What's up!!! I just drank about three bottles of coke so I'm kind of hyper right now. It's a good thing I'm writing because it should come out extra funny. It says it's chapter four but it is really three. But if you read the fic from start to now you should have no problem. This will be the only chapter with taiora, so taiora fans don't skip over this chapter! You shouldn't be skipping over anyway. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Digimon is not mine and it probably never will be. But this story, and any other names mentioned other than the digidestined are mine.
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Chapter 3
Dancing in Bed
This Chapter is Great because it has been Blessed with Taiora!
"One and two and skip and three! One and two and skip and three! One and two and twirl and three!" We are at the University of Ty. This is the class for the medieval folk dances. And the person who is talking is the flamingly gay dance instructor. His name is Homo Sexual and he is teaching a group of 25. One of them is Mimi.
"One and two and skip and THREE! Very good loves, take five." Said Homo.
Mimi shook her hair loose out of its ponytail and plopped down on a chair.
"Whew!" She said, "at the very least that was a good workout." She looked at her dance instructor, he was wearing a pink leotard with matching pink leg-warmers. He was also wearing yellow shoes and a purple headband. She had to ask him something.
On the outside, Mimi conveyed herself as a stuck-up air head with nothing better to do than to antagonize over her looks. This was true. However, she was not ditzy. In reality she was actually working for the equivalent of today's FBI. The government job she was working for was ASS-Aros Sleuth Society. And Mr. Homo Sexual was a very suspicious suspect. She was on a mission of incredible importance, which was closely linked with Harry Penis's Operation Rip Apart.
Mimi had to execute extreme caution. She had to find out everything she could on Operation Rip Apart and report it to Aros, which in turn would send it to the King of Ty. Mimi was a fine detective and her innocent looks and headless character would offer a clever disguise. I bet you reader, would never have thought that under that air headed pink princess would lie an experienced investigator. But Homo Sexual was clever, and Mimi had to be careful as not to give away her identity.
She got up from her chair and went up to her instructor.
"Mr. Sexual, may I speak with you for a moment?" She asked.
"Homo love, call me Homo and of course what is it?" He led her into his office, which was littered with pictures of naked men. Mimi tried not to distract herself.
"Sit down sweetheart, make yourself at home." Said Homo. She sat down.
"Mr. Sexual...err...Homo, it has come to my attention that you have been getting an unusually high profit from your dancing class. Surely your source of gold is coming from somewhere other than this class? If you would be so kind as to tell me where your gold is coming from I will be very happy."
Homo was shocked to see Mimi talking like this, she usually couldn't manage more than three words in each sentence. What made matters worse was that she was asking something that was meant to be kept secret.
His eyes narrowed, "Why are you asking this?" He said.
Mimi decided to flatter him: "Well, I saw that you were getting so rich and your folk dancing class are so good and so modern (remember these are medieval times) and I just wanted to know why you are so successful." She stressed every "s" in each so that she sounded like she sprung a leak.
"Oh darling why didn't you say so" Said Homo, "I do get an extra amount of gold. It comes from the Kingdom of the Rancid-Orgs."
Mimi's eyes widened, this man was a criminal. The Kingdom of the Rancid-Orgs was off limits to anyone living in Ty. And this man was a university professor working in Ty!
"Well, Mr. Homo Sexual, my I ask who gives you the money." She said.
"The Org -I mean- person who is giving me the money made me swear not to tell anybody.
"Why is this kept so secret?" She pressed.
"Because it has to do with the fact that the sky is blue, the grass is green, and my leotard is pink!" He said in a sing-song voice.
Mimi grumbled and stood up. "Mr. Sexual, I have no wish to speak about this nonsense. The questions I'm asking you are of dire importance and are extremely fundamental to the well-being of the citizens of Ty. I'm asking you to please desist-" She was interrupted by Homo.
"Oh you turn me on when you speak smart like that!" And he grabbed her and planted one on her lips.
Mimi gasped and shoved him away.
"I thought you were gay!" She exclaimed.
