Disclaimer - Only borrowing these characters for some fun.
Pairing: Jed/Abbey
Background: Pre-White House. Jed's father crosses the line.
Rating: God Q. Wish I knew. Let's go with PG-13.
Author: Karin Andersson
Thank you: Kim, as always.
Feedback: "If you like it you do and if you don't you boo." - J.R.R. Tolkien (Yes, I crave it!!!)
One Strike and you're out
~ Jed's POV ~
Home. It's always good to come home after a day's work. As I open the door, I hear quick steps approaching me. I have barely put my briefcase down before Zoey, my youngest, clings to me. I ask her what's wrong.
"Liz is crying."
I look up and see Ellie standing at the foot of the staircase. "Something is wrong." She confirms what I already knew.
I take Zoey's hand in mine and walk over to Ellie. "What happened?" The thought of one of my girls being unhappy is hard. I want them to be happy all the time, 24 hours a day. Impossible I know, but hey, I'm a father.
"I don't know. She just came home and raced upstairs to her old room, locked the door and won't answer our calls. All we hear is loud crying."
I see the sadness in Ellie and in Zoey. It's like a chain reaction. If one of the girls is sad, the others are as well, not to mention Abbey and me. "OK." I let Zoey go and walk upstairs to Liz's old room. She may live on her own, something I fought for a long time, but we kept her room just like it was and she knows she is always welcome here. A part of me is glad that when she is unhappy, she chooses to return here to her family. Whatever she is going through, we can work it out. I reach Liz's door and can clearly hear her crying and it breaks my heart. Liz is the strong one. She does not cry easily. Whatever it is, it must be bad. I knock on the door. "Liz, honey, it's Dad."
The crying stops and I hear footsteps. She unlocks the door and then some more footsteps. I open the door slowly and see her right away sitting on her bed. "Honey?" She doesn't answer. I close the door behind me and walk over to the bed to sit next to her. She turns her head away from me. I brace myself. "What's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant."
I feel relieved. And yet I do not.
"I hope you aren't disappointed in me?"
How could she ever think that? "No, not at all. Honey, I love you and nothing in the world could make me disappointed in you." She still does not turn to face me. "And your mother feels the same way." She turns her head slightly, but her long hair covers her face. Why? "Don't you want the baby?" Somehow I doubt that is the reason.
"No, I want it."
It can't be her boyfriend. He's a good guy. It took me a while to get used to seeing Liz dating, but I do like him. God, this means they are having.... No, don't even think about that now or ever. "What about...." Darn it, I forgot his name, again.
"No, he is very happy. He wants to marry me."
That does not surprise me. "You know I married your mother when she was pregnant with you. I didn't marry her because of it as I had planned on marrying her anyway. We just married sooner than planned, that's all." I hear her sniffle.
"I know he loves me."
"Were you crying because of me and your Mom? How we would react?" I dread the answer.
"No."
"Good, because believe it or not, I'm happy. Your Mom will be, too. Sure it might have been better if you had finished school, but these things happen. It happened to your mother and me and we've done all right." She brushes some hair away from her face as she turns to me and I see it! A big bruise just under her right eye. It screams at me and I fight to control myself. "Who did this to you?" She tries to look down, but I make her look at me again. "Who did this?" Then it hits me. She was going to visit my father today. Oh my God, he didn't! "Did your Grandfather do this to you?" She looks at me in surprise and admission at the same time. I feel sick. The bastard promised. I get up.
"Dad, don't be mad at me?"
I turn to look at her in surprise. Mad at her? How could she possibly...? I feel even more sick now. I sit down next to her and take her hands in mine. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at your grandfather and I'm mad at myself." I see the confusion in her eyes. I must tell her. I need to tell her. I owe her that much. "Your Grandfather used to hit me when I was young."
