Well, Ch. 1 is up! (Actually it really is Ch. 2 but due to technical complications it must be referred to as Ch. 1. Sorry for any confusion.
Disclaimer: Digimon isn't mine but the story is.
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Chapter 1
Bad News and More Bad News
Tk looked around at the place that he would soon leave. He was standing at the city gates. He could see the ugly green smoke rising from the chimneys of Org homes. The Orgs were having a farting ritual again. Tk's nose has grown immune to the foul gas but his eyes still water in the putrid odor.
The sky was black even though it was only five o'clock. It was always dark in Butt-Crack Canyon. It was an average day. Orgs lumbered about carrying cannonballs and doing Org things. These things included mugging, raping, and smoking pot. This was the capital city of the Kingdom of the Rancid-Orgs. The city was named after the person who founded it: Dickhead.
Dickhead City was located in the western part of the kingdom. The Kingdom of Aros lay directly north, and that's were Tk was headed. He pushed at the rusty brown gates that would free him of Dickhead. He looked back one last time at his smelly, dark, ugly home. He stood at the edge of the gate with mixed feelings. Dickhead City wasn't the prettiest place but it was his home. He finally mustered up his courage and waved good-by. Then he ran towards Aros.
As soon as he could no longer see the green Org gas he looked up. It seemed to be a clear day and he could almost see the summit of one of the Measly Mountains. Aros was waiting for him.
"Where you think you going?" A voice bellowed. Tk spun around and saw a skinny Org starring at him. (Skinny for Orgs means about 300 pounds.)
"I'm, I'm going to-" Tk stuttered trying to think of an excuse.
"Why ain't you in Dickhead?" The Org belched.
"I was um, hunting for chickens!" Tk exclaimed.
"What's a chicken?" The Org asked.
"It's a type of cannonball" Tk lied.
"Oh ok, well have fun then." And the Org stomped away.
'Whew.' Thought Tk. That was a close call. But just when he thought it was safe; another Org came stopping up the canyon.
"Monkeys!" He was screaming, "the Blubber-Stitch are throwing monkeys! Take cover, take cover!"
Tk looked up and sure enough there were a couple hundred primates tumbling down the canyon. He ran under a tree and crouched behind a rock.
The scene was devastating. Monkeys flew down like bombs onto Dickhead. The monkeys made holes in houses and destroyed bridges. Helpless Orgs started running around in circles. A few of them managed to escape on boats. Tk followed the path of the boats. They were going down the Moo-Moo river. The river flowed east, the boats would be safe.
Tk began running towards the river. As he ran a monkey that fell 16,000 feet landed right next to him. The impact was like that of a meteorite and he fell to the ground. More and more monkeys fell from the sky. Some fell into the Moo-Moo river and created catastrophic waves. One of the waves ate up Tk and brought him splashing into the Moo-Moo.
As soon as he surfaced, he found out why it was called the Moo-Moo. There were cow-sharks. Sharks with utters. Tk screamed for help. He tried to get away from a cow-shark, but another monkey fell into the river and caused more waves. Tk's body was launched up into the air. Fortunately he landed in a boat.
"Oh my God the Blubber-Stitch are throwing people too." Cried an Org, "don't worry little guy, you'll be safe where we are going."
Tk coughed out some water, "Where are we going?" he managed to choke out.
"We're going to Blackball." The Org said.
Tk gasped. Not Blackball, any other city but Blackball. Just before he could protest, another monkey whizzed past the boat and Tk passed out.
***
Tk rubbed his eyes and sat up. A big, slobbering, ugly Org was starring at him.
"So the little idiot woke up after all." The Org bellowed.
Tk ignored the insult. He was used to it. Insulting people was considered polite by Org terms. Then again, an Org probably doesn't know what the word polite means.
"My cheeks hurt" Tk groaned.
"That's because I was slapping you trying to wake you up." The Org laughed.
Tk rolled his eyes and sat up. He was sitting outside by a campfire. He squinted in the darkness and his face went pale. Up ahead lay the gates to Blackball.
Blackball was the military outpost of the kingdom. It was were all the cannonballs were fired. So directly north of the city, lay the massive Kingdom of Ty. Blackball was the ugliest, dirtiest, most disgusting poop-hole on the planet. A tourist attraction for most Orgs. The city's inhabitants were no better. Tk knew that they would force him to eat a cannonball, either that or he would become one.
"Your lucky kid." The Org said, "your gonna be part of Blackball's army. And as soon as I bring you to the city, Harry will question you and then you will be posted at a cannon and you'll be blowing Ty to bits!"
