Lots to do and less time to do it in. I'll put in more ANs next time. Have fun!

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 6

"This place is amazing, isn't it?" Rin commented as the two girls crossed a small bridge near the center of the castle grounds.

"I never thought a place like this could exist," Tsukiyo replied; even after five months, she still regarded the castle with awe. The grounds, encircled by elegant buildings and broad covered walkways, were literally acres in size and encompassed both ceremonial and practical gardens. Wood and stone combined to make solid structures that were still much more decorative and less defensive than any castle Tsukiyo had known.

"It can't," the older said bluntly. "Not in our world. If people tried working together, then perhaps. . . But there are too many wars, too many deaths to allow a place like this to happen. Not that youkai are the most peaceful of races, but they have different ways. Sesshoumaru-sama will never have to worry that a besieging army will appear at his gates." Rin giggled. "And even if they did appear, he'd probably just ignore them."

"How--" Tsukiyo halted when the other girl turned her attention to her, then took a deep breath and plunged on. "How can you treat Sesshoumaru-sama so casually?" she blurted out, then colored.

"How can you not?" Rin threw the question back at her. She sobered quickly when she saw how distressed the girl was. "Come. Sit next to me and I'll try to explain." Rin quickly outlined her history, from as far back as she could remember, to her meeting with Sesshoumaru, up until the present. "So, you see, Sesshoumaru-sama became my own personal kami, Rin-chan's own personal bosatsu." Rin's voice was dreamy as she spoke of the past. "If I had been older, if I had known exactly what he was, I probably would have reacted differently. As it was, the only thing I could do was worship him the same way I had worshipped my parents. If he went somewhere, I followed. I loved him with everything I had. And I knew, I certainly knew, that he would never die on me, like my parents had, like everyone I knew had. He may go to the ends of the earth, but there was no place I couldn't follow him. As long as he was there, I would never be alone.

"Our relationship changed as I grew, as I saw more of him and the world. He went from being a kami to a father to an older brother. He's always been distant, but somehow, I've always been able to get through his barriers. And now, I still love him terribly, but I realize he's not perfection incarnate. Do you know," Rin turned to face Tsukiyo suddenly, "that in youkai years, Sesshoumaru-sama's still incredibly young? That no youkai, not even a Taiyoukai's direct heir, would even think about trying to hold the position at his age? Even if they inherit, they rule through a regent for hundreds of years, someone who has the wisdom and strength of age."

"How old is he?" Tsukiyo asked in hushed tones.

"I'm not exactly sure," the girl demurred. "But I think, if he were human, he wouldn't be that much older than I am. Perhaps twenty-five." She waved away Tsukiyo's surprised exclamations. "My point is, Tsukiyo-san, is that while Sesshoumaru-sama's both experienced and strong, he is emotionally challenged. You know how boys are. There's a lot of background to his attitude, stuff nobody really knows except him. And it's not going to change anytime soon. He's not old enough to know when to bend."

"He will always hate me then, won't he?" Tsukiyo's pain was so clear in her face that Rin ached for her. But Tsukiyo needed the truth more than anything else right now.

"It is possible. It is also possible that you could make him care, though I don't know if it would be in the way you want him to. I don't know how, but I did manage to claim a small piece of his heart. I think," Rin frowned slightly. "I think the best thing for you is just to try to earn his respect. It's not an easy thing to do. He respects very few people. But be strong. That's the best advice I can give you. Sesshoumaru-sama respects strength more than anything else. And. . ."

"And what?" Tsukiyo gazed at her with eyes filled with trust and hope.

"For his sake. . . just be there for him. He doesn't think so, but even Sesshoumaru-sama needs someone to listen to him and care for him. And I--I can't be there for him anymore, not like I used to." Rin's eyes drifted off to stare at the tiny waterfall nearby.

"You feel like you abandoned him," Tsukiyo guessed shrewdly.

"Mmm." After a moment, Rin turned back to Tsukiyo, a mischievous grin on her face. "Tell you what. I'm going to officially name you my successor. To the title of Caretaker of Sesshoumaru-sama. Faithful Follower of Shou-chan."

Tsukiyo giggled. "That sounds very important."

"Uh-huh. Very important and very difficult. Not for the ordinary woman. Think you're up to the challenge, missy?"

"Yes, sir!" The two girls dissolved into gales of laughter.