There is no mistaking the pain in her eyes. How I wanted to avoid this. "I really don't know why. Abbey used to say it was because he felt I was smarter than him and he couldn't stand that." I can't control myself as I caress her cheek and feel the tears sting my eyes. "Please forgive me, baby; we decided not to tell you because we didn't want you to resent your Grandfather. Your mother and I made damn sure he wouldn't dare to harm any of you girls." I feel the tears dripping down my cheeks and see the ones in Liz's eyes. "Looks like I messed up."
There is a brief smile on Liz's face before she embraces me and I hold onto her for dear life. A part of me never wants to let her out of this house again.
"It's not your fault, Dad."
I close my eyes and hope someday I will feel that way, but not now. It is my fault. I should have protected her more. She pulls back and I see the love in her eyes, no anger at all. I realize I need to know. I don't want to, but I need to. "Why did he hit you?"
"I told him. I didn't mean to, but he's always been so kind and understanding before, so I figured why not?"
We painted a false picture of my Dad and this is the result. Could I hate myself more right now?
"I have to admit, I suspected he might have hit you."
It's my turn to be surprised. "How?"
"Because of the things he said."
I swallow. Many times my father's words were harder than the slaps themselves. I am not sure I can take anymore. "What did he say?"
"He called me a 'worthless whore'...."
If my father was here right now, I would have killed him.
"...that I was not any better then my father, his sorry excuse of a son..."
I don't mind him saying things about me as I have learned to live with it long ago, but when he does the same to her, I will not tolerate it. I can see though, that hearing her grandfather saying such things about her father must have been hard. Could I possible hate my own father anymore right now?
"You know that's not true, right?"
I look at her, not quite sure what she means. "What?"
"You are not worthless. You're the best father and I'm sure Mom would say you are a wonderful husband."
I can't help but to smile. My girl is trying to make me feel better even amidst all the pain she feels herself. So much like Abbey. I nod. I can't possible say anything right now. I cough slightly as I get up.
"Dad?"
I turn to look at her and the bruise on her face seems to yell at me. "I need to see your grandfather." She practically jumps off of the bed.
"Dad, no, just leave it!"
Leave it? There is no way in hell I can do that. I take her hands in both of mine. "He promised us he would never hurt any of you girls. Just because you're a grown woman..." She may be, but to me, she will always be my little girl. "...doesn't mean he can get away with this. When you were born, I told him 'one strike and you're out.' He knew what I meant and in case he didn't, Abbey made it clear for him. Well, he's out of this family. I'm never letting him anywhere near any of you again." She doesn't say anything. Maybe the possibility of my father hitting her sisters is stopping her. I draw her into an embrace and whisper how much I love her. She responds in kind. I pull back and walk away.
When I get downstairs Ellie and Zoey approach me. I quickly tell them their sister will be fine. I kiss each one on their foreheads and head out. I hurry to my car and get in. I need to be strong. I need to be strong for myself, but most importantly for my family. When my father tried destroying me, Abbey was the one who saved me. Now it's time for me to save my family. To get rid of the cancer in it. As I drive I wonder how my mother will take this. My sweet, loving mother! According to Abbey, my mother is the reason I'm such a good guy and she's right. My mother has never failed me. My father was just very smart, making sure she knew as little as possible. She always wanted to see the best in people.
I cannot get the image out of my head of Liz with a black eye. Damn him! Focus, I need to focus. What could I do if I end up in a car crash? I pray my mother will understand why I have to do what I'm about to do. As I get closer I hope this won't take too long. I want to be home when Abbey gets home. I know she'll feel the same way I do, that we failed our baby. I'm lucky not to have been pulled over considering the fast speed I'm driving at.
There it is! The house I grew up in, the house filled with pain thanks to my father, but also the house filled with love thanks to my mother and my brother. This is not going to be easy, but it has to be done. My father crossed the line today when he hurt Liz. I get out of the car and it is with heavy steps I approach the house. Taking a deep breath, I walk inside. I never had to knock. I step inside and the whole place is dark.