"I am." He said. Then he pointed to the bulge in his pants, "But he isn't."
Mimi stopped herself from slapping him, "Mr. Sexual if you lay a finger on me the president of this university will cut of your arms, your legs, your head, and another part of your body!"
Homo sighed and moved away.
"Right, well five minutes are up. We have to continue the lesson." And he led her out of the office.
After another half hour of "One and two and skip and three!" Mimi wandered around the university campus for a while then she went back up to her dorm. When she got there, she took out a quill, some parchment, and an inkwell and she began to write something.
June 3rd 786,
Lesson today went well. Nothing unusual and I even learned some new steps. I did manage to confirm that Homo Sexual is getting extra gold from the Kingdom of the Rancid-Orgs. This means that they are paying him to keep his mouth shut. I have to find out what they are trying to hide through Homo. I'll update as much as I can.
ASS investigator
Mimi Tachikawa
She rolled the piece of paper up and whistled. A pigeon flew through the window and crashed into a chair.
"You dumb bird watch where you are going!" She said and she tied the note to the pigeon's leg. The bird took off to deliver the message, but not before smashing into the wall first.
"Stupid pigeon, why did they have to give me a blind messenger pigeon." She grumbled. And she watched him fly away in a zigzag path.
***
Tai walked aimlessly around the palace. He was oblivious to everything around him and he had already bumped into three servants, six maids, and the royal dog. He had a certain person on his mind, and we all know who that certain person is: Sora. He couldn't stop thinking about her. She was like an oil spill leaking around his brain. Wherever he looked, he saw Sora. He saw her in the clouds. He saw her on the mountains. He even saw her at the center of his private toilet bowl.
Little did he know that she was thinking about him too, well maybe not, but he thought that she was thinking about him. So, when two people start thinking about each other they usually meet. So it was about that time that Tai saw a flying figure out the window. The figure crashed through the window and landed on top of Tai.(Well "crashed" isn't the correct word because back in those days windows weren't made with glass but with metal bars.)
"Owww." Tai grumbled, "Sora? What are you doing here?"
"Umm, I came to see somebody." She said, Don't stare at him, she told herself. Don't stare or you'll give yourself away.
"Why did you fly through the window? We have doors you know." He said sarcastically.
Sora got up off of him, "Yes I know but the winds were strong." This was a lie, the reason she crashed through the window was that she was spying on Tai and she wanted to get a closer look.
"So who do you want to see?" Tai asked.
"You-I mean I don't know." She stuttered.
"You came here to see somebody but you don't know who he is?" Tai raised his eyebrow.
Sora glanced around nervously. "Ok the situation is getting awkward. I came here to see you, because...well, I like you, in a non-likeable sort of way."
Tai blinked. "Ok. I'm going to go back into my room now. When I come back we'll start the conversation over."
Sora nodded and Tai went back up the hall, turned around and came back down again.
***
The Palace that Tai had had an awkward encounter with Sora in and the university that Mimi was going to were both located in Tie, the capital of Ty. If you walked about a hundred miles north, you would come into the Kingdom of Ju-Ju-Hick. If you kept going you'd come to the city of Ju-Ju. Ju-Ju-Hick was a very small Kingdom, but many different kinds of people lived there. One of these people was a boy genius, Izzy. He was modifying an invention that had brought Ju-Ju-Hick great wealth. This scene takes place in Ju-Ju laboratories.
"Well, I think this should do it." The boy said to his assistant.
"What is the new material that you are using?" The assistant asked.
"I call it, latex!" Izzy said with pride.
"Latex? How is this new substance better than wood?"
"Well it's really simple. Latex stretches, allowing you to fit "it" on any size."
"And why should "it" not be made of wood?"
"Wood hurts the girl a lot more and the boy wouldn't feel anything."
"Izzy you never cease to amaze me. What are you going to call "it" "
Izzy took a deep breath and beamed with pride at the little package he was holding in his hand, "I call it, the condom!"
