I had this chapter posted as soon as I was done with it which was longer than I expected, I've kinda had writers block lately. Thank you all again and again and again for your reviews! I am so overwhelmed and excited when I got to read my reviews, I really like knowing what everyone thinks so that way I can try to improve. So after you read this chapter you can review again! Thanks again!!!!!

~Kay

light me up

For some reason tonight Lane Kim Cummings was free of worries. Her mother was coming over for dinner tomorrow night, Kimmy failed her last math test, James had a sprained wrist, her ankles were already ballooning, and her best friend had just called her to inform her that she was on her way to see her ex husband whom she still loved.

Lane furrowed her eyebrows and thought that she should certainly be worried right now. What if Kimmy fails math all together? What if Rory gets hurt again? What if her mother finds hair in her steak? What if Jess rejects her? What if she can never walk again due to her oversized ankles? What if Rory never moves on?

But instead of thinking of this, Lane has a contented feeling that everything is right in the world. Her children were outside with a father whom they adore, and she felt the one inside of her growing more everyday. She wanted to stay in this moment for eternity when her children were still innocent and young, when her heart is so happy that it might burst, when she knew her best friend of thirty years might be just as lucky as she is.

Lane hoped for this more than anything.

As she cleared the table from dinner she thought of her childhood with Rory. Leaving secret messages for each other under a table at Luke's, whispering secret dreams for their future in a field of flowers and longing, holding hands on the first day in nervousness and support, and finding a friend that can look into your eyes and know your soul without even trying.

She is still thinking of years ago when Melanie ran into the kitchen shrieking, "Mom! Mom! Mom!"

Lane looked up surprised at her broken reverie, and somewhat annoyed. "What is it?"

"Mommy! You have to come see!" Melanie grabbed her mother's hand and pulled her to the door.

"Mel, I am in the middle of washing the dishes." Lane said in exasperated voice wiping her hands on a dish rag.

"Mommy!" Melanie yelled stamping her foot, "You have to come right now!"

Lane raised her eyebrows, "Okay, okay."

Melanie grinned and took her mother's hand once again. She pulled her hard to the door while Lane was in the middle of pulling off her apron. Melanie opened the front door and a cold chill washed over them. And Lane gasped.

"Snow!" Melanie yelled and ran outside to join her siblings who were dancing through tiny snowflakes.

Lane held her hand out to let the flakes slowly collect in her palm and she smiled widely. The first snow had come finally come.

The snow flakes melted in her hand as it was covered by Mathew's and he pulled her close.

****************************************************

She heard the sound before she saw it. The sharp spray of water as rocks skipped over its ripples.

She took a step onto the bridge, "I see you haven't lost your touch." The cold December air bit her ears. She brought her arms tighter around her torso, she could feel her heart beating through the thickness of her jacket. She wondered when it would finally snow.

He looked up at her, "Yeah, surprising since I haven't had much practice." He skillfully threw another across the water. They both watched as it skipped four times and then disappeared into the water.

She walked to him until she was a few feet away, but she simply could not bring herself to look at him. She watched as another rock flew across the water, creating shimmering ripples.

"It's funny. I haven't been here in over three years, but in the past few months I've been here twice already." He said, and his voice sounded thick in the darkness, it reverberated across the air and into her head. Another rock skipped across the water.

"You called my mom." She said abruptly.

"Yeah, I did." He couldn't bring himself to look at her either. It seemed as though he were dreaming. He couldn't possibly be here with her under the moon and the stars and a sky that looked like snow.

"Why?" Her hands were ice cold, she stuffed them into her pockets searching for warmth.

"I needed you here, but I ripped up your number ages ago."

"Oh," and Rory felt stung. He had ripped up her number because he wanted nothing to do with her. Than why had he come?

"What book were you reading?"

"What?" She asked surprised.

"I called about ten times and you never answered."

It hit her then how very well Jess knew her and how Ryan never really knew her at all. She was so surprised by this thought that it took her a moment to answer and when she finally did all she could say was, "Second Nature."

"Alice Hoffman?"

"Yeah, it made me cry."

Jess finally looked sharply at her then, and found that she was very real next to him. That he could feel her warmth radiating off her body and that if he reached out he could touch her cheek and find it very cold. "I'm sorry."

And than Rory turned her head to him and saw that he was looking straight at her and she felt much warmer. She could finally see herself reflected in his eyes as she hadn't in so many years and she wondered if she could stay there inside his warmth. By that time they had both forgotten that they were speaking about a book. They were both thinking of three years wasted alone, and three years of reaching across the bed to find it empty, and three years of searching for happiness to only find loneliness.

"I read something very interesting today." He said and dropped his handful of rocks into the water with a large splash.

The water was all silver when she looked away from him again and she remembered being here months ago when it looked like velvet in the darkness. She wondered if the tears forming in her eyes would look silver or velvet if they fell upon her cheek. But she held them back although her heart was beating so fast that she was worried, and her knees felt so weak that she thought of sitting down.