"What took you so long?"
So he was expecting me. He damn well should have. "I think you know why I'm here." I see him sitting in his favorite chair with a glass and an almost empty bottle of whiskey.
"I didn't mean to hit her. It just happened. I'm sorry."
Just for a few seconds, I'm surprised. He never, ever, once tried to apologize when he hit me. He always felt it was justified. Those feelings vanish quickly as I again see Liz's face before me. "I don't give a damn. You hit me, that's one thing, but when you hit someone I love, someone I would die for before seeing hurt like this, then you've gone too far." He is trying to say something, but all I hear is mumbling. "I just came to say what you probably already know. You are not part of my family anymore." Even in the darkness I see his face going pale. "Don't be so shocked. I told you to never, ever, lay a hand on my children or that would be the end of your association with them, Abbey and me." He doesn't say anything. I don't know why. Maybe he is surprised I am finally standing up to him or he simply does not care.
"I'm sorry."
It's a weak apology and I can hear that he is actually sounding like he is crying.
"I'm sorry for everything."
I'm not sure if he means for what he did to Liz or even for what he did to me in the past, but truth be told, I don't care. No amount of apologies can cover the rage I'm feeling. Rage blended with pity. He looks so weak in the corner with glass in hand. A hand that is shaking slightly. "I can't believe you called her a 'worthless whore'. That hurt her more than anything else." He doesn't say anything and I understand why. He has given up. Finally he feels I've beaten him and he knows nothing he can do will change the way I feel. He looks over my shoulder and I turn to see my mother. Now I feel terrible. I can't stay here anymore. I quickly walk passed her and out of the house. I don't get very far.
"Josiah."
My mother's pleading voice stops me. I turn and see her seating herself on the steps to the patio. She pats next to her, indicating for me to join her. I reluctantly do so. I could never disobey my mother. As I sit down, I feel the need to say something. "I'm sorry."
"No, darling, you have nothing to apologize for."
I look up to her face and her beautiful blue eyes shine with love upon me. I realize there is something I must know. "Mom, did Dad ever hit you?" I pray with all my might that the answer to that is no. She caresses my hair. With her I feel like a little boy again, the same way I feel that my girls, no matter how grown they are, are always my little babies.
"No, your father never hit me."
Thank God, that's all I can say. Thank God.
"You are probably wondering why I'm still with your father after everything he did to you?"
I never really thought about it that way. "Not really. I know he loves you."
"I know you can't forgive him, but I want you to know that the main reason I believe he hit you...."
I can see how hard this is for her. "Mom, I never blamed you. You were always there for me and I never once held it against you." She nods and tries composing herself.
"The main reason I think was because his father used to hit him."
I stare at her. I'm shocked. I never knew. My grandfather died when I was young and we didn't talk about him much. I know children who are abused often continue that abuse with their own children. That was my worry when Abbey became pregnant, but Abbey was never worried. She knew. When Liz was born, then Ellie and later Zoey, she knew I would never harm them. She had more faith in me than I had in myself. My brother used to say it was Abbey's influence that helped me. I have no doubt that is true. Where would I be without Abbey? "Mom, he hit Liz." I say out of the blue.
"I know. He told me. He was very upset."
"It doesn't change things. I mean I think I understand better, but it doesn't change things. I can't have him as part of my family anymore." I look at her and hope she understands.
"I know."
"You know you are welcome anytime, Mom." I want her to know she is not left out. She is very much still part of my family.
"Can I go home with you? I would like to talk to Liz. I want her to know that she still has her grandmother."
I nod and stand up. I offer my hand to her and she takes it so I can help her up. We get in the car and I drive away without looking back. My mother and I don't say anything as I drive. What's there to say really? I think deep down she knew this separation would come and maybe I did, too. It's starting to rain and it's getting dark, a fitting end to my relationship with my father. Funny, I always thought somehow he and I could make amends. He destroyed any chance of that when he hit Liz.