The assistant clapped his hands with delight. This was a wonderful invention! Everyone was going to want one! Ju-Ju-Hick would gain a lot of gold through this little condom. They would sell one to every male on the street. The only kingdom that would not have one would be Ju-Ju-Hick's mortal enemy: Aros.
After doing a little dance of delight, which consisted in slamming his head against the table numerous times, Izzy began tying the condom to a messenger pigeon.
"What are you doing." Said the assistant.
"I have to have this thing tested, but it's to big and it won't fit on me or on anyone else in Ju-Ju-Hick for that matter. I know just the person who can try it out for me." Said Izzy. The he scribbled something on a piece of paper and tied that along with the condom to the pigeon's leg.
The pigeon bolted out the window and flew south, towards Ty, towards Tie (notice the play on words ha ha ha).
***
*WARNING* !Major fluff/romance in the next passage!
Tai and Sora were sitting on a bench outside in the castle courtyard. Tai had broken the ice by now and Sora was confiding in him something she found very hard to talk about.
"So, why didn't things work out with you and Matt?" Tai asked.
"Well, it's kind of complicated. Part of it had to do with the fact that one day he chased me around the house with a javelin trying to kill me." She said, "But then I found out the shocking truth. Are you familiar with sprite regulations, Tai?"
"Can't say I am, why?" He asked.
"Sprites can't be...intimate with humans. If I were to sleep with Matt he would turn into a beetle or something." She said.
Tai gulped, "Is there anyway around that?"
"Unless somebody invents something that allows intercourse without direct contact no." She said. Little did she know that that invention was on its way.
She continued her story, " So anyway, Matt didn't know I was a sprite. I kept it from him because if he found out I knew he wouldn't marry me. So when he did find out, he said the only reason he wanted me was for my-" She broke off because she started crying.
She buried her face in Tai's chest in order to muffle her sobs. Tai put his arms around her, he felt something he never felt before-sorrow, compassion, love?
"I'm so sorry." He said holding her tighter. She blinked back the tears and looked up at him.
"Thank you, Tai" Her voice quivered. He held her in a tight embrace for a few more minutes, then she spoke.
"Well, enough about my love-life, let's talk about you. What's the first thing you look at in a girl?" She asked curiously. Tai noticed that she hadn't shifted from the current position they were in.
He was about to say that the first thing he looks at on a girl are her breasts, but he thought better and said, "I look at a girl's eyes."
Sora raised an eyebrow, "Really?"
"Yeah." Tai said and he decided that this was the perfect time to say something sweet and sappy. Something he had read in a book somewhere. He looked into her ruby eyes.
"Speaking about eyes" he said looking at her, "I don't think I've ever seen a color like the one of your eyes before. I've never seen a color so deep or so pretty. No, wait, yes I have."
She fell for it like a worm on a hook, "Well, where did you see that color?" She asked eagerly. He decided to tell the truth, if he recited a line out of a book, he ran the risk of her having read the book already.
"It was two years ago." He began, "I was sixteen. My family and I where on top of the Measly Mountains. Then, when the sun was just about to set, it turned into a beautiful shade of dark crimson, and like magic, the rest of the sky around the it turned into that gorgeous color as well. And..." He stopped waiting to see her reaction.
"And?" Sora pressed.
"And I remember just staring at the sun, thinking I was going to go blind, not blind from the light but blind from the beauty of the light. I kept thinking to myself that I would never see something so beautiful or majestic again. But, now that I look at into your eyes, I guess I was wrong."
She turned to jelly in his arms.
"Tai, that was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me." She muttered. She still hadn't shifted from Tai's embrace.
A little ditty started going through Tai's head it said "Kiss her now you idiot, this is your perfect chance!" But he waited to see what she would do.
She moved to a more comfortable position: sitting on his lap.
"What else do you look for in a girl." She asked. Her voice was light and dreamy. She seemed to be hypnotized by his words.
