Summary – Off with his head! No not really.

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A Royal Pain

Tommy

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"Must you be in such a hurry? Purr-haps its best if we-" Jason, not now, okay. I cannot and will not take any distractions when I'm so freaken close to the end here. Just be quiet, get you're claws ready, and-

"Hurry up already!" What now? "We have to hurry or else it's off with our heads!" Oh joy, something new. Heading towards the panicked voice, we quickly come upon the very people who I don't want to see right now.

"Well, finish you're tea party?" Leaning against a large, stone dragon statue, I watch a little perplexed as Kim and Zack slop green pain onto the red roses. Um, correct me if I'm wrong here, but shouldn't they be painting them red, not green? Perhaps it's a Christmas theme.

"You, dress boy, don't just stand there, get a brush and help us!" She did not just call me dress boy. That's it, this bunny is getten her little tail chopped off.

"Looky here, girlie-" Taking a step toward her, I'm stopped as Jase grabs my arm. "I'm not going to hurt her, just maybe spill a little paint on her. You know animal activist thing and all that?" When he shakes his head, I let it drop with a pout. "I hate this place."

"Yes, well hate it while you help us." I think I'd rather not, Zack. Especially after the whole Tea Party scandal. Wait a second…something's off here, aren't the card guards supposed to be doing this? Yeah, that's how the story goes, the cards paint the roses red, not the Playboy Bunny girl and Mad Hatter paint them green.

"Um, I can't, I have to go see the Red Queen. Maybe later." Backing up, I take Jason's arm and start to lead him away. Hmm, now don't get me wrong here, but something's off. Yes, I know the entire thing is off in more ways then one, but still, this is really not right. "Come on, we have to get to the palace."

"Maybe we should have helped them." Yeah and maybe I'd like to finish this story from hell and get home. Besides we are helping them, the sooner we get to the palace and talk to the queen the sooner we can get everyone out of here…well in theory anyway.

Approaching the palace steps, we've finally made it. "They'll be fine. Besides, how can the queen cut off their heads if we keep her busy? Now come on." Taking the stairs two at a time, not easy in a dress I might add, we quickly make it to the doors and burst in. Hey, I am so over being subtle and polite here, okay.

"Probably shouldn't have done that." Looking worriedly around the great entrance hall, Jase hangs back a little ways from me.

"What's the worst that could happen?" I probably shouldn't have said that, huh. Yep, just got us both killed right then, I know. Well I'm new to this superhero thing, I forget that rule sometimes.

"That." See? Turning to see where he's looking, I nearly yelp as I see putties dressed as playing cards suddenly surrounding us. Where'd they come from? Oh, okay I get it, alright, very amusing. So the queen is Rita, huh? Well duh on the Green Boy, guess I should have seen that little one coming. Before either of us can move, we've been grabbed by the card putties, if that's an accurate name, and dragged through another set of huge doors at the end of the entrance hall.

Thrown into what looks like the thrown room, the putties actually move away from us and go to stand by the doors. Strangeness. But then I guess we aren't getting out of here with them guarding the only exit so…

"I was wondering if you'd ever arrive." The deep voice snaps my attention to the thrown a few feet away from us. Okay, that's definitely not Rita's voice. Gazing at the cloaked figure sitting on the golden thrown, I bite back the urge to comment as I can't see who it is under the hood of the red garment. Came all this freaken way and they can't even show me a face. Well isn't that just peachy.

"Who are you?" Does it really matter at this point? I mean seriously now is that really the main goal here? "No, you know what, I don't care who you are, I just want my friends back and to go home-"

"Silence is a virtue, one can not deny, for it is silence that will show you, the truth from the lie." That's great. Good luck with that.

"Look are you in charge here or not? Cuz right now I need to find whoever's in charge around here so I can ask them, or maim them, or beg them, or whatever, just get them to send me home!" I swear if this nutcase tells me to go back to the beginning here, there's gonna be a lot of red liquid on this polished floor real soon.

"Stupid child, still has yet to learn anything." Why don't you take off the cover and come down here, I'll show ya what I've learned.

"How can I learn anything when all that there is to learn around here is nonsense!?" Okay breath, Tommy, just breath. In, out, in, out, it will not do anyone any good for you to go hyperventilating here.

"Oh little nonsense now and then is reveled by the wisest men." I'm not amused. And I know that's from 'Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory', so don't even try it.

"I want to go home!"

"Is that all? Well you should have said something." Reaching up, the hood is slowly drawn back and down. Oh my god, it can't be. "You are home."

To be continued……