VI.
So much is expected of me, I hardly know where to start. My parents, well, they would love me no matter how well I did. If I wanted to become a dentist, they'd support me, though I must admit, they love the idea of having a Witch in the family. My friends, well, they think I'm crazy, all the extra studying I do. All my teachers, except for Snape, remark that I am one of their best students. No, the expectation doesn't rest there. It's me. I have to do well. I have to do well if only to prove to that slimy Malfoy just what a muggle-born Witch can do.
I sometimes feel like I know nothing. Most questions that are asked in class I know the answer to, but I always feel divorced from the other Wizards and Witches, like there's this whole wealth of knowledge they inherit from birth that I have to struggle along to find. The thing that most annoys me is that my best friends don't even seem to notice I'm not the same as the other students. They seem to take it for granted that I do so much work simply because I enjoy work. It's not that at all! I have to know these things. In order to be a good Witch, I have to work hard. Ron may be lax in his studies, but he already knows a hundred times the amount I do about the Wizarding world. Harry has more courage and natural talent in his little finger than I have in total.
Still, though, I'm constantly reminding them of things. They drive me up the wall, especially Ron. Harry and Ron are always scoffing at the books I read, and they never listen to what I tell them. How many times have I had to tell them you can't disapparate or apparate in the Hogwarts grounds, for example? Almost every theory those boys come up with contradicts something I've already told them. Am I the only one who bothers about these things? I don't know what I'd do without Harry and Ron as friends, though. We may fight at times, but I think that my time at school would be unbearable if I didn't know that when I really need it I have a person to rely upon. This isn't even including all the support Hagrid, Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore give me! I want to go on and be something important, do something that will break down the prejudices in the Wizarding world and in order to do that, I just simply have to do well here. I do not want to be an ordinary Witch, I want to be an extraordinary Witch. And I will be, in time.
End VI.
VII.
Listen to me when I am talking to you! Honestly. I sometimes wonder if you have half a braincell left in that mutton head of yours. As I was saying, they are going to find out our real power soon, I can feel it. It is growing stronger, you know. Every day I check to see how it looks, and I can feel a small twinge. It is darker than ever before. The Dark Lord will rise again, and soon, I am sure of it. On one level it would be better if he doesn't, of course, but one has to make certain considerations. And I am growing terribly weary of simply sitting on the back fence. I wouldn't be surprised if I've forgotten half of the Dark Arts I learnt under his reign. I do enjoy a good mudblood torture. I know who exactly who is going to come first when the Dark Lord makes his appearance.
I only hope he is wise enough to realise we had no choice in our actions. Did he expect us to simply give ourselves up? To fight to the death? Anyone with sense would see that it is more prudent to preserve yourself so that the Dark Arts continue through your sons. Ahh, my son. No subtlety, no wisdom, no forethought, just says and does as he pleases. Constantly whining and whinging. His grades are an absolute disgrace! He should watch what he says, as well. How often have I had to defend myself because of something he's said in class? Idiot. I do not want a simply ordinary son, I want an extraordinary son, and he, sadly is not going the right way about it. I have no doubt as to his capability when the time arises, however. He will know what to do, who to choose, how to act. Whether or not he does so with any finesse is another matter.
Scared? Are you completely insane? I am not scared of the Dark Lord. I may be slightly concerned as to how he feels he should treat us, especially after the Quidditch World Cup debacle, oh how I would love to find out who did that, but no, not scared, concerned, and that is none of your business anyway! Just because I have the foresight to keep my guard up, doesn't mean I wasn't always loyal to the Dark Lord. On the contrary, by pretending to be one of them, I was helping him. Who else will have as much information as I do? We will reign supreme again. Our foes will crumble into dust. And as for that Dumbledore – I will never have a moment of pure job that rivals the one I will feel when he gets put firmly in his place. In the ground.
End VII.
VIII.
It is upon us, oh! Lost, lost forever. I see no happiness in our futures, dears, no happiness at all. I fear that several of our number will leave us forever, but your sacrifices will not go unnoticed! Your names will embolded others to crusade on. Your heroism will strengthen the weakest of us to continue in your wake. It is sad that it has to happen this way, but it will, my dears, it will. Never before have I felt as strong vibrations as I do now!