"Well." He said as he ran his fingers through her hair, "you're hair for example, it's so soft and pretty. I love the way the sun shines on it. The way your hair reflects the light makes it look almost blonde. And I can't help but notice when you fly the way the wind plays with your hair. It throws little strands of auburn hair around your pretty face." He said this last sentence while running a finger down her cheek.
She was gone, completely gone. It would take her a while to snap out of the romantic trance that she was in.
"And you know what else?" He asked her.
"What?" She whispered, she had lost her voice a few minutes ago.
"Your lips." He said, "they're so soft and moist. It almost seems like your pink lips are asking for something, something I hope I can give them."
At this point if Tai said anymore she wouldn't have heard it. Her eyes fluttered closed and her arms found their place around his neck. Her cheeks blushed, and then their lips melted into a warm kiss.
He kissed her soft lips again and again. The two teenagers were both in heaven.
After a while Sora broke the last kiss and sad expression crossed her face.
"What's wrong?" He said.
"I can't." She muttered, "You're a human and I'm a sprite. It'll never work."
At that moment a pigeon flew by and dropped a piece of paper and a small package in Tai's hand.
Sora took the piece of paper while Tai curiously opened the package.
Two seconds later, they looked at each other and a warm smile appeared on Sora's face while a broad grin spread across Tai's.
***
End of sappy romance. Now Mimi is going to go James Bond style.
It was midnight. Mimi was prowling around in the long dark halls of the university. She was looking for a book that Homo Sexual was keeping secret. Her blind pigeon had brought her a message (after crashing into three trees) from the King of Aros that Homo was keeping something of drastic importance in a book called 1,2 Skip, and 3.
So here she was, sneaking around barefoot as not to make noise, trying to find Homo's office in the dark. She was still enraged about the way he had touched her earlier that morning. How dare he touch an ASS investigator. He was going to pay, she thought but first she had to get the book.
She made her way down the hall and to her relief, found Homo's office without a problem. She went in slowly, trying not to make the door creak. In the pale moonlight, she managed to see the various books spread around on the desk. It took her five seconds to find the book she wanted.
"Here this is it! This was way too easy." She exclaimed. The she froze. She heard a scream down the hall, a paralyzing heart wrenching scream that died down almost as quickly as it came. She was shaking with fear. But then she felt the bulge in her pocket. A knife and a small piece of parchment signed by the King of Aros, it was a license to kill. If a murdered was lurking in the building, she would be safe with her knife.
Soon after the scream she heard footsteps coming her way. She looked around for a place to hide, but the desk was to small to crawl under and there were no other hiding places. She spotted a book shelf at the end of the room. Oh well, it would have to do. She scrambled up on top of the bookshelf a second before the door opened and two men walked in.
One of them she recognized, he was Homo Sexual and he was carrying a candle. Good, she thought. At least it was still dark and he couldn't see her if he kept the candle away from the bookshelf. The other man was a stranger to her.
"Well Carl," Said Homo to the man, "I want you to deliver this message to Harry."
"Why don't you get a pigeon to do it for you?" Asked Carl (that was the other man's name.)
"Because it's too risky, someone could intercept it. Plus I want, you to memorize this message instead of writing it on parchment because it could be stolen."
"Alright Mr. Sexual you're the boss." Said Carl.
At that point Mimi slipped a little off the shelf. The shelf was high but it was built on a slant so she was finding it more and more difficult to hold on. She lay on the shelf as still as she could not daring to breath. Homo looked back suspiciously but then ignored whatever sound she had made. She was still safe.
"Ok Carl this is the message, 'Nobody knows about the powers of the folk dances yet. It is confirmed that if a human does a folk dance in front of an Org the Org will go crazy and suffer a sever case of chronic crapping disorder in which the Org will explode. The folk dance also had another purpose, which is described in the book 1,2,Skip, and 3.' Mimi clutched the book to her chest with one hand while holding onto the shelf with the other, she was slipping.
Homo continued, "Also, I've sent my best spies to search for Tk. He has not been found but rumors say that he is lodging in the palace of Ty in the city of Tie. Can you remember all of that Carl?"