As I pull up I see Abbey's car. I dread what is going on inside. My mother gets out and I follow her gesture. She doesn't wait for me as she walks inside. I wait for a few moments before I enter. I walk over to the living room and see my mother holding Liz in her arms. Liz has a small smile on her face. My mother has always had a special way with her grandchildren, especially Liz. I'm glad to see that is still intact. I leave them and walk into the kitchen.
"Jed."
It's Abbey. I turn on the lights and she is sitting at the table. She's been crying. "You know?" She nods.
"I hope you told that piece of shit that we will never let him near our children again."
It wasn't a question, it was a statement. "I did." I walk up to her and draw her out of the chair to embrace her. She puts her arms around my neck and buries her head in my shoulder. I can feel her tears on my neck. Abbey crying is just as hard as having one of the kids cry. "He won't hurt any of us again." She mumbles something and I have to pull back. "What, I didn't hear you?"
"I'm sorry. Forgive me?"
I'm confused. "For what?"
"I should have told. Why didn't I tell you?"
She let's me go and faces me. "Told me what?" I suddenly feel fear again. "Has my father hit Ellie or Zoey?" She looks me in the eye.
"No, no, God no, I would have told you that."
"Then what...?" I suddenly realize what she means and it makes me sick all over again. Please let me be wrong. "Has my father hit you?"
"It was a long time ago."
I panic. "When? Why?" I walk up to her and grab her arms.
"When I went over to him, the first time after we had told your parents I was pregnant."
I stare at her. "You said you visited my parents, both of them?"
"No, it was just your father. Your mother wasn't there. You never knew because it was days before we saw each other after that."
I feel tears starting to form in my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know. I guess I took to heart what he said."
She is crying and I can't stop from crying myself. "What did he say?"
"He said that 'I trapped you into marriage. That you were just having fun with me.' I knew you loved me, but I don't know...I should have told you, then this with Liz would never have happened."
I embrace her and hold her tight. "No, it's not your fault. I wish you would have told me, but baby, this is not your fault." We hold onto each other in the comforting way we can only feel with each other. "So, this is why you were so adamant that we talk to my father before Liz was born? To make sure he would behave?"
"Yes."
She sniffles and I pull her tighter to me. "You were right though." She pulls back and looks at me. "When you suspected that my father had been hit by my grandfather. He was. My mother just told me." She simply nods and embraces me again. "Have I ever thanked you?"
Again, she pulls back and looks at me in question. "I was always so worried I would hit Liz when she was born, then Ellie and Zoey. You knew I never would. You had so much faith in me. Even when I doubted myself, you were sure of me. Your faith in me is what made me. Thank you and I love you, more than you could possibly imagine." She smiles at me and leans over to kiss me. I respond gladly, feeling better than I have all day. She leans back and looks into my eyes.
"I love you, too. Liz is strong. She'll be all right."
I nod, having no doubt that Abbey is right. Liz is strong. "So, looks like were going to be grandparents." Abbey chuckles slightly.
"We're far too young."
"I know you are." I wink at her and she pats my shoulder.
"She'll make a great mother."
Again I don't doubt Abbey is right. "She's had the best role model." Abbey smiles as she snuggles up to me and I draw her close to me. My first few years on this earth may not have been the best, but that changed the day this wonderful woman, whom I'm now holding in m arms, walked into my life. As long as I have her, I can handle anything. As long as I have her, my daughters and Leo, I'll be OK. I know none of them will ever betray me. Leo McGarry is my best friend, well next to Abbey of course. I guess I should tell him what happened today. He'll say it was about time. He'll be angry about what happened to Liz, I know he will, and he'll agree with me that what I did was for the best. Someday I'll also tell Ellie and Zoey the truth. Probably soon, once they start asking why their grandfather isn't visiting anymore. But for now I'm happy just to stand here in the kitchen with the woman I love in my arms, the woman that changed my life for the better and who I cannot live without.
