind of parties either, we could keep each other company."

She glanced up at him and then away, hesitating. And then finally said, "Well, okay, as long as you keep the topic simple."

"I'll be sure to." He offered his hand. "I'm Ryan."

She took his hand and smiled, "Nice to meet you Ryan, I'm Rory Gilmore."

*Present*

That night he fell in love. They had gone out for coffee and pie, and then he had fallen in love with her. Over coffee and pie. A month later she told him about her divorce, that she could never love again. But that's when he had made his mistake, he should have left the relationship right then. He should have seen that she could never really give herself to him, she was already taken. But foolishly, he had thought that he could make her love him, make her really see him, make her his.

Now, here he was two years later waiting for her on a dreary day to speak his mind.

And of course came the time when a pair of blue eyes appeared in front of his, and soft lips brushed his cheek, and her voice said to him, "Hey Ry."

But he managed to compose himself through a minute of enjoyable conversation. She was perfect and he wanted her to be his forever. But she couldn't, she already belonged to someone else. Finally, after a few questions about work and her day, he cleared his throat. "Rory," he said, "I need to talk to you."

She tilted her head, a small smile caught her lips and her eyes were perplexed. "But we are talking."

There was something in her eyes that was different. What was it? "We need to talk about the wedding."

He watched as a smile appeared on her face. Was that strained or forced?

But then she leaned forward, "Oh, well, I was just looking at bridesmaids dresses and I was thinking maybe a dark emerald green! Lane looks fantastic in green and-"

"Not the plans." Ryan cut her off abruptly. "Actually," he dabbed his slightly sticky forehead with his napkin, "I think we should post pone plans for a little while."

Rory's smile quickly disappeared, her face awash with confusion. "What? . . .Why?"

"Because I want to make sure this is right." He said simply. His heart was pounding so hard against his chest.

"Ryan . . ." She leaned back in her chair looked dejected. "I thought you wanted this."

Ryan looked away, out at the still dark sky. "I do. But I'm not entirely sure about you." He paused to look back at her, "And don't give me false reassurances. I want to know how you really feel."

And the worst thing that could have possibly happened did happen. Rory did not answer him, she instead stared down at the table. He wanted her to reassure him, he wanted her to say, "Ryan! How could you say such a thing? Of course I want to be your wife! I love you."

But this did not happen at all, in fact it was silent for another few minutes until she finally spoke. "I might need a little time to sort things out." She said. Her eyes glanced out the window and then back to him.

Ryan nodded, running a hand through his chestnut locks, "Okay." He managed. He had always been a quiet person, but Ryan never realized how much silence could hurt a person. The air was so still it gave him a headache. Say something, say something. But there was nothing to say. And there was nothing she could possibly say to make the pain go away.

After five minutes of utter stillness, Rory finally spoke. "So." She swallowed hard. "What now?"

"I guess we should just spend some time apart, find out what we really mean to each other." Ryan looked at her hard, she was staring out and the sunless sky. "Rory."

She turned to him with sad eyes.

"I don't want to exchange vows with you while your thinking of someone else."

A surprised look fell across her face; her mouth opened and closed. She didn't know how to respond to that because . . . because it was completely true. Her head dropped, she felt so ashamed.

"I just want this to be right." Ryan went on. "So I think we should just take a month off, find out how we really feel." He didn't need a month for this, or even a day. He knew how he felt about Rory in a second. In an instant. In a heartbeat. But she didn't.

"I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way." She said still staring down into her lap. "I never meant to."

"I know." He whispered. He took one last sip of his drink and stood up. "We'll stay in touch then?"

She nodded numbly, not believing what was really happening.

"Goodbye Rory." He said. He wanted to reach up and touch her cheek so badly. But he didn't. Instead he quickly turned around and walked out of the restaurant.

He knew there would be no wedding. He knew he had just lost a part of himself to someone who could never love him.

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