Tk groaned but then his face went pale again.
"Who did you say was going to question me?" He asked.
"Harry." The Org said smiling.
Harry was the captain of the cannon squad. He would defiantly make Tk eat a cannonball. Or worse. Tk may be forced to launch an Operation Rip Apart. Operation Rip Apart was an attack formation in which Orgs tore open there buttocks therefore forcing rancid gas out of there rectums. An Org's anus was big and loose but Tk would have an experience much like being anally raped. He shuddered at the thought.
At the crack of dawn, Tk was brought into Blackball. Even before he was brought through the gates, he had already devised a plan into tricking the Org into letting him go.
Although he wasn't that lucky. The Org pushed Tk into a building where Harry was waiting for him.
"Hello Tk." Said Harry. Harry's full name was Harry Penis. He was with out a question the smartest Org around. He was a stout Org weighing over 600 pounds, he could easily swallow Tk whole. You could tell this Org ate his share of cannonballs. Tk would soon find out that Harry Penis was also the meanest of all Orgs.
"Welcome to Blackball, Tk." Harry said smiling.
"How do you know my name?" Tk asked.
"It's simple, I was the one who kidnapped you and brought you here eleven years ago." Harry said smiling wickedly.
"What?" Tk asked bewildered.
"Never mind that, we'll talk about that later. Now for business. Do you know what today is?" The ugly Org asked. Tk shook his head.
"Today is the day that we will triumph over Ty!" Harry bellowed sending spit wads all over Tk's clean face.
"What do you mean?" Tk asked.
"Shut up and let me talk! Today is the day that all my hard work and efforts will be paid off. Do you know what I've been preparing for five years?" The Org shouted.
"Nope." Tk said.
"Shut up I said! Don't you dare talk back!" Harry's voice shook the floor. Tk gulped and kept his mouth shut.
"For five years I've been recruiting the smelliest Orgs I could find. I have assembled them all here and for five years I've been giving them food and cannonballs that would move their bowls. Today is the day I will unleash Operation Rip Apart!" He laughed as he said this. Tk's face grew whiter and whiter with each word Harry uttered.
"And so the farts that those Orgs will unleash will send shockwaves powerful enough to crack mountains apart. Let's say someplace like the Measly Mountains." Harry chuckled, "and the farts will reach all the way up into Ju-Ju-Hick!"
Harry got up and stared Tk in the face. He said, "But unfortunately, Operation Rip Apart will not take place today. That is because many of the Orgs I recruited were spending the night at Dickhead City, and you of all people know what happened there.
Tk's eyes watered as he remembered his home being rained upon by destructive monkeys.
"So I will be forced to delay the Operation until I have enough Orgs. This is where you come in." Harry clapped his hands with happiness, "Tk, you will go up the Measly Mountains and spy on there defenses then tell me everything you see."
Tk couldn't believe his luck, could this be the chance to escape that he had been so eagerly waiting for. Nope.
"Don't get any ideas you stupid human. I'll be keeping an eye on you so don't you even think about running away."
Tk sighed. Harry looked at him and said.
"How old are you?"
"Fourteen." Tk said.
"When is your birthday?"
"In two weeks." Tk said. Then he suddenly realized his mistake.
"Ah very good then in two weeks you will eat your first cannonball. And in two weeks I will launch Operation Rip Apart!" Harry laughed and cackled for about half an hour.
"Any questions?" He asked when he was finished laughing.
Tk nodded, "What was that you said about kidnapping me?"
Harry smiled wickedly again, "I'll tell you in two weeks. So you'll have three things to look forward too. Now go get washed and eat something because you'll be spying late this afternoon."
Tk got up and an Org showed him to his new house. He was now a citizen of Blackball.
Harry had a few last words for him, "I'm warning you Tk! Don't even think about running away!"
Tk walked into his house, heated up some water, took of his clothes and got into a tub. As he cleaned himself, he reflected on the recent turn of events.
'Oh well.' He thought, 'At least I didn't get hit by a monkey.' He got out of the tub and dried himself off. As he put his clothes back on he looked out the window and gazed at the Measly Mountains.
"I will escape from this nightmare." He said to himself. Because hope was all he had and hope was his only weapon. Hope was his only beacon toward freedom.
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See? That wasn't to stupid. Takari will be up in the next chapter. Please review, and if you don't, remember I will steal your milk and kill your dog! Au Revoir.