THE END
Pairing: Jed/Abbey
Background: Pre-White House. Jed's father crosses the line.
Rating: God Q. Wish I knew. Let's go with PG-13.
Author: Karin Andersson
Thank you: Kim, as always.
Feedback: "If you like it you do and if you don't you boo." - J.R.R. Tolkien (Yes, I crave it!!!)
One Strike and you're out
~ Jed's POV ~
Home. It's always good to come home after a day's work. As I open the door, I hear quick steps approaching me. I have barely put my briefcase down before Zoey, my youngest, clings to me. I ask her what's wrong.
"Liz is crying."
I look up and see Ellie standing at the foot of the staircase. "Something is wrong." She confirms what I already knew.
I take Zoey's hand in mine and walk over to Ellie. "What happened?" The thought of one of my girls being unhappy is hard. I want them to be happy all the time, 24 hours a day. Impossible I know, but hey, I'm a father.
"I don't know. She just came home and raced upstairs to her old room, locked the door and won't answer our calls. All we hear is loud crying."
I see the sadness in Ellie and in Zoey. It's like a chain reaction. If one of the girls is sad, the others are as well, not to mention Abbey and me. "OK." I let Zoey go and walk upstairs to Liz's old room. She may live on her own, something I fought for a long time, but we kept her room just like it was and she knows she is always welcome here. A part of me is glad that when she is unhappy, she chooses to return here to her family. Whatever she is going through, we can work it out. I reach Liz's door and can clearly hear her crying and it breaks my heart. Liz is the strong one. She does not cry easily. Whatever it is, it must be bad. I knock on the door. "Liz, honey, it's Dad."
The crying stops and I hear footsteps. She unlocks the door and then some more footsteps. I open the door slowly and see her right away sitting on her bed. "Honey?" She doesn't answer. I close the door behind me and walk over to the bed to sit next to her. She turns her head away from me. I brace myself. "What's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant."
I feel relieved. And yet I do not.
"I hope you aren't disappointed in me?"
How could she ever think that? "No, not at all. Honey, I love you and nothing in the world could make me disappointed in you." She still does not turn to face me. "And your mother feels the same way." She turns her head slightly, but her long hair covers her face. Why? "Don't you want the baby?" Somehow I doubt that is the reason.
"No, I want it."
It can't be her boyfriend. He's a good guy. It took me a while to get used to seeing Liz dating, but I do like him. God, this means they are having.... No, don't even think about that now or ever. "What about...." Darn it, I forgot his name, again.
"No, he is very happy. He wants to marry me."
That does not surprise me. "You know I married your mother when she was pregnant with you. I didn't marry her because of it as I had planned on marrying her anyway. We just married sooner than planned, that's all." I hear her sniffle.
"I know he loves me."
"Were you crying because of me and your Mom? How we would react?" I dread the answer.
"No."
"Good, because believe it or not, I'm happy. Your Mom will be, too. Sure it might have been better if you had finished school, but these things happen. It happened to your mother and me and we've done all right." She brushes some hair away from her face as she turns to me and I see it! A big bruise just under her right eye. It screams at me and I fight to control myself. "Who did this to you?" She tries to look down, but I make her look at me again. "Who did this?" Then it hits me. She was going to visit my father today. Oh my God, he didn't! "Did your Grandfather do this to you?" She looks at me in surprise and admission at the same time. I feel sick. The bastard promised. I get up.
"Dad, don't be mad at me?"
I turn to look at her in surprise. Mad at her? How could she possibly...? I feel even more sick now. I sit down next to her and take her hands in mine. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at your grandfather and I'm mad at myself." I see the confusion in her eyes. I must tell her. I need to tell her. I owe her that much. "Your Grandfather used to hit me when I was young."
