Weak & Strong - Part II
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By Dementia_12

"Sendoh, what do you want?"

I stop and look at him, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk to find an answer. Sendoh stops as well, a strange expression gracing his face fleetingly before he gestures forward.

"I need to talk to you but privately. Just a little further, ok Hanamichi?"

I don't reply but continue walking, my mind flying forward with a mess of possibilities of what was to come. Did he know that I wasn't joking about what I said? Did he finally want me? Would everything be as perfect as I dreamed it to be? I could feel the warring emotions inside my heart, waiting anxiously for his words.

//Please. I don't think I could stand him rejecting me again.//

As we began to cut across the park to Sendoh's mystery spot, I reached out and took hold of his arm.

"Wait."

Pulling him to face me, I put both his hands on Sendoh's shoulders and quietly relished the innocent contact. My patience dwindling, I intoned, "Can we just get it over with, Sendoh? I kind of have things to do."

It wasn't true; nothing was as important to me as spending time with him but I didn't want him to know it.

//Your weakness is his power! Don't let him know!//, the wounded part of my heart called out to me in warning. I clenched my jaw and tried to smile at him in defiance of my pain. It felt tight and artificial to me, but he gave me a smile back that seemed sad somehow and nodded.

"Ok." he agreed amicably.

Before I could stop my traitorous mouth, I asked, "Are you okay?" genuine concern wrought in each word.

//Stop it! Stop it! He'll know you care!//, my heart cried. I quickly suppressed the voice with a gruff

"I do care!!" from my mind, squashing it relentlessly as I anticipated Sendoh's reply.

I moved to pull my hands away from him but he grabbed one. I don't think I stopped my short gasp from escaping at his touch but he didn't seem to have heard it.

"It's been a while since we've talked, ne?" he asks me in return, his dark eyes glinting enigmatically.

Shit, he's making me nervous...
Gotta stop it before I -

I suddenly laugh involuntarily and place my free hand on the back of my neck, feeling myself turn a little red.

Shit! Too late.

"I think it's been a couple of weeks, ne? Who's counting, right?" I answer jauntily, following it with a chuckle.

It's been a month and three days since I've had a reason to feel this giddy. I know that much.

He smiles at me more brightly and finally lets go of my other hand.

"Some thing never change, do they Hanamichi?" Sendoh asks, tilting his head.
His question cuts off my responding laughter abruptly when I think about it.

Some things never change...

"We'll always be friends, ne Hanamichi?" Sendoh inquired.

I immediately wondered what would make him ask such a thing but the look of his face told me what I needed to know. I realized that Sendoh knew I hadn't been joking when I had told him that I loved him not so long ago and now he was wondering where we stood.

He looked concerned, even worried over the fact that we might not be friends anymore.
And that thought warmed my chilling heart immeasurably.

He loved me.

Sendoh did love me.

Not the way I needed but the fact that he cares about me this much thrilled me. I want him to be in my life no matter what and if I have to make do with a friend who loves me this way, than I'm still a damn lucky man.

And I guess this is something I need to have more of in my life too.

Damn, I know I'm going to be wasting a good nights sleep by thinking about all of this but already, I'm feeling more hopeful than I have in a while.

I wrap an arm around Sendoh's shoulder with a bark of laughter that comes straight from my gut, and steer him onward.

"Geez, you're becoming sappy in your old age, Sendoh! You'll always be fortunate enough to be friends with the Tensai! HAHAHA!"

I could detect a sense of relief in Sendoh's reciprocating laughter and I squeezed him closer to me.

Hell, we may just be friends but I can still cop a feel! Ore wa Tensai! HAHAHA!

[To be continued…?]