She finally nodded, but she didn't know what to say. What should she say? It felt as thought her lips were glued shut. She had been waiting for this moment for two weeks now, yet she couldn't think of a single thing to say.

He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his jacket pocket. It was the article. "May I read it?"

Rory's eyes widened slightly, her chapped lips opened slightly to let out a croaked, "yes."

Jess slowly and steadily began to read what was written in the article. "Dear readers, this month I will not be doing my usual column on politics, lessons of life or the rest of the world. Instead, I would like to speak to you personally, from my heart and from my soul; hoping it will reach someone who desperately needs to hear it.

I have accomplished victory. I have relished satisfaction. I
have savored joy. I have felt sadness. I have recognized
jealousy. I have known guilt. I have experienced pain. And
from all these things I have learned to love. If I went through
life without knowing pain, anguish, guilt or sorrow I would not
know how to love today as I do today. I went through everyone
of these experiences with someone very dear to my heart, someone
I lost a long time ago. Since our separation, more then
anything I have felt pain. More then anything I have felt
guilt. Since then, I have not felt enough happiness. I have
not known joy. And since then I have come to love that someone
even more then before. My heart bursts with my love for him.
Until today, not one person knew of this; now I would like to
tell the whole world. . .

Jess paused and finally finished with, "I want you to know one thing: you taught me how to love." When he finally looked up at her, his eyes were bright and he said, "It made me cry."

"Jess," Rory said so softly that she barely even heard herself. Her hands were shaking badly after finally hearing him speak her own words that she had written weeks ago. "I don't want to hurt you again. And. . .and I'm so afraid that I will. I love you more than I did three years ago."

The silence was so still that it hurt her entire body, all she wanted was for him to say something- anything.

And he finally did, "Did you mean it?" He held up the crinkled piece of paper and stared at it as though it weren't even real.

She nodded and said, "Yes."

"A part of me hated you these past three years." Jess said and he looked away from her across the pond. "You don't know what it was like having no answers, thinking that one day you loved me and the next day you didn't. Thinking for so long that I did something wrong."

"I know." Rory said and she wanted to cry. The words he spoke stabbed her heart in every different place. But she didn't want it to stop because it had been so long since she had felt anything but loneliness.

Jess gave a small, ironic laugh, "It was funny though, as hard as I tried . . .I could never stop loving you."

And she did cry then. She put her hands to her face and felt her heart swelling in her chest. "I've been so hallow." She said through her tears. "I've been so empty."

"I never loved anyone until I met you." He said and calmly folded up the piece of paper he still held in his hands, he said "Thank you for this." And then placed it in his pocket.

As Rory cried she wondered how he could be so calm. He still loved her but did he want to be with her? This thought made her want to curl up and die.

"We're different people now." He said quietly still not looking at her, but avoiding eye contact to stare at the night sky covered in clouds and the moon that still managed to shine through.

"I know that." Rory said wiping the tears away from her face and staring straight into his eyes that were still staring away from her. She tipped her chin defiantly but some tears still fell and she wondered again if they were like silver.

"It's been three years and I'm not the same."

"Neither am I."

"It wouldn't be easy you know."

"I know."

"It would be slow."

"I know this." Rory said with a hint of urgency in her voice.

And when he finally looked at her she saw that his eyes were velvet dusk and reflected the moon and the heavens above and she never wanted to stop looking into his eyes for it was there she knew that she would find real happiness. "I've been so hallow." He said using her own words. "I haven't been living."

At that moment Rory would have thrown herself into his arms and declared her love for him a thousand times and begged pardon a million more for the hurt she had caused him, but she didn't because something wet fell onto her nose.

She did not want to move her eyes from his but the pull of magic raised her head to the sky where she saw millions of white flakes falling down on her. Jess raised his head to find the same thing she did and wondered where he heard that snow brought enchantment.

Rory let out a laugh that hadn't sprung from her mouth in years, it was a childlike laugh that inspired hope and longing and rapture "The first snow." She whispered and remembered nights as a child at the first of snow when her mothered whispered in her ear that snow was that of mystic and magic.

After a moment of marveling and wondering they looked back into each other's eyes to find them caught with snow flakes and every thing seemed much simpler.

Rory took a step towards him, her eyes were still connected with his as she recalled falling into his arms as though it were the easiest thing in the world. She remembered the way he smelled and how his voice sounded so close in her ear and how it tickled the hairs on her neck. And finally, as though coming to a conclusion, she threw her arms around his waist and held him tightly. She buried her head into his shoulder doing what she had wanted to do for the past three years.

And slowly, Jess raised his arms to bring her closer into his embrace.

That's all folks!!!!!!! Well, I do have an epilogue (who doesn't?), but that's the end of all the drama and confrontation and soap operaness. I really hope everyone liked the ending and the next chapter will finally be it. Please let me know what you thought in your reviews because I know everyone is going to, right??!

REIVEW SI VOUS PLAIT

~Kay