There is no mistaking the pain in her eyes. How I wanted to avoid this. "I really don't know why. Abbey used to say it was because he felt I was smarter than him and he couldn't stand that." I can't control myself as I caress her cheek and feel the tears sting my eyes. "Please forgive me, baby; we decided not to tell you because we didn't want you to resent your Grandfather. Your mother and I made damn sure he wouldn't dare to harm any of you girls." I feel the tears dripping down my cheeks and see the ones in Liz's eyes. "Looks like I messed up."
There is a brief smile on Liz's face before she embraces me and I hold onto her for dear life. A part of me never wants to let her out of this house again.
"It's not your fault, Dad."
I close my eyes and hope someday I will feel that way, but not now. It is my fault. I should have protected her more. She pulls back and I see the love in her eyes, no anger at all. I realize I need to know. I don't want to, but I need to. "Why did he hit you?"
"I told him. I didn't mean to, but he's always been so kind and understanding before, so I figured why not?"
We painted a false picture of my Dad and this is the result. Could I hate myself more right now?
"I have to admit, I suspected he might have hit you."
It's my turn to be surprised. "How?"
"Because of the things he said."
I swallow. Many times my father's words were harder than the slaps themselves. I am not sure I can take anymore. "What did he say?"
"He called me a 'worthless whore'...."
If my father was here right now, I would have killed him.
"...that I was not any better then my father, his sorry excuse of a son..."
I don't mind him saying things about me as I have learned to live with it long ago, but when he does the same to her, I will not tolerate it. I can see though, that hearing her grandfather saying such things about her father must have been hard. Could I possible hate my own father anymore right now?
"You know that's not true, right?"
I look at her, not quite sure what she means. "What?"
"You are not worthless. You're the best father and I'm sure Mom would say you are a wonderful husband."
I can't help but to smile. My girl is trying to make me feel better even amidst all the pain she feels herself. So much like Abbey. I nod. I can't possible say anything right now. I cough slightly as I get up.
"Dad?"
I turn to look at her and the bruise on her face seems to yell at me. "I need to see your grandfather." She practically jumps off of the bed.
"Dad, no, just leave it!"
Leave it? There is no way in hell I can do that. I take her hands in both of mine. "He promised us he would never hurt any of you girls. Just because you're a grown woman..." She may be, but to me, she will always be my little girl. "...doesn't mean he can get away with this. When you were born, I told him 'one strike and you're out.' He knew what I meant and in case he didn't, Abbey made it clear for him. Well, he's out of this family. I'm never letting him anywhere near any of you again." She doesn't say anything. Maybe the possibility of my father hitting her sisters is stopping her. I draw her into an embrace and whisper how much I love her. She responds in kind. I pull back and walk away.
When I get downstairs Ellie and Zoey approach me. I quickly tell them their sister will be fine. I kiss each one on their foreheads and head out. I hurry to my car and get in. I need to be strong. I need to be strong for myself, but most importantly for my family. When my father tried destroying me, Abbey was the one who saved me. Now it's time for me to save my family. To get rid of the cancer in it. As I drive I wonder how my mother will take this. My sweet, loving mother! According to Abbey, my mother is the reason I'm such a good guy and she's right. My mother has never failed me. My father was just very smart, making sure she knew as little as possible. She always wanted to see the best in people.
I cannot get the image out of my head of Liz with a black eye. Damn him! Focus, I need to focus. What could I do if I end up in a car crash? I pray my mother will understand why I have to do what I'm about to do. As I get closer I hope this won't take too long. I want to be home when Abbey gets home. I know she'll feel the same way I do, that we failed our baby. I'm lucky not to have been pulled over considering the fast speed I'm driving at.
There it is! The house I grew up in, the house filled with pain thanks to my father, but also the house filled with love thanks to my mother and my brother. This is not going to be easy, but it has to be done. My father crossed the line today when he hurt Liz. I get out of the car and it is with heavy steps I approach the house. Taking a deep breath, I walk inside. I never had to knock. I step inside and the whole place is dark.
"What took you so long?"