The-boy-who-lives will live no longer… of that I am assured! He has had such lucky escapes in the past, such lucky escapes, but one cannot expect such luckiness to continue, no! The stars conspire in his downfall and without him we are surely vanquished. No, there is to be no celebration this year, no celebration at all. Such dark portents show me the truth… such darkness will befall us!
My inner eye sees everything! Such torment… such pain. Such a horrible, horrible descent. Darkness follows my visions everywhere… stalks my mind… taints all my dreams. My dreams are not merely dreams, no, but prophetic realisations. Oh, it is a gift, a wonderful gift that I should be able to warn such worthy people of what is to come… and a curse that I should have to feel the torture and suffering. How many times have I wanted to cast away my abilities and lead a normal life? Some seem to think that absolute knowledge is a joke… that my inclination is pointless… what do they know of the times we live in? They do not pay proper respect to the fates. Without someone who can truly See we are lost forever! Oh, but we are lost already anyway!
End VIII.
IX.
I try my best in everything, but somehow things always seem to go wrong. I'm always studying, always trying to follow directions, but whenever I do, I get something mixed up – I'll think of a different potion for instance – and that's that – I'm done for – and so are my grades. The number of books I've read is phenomenal, I spend lots of time in the library, but unlike Hermione, for me, none of it sticks. When it comes to an important essay, it all disappears and all I'm left with is a blank piece of mind, and parchment. I'm regarded as a laughing stock, even by the boys in my dorm. If only I could show them somehow I'm not just a forgetful dolt. Herbology is the only subject I'm half-way good at, but that's not considered a great feat. Anyone can remember how to pot a mandrake.
I wonder sometimes if I'm letting them down. Gran's careful to make sure I don't think about them too much, but it's difficult. It's like asking me to get the highest mark in Potions. They're alive, but I've never really known them. They… they… oh, it isn't fair. Well, that's an understatement, but it's true. Everytime I think about it my insides chill, I find it hard to breath, to think. I always feel like there's something missing, like I know something but can't quite remember. I don't want to remember. It's horrible. Horrible! And there's nothing I can do about it, nothing! I can't even make them proud… I'm hopeless. I wish… I wish there was something I could do. Anything.
End IX.
X.
That filthy rotten Bagman, we're gonna make him pay up or pay the consequences. I mean, we've cheated people out of their money, sure, but not to that extent! Our life savings! How're we ever going to get our business up and running without any money? In order to make our merchandise, we need ingredients, and in order to get ingredients we need money, and in order to make money we need merchandise. It just goes round and round.
Of course, the good thing is, we've got a ready market. Those canary creams are a huge hit. I couldn't be prouder! Not one of the adults takes us seriously, though, we're just kidding around according to them! Kidding around? I'll show you kidding around, heh! Mum just wants me to get good grades, ten O.W.Ls at least, she said, and then go off and be another mindless drone for the Ministry of Magic, like Percy, writing reports about Cauldron bottom thickness! I mean, honestly, woman, you might as well ask that I start lobbying to become Head Boy, it's just not me! Percy was a defect, not a prefect, and I'm not going to be one too!
I wonder how long it'll take to get that amount of money again? If Mum hadn't taken away the ton-tongue toffee! They would have sold really well. Course, it would have been a bit distracting, wouldn't it? Distracting, but funny! Wish I'd seen the effect it had had on Big-Fat-Dollop-Dudley. Poor Harry, feel sorry for him having a cousin like that. Could only imagine what it must be like knowing you're related to something like that. Course, I'm related to Percy, so it's kind of the same, isn't it? I hope Ron doesn't become like Percy, yeesh, could you imagine another Head Boy in the family? No, we'll have to keep him on the straight and narrow. Speaking of straight and narrow, maybe we could send Bagman a 'peace gift' of Flavourful Deflating Fudge – he'll be flat as a pancake for hours! Not to mention having a taste of spinach in his mouth! Hmm – better go tell Fred.
