Summary– Jason makes his entrance.
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A Purr-fect Red Ranger
Tommy
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Before I can question it, I've landed rather hard on my butt. Looking around I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see I'm in a very large, poorly lit, empty room. Wait, empty! No, no, no, where is everyone? Not even caring that the stupid dress has come up in the fall and I'm currently less then covered, I quickly get to my feet and search every corner. Oh please, I'll take any teasing they have just please don't say they've left me.
Finding nothing in the room except for a stupid table in the center, I feel totally ready to just lie down and wait to be saved. Why would they leave me? I mean I know I'm like the outcast of the group, I've only been with them for three weeks, but do they honestly dislike me so much they'd just leave me?
"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date, no time to chat, no time for tea, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late." The fait sound of Kim's voice snaps me out of it instantly. Where is she?
Turning around in a circle I look everywhere again, don't see any…a door? How'd that get there? A second ago it was all solid walls and now-never mind just open it. Crossing the room, I pull the large sized oak door open, only to see, how amusing, another door, only half the size of the first. Oh yeah, I'm definitely not loving this story as much as I used to. Pulling open the second door, I know I shouldn't be the least shocked to see a third, this one half the size of the second. Someone shoot me. Opening this and barely reining in the urge to scream profanities, I nearly loss it as I see the fourth, smaller door. I hate you, whoever is up there ruling my life, I hate you with a passion. Yanking this one open, I breathe a small sigh as I see a road and field of flowers on the other side.
Dashing through the flowers, screaming her head off, Kim comes into view. "I'm late, I'm late, no time to drink, no time think, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" And there goes the bunny girl. But where are the others? Oh well, at least I see her.
"Kim wait!" When she doesn't even turn to acknowledge me, I sigh and stand up. How am I supposed to get through there? How'd it work in the book? Gazing around the room I try to remember. Something about a river of tears? No, that's not right…Eyes suddenly resting on the no longer empty table, I see a small bottle of what looks like Cherry Coke, and a plate of pancakes. I don't think that's how it was in the book, but oh well; I like pancakes so who's arguing. Moving to the table, I pick up the bottle and then one of the pancakes. Oh that's cute. Written in whip cream on the pancake are the words 'Eat Me', while the label on the Coke bottle reads 'Drink Me'. Now which one is suppose make me smaller? Shoot, can't remember if the drink shrunk Alice, or the food.
Taking a bite of the pancake, I wait to see what'll happen. Well, it said 'Eat Me' okay; it was too amusing to not go for that one. Waiting a few minutes, I finally give up when nothing happens. "Well guess I chose wrong, cuz I don't see any change." Sigh, okay, well guess it's time for plan two.
Moving back to the door, I clear my throat. Well now bare in mind the door in the story was alive, so yeah this may seem stupid if any of the others walk in, but I'm a little desperate here. "I'm gonna close these doors again and if I can't get through the big one when I reopen it, I'm gonna set the whole stinken place on fire and burn you into kindling." That said and doors reclosed, I wait a minute and try opening the first, large one again. Well what a pleasant surprise, no doors behind it, just the exit it a nice field of flowers. Lucky me. "Thank you." Stepping through I jump a little when the door slams shut behind me. Guess some things just can't a take a joke.
"Now where'd Kim go?" Gazing around the flower garden, I don't see the bunny anywhere. Guess I'm not the only one who's cranky. Maybe she's getting back at me for suggesting the whole going through the rabbit hole thing.
"The bunny is mad, she behaves rather bad. If you're not careful, you'd better be fearful." Gazing up, I see a very pleased looking Jason, grinning down at me from a thick branch of an oak tree. Fabulous, I'm freaking out and he's playing games and speaking poetry, very sorry poetry at that.
"That was quite awful." Did I just say quite? Whatever. Hands on hips, I wait for him to get his butt down here, and stop fooling around. We have to get out of here and I am certainly not getting separated from the others again.
Grin widening, he remains in exactly the same place. "Would you purr-fer another poem? (1)They are waiting on the shingle-will you come and join the dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance? You can really have no notion how delightful it will be, when they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea. But the sn-"
"Enough!" God what is wrong with him? And think, he's the leader of the Rangers. Geez. Glaring up at him, I try and figure out just what's wrong. Why is he acting so…so…
"So mad?" As if reading my thoughts, he finally jumps down from the branch and lands with all the grace of a cat in front of me. "Because dear gir-err boy, we're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad, that little halfwit bunny girl is most certainly mad." He did not just about call me a girl. Is that why I have to be in a dress? Because I'm not all muscular and macho like the other guys? Well why the hell couldn't it have been Kim or Trini? That's it I'm hitten the gym when we get home.
"I am not mad, I am frustrated, and how exactly do you know you're mad?" This is ridiculous; we have to get out of here. Then why are you striking up a conversation? Shut up.
"If I wasn't, would I be in a place of madness? Tell me, where are you going?" Jason, you know exactly where we have to g…oh no. He's not playing is he? That's why he and the others weren't there, because they weren't supposed to be. We're all playing parts in this stupid story, that's why Kim didn't stop when I called to her, that's why Jason is acting so…insane.
"What shall I call you?" I am not calling him Cheshire Cat, that's for damn sure. Come on, I'm not completely gone; I still know what we have to do and who I am. Why doesn't he?
Grin still in place, he eyes me critically. "What shall I call you?" In a minute you can call me cab to get me the hell out of here and back to reality. Sigh, guess I have no choice but to play along.
About to say Tommy, I suddenly stop myself. Why doesn't that sound right? Something about it…"Thomas, now will you tell me what to call you so we can move on. I need to get to the Red Queen and the end of the story and I can't very well do that with you keeping me h-"
Eyes widening, his grin falters for the first time since I saw him here. "The queen you say? Oh you shant want to go there. What on earth for? Are you going to play crochet with her? She has an awful temper you know, off with their heads an all that." I'll bet. Wonder who got sucked into playing the queen anyway, hmm, well now I'm more curious about it then anything.
"Well I do want to go there and if I have to play crochet to get of this mad house that's what I'll do. Now we've wasted enough time, come on." Taking his arm, I start on down the path through all the flowers. Stupid place, stupid story, stupid dres-oph! What's the big idea! As Jason stops abruptly, I'm stopped too. "What is wrong? We have to get going!"
Shaking his head, He pries my hand from his arm. "No, no, little boy, I purr-fer to simply annoy. This trip is yours to take, it proves to be no piece of cake. So you'll excuse me child if you please, but I will remain here in the tre-oph!"
"Screw that, you're coming." Grabbing his arm again I begin pulling him along. I am not doing this alone, whether you care to remember or not, you're the leader, you're the senior Ranger, you are gonna get your butt in gear and protect me from this stinken place cuz I sure can't fight off any monsters in a dress!
To be continued………
(1)
"Will you walk a little faster?" said the whiting to a snail.
"There's a porpoise behind us and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle-will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?
You can really have no notion how delightful it will be, when they take us up and
throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea. But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and
gave a look askance-
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?
The Mock Turtle sings recites this to Alice in 'Alice in Wonderland'.
(2) "We're all mad here." Cheshire Cat says this to Alice in the computer game and book 'Alice'.