"Of course." Said Carl, "I've been specially trained. I could recite to you everything you said since you walked through that door."
"Very good, now I need you to go to the Kingdom of the Rancid-Orgs. Go to Blackball and give the message to an Org called Harry Penis."
Carl's eyes widened, "But the Kingdom of the Rancid-Orgs is off limits!"
"So what, you're a criminal aren't you? Now start running I want Mr. Penis to have that message by tomorrow." Homo snapped.
"Yes, Mr. Sexual." Grumbled Carl and he bolted out of the room. His footsteps died away almost instantly.
Homo stretched, "Oh dear, I feel bad that I had to kill that student in the hall, but nobody has to know about my deal with Harry." With that he made for the door.
That was just about the time that Mimi couldn't hold on to the shelf any longer, her hand slipped and she came crashing from the bookshelf onto the desk. The desk buckled and gave way under her weight and she tumbled to the floor.
Homo just stood there with his mouth open. Mimi didn't hesitate to pick up a paperweight she found on the desk and hurl it at Homo. The weight got him in between his eyes and he fell like a sack of potatoes.
Mimi got up, mumbled something about her hair being out of place, and snatched up the book. She looked at Homo and thought that at least he wouldn't remember what happened after he woke up. Then she took off and darted down the hall and didn't stop running until she got to her room. There, she wasted no time in lighting a candle and promptly leafing through the book she had just stolen. What was the other purpose of the folk dances. She almost laughed out loud when she found it.
The book read: After having mastered a complete course in folk dancing 1, 2, skip and 3, sexual needs can and will be fulfilled. If a female were to perform a folk dance before sexual intercourse, the chances of an increased pleasurable climax would be guaranteed.
Mimi rolled her eyes, that was it? Folk dances made sex feel better. It would have to be confirmed though. If Folk dances gave an Org chronic crapping disorder, how could it also improve sex? Fortunately, she knew just the girl that could confirm this information for her.
She whistled and her blind pigeon flew through the window, crashed into the desk, and sat up perched on her shoulder waiting for the message. She wrote down what the book said and she also wrote asking if the person she was sending this to would have sex to confirm the information. She knew that the receiver would be happy to oblige.
"Ok you blind bird, bring this to Sora and try not to crack your head open on the wall ok?" Mimi said. As if the bird understood, he flew through the window without crashing into a wall, but he did crash into a tree.
***
Sora walked up into the guest chambers in the palace of Ty. Tai had invited her to spend the night. She was just about to go to bed when a bird flew through the window and slammed into her head.
"Ouch! What is this, oh you're Mimi's bird aren't you." She said taking the message. She watched the bird fly back through the window and crash into another bird before flying home. Sora read the message and her eyes went wide.
"Wow, really? Well I guess I'll try." She muttered. And she began to twirl and jump sanding on the bed.
As she performed the folk dance, Tai walked into the room wearing only a towel around his waist. The sight of Sora skipping around like a fairy made him drop his towel. She was so startled when he walked into the room that she quickly made up an excuse.
"I was just doing my Yoga." She said, then she realized that Tai was naked and she almost fell off the bed.
Tai blew the candle out, and put on Izzy's invention. And, well, you can imagine the rest. Oh and by the way, the folk dance that Sora did before the action really did work. But enough invading on their privacy now, let's leave them alone. So Tai and Sora were left undisturbed to their love-making until about 7:00 in the morning when Kari found them both naked in bed. This is going to be tough to explain, thought Tai.
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Well how was it? In chapter four I'll introduce Matt and Joe and there will be more takari. Unfortunately, this chapter will be the only chapter in the fic that has taiora. I don't want to push the taiora thing too far because it might lose it's charm. So I hope you'll look forward to the next few chapters, they will be funnier than this one because this one was mainly dedicated to taiora. But this is a takari fic, so on to the next chapter!
Oh yeah please R/R, I love reviews HINT, HINT. Bye.
Should the fic be funnier, scarier, more intellectual? If you think so, e-mail me: Capz087@aol.com