End X.
So much is expected of me, I hardly know where to start. My parents, well, they would love me no matter how well I did. If I wanted to become a dentist, they'd support me, though I must admit, they love the idea of having a Witch in the family. My friends, well, they think I'm crazy, all the extra studying I do. All my teachers, except for Snape, remark that I am one of their best students. No, the expectation doesn't rest there. It's me. I have to do well. I have to do well if only to prove to that slimy Malfoy just what a muggle-born Witch can do.
I sometimes feel like I know nothing. Most questions that are asked in class I know the answer to, but I always feel divorced from the other Wizards and Witches, like there's this whole wealth of knowledge they inherit from birth that I have to struggle along to find. The thing that most annoys me is that my best friends don't even seem to notice I'm not the same as the other students. They seem to take it for granted that I do so much work simply because I enjoy work. It's not that at all! I have to know these things. In order to be a good Witch, I have to work hard. Ron may be lax in his studies, but he already knows a hundred times the amount I do about the Wizarding world. Harry has more courage and natural talent in his little finger than I have in total.
Still, though, I'm constantly reminding them of things. They drive me up the wall, especially Ron. Harry and Ron are always scoffing at the books I read, and they never listen to what I tell them. How many times have I had to tell them you can't disapparate or apparate in the Hogwarts grounds, for example? Almost every theory those boys come up with contradicts something I've already told them. Am I the only one who bothers about these things? I don't know what I'd do without Harry and Ron as friends, though. We may fight at times, but I think that my time at school would be unbearable if I didn't know that when I really need it I have a person to rely upon. This isn't even including all the support Hagrid, Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore give me! I want to go on and be something important, do something that will break down the prejudices in the Wizarding world and in order to do that, I just simply have to do well here. I do not want to be an ordinary Witch, I want to be an extraordinary Witch. And I will be, in time.
End VI.
VII.
Listen to me when I am talking to you! Honestly. I sometimes wonder if you have half a braincell left in that mutton head of yours. As I was saying, they are going to find out our real power soon, I can feel it. It is growing stronger, you know. Every day I check to see how it looks, and I can feel a small twinge. It is darker than ever before. The Dark Lord will rise again, and soon, I am sure of it. On one level it would be better if he doesn't, of course, but one has to make certain considerations. And I am growing terribly weary of simply sitting on the back fence. I wouldn't be surprised if I've forgotten half of the Dark Arts I learnt under his reign. I do enjoy a good mudblood torture. I know who exactly who is going to come first when the Dark Lord makes his appearance.
I only hope he is wise enough to realise we had no choice in our actions. Did he expect us to simply give ourselves up? To fight to the death? Anyone with sense would see that it is more prudent to preserve yourself so that the Dark Arts continue through your sons. Ahh, my son. No subtlety, no wisdom, no forethought, just says and does as he pleases. Constantly whining and whinging. His grades are an absolute disgrace! He should watch what he says, as well. How often have I had to defend myself because of something he's said in class? Idiot. I do not want a simply ordinary son, I want an extraordinary son, and he, sadly is not going the right way about it. I have no doubt as to his capability when the time arises, however. He will know what to do, who to choose, how to act. Whether or not he does so with any finesse is another matter.
Scared? Are you completely insane? I am not scared of the Dark Lord. I may be slightly concerned as to how he feels he should treat us, especially after the Quidditch World Cup debacle, oh how I would love to find out who did that, but no, not scared, concerned, and that is none of your business anyway! Just because I have the foresight to keep my guard up, doesn't mean I wasn't always loyal to the Dark Lord. On the contrary, by pretending to be one of them, I was helping him. Who else will have as much information as I do? We will reign supreme again. Our foes will crumble into dust. And as for that Dumbledore – I will never have a moment of pure job that rivals the one I will feel when he gets put firmly in his place. In the ground.
End VII.
VIII.
It is upon us, oh! Lost, lost forever. I see no happiness in our futures, dears, no happiness at all. I fear that several of our number will leave us forever, but your sacrifices will not go unnoticed! Your names will embolded others to crusade on. Your heroism will strengthen the weakest of us to continue in your wake. It is sad that it has to happen this way, but it will, my dears, it will. Never before have I felt as strong vibrations as I do now!