As the laughter drifted back across the grounds, Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow in mild surprise. Rin's laughter was a reminder of some of his happiest moments and always welcome. But for all the months he had known her, Tsukiyo had never laughed. She was a silent shadow in his home, rarely reminding him of her presence except for her scent, for which he was grateful. It was difficult to be faced with a constant reminder of how moronic one had been. But still her laugh was pleasant, a rich, rolling sound unlike the shrill twitters of most females, human or youkai. In an odd way, it reminded him of his mother's laugh, though it was nothing like those clear crystal tones. Sesshoumaru gave a mental shrug; the mind often made illogical connections like that.

But it was unsettling to think of his mother at this time. She had been a proud woman, proud of her position, of her husband, of her son. She would have been very disappointed in him to discover the way things had turned out. His hand strayed to the fur he always wore. She had gifted it to him on her death bed; she was such a powerful demon that even her tail possessed powerful magic. Mother, what would you say to your son now?

He was pulled out of his reverie when he noticed that Sachiko, too, had an interest in the fur. Reining in his outrage, he pulled the end from her tiny fist just before it had a chance to go in her mouth. He growled in irritation. When was her mother going to come back and take responsibility for her?

When she finally reappeared, he remembered her last words to him. With a silent sigh, he led her to one of the family chambers and settled in for a lengthy and probably not undeserved lecture on his stupidity. What took him by surprise was the way she skipped over everything he expected her to say.

"Sesshoumaru-sama. I won't say I'm pleased with what has happened, but what is done is done. And besides, it takes two people to have an affair. That is not my concern." Her astringent tone was entirely contradicted by the tenderness on her face as she dandled Sachiko on her knee. "What I am concerned about is how that girl's being treated now that she is here."

"Surely you do not suggest that I would mistreat the girl?" Sesshoumaru's voice was low, dangerous.

"Not intentionally, no. But you ignore her, which eventually comes to the same thing. She is the mother of your child, Sesshoumaru-sama, and she deserves at least a little of your attention. Besides which, she's so shy and lonely--and in awe of you--that she won't ask for what she needs and her body's suffering from it. Haven't you noticed how thin she is? She's over seven months pregnant, for pity's sake! And yet she barely touches her food. You ought to be there, to make her eat for the sake of the child at least. She's only sixteen and has no idea how to take care of herself. Even I had my mother-in-law to look out for me, to give me tea when I had morning sickness and hold my hair back, to make sure everything went as well as possible. She has no one; you don't give her the time of day and none of your servants or retainers are going to pay the least attention to her unless you give them some sign to do so! And that's your job, Sesshoumaru-sama! You're the father, whether you meant to be or not and that means you have responsibilities. You ought to have a care for her and even if you don't, think about the child! It's your child, Sesshoumaru-sama. You are going to be a father. You need to see to its welfare. If she doesn't take care of herself, that child won't be healthy when it's born. She needs proper food and exercise and rest, and some conversation if you can manage it. She needs cheering up.

"Well, I've said my piece, Sesshoumaru-sama. Think it over. The two of us need to be on our way home. But I'll be back in another month and I'll stay until the baby's born. If I can, I'll bring a midwife with me. She's going to need someone who has more of an idea of what's going on than I do." Rin stood up, then leaned over Sesshoumaru to give him a kiss on his forehead. "Think about what I said, Sesshoumaru-sama. Please." And then she was gone.

Sesshoumaru leaned back against the wall and stared into space. Rin had brought up several things that had never occurred to him. That his child might not be born healthy That human birthing was so delicate

That he would be a father.

I'm going to be a father. Sesshoumaru rolled that thought around in his mind. I'm going to be a father. Visions of his own childhood flashed before him like koi in a pond. His father teaching him to fight. Scrambling up his father's shoulders when he was very young. Touken-sama had appeared like a mountain to him in those days. And now. . . Now there would be a child who would look up to him just as he had looked up to his father. There would be a child who needed to be taken care of, guided, trained. He would be a hanyou. But he would be his son. His first-born.

He would make sure his child was worthy of that position.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" The quiet voice emanating from beyond the closed door startled him. Quietly and effortlessly, the youkai stood and crossed the room, sliding open the door.

"It is time for the evening meal, Tsukiyo-san," he said smoothly. "Come. You need to eat."

--tsuzuku

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Cultural Notes

Kami is Japanese for god or gods. In Shinto, however, kami are perhaps more akin to spirits, being gods of mountains, trees, etc. People can also become kami after they die.

Bosatsu are Buddhist deities, people who can go to Nirvana (paradise) but choose to stay and help others achieve Nirvana. Also known as bodhisattva.