So he was expecting me. He damn well should have. "I think you know why I'm here." I see him sitting in his favorite chair with a glass and an almost empty bottle of whiskey.
"I didn't mean to hit her. It just happened. I'm sorry."
Just for a few seconds, I'm surprised. He never, ever, once tried to apologize when he hit me. He always felt it was justified. Those feelings vanish quickly as I again see Liz's face before me. "I don't give a damn. You hit me, that's one thing, but when you hit someone I love, someone I would die for before seeing hurt like this, then you've gone too far." He is trying to say something, but all I hear is mumbling. "I just came to say what you probably already know. You are not part of my family anymore." Even in the darkness I see his face going pale. "Don't be so shocked. I told you to never, ever, lay a hand on my children or that would be the end of your association with them, Abbey and me." He doesn't say anything. I don't know why. Maybe he is surprised I am finally standing up to him or he simply does not care.
"I'm sorry."
It's a weak apology and I can hear that he is actually sounding like he is crying.
"I'm sorry for everything."
I'm not sure if he means for what he did to Liz or even for what he did to me in the past, but truth be told, I don't care. No amount of apologies can cover the rage I'm feeling. Rage blended with pity. He looks so weak in the corner with glass in hand. A hand that is shaking slightly. "I can't believe you called her a 'worthless whore'. That hurt her more than anything else." He doesn't say anything and I understand why. He has given up. Finally he feels I've beaten him and he knows nothing he can do will change the way I feel. He looks over my shoulder and I turn to see my mother. Now I feel terrible. I can't stay here anymore. I quickly walk passed her and out of the house. I don't get very far.
"Josiah."
My mother's pleading voice stops me. I turn and see her seating herself on the steps to the patio. She pats next to her, indicating for me to join her. I reluctantly do so. I could never disobey my mother. As I sit down, I feel the need to say something. "I'm sorry."
"No, darling, you have nothing to apologize for."
I look up to her face and her beautiful blue eyes shine with love upon me. I realize there is something I must know. "Mom, did Dad ever hit you?" I pray with all my might that the answer to that is no. She caresses my hair. With her I feel like a little boy again, the same way I feel that my girls, no matter how grown they are, are always my little babies.
"No, your father never hit me."
Thank God, that's all I can say. Thank God.
"You are probably wondering why I'm still with your father after everything he did to you?"
I never really thought about it that way. "Not really. I know he loves you."
"I know you can't forgive him, but I want you to know that the main reason I believe he hit you...."
I can see how hard this is for her. "Mom, I never blamed you. You were always there for me and I never once held it against you." She nods and tries composing herself.
"The main reason I think was because his father used to hit him."
I stare at her. I'm shocked. I never knew. My grandfather died when I was young and we didn't talk about him much. I know children who are abused often continue that abuse with their own children. That was my worry when Abbey became pregnant, but Abbey was never worried. She knew. When Liz was born, then Ellie and later Zoey, she knew I would never harm them. She had more faith in me than I had in myself. My brother used to say it was Abbey's influence that helped me. I have no doubt that is true. Where would I be without Abbey? "Mom, he hit Liz." I say out of the blue.
"I know. He told me. He was very upset."
"It doesn't change things. I mean I think I understand better, but it doesn't change things. I can't have him as part of my family anymore." I look at her and hope she understands.
"I know."
"You know you are welcome anytime, Mom." I want her to know she is not left out. She is very much still part of my family.
"Can I go home with you? I would like to talk to Liz. I want her to know that she still has her grandmother."
I nod and stand up. I offer my hand to her and she takes it so I can help her up. We get in the car and I drive away without looking back. My mother and I don't say anything as I drive. What's there to say really? I think deep down she knew this separation would come and maybe I did, too. It's starting to rain and it's getting dark, a fitting end to my relationship with my father. Funny, I always thought somehow he and I could make amends. He destroyed any chance of that when he hit Liz.
