I'm not sure if I'm pleased or apalled at this chapter. Get out your hankies, girls, I've laid the melodrama on nice and thick this time.
Ladymage Samiko ^_~
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Of Moonlight and Honor
Part Twelve
"Is she any better?" Sesshoumaru asked quietly.
Rin shook her head. "She should never have gotten out of her bed. Tuskiyo's exhausted herself. Her cold's become pneumonia." She looked up into his face, her own expression drawn, her eyes pleading for Sesshoumaru-sama to make it right somehow. "I don't think she can last much longer."
It had been a week since the attack on his family. When he had found it impossible to rouse Tsukiyo, he sent Jaken and A-un to fetch Rin. Kyoumi-san had returned with them and it was she who gave Sesshoumaru the news that Tsukiyo was dying. In inexplicable anger, he had turned abruptly and left the castle. There had been little left of Nagisa when he returned covered in blood. At least, little that could be identified as youkai.
Yumemi's round face had been solemn when he returned. And he could not think of a single thing to tell her.
"Toshi was supposed to stay with us," she told him. "He laughed when I ordered him to stay and said he owed nothing to a human." She pulled her hands from behind her, showing her father the bloodstained claws. "He won't laugh anymore," she said with somber satisfaction.
"No," Sesshoumaru agreed, "he won't laugh. Come, Yume-chan. We should bathe before we go in to see your mother." They clasped hands and went together.
But though the deaths of the traitors went some way to soothing their feelings, they could not improve Tsukiyo's health. She steadily declined over the week that followed. All that was left of her was a pale, sweating shadow of the woman she had been, as startling a difference as that between her youkai persona and her human one. And it kept reminding him of something he had said once: "I take care of my own." Tsukiyo was dying and it made him feel like a hypocrite.
He limited Yumemi's time in the sickroom on Rin's advice, so that the girl wouldn't attract the devils of sickness herself. They would visit together, in the evenings when the family had been accustomed to gathering. Yumemi would curl up next to her mother, her eyes sad, but dry. Sesshoumaru would sit nearby, silent, unwilling to intrude on the moment, unsure of what to say otherwise. Tsukiyo would occasionally look over at him and smile tentatively, but she did not speak to him, either.
On this day, it was early for a visit--only mid-afternoon--but Sesshoumaru felt that they could not waste any time. Rin had said that there wasn't much longer for the young woman. Unfamiliar with illness, he wasn't quite sure what this meant exactly, only that time was running out. He sent Yumemi in before him, though he did not tell her what Rin had said. He himself returned to his own chambers. There was a sword stand there, across from his bed. He knelt before it and for long, silent moments, he regarded the swords it bore. Slowly, he reached across and took the top sword in a firm grip. Rising, he gave thanks to his father's spirit and asked for guidance from his mother's. He took his leave and retraced his steps to Tsukiyo's chamber, the Tenseiga at his side.
"Sesshoumaru-sama..." Tsukiyo breathed, surprised. She appeared unsure as to whether she should be pleased or embarrassed that he had joined them. Coughing, she struggled to pull herself up into a sitting position but was abruptly halted by the pressure of Sesshoumaru's hand on her chest. She stared at him, wide-eyed.
"You are ill," he rumbled. "Do not make the problem worse." Tsukiyo nodded mutely and relaxed back against her pillow.
Her eyes drifted down and away from him, avoiding all contact for several quiet moments. Her hand, which was busy stroking Yumemi's hair, was the only thing in the room that moved. "I think," she rasped, "that both you and I know that there is little I can do that would make my situation any worse than it is, Sesshoumaru-sama." He head dipped in a grave nod. "Still," she continued, a slight smile illuminating her face, "I cannot regret anything, Sesshoumaru-sama. I made a promise to Yumemi a very long time ago and I was able to keep it. I only wish--" she broke off as her lungs fought to clear themselves. Wordlessly, Sesshoumaru supported her head and chest as she turned to expel the thick phlegm into a bowl. As she settled back down, one hand went back to the small girl lying beside her, the other covered his own, keeping it against her. "I only wish, Sesshoumaru-sama," she whispered, "that I could be stronger. I want to continue keeping that promise. I want to be there for her as she becomes a young lady.
"And I want to be there for you." Her eyes looked up at him apologetically. "I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama, that I couldn't be the strong youkai you wanted."
An instant revelation surprised him. He replied, "You are the strongest woman I have ever known," and knew he spoke the truth.
"Sesshoumaru-sama..." she breathed. He tried to pull his hand back; he could smell death hovering over her and knew he would not have much time to use the Tenseiga once it claimed her. But her hand clutched his tighter when she saw the sword belted at his side. "No!" came her harsh exclamation. In surprise, her daughter sat up, taking the hand that stroked her hair in her own two. "Let me go, Sesshoumaru-sama," Tsukiyo pleaded. "This is how it should be. Just let me go."
"Okaa-chan..." Yumemi's eyes pleaded with her mother, tears brimming within them.
Tsukiyo smiled once again, that odd, serene smile. "Enma is calling me, my little Yume-chan. As strong as you are, you will learn that no one can resist the gods. Not even you, Sesshoumaru-sama.
"I do love you, Yume-chan, with all my heart. You are the reason for my life and with you here, healthy and happy, I do not regret my actions. I love you, my daughter.
"Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"Yes?"
Her hand squeezed his slightly. "I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. I still love you after all of these years. If you remember nothing else of me, remember that." Sesshoumaru knew there was a time when he would have snorted in derision at these weak, human sentiments. But now, Tsukiyo's words were important. He regarded her solemnly, quietly. She seemed satisfied.
After a long moment where nothing save Tsukiyo's harsh breathing disturbed the silence, it startled him to feel her pull at his hand. He allowed it and she put his and Yumemi's hands together. "Take care of each other," she ordered softly. "She is your responsibility, Sesshoumaru-sama. And he is yours, Yume-chan. Take care of your father." Her words slipped into silence as unconsciousness claimed her. Yumemi and Sesshoumaru kept watch over her, their hands still clasped until, less than an hour later, her harsh breaths stilled and her spirit flew.
--tsuzuku. . .
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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)
Enma is a Buddhist god who judges the dead and decides whether they go to heaven or hell or are reincarnated. In the English version of Descendents of Darkness, he is equated with Hades.