The-boy-who-lives will live no longer… of that I am assured! He has had such lucky escapes in the past, such lucky escapes, but one cannot expect such luckiness to continue, no! The stars conspire in his downfall and without him we are surely vanquished. No, there is to be no celebration this year, no celebration at all. Such dark portents show me the truth… such darkness will befall us!
My inner eye sees everything! Such torment… such pain. Such a horrible, horrible descent. Darkness follows my visions everywhere… stalks my mind… taints all my dreams. My dreams are not merely dreams, no, but prophetic realisations. Oh, it is a gift, a wonderful gift that I should be able to warn such worthy people of what is to come… and a curse that I should have to feel the torture and suffering. How many times have I wanted to cast away my abilities and lead a normal life? Some seem to think that absolute knowledge is a joke… that my inclination is pointless… what do they know of the times we live in? They do not pay proper respect to the fates. Without someone who can truly See we are lost forever! Oh, but we are lost already anyway!
End VIII.
IX.
I try my best in everything, but somehow things always seem to go wrong. I'm always studying, always trying to follow directions, but whenever I do, I get something mixed up – I'll think of a different potion for instance – and that's that – I'm done for – and so are my grades. The number of books I've read is phenomenal, I spend lots of time in the library, but unlike Hermione, for me, none of it sticks. When it comes to an important essay, it all disappears and all I'm left with is a blank piece of mind, and parchment. I'm regarded as a laughing stock, even by the boys in my dorm. If only I could show them somehow I'm not just a forgetful dolt. Herbology is the only subject I'm half-way good at, but that's not considered a great feat. Anyone can remember how to pot a mandrake.
I wonder sometimes if I'm letting them down. Gran's careful to make sure I don't think about them too much, but it's difficult. It's like asking me to get the highest mark in Potions. They're alive, but I've never really known them. They… they… oh, it isn't fair. Well, that's an understatement, but it's true. Everytime I think about it my insides chill, I find it hard to breath, to think. I always feel like there's something missing, like I know something but can't quite remember. I don't want to remember. It's horrible. Horrible! And there's nothing I can do about it, nothing! I can't even make them proud… I'm hopeless. I wish… I wish there was something I could do. Anything.
End IX.
X.
That filthy rotten Bagman, we're gonna make him pay up or pay the consequences. I mean, we've cheated people out of their money, sure, but not to that extent! Our life savings! How're we ever going to get our business up and running without any money? In order to make our merchandise, we need ingredients, and in order to get ingredients we need money, and in order to make money we need merchandise. It just goes round and round.
Of course, the good thing is, we've got a ready market. Those canary creams are a huge hit. I couldn't be prouder! Not one of the adults takes us seriously, though, we're just kidding around according to them! Kidding around? I'll show you kidding around, heh! Mum just wants me to get good grades, ten O.W.Ls at least, she said, and then go off and be another mindless drone for the Ministry of Magic, like Percy, writing reports about Cauldron bottom thickness! I mean, honestly, woman, you might as well ask that I start lobbying to become Head Boy, it's just not me! Percy was a defect, not a prefect, and I'm not going to be one too!
I wonder how long it'll take to get that amount of money again? If Mum hadn't taken away the ton-tongue toffee! They would have sold really well. Course, it would have been a bit distracting, wouldn't it? Distracting, but funny! Wish I'd seen the effect it had had on Big-Fat-Dollop-Dudley. Poor Harry, feel sorry for him having a cousin like that. Could only imagine what it must be like knowing you're related to something like that. Course, I'm related to Percy, so it's kind of the same, isn't it? I hope Ron doesn't become like Percy, yeesh, could you imagine another Head Boy in the family? No, we'll have to keep him on the straight and narrow. Speaking of straight and narrow, maybe we could send Bagman a 'peace gift' of Flavourful Deflating Fudge – he'll be flat as a pancake for hours! Not to mention having a taste of spinach in his mouth! Hmm – better go tell Fred.
End X.