As I pull up I see Abbey's car. I dread what is going on inside. My mother gets out and I follow her gesture. She doesn't wait for me as she walks inside. I wait for a few moments before I enter. I walk over to the living room and see my mother holding Liz in her arms. Liz has a small smile on her face. My mother has always had a special way with her grandchildren, especially Liz. I'm glad to see that is still intact. I leave them and walk into the kitchen.
"Jed."
It's Abbey. I turn on the lights and she is sitting at the table. She's been crying. "You know?" She nods.
"I hope you told that piece of shit that we will never let him near our children again."
It wasn't a question, it was a statement. "I did." I walk up to her and draw her out of the chair to embrace her. She puts her arms around my neck and buries her head in my shoulder. I can feel her tears on my neck. Abbey crying is just as hard as having one of the kids cry. "He won't hurt any of us again." She mumbles something and I have to pull back. "What, I didn't hear you?"
"I'm sorry. Forgive me?"
I'm confused. "For what?"
"I should have told. Why didn't I tell you?"
She let's me go and faces me. "Told me what?" I suddenly feel fear again. "Has my father hit Ellie or Zoey?" She looks me in the eye.
"No, no, God no, I would have told you that."
"Then what...?" I suddenly realize what she means and it makes me sick all over again. Please let me be wrong. "Has my father hit you?"
"It was a long time ago."
I panic. "When? Why?" I walk up to her and grab her arms.
"When I went over to him, the first time after we had told your parents I was pregnant."
I stare at her. "You said you visited my parents, both of them?"
"No, it was just your father. Your mother wasn't there. You never knew because it was days before we saw each other after that."
I feel tears starting to form in my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know. I guess I took to heart what he said."
She is crying and I can't stop from crying myself. "What did he say?"
"He said that 'I trapped you into marriage. That you were just having fun with me.' I knew you loved me, but I don't know...I should have told you, then this with Liz would never have happened."
I embrace her and hold her tight. "No, it's not your fault. I wish you would have told me, but baby, this is not your fault." We hold onto each other in the comforting way we can only feel with each other. "So, this is why you were so adamant that we talk to my father before Liz was born? To make sure he would behave?"
"Yes."
She sniffles and I pull her tighter to me. "You were right though." She pulls back and looks at me. "When you suspected that my father had been hit by my grandfather. He was. My mother just told me." She simply nods and embraces me again. "Have I ever thanked you?"
Again, she pulls back and looks at me in question. "I was always so worried I would hit Liz when she was born, then Ellie and Zoey. You knew I never would. You had so much faith in me. Even when I doubted myself, you were sure of me. Your faith in me is what made me. Thank you and I love you, more than you could possibly imagine." She smiles at me and leans over to kiss me. I respond gladly, feeling better than I have all day. She leans back and looks into my eyes.
"I love you, too. Liz is strong. She'll be all right."
I nod, having no doubt that Abbey is right. Liz is strong. "So, looks like were going to be grandparents." Abbey chuckles slightly.
"We're far too young."
"I know you are." I wink at her and she pats my shoulder.
"She'll make a great mother."
Again I don't doubt Abbey is right. "She's had the best role model." Abbey smiles as she snuggles up to me and I draw her close to me. My first few years on this earth may not have been the best, but that changed the day this wonderful woman, whom I'm now holding in m arms, walked into my life. As long as I have her, I can handle anything. As long as I have her, my daughters and Leo, I'll be OK. I know none of them will ever betray me. Leo McGarry is my best friend, well next to Abbey of course. I guess I should tell him what happened today. He'll say it was about time. He'll be angry about what happened to Liz, I know he will, and he'll agree with me that what I did was for the best. Someday I'll also tell Ellie and Zoey the truth. Probably soon, once they start asking why their grandfather isn't visiting anymore. But for now I'm happy just to stand here in the kitchen with the woman I love in my arms, the woman that changed my life for the better and who I cannot live without.
